Of Another Very Ordinary Root of Sadness, Which Is the Not Going on As We Should Do in the Service of God; and of the Great Cheerfulness That Comes of a Good Conscience

ONE of the chief causes and origins of fits of sadness and melancholy not uncommonly is a man’s not dealing straight with God, and not doing what he ought according to his state and profession. We see by experience, and everyone has the experience within himself, that, when we live in fervor and care for our spiritual advancement, we live such cheerful and happy lives as to overflow with delight; and on the other hand, when we are not doing as we ought, we are sad and disconsolate. A wicked heart shall yield sadness, a wicked heart shall be weighed down with griefs, says the Wise Man (Ecclus. iii. 29; xxxvi. 22). It is the property and natural working of evil and sin to cause sadness and grief in the soul. This property of sin God announced to Cain when he sinned; for as soon as he began to envy his brother Abel, Holy Writ says: Cain became exceeding angry, and his face fell (Gen. iv. 5). He carried within him such anger and inward rage that it made him go quite gloomy and crestfallen, showing plainly in his countenance the bitterness and inward sadness of his soul. And God asked him: What is the reason that thou walkest thus troubled, sad and crestfallen? And as Cain gave no answer, God answered for him, that this is the natural result of sin, saying: Dost thou not well know, that if thou dost right, thou shalt reap satisfaction and joy? And so another reading has it: If thow dost right, thow shalt lift up thy face, that is, be cheerful: But if thou dost ill, thy sin shall at once be at thy gate, knocking to come in to torment thee (Gen. iv. 7). And at once also it shall appear in thee externally by the cast of thy countenance. As virtue, because it is according to reason, naturally causes great cheerfulness in the heart, so vice and sin naturally cause great sadness, the man fighting against himself and against the natural dictate of his reason, and upon that the worm of conscience is there within him, gnawing and preying upon his vitals and making him cry out.

St. Bernard says: “There is no punishment greater or more severe than a bad conscience. For, though other people see not your faults and know them not, it is enough that you know them: there is the witness that is ever accusing and tormenting you; you cannot hide yourself nor escape from yourself.” Whatever you do and whatever amusements and recreations you seek, you cannot get rid of the remorse and outcries of your conscience. So that philosopher [Seneca] said that the greatest punishment that can be awarded to a fault is the having committed it, for the great torment wherewith a man’s own conscience is tormented when he does wrong. Plutarch compares this pain to the heat and cold of a fever. He says that, as sick people receive more pain from the shivering and burning that comes of their illness than healthy persons in ordinary life do from the cold and heat that is due to the weather, so the accesses of sadness and melancholy that come of our own faults and the consequent remorse of our conscience cause much greater pain and torment than what comes of accidental mishaps and disasters, but without fault of ours. And this particularly holds good of one who has already begun to taste the sweetness of God and led a good life for some time in fervor and diligence, and afterwards comes to fall away and lead a tepid life; for to fall into poverty after having been rich is a sadder and more distressing existence than that of those who never have known what riches were. When you remember how in bygone days you led a devout life and were careful to serve God, and the favors that the Lord then did you, and now you see yourself fallen off from all that, it is inevitable that acute feelings must be aroused and smite the heart.

If, then, you wish to banish sadness from you and live ever happy and cheerful, the way is to live well and do your duty according to your state of life. So says St. Bernard: “Would you never be sad? Live well”—Vis nunquam esse tristis? Bene vive. Enter into yourself and give up the faults that are the cause of this sadness, and so it will cease and cheerfulness will come instead. “A good life is always accompanied with joy and cheerfulness, and a bad life with pain and torment’”—Bona vita semper gaudium habet, conscientia rea semper in poena est (St. Bernard). As there is no greater pain and torment than the remorse and outcries of a bad conscience, so there is no greater satisfaction and joy in this life than the testimony of a good conscience. There is no delight to surpass joy of heart, Says the Wise Man (Ecclus. xxx. 16). A mind void of care is as a continual feast (Prov. xv.15). Asa guest at a banquet is delighted with the variety of dishes and the presence of his fellow guests, so the servant of God who does his duty is delighted with the testimony of a good con- Science and with the sweet perfume of the presence of God, of which he has great assurances and conjectures in his soul, according to that saying of St. John: If our heart reprehendeth us not, we may approach God with confidence (I John iii. 21). And the Apostle St. Paul says that a good conscience is a paradise and a glory and a bliss upon earth. This is our glory, the testimony of our conscience (II Cor. i. 12). St. Chrysostom says that a good conscience, arising from a good life, drives away and scatters all darkness and bitterness of heart as the sun at his rising drives away and scatters all dark clouds. So is all sorrow, falling on a good conscience, extinguished as a spark of fire falling on a deep lake. St. Augustine adds that, as honey is not only sweet itself, but sweetens even disagreeable things with which it is mixed, so a good conscience is not only joyous and pleasant in itself, but yields joy in the midst of afflictions and renders them sweet and palatable, according to the saying of the prophet: The judgments of God, which are His holy commandments and the fulfilment of His law, are sweeter than the honeycomb (Psalm xviii. 10-11). Not only is the service of God sweet in itself, but further it sweetens all the afflictions and troubles of this life.

We read in Church histories that the persecutors of the faith did quite a new thing, of which there was no memory of its ever being done in past times. It was that all those who, on their being called up and put to torture, had denied the faith, they put in prison along with the holy martyrs. And that their punishment might be without comfort, they were no longer accused as Christians, but as murderers and malefactors. Thereupon was noticed the difference between the one set of prisoners and the other in mien and countenance. The saints came into court and to torture rejoicing, with an indescribable look of God in their faces; their fetters adorned them like collars of pearls, and from the filth of their prison they come out breathing a sweet odor to Christ and His angels and to themselves, as if they had not been in prisons but in pleasure grounds. The others came out sad, with heads down, horrible to look at and hideous beyond all foulness. To the one their own conscience was a vexation and a torment ruder than the irons and chains and stench of the prison; to the others their good conscience and the hope of rest and glory was an alleviation of their pains and a refreshment. This is the ordinary experience of good men. So great is the joy of a good conscience that often, when a good man finds himself in sorrow and affliction, and, turning his eyes in all directions, sees nothing to give him comfort, then when he turns them within and sees the peace of his conscience and the testimony that it bears him, he finds consolation and strength, because he knows that all the rest, come what may, neither makes nor mars his main interest, but only that.

Hence follows something that is very consoling; for if a good conscience, standing well with God, is a cause of cheerfulness, so also such spiritual cheerfulness will be a great sign and indication of a man’s having a good conscience and standing well with God, and being in His grace and friendship, for the cause is known by the effect. And so St. Bonaventure observes: “Spiritual joy is a great sign of the indwelling of God in a soul that is in His grace and love.” Light is risen for the just, and joy for the right of heart (Psalm xcvi. 12), while darkness, gloom, and sadness are for the wicked. The wicked walk in darkness (Psalm Ixxxi. 5). Their ways are full of wreckage and misfortune, but the way of peace they have not known (Psalm xiii. 3). Thus one of the chief reasons why the blessed St. Francis desired to see this spiritual joy in his religious was that it was a sign of the indwelling of God in them, and that they were in His grace and friendship. The fruit of the Spirit is joy, says St. Paul (Gal. v. 22). This spiritual joy, which rises and springs as from a fountain from cleanness of heart and purity of life, is a fruit of the Holy Ghost, and so is a sign of His indwelling there. And so much did St. Francis rejoice at seeing this cheerfulness in his religious that he used to say: “If at any time the devil tempts me with heaviness of heart and sadness, I set myself to look and consider the cheerfulness of my friars and companions, and at once I am freed from the temptation at the sight as if I had seen angels.” To see the joy of the servants of God, who are in His grace and friendship, is like seeing angels on earth, according to that word of Scripture: J have seen thee looking as an angel of God (Esther xv. 16). Thou art goodly in mine eyes as an angel of God (1 Kings oc).