Lecture 1 — Obedience of children

^6:1^ Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is just. [n. 337]

^6:2^ Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise: [n. 338]

^6:3^ That it may be well with you, and you may live long upon the earth. [n. 340]

^6:4^ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger: but bring them up in the discipline and correction of the Lord. [n. 342]

336. He had previously given advice to husband and wife which is one relationship in the family. Now he cautions the fathers and children, which is the home’s second relationship:

first, he mentions how the children should behave toward their parents;

second, how, conversely, fathers should be related to their children, at do not provoke.

The first has two sections: first, he sets down the warning;

second, he gives the reason, at for this is just.

337. He begins, children, obey your parents. Note here that fathers have a natural duty to instruct their children in moral conduct. The children, on the other hand, have a natural duty, while their parents are instructing them, to be obedient to them—as the sick are to obey doctors. Hence the proper characteristic of children is obedience. Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord (Col 3:20). He says in the Lord because neither parents, nor anyone else, ought to be obeyed in what is contrary to God. It is necessary to obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).

The authoritative text previously brought forward is to be explained in this way also. If any man come to me, and hate not his father and mother . . . he cannot be my disciple (Luke 14:26) is to be understood insofar as they are against God.

338. The reason he gives for this arises from two sources: from justice and from a utility. That it is just is evident and proved from the fact that the divine law commands only what is just. The justices of the Lord are right (Ps 19:8). And the divine law commands: honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you (Exod 20:12; Deut 5:16). He who fears the Lord honors his parents and will serve them as his masters that brought him into the world (Sir 3:8). Honor implies a manifestation of reverence to those who are over us; and since we have parents over us, the word ‘honor’ is used. Hence he affirms: **for this is just, honor your father and your mother. He who honors his father shall enjoy a long life; and he who obeys his father shall be a comfort to his mother (Sir 3:7). That children ought to honor their parents is to be understood in three ways. They must venerate them as elders; show obedience to them as teachers; and give them sustenance as the ones who had nourished them when they were strong.

339. He goes on to indicate the dignity of this precept, saying which is the first commandment. On the contrary, the first commandment is that the one God must be worshipped.

I reply. The commandments were contained on two tablets. The first contained those whose reference was to God; the second those which referred to one’s neighbors. On this second tablet the first commandment is to honor one’s parents. And this is for two reasons. First, it is the only affirmative precept on the second tablet since it is natural for us to serve our parents, which is not true of our other fellow men, and hence there is no other affirmative command. Rather, nature dictates that a man should not harm his neighbors, and hence this is forbidden. Therefore, the first possesses a prior and greater obligation and so is the first.

The second reason is that God must be honored as the source of our existence, and our parents also as the source of our existence. The sixth book of the Ethics points out that we have three things from our parents: existence, life and education. Thus it is fitting that after the commandments related to God, the first would be in reference to our parents.

340. Or, first may refer to the promise which is annexed to this one only. There are two reasons for this. One is that men, in doing things for others, seek their own good; and they can expect no advantage from parents who have already grown old, unless a reward come from God.

The second reason is lest anyone imagine that honoring one’s parents was not meritorious because it is natural; on this account he adds that you may live long upon the earth. In the Old Testament temporal promises were pledged because the people then were immature and hence were graciously taught as children under a pedagogue. Nevertheless, in those little gifts which were suited to a young people, great spiritual favors were symbolized. Therefore this text can refer, according to its literal meaning, to temporal goods; which is why he says with a promise, that it may be well with you, that is, that you may abound in the promised benefits. For he who is grateful in receiving lesser favors deserves to receive greater ones. Now we have the greatest of benefits from our parents: existence, nourishment, and education. Therefore, when anyone is grateful for these, he becomes worthy to receive greater. Thus he remarks that it may be well with you. For, godliness is profitable to all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come (1 Tim 4:8). He joins and you may live long upon the earth as though in addition to the grace and favor of life which you enjoy from your parents. Length of days is in her right hand: and in her left hand riches and glory (Prov 3:16).

341. Yet it is objected: many who are devoted to their parents die quickly.

Therefore it must be realized that these temporal goods are not absolute except insofar as they are related to spiritual benefits. They are good for a man to the degree that he is aided by them towards spiritual realities. If it is an obstacle to virtue, fortune must not be termed good. Hence, a long life is good in the measure that it is related to the service of God. It is sometimes not given lest it thwart this service. He was taken away lest wickedness should alter his understanding, or deceit beguile his soul (Wis 4:11).

Or, he could be referring to a spiritual meaning, that you may live long in the land of the living. Your good Spirit shall lead me into the right land; for your name’s sake, O Lord, quicken me (Ps 143:10–11).

342. After he has instructed the children, he counsels the parents. Regarding which he makes two points: first, he places one restriction; second, he gives an incentive, at but bring them up.

When he says and you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, it is not that the fathers must give in to their will in all matters.

Here it must be noted that the authority of a father with respect to his child is different from that of a master with respect to his servant. For the master employs his servant to his own advantage, but the father manages his child for the child’s advantage. It is necessary that fathers educate their children for the children’s own good; not, however, by excessively restricting or subjecting them. Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged (Col 3:21). Because such provocation does not inspire them to good.

How then should they? He adds but bring them up in the discipline of spankings and the correction of words. That is, correct and educate them that they might be of service to the Lord. Or, in the discipline may designate that they should encourage them to do good, and correction to restrain them from evils.