That There Is Greater Trouble in Not Practising Mortification Than in Practising It

SOMEONE may say: I see well the advantage and necessity of mortification; but there comes before me the difficulty and labor, and that withdraws me from it. To this I answer in the first place with St. Basil: If for bodily health we willingly take medicines that are very bitter and allow the physician or surgeon to cut and burn where it seems good to him; if for property and money men face such great difficulties and dangers by land and sea, it will be but reasonable to face some difficulty and undergo some labor for the spiritual health of our soul and the attainment of the everlasting good things of heavenly glory. But since after all we are naturally prone to shun labor and trouble, and where we are forced to suffer something, we would wish to have as little of it as possible, I say in the second place that there is greater trouble in shunning mortification than in mortifying oneself. St. Augustine says: “Thou hast ordered it, O Lord, and so it is, that the ill-controlled mind be a torment and pain to itself”’—Jussisti, Domine, et sic est, ut poena sua sibi sit omnis animus inordinatus. The interior revolt of appetite against reason and of reason against God causes in man great torment and restlessness. And so it is in general in all things; for what thing is there in the world that, being out of order, is not naturally restless and discontented? What pains are caused by a dislocated bone! What violence is suffered by the element out of its natural place! But it being a thing so proper and natural to a reasonable man to live according to reason, how can it be but that his very nature shall protest, and his own conscience bark, when he lives in a disorderly and unreasonable way? Very well did holy Job say: Who hath ever resisted God, and lived at peace? (Job ix. 4). There is no peace or rest to be had by living at that rate. And so St. John in the Apocalypse says: They who adored the beast found no joy day or night (Apoc. xiv. 11). If you serve this beast of your flesh and sensuality, you will never know ease or rest.

Medical men in the world say that the health and good disposition of the body is in the due tempering and proportion of the humors and that, when they are out of that proportion and temperament which it is natural for them to have, sicknesses and pains are caused; and when they are well attempered and proportioned, there is health, and they cause outwardly cheerfulness and bodily vigor. So the health and good disposition of our soul consist in the proportion and moderation of the passions, which are its humors. When they are not so tempered and mortified, they cause spiritual sicknesses. When they are so, there are in the soul health and good dispostion, producing in him who has them great cheerfulness and tranquillity. Further, they say, and say well, that the passions in our heart are like winds at sea, for that as the winds toss and disturb the sea, so the passions toss and disturb the heart with their disorderly cravings and motions. Now there rises the passion of anger to trouble and disturb us; now the wind of pride and vainglory blows; now impatience carries us away, now envy. Therefore the Prophet Isaias said: The wicked are as a troubled sea that cannot rest (Isaias lvii. 20). Thus, if you succeed in commanding the winds of your passions and appetites and laying them to rest, mortifying and moderating them by reason, you will have great tranquillity and peace; but while you do not attend to this, you will be in a storm.

That it may be more clearly seen that greater trouble and a heavier cross await him who shuns mortification than him who mortifies himself, let us descend to particular cases of daily experience. See how you are when you have let the passion of anger or impatience have its way, and you have spoken a passionate word to your brother or done something else against good order and edification—what sadness, what disquiet, what disturbance and regret you feel within you. Tell me if the pain and trouble you feel over that are not greater than what you could have felt in mortifying yourself. There is no doubt about that.

See the alarms and perturbations that an unmortified religious feels, one who is not indifferent and resigned for anything and everything that obedience may choose to do with him. One only thing to which he has a repugnance is enough to make him walk in perpetual pain and distress, because that is the thing that is ever intruding upon him and taking the first place in his thoughts. And though it has never crossed the mind of superiors to employ him for that purpose, yet after all it is an order that might be and often is given, and he does not know but what it will be; he lives in continual alarm and anxiety about their commanding him that. When one has a sore on his foot, he thinks that everyone he meets is going to tread on him there; so the unmortified man thinks that they are going to hit upon his sore point. But the mortified man, who is indifferent and resigned for all, is always content and joyful and has nothing to fear.

Again, consider the pain and disappointment that rankles in the heart of the proud man when he sees himself thrust into a corner and forgotten, no account made of him, no posts of distinction and honor, such as he would desire, entrusted to him. See again the fear and anxiety that he is in when such things are entrusted to him and he is charged with some public performance, thinking how he is to succeed and whether perchance he may not incur disgrace where he thought to gain honor. On every side his pride afflicts and torments him—miserable state! And so it is generally in all other things. Your passions are your torturers and executioners, tormenting you perpetually so long as you make no effort to mortify them. And this is the truth, be your desire accomplished or not. So long as it is not accomplished, this desire deferred afflicts and wearies his soul; hope deferred afflicteth the soul (Prov. xiii. 12) ; and when his desire comes to be accomplished and he gets his own way, that very having it is again a pain and torment. “Woe to me! I am only having my own way, I have carried my point at last. I get no merit for this since I do it for my own satisfaction and because I wanted it.” All is turned into vinegar.

Add to this the remorse of conscience that he carries with him who makes no effort to mortify himself and do his duty. For what contentment can a religious find, who came into religion for no other end than to study his spiritual improvement and seek perfection, and is doing nothing of the sort? His life must be one of pain and grief. And the same we may say of every man, according to his state, when he is not doing his duty. When we are not doing our duty, the gnawing worm of conscience that we carry within us continually pricks us with remorse and gnaws our vitals. Father Master Avila says very well: “Place on one side of the scale the afflictions which he may undergo who is diligent, lives a fervent life, and studies his own mortification, and in the other what the tepid and unmortified religious suffers because he has no mind to undergo those other sufferings, and you will find the one a thousand times greater than the other.”

It is a wonderful thing that he finds more pleasure and satisfaction who serves the Lord with diligence in watching, and praying, and all other hardship and mortification that come in his way, than another who is tepid and lax does in talk and pastime, self-indulgence, and doing his own will. The tepid man laughs outwardly and gnaws his heart within; the just and upright man weeps, but has joy in his heart. The path of the tepid and lazy, says the Wise Man (Prov. xv. 19), is like walking on thorns; so God says by the Prophet Osee: I will hedge in thy way with thorns (Osee ii. 6). In those pleasures God has put sad stings of remorse of conscience; in those pastimes, bitterness; and in doing one’s own will, pain and torment. There the tepid and lazy man finds thorns that prick and pierce his heart. But the way of the just is smooth and without stumblingblock (Prov. xv. 19). Oh, the peace and contentment of the good religious, the mortified man, who goes steadily about the work of his spiritual progress, doing what a good religious ought to do! There is no contentment to equal his. Every day we experience this, that, when we vigorously go about the service of God, we are very cheerful and content; but when we grow tepid and careless, then we are sad and disconsolate; and this is often the cause of our fits of sadness and despondency, as we shall say in its place. Thus by shunning smaller troubles one comes to fall into others greater. Whoso feareth the hoarfrost, the snow shall fall upon him (Job vi. 16). You were saying that it was to avoid trouble that you omitted to mortify yourself. I say that if for no other reason, for this very reason you ought to contrive to mortify yourself to live in peace and quiet— how much the more so when mortification brings so many other advantages!