13. To Gilbert

Brother Anselm to his master, brother, friend, Gilbert: the friend of his beloved one: that which writing cannot express.

Sweet are to me, dearest friend, the proofs of thy affection: but they can in nowise relieve my heart, deprived of thee, from the longing for thy beloved self. Assuredly, wert thou to send every aromatic scent, all glittering metals, every precious stone, all kinds of woven beauty, it would reject them; nay, my heart could never be healed of its wound but by receiving the other half of itself which has been torn away from it. Witness the grief of my heart when thinking thereon; the tears which dim my eyes and fall down my face and on my fingers as I write. And indeed thou knowest as myself my love towards thee, but certainly I was ignorant of it. He who separated us from one another, He has taught me how much I loved thee: truly that man has no knowledge of good or evil who docs not experience both. For never having made trial of thine absence I was unaware how sweet it was to me to be with, and how bitter to be without, thee. But thou hast in consequence of our separation another present with thee whom thou lovest not less, but more; whilst thou art removed, thou I say from me art removed, and no one is given me in thy place. Since, then, thou art rejoicing in thy consolation, for the wound is gaping in my soul only, perchance they who are enjoying thy society are offended at my saying this to thee. But if they rejoice while keeping that which they wished for, why should they forbid him to lament who has not that which still he loves? They will excuse me, seeing me in themselves. Moreover, can you understand how compassionately, how feelingly, they can do this, and whence my grief can be lessened, which no one will console who can, and no one can who would. But may He who can do all that He wills, so comfort me as that He may sadden no one; so may He sadden no one, as that He may preserve for thee the love everywhere felt, unimpaired.