That We Must Be Content with the Prayer Described, and Not Repine or Complain at Not Reaching Anything Higher

ALBERTUS MAGNUS says that a truly humble man does not dare to lift up his heart to desire that high and exalted prayer and those extraordinary favors which the Lord sometimes bestows on His friends. He has such a mean opinion of himself that he thinks himself unworthy of all favor and spiritual consolation; and if ever, without his desiring it, the Lord visits him with some consolation, he receives it with fear, thinking that he does not deserve these comforts and bounties and knows not how to profit by them as he should. So if we had humility in us, we should be quite content with any manner of prayer of those that we have described; or rather, we should take it for a particular favor of the Lord that He takes us by the road of humility, for by this we are safe, and in any other way possibly we might fall into vanity and perdition. St. Bernard says that God deals with us as parents on earth do with their children of tender age. If the child asks for bread, they give it willingly; but if it asks for a knife to divide the bread, they will not give it, for they see that it is not necessary, but rather might do the child harm by its cutting itself with it; so the father takes the knife himself and divides the bread, that the child may have no trouble nor run any risk. In this way the Lord acts; He gives you bread already divided into portions, but has no mind to give you the sensible sweetnesses and consolations that there are in high prayer, because perchance you might cut yourself therewith, taking yourself for a spiritual man and preferring yourself to others. The Lord does you a greater favor in giving you your bread already cut than if He gave you a knife to cut the bread. If God by this your present prayer gives you strength and fortitude so great that you would rather burst asunder than sin and keeps you all your life without falling into mortal sin, what better prayer do you want or what better fruit?

This is the answer which the father of the prodigal son gave to the elder brother, who was indignant at seeing his brother received with such festive rejoicings and would not go into the house, saying: “I have served thee so many years and have been subject to thy command and have always been obedient, and thou hast never given me so much as a kid to make merry with my friends; but for this other, who has wasted his property and been disobedient, thou hast killed the fatted calf and made a splendid feast with ever so much music and great doings.” The father answered: ‘Son, see that I do not this because I cherish that other rather than thee. Thou art always in my house with me; still, it will be well for thee to know and duly value what I am doing for thee; do I not always show thee favors and bounty enough in keeping thee always with me?”

(Luke xv. 28-31). And so in your case do you think it a small thing that the Lord should keep you always with Him in His house? It is a better gift that the Lord should give the gift of perseverance and keep you always by Him, not letting you depart from Him and fall into sin, than that He should reach you a hand after a fall, as He did to the prodigal son; just as it is a better gift not to let you break your head than to cure you after it is broken. Now if God, with this prayer that you have, gives you this, what have you to complain of? If with this prayer He gives you a great readiness for all things that form part of the service of God, indifference and resignation for all orders of obedience, what more do you want? If God with this prayer keeps you in humility and in His fear and in the habit of going cautiously, shunning occasions and dangers of sin, why should you sigh for more? This is the fruit that you should draw from any prayer, however high and exalted, that you reached; and were the Lord to give you many spiritual sweetnesses and consolations therein, to this you should refer them all. Now this is what God is doing for you with that plain and ordinary prayer; He gives you the end and fruit of prayer otherwise than by means of those extraordinary elevations and spiritual sweetnesses and consolations, as they experience who persevere in that prayer. So we ought to render God twofold thanks, for that on the one hand He delivers us from the danger of vanity and pride which we might fall into if He took us by the other road; and on the other hand that He gives us the fruit and profit of meditation in full abundance. Holy Writ tells us of the holy patriarch Joseph that he spoke to his brethren in harsh and severe words, and on the other hand he filled their sacks with corn and told his steward to see them well treated. So the Lord often deals with us.

We do not sufficiently understand in what meditation consists; or rather, we do not sufficiently understand in what our spiritual progress and perfection consists, which is the end and fruit of meditation. Thus, many times when things are going badly with us, we think they are going well; and when they are going well, we think they are going badly. Draw from your meditation the fruit we have described, especially to live that day well and with edification, as we have said above, and you will have made a good meditation, though, when you were at it, you were drier than a stick and harder than a stone. And if you do not gather this fruit, you have not made a good meditation, though you were shedding tears the whole time and thought yourself lifted to the third heaven. Henceforth, then, do not complain of meditation, but turn all your complaints against yourself, and say: ‘I’m getting on badly in mortification. Tm getting on badly in humility, in patience, silence, and recollection.” That is a good complaint, since you are complaining of yourself, that you do not do what you ought to do and is in your power. On the other hand, when you go complaining of meditation, it looks like complaining of God for not giving you the facility and consolation and repose you would like. That is not a good complaint; it is not a speech to move God to mercy, but rather to anger and indignation, as holy Judith said to the people of Bethulia: That is not a speech to call down mercy, but rather to excite anger and kindle indignation (Jud. viii. 12). It is a wonderful thing to see how we go the wrong way about things in this business, not seeing that what we ought to complain of is our not being forward in mortifying, humbling, and correcting ourselves, which is in our power; and instead of that we go complaining of that which is not in our power, but stands to God’s account. Busy yourself in mortifying and overcoming yourself and do your part therein, and leave to God what stands to Him to do, seeing He is more desirous of our good than we are ourselves; and if we do what is on our part, we may be quite sure that He will not fail in giving us on His part what is proper for us. Of this we will speak at greater length in treating of conformity to the will of God, where more of set purpose we will meet this complaint and temptation.