76. To a Certain Lady

Anselm, by the ordinance of God Archbishop of Canterbury, to a certain lady: mayst thou despise the world, not Christ, and love Christ more than the world.

Most gladly would I speak with thee face to face, if I could, sister dearly loved in the Lord, for the charity whereby I desire all men to be saved and the office laid upon me, both require me to love thee with brotherly and fatherly affection, and through that love to have a care as to thy soul's salvation. But since no opportunity can occur for our conversing together, a necessity is laid upon me of writing what I think of thee and what I want of thee.

I adjure thee therefore not to despise the love where with, on account of God and the honour of God, and for thy salvation, I love thee, nor to reject my advice. Now if thou wilt choose to assent to what I say, be sure that thou wilt in the end be very glad, and there will be joy over thee among the angels of God. But if thou wilt not, know that thou wilt be very sorry indeed and wilt be without excuse in the strict judgment of God. I hear, my sister, that long ago thou didst wear the habit of holy religion; how thou didst leave it off, what thou hast suffered, what done, is no secret but very well known.

Think now therefore, dearly beloved, how distant are human embraces and carnal pleasure, from the embrace of Christ and the happiness of chastity and purity of heart. I do not mean the personal embrace of Christ, but that union which takes place through love and longing for Him in the soul that lives near Him in a good conscience. Think, I say, what the difference is between these two pleasures; I am not now speaking of lawful marriage. Think, I say, how great is the purity of spiritual, how great the impurity of carnal pleasure; what the spiritual promises, and the carnal threatens; how great in the spiritual is the hope and how enjoyable the expectation of Christ, how great even in this world is its security and comfort; how great in the carnal the fear of God's judgments, how great its shame even in this present life. Reflect what it is to reject Christ thy spouse promising thee the dowry of His heavenly kingdom, and to prefer a mortal man giving and promising corruption and contemptible things alone, to the Son of God, the King of kings. Of a surety that King of kings desired thy beauty, as that of a lawful spouse.

But after what manner he (whom thou knowest), To a Certain Lady. 229 grasped at the beauty of thy outward form, how shall I tell? high-born woman, how can I say it? A spouse of God, a virgin, thou wert chosen; and set apart to wear the dress and live the life devoted to God. What can I say thou art now, my daughter? God knoweth. I say not this to enjoy thy confusion, but that God may joy, and the angels rejoice with Him over thy conversion and loving penitence. What then can I call thee? If I say it not, thou wilt perhaps give no heed, if I do, perchance thou wilt be angry. — Once chosen, and sealed, and espoused by God, what art thou become? Let thy nobility be ashamed of what thou dost blush to hear, and I because of thy noble birth and my own affection am ashamed to say. Behold, dear daughter, if thou dost but set these things fully before thee, what grief should be in thy heart for thy so great and so grievous fall? But if thou dost bitterly grieve, I grieving with thee shall greatly rejoice; if however thou sorrowest not, I have no cause for joy but grieve much the more. For if thou dost grieve, I still hope for thy salvation; if however thou hast no sorrow, what can I look for but thy condemnation?

For it is impossible for thee by any means to be saved, unless thou shalt return to thy rejected habit and thy vow. For although thou wast not consecrated by the bishop, nor didst thou read thy profession before him, yet this was by itself a clear and undeniable profession, in that thou both in public and private didst wear the habit belonging to the holy life, whereby thou didst declare thyself to all who saw thee, to be dedicated to God, no less than by reading thy profession. For before there was the now customary profession of the monastic vow, or the consecration, many thousand human beings of both sexes by their dress alone declaring themselves to be under the vow, followed on to blessedness and a crown. And any who then rejected the habit assumed without that profession and consecration were considered as apostates. Thou art therefore without excuse if thou desert the holy vow which thou didst long ago profess by thy habit and mode of life, although thou didst not read the now usual profession and wert not consecrated by the bishop. Assuredly, dearest daughter, the Lord is still waiting for thee, thy Creator and Redeemer: the King who desired thy beauty, that He might be thy lawful spouse, still waits for thee and calls thee back, that thou mayst be His true spouse, and if not a virgin yet, at least, chaste. For we know of several holy women who after the loss of their virginity pleased God and were nearer to Him by penitence in chastity than several others, although holy, in virginity.

Return therefore, Christian woman, return into thine heart, and think whom thou shouldst rather love, to whom the rather cling; whether to Him who chose thee for such an honourable position, and choosing called thee, and gave thee the habit befitting His bride, and still although spurned and rejected, waits for thee and calls thee back; or him through whom, to say the least, thou hast fallen down from such exaltation to where thou now seest thyself thrown? particularly when he now already, as I think, despises thee, or doubtless will despise and desert thee. And may you so mutually spurn each other as that God may not spurn you; may you so desert each other as that God may not desert you; may you so reject each other, as that God may not drive you far from His face; so may you turn away from each other as that you may turn to God. Of a certainty far better and more honourable is it both for him and for thee that thou be spurned by him than that he should hold fast to thee, for so long as he clings to thee, there is no doubt (to say nothing about him) thou wilt be rejected by God; and if, rejected by him, thou reject him for God's sake, thou wilt, so far from being rejected by God, be received and loved by Him, as one redeemed by His own blood. Turn, oh daughter whose salvation I yearn for, turn the eye of thy mind towards the clemency of Him who being rejected calls back thee who hast spurned Him, that He may bring thee to His royal couch, not an earthly one, but a heavenly. Think, and let thine heart be shattered to pieces, sorrow vehemently over thy fall. Cast aside and tread under foot the secular dress thou hast assumed, and resume the habit of a spouse of Christ which thou didst throw off. For Christ will in nowise know or receive thee, except in that habit whereby He marked thee for Himself and by which thou hast in public and in private shown thyself to be His spouse. In that habit return thou into His favour again. Present thy self before Him while there is time. Accuse thine own conscience, bathe with tears thy sin. Pray to Him unweariedly, cling to Him inseparably: He is merciful. He will not reject thee; but rather, rejoicing at thy return, will tenderly receive thee. If thou doest this, there will be joy over thee in heaven and in earth among all holy angels and men who know it. But if thou scornest to do this, all will be against thee, and I and the Church of God shall act as in such a case we know how to act. May Almighty God visit thine heart and pour into it His love, dearest daughter.