Chapter XI. How the Pontiff is to examine his Conscience

Thou must proceed with great caution, therefore, in this consideration of thyself, and act with the most perfect honesty, so that thou mayest neither attribute to thyself more than is due to thee, nor spare thyself more than is right. But thou mayest attribute to thyself overmuch, not only by pretending to the good which thou hast not but also by appropriating the good which thou hast. So be careful to distinguish what thou art of thyself from what thou art by the grace of God, and let there be no guile in thy spirit (Ps. xxxi. 2). But guile there will be, unless, making a faithful division, thou renderest to God without fraud the things that are God's (Matt. xxii. 21) and to thyself what is thine. Thou art persuaded, I doubt not, that whatever thou hast of evil is thine own produce, and that all thy good is from the Lord.

But whilst considering what manner of man thou art now, it will evidently be of advantage to recall to mind what thy dispositions were formerly. Thy present state of soul ought to be compared with thy past. Thou must examine and see whether thou hast made progress in virtue, in wisdom, in understanding, in sweetness of manners, or whether (which God forbid !) there has been some falling off in any of these respects. Consider whether thou art now more patient than thou wert wont to be, or more impatient ; whether more meek or more irritable ; more humble or more arrogant ; more austere or more affable ; more placable or more unrelenting ; more timid or more magnanimous ; more reserved or more frivolous ; more presumptuous or more cautious. How extensive a field for self-examination hast thou here pointed out to thee ! I have only touched on a few items, as one offering a few seeds ; not, however, as sowing them myself, but as presenting the seed to the sower. It is necessary that thou shouldst ascertain what thy zeal is, and what thy clemency, what thy discretion also, which is the regulator of these two other virtues ; that is to say, thou must reflect upon thy manner of condoning and upon thy manner of avenging injuries, and find out how far thou dost observe propriety in both, with regard to measure, place, and time. It is absolutely essential to take account of these three circumstances in the exercise of clemency and zeal, which without them, or any one of them, would cease to be virtues at all. For it is not their own nature that elevates such moral qualities to the dignity of virtues, but the proper use that is made of them. In themselves, as thou knowest, they are indifferent, neither good nor evil. It is for thee to make them either vices, by misusing and confounding them ; or virtues, by employing them well and orderly. When the eye of discretion happens to beclouded, they are wont to usurp each other's place and to occupy each other's territory. Now there are two causes which can cloud discretion's eye, namely, anger and inordinate affection. The latter of these enervates the arm of justice, whilst the former makes it fall with precipitation. Is it not manifest, therefore, that the one is a danger to the piety of clemency, and the other to the rectitude of zeal ? When the " eye is troubled through indignation " (Ps. vi. 8), it can gaze upon nothing with clemency ; nor can it survey anything righteously when suffused with the melting softness of womanly affection. Thou shalt not be guiltless, if either thou punishest him who ought to be spared, or if thou sparest him | who deserves to be punished.