That None Should Omit Manifesting Things because They Look Trifling

THERE is another ground which the devil is wont to allege, to hinder some people from having recourse to their superior, which is telling them that there is nothing in it, and that there is no need for having recourse to the superior about childish trifles, and that you should be ashamed to go to him over such a little bit of a thing as that. To this I say, in the first place, that anyone aiming at perfection should not wait for a thing to be grave, or a matter of necessity and obligation, but should always strive after that which is better and more perfect; so of anything, however small it be, he should take account and report it to the superior, for that is the meaning of aiming at perfection. Now, one of the things that gives great edification is having recourse to the superior on very minute grounds; and the more ancient and learned a man is, the greater the edification, because this is making oneself a child and a little one for Christ.

In the second place, I say that sometimes the thing is not so small as one thinks. It is the shame and repugnance that you feel to mention it that cause you to go in quest of reasons to make light of it, and persuade yourself that it is of no consequence, that so you may not tell it. So it often happens in confession, when one is ashamed to tell a piece of vulgarity and a mere nothing. At once the devil comes in, availing himself of this natural shame and repugnance that you feel, and persuading you that this is no sin, or at least, no mortal sin, and that you are not bound to confess it. Oh, how many has the devil deceived in this way, and made them omit to confess necessary matter, and so come to make bad confessions and Communions! The mere feeling of repugnance and difficulty in disclosing and manifesting a thing to the superior ought to be enough to arouse your suspicions, and make you understand that it is proper to tell it. So Cassian says that this is one of the clearest signs by which you can understand that a thing is bad and a temptation of the devil; and he adds that this was the common opinion of the Fathers. When evil is done we at once seek to cover it up. When one is anxious to cloak a thing over, there is grievous suspicion of the business’ not being good. He that doth evil escheweth the light (John iii. 26).

In the third place, I say that, though the matter be trifling at present, yet a little thing, by being covered up, is apt to become great. So it is well to declare it while it is a little thing, that it may be remedied in time, the remedy then being easy, while afterwards it is apt to become difficult. St. John Climacus says that, as birds’ eggs, if covered and warmed under the wings of the mother or under dung, little by little are hatched and come to receive life and produce other birds, so do evil thoughts, when they are hidden in the heart, unrevealed to anyone who can cure them, come to the light and are put in execution.

There is another idea also which the devil is apt to put before some minds, to keep them from having recourse to the superior. It is the idea that they will be burdensome and tire him out with these things; and so, not to be tiresome and burdensome, they omit having recourse to him. This is a great mistake; for this is the office of the superior, and one of the main things that he has to do is this. Thus you do great wrong to your superior in judging that he is bored and annoyed over having to do a thing which is so essential and necessary a part of his office. Rather he rejoices greatly in being occupied with a thing so essential as this, on which the spiritual advancement of his subjects So greatly depends, as we have said above in a similar case.

Cassian tells a story of what happened to Abbot Serapion when he was a youth, and the abbot used often afterwards to relate it to his religious, to encourage them to give an account of all their affairs to the superior. When I was a novice, he said, I was much tempted to gluttony. I seemed never to get enough; and when I had dined with the Abbot Thomas, who was my superior, every day when we arose from table I secreted in the fold of my garment a little loaf, which I ate afterwards in the evening without his knowing. Thus overcome by gluttony, I committed that theft and act of self-indulgence every day; and though, when I had done eating, I was always seized with remorse, so great that the torment and pain of it was considerably greater than the pleasure I had got by eating, nevertheless, he said, the temptation had got such a hold on me that I did the same over again the next day, and stole another little loaf, and ate it secretly, and did not dare to tell this temptation to the superior. This went on till the Lord in His mercy was pleased to deliver me from the servitude and captivity in which I was in the following manner. Some monks happened to come to visit the holy Abbot Thomas, and after dinner they began talking of spiritual things, as their custom was. It happened that the old man, in answer to their inquiries, spoke of the vice of gluttony and of the force that temptations had when they were kept secret. And as I was suffering from great remorse of conscience, I thought that all this was said for my benefit, and that God must have revealed my temptation and fault to the holy abbot. So, struck with terror at the force of his words, I began first of all to weep secretly with myself; then, as the feeling of compunction grew, I could not contain myself any longer, but broke out into loud bursts of weeping and sobbing, and there before the whole company I drew out from my bosom the little loaf that I had stolen and hidden that very day; and, prostrate on the ground, I asked pardon and penance, and publicly declared my temptation and how, overcome by it, Ihad done that every day. Then the holy old man began to console and encourage me, saying: “Have great confidence, my son, that thy confession, and this so heroic act that thou hast done in manifesting and declaring here publicly before all thy temptation and fault, has delivered thee from this captivity and slavery. Today thou hast overcome the devil, and gained a decisive victory over him who had been victorious over thee. Understand that the Lord permitted thee to be so far captured and subjected by this temptation because thou didst hide it; and hold for certain, now that thou hast manifested it, that the devil will no longer lord it over thee, but that old serpent will be gone at once, being unable to bear the light.” Hardly had the holy abbot done saying these words, when there came out, he said, from my bosom something like a flash of lightning or a lighted torch, which filled the whole cell with so abominable and hellish a stench that hardly anyone could stay there. Then the holy old man returned to his subject and said: “Thou seest here, my son, how the Lord has been pleased to show by deed what I have said to thee in word. With thine own eyes thou hast seen the devil come out and fly from thee by virtue of thy confession, since he could not brook the light and the showing up of his intricate and mischievous lies. So have no fear of his daring to attack thee again.” And so it was, for from that hour I have never again had that temptation, nor has anything of it ever recurred to my memory.