Chapter III. That by the Voice of God the reasonable part of the Soul is made able to see, reprove, distinguish, and discern all its own miseries

Nor must you hope to hear from me what Reason distinguishes, discerns, and reprehends in your Memory. Apply thy hearing, turn the eyes of thy heart to within, and thou shalt learn by thy own experience what is done there. For no body knows what things are in man, but the Spirit of man which is in him. If Pride, if Envy, if Covetousness, if Ambition, or any such Plague lie hidden there, it will hardly escape this examen. If Fornication, if Theft, if Cruelty, if any Deceit, or any other Fault shall have been committed, the Criminal will not be able to hide himself from this Judg within, nor will he deny it before him. For all that itch of unlawful delight, and all the enticing pleasure, was soon ended; but it imprinted certain bitter marks in the memory, it left behind it foul footsteps. For into that Repository, as into a Sink, all the abomination ran, all the filth flowed. A large Volume, in which all thinge are written, and that with the Pen of truth: now the belly is griped with bitterness, although it seemed to have delighted the miserable jaws, in its short passage, with a certain frivolous sweetness. Miserable man that I am, grieved for my belly; I am grieved for my belly. And why should I not be pained for the belly of my memory, into which such a deal of filth hath been cast? My Brethren, who of us, when he takes notice that the garment which he wears, is all over bedawbed with foul spattle, and defiled with filthy ordure, does not vehemently abhor it, does not presently put it off, does not with indignation cast it away from him? wherefore he that discovers not his Garment, but himself within, under his garment, to be in such a manner defiled. ought so much the more to grieve, and be in consternation, by how much neerer he carries about him what he abhors. For the defiled Soul cannot so cast away it self, as it can its bespotted Coat. In fine, who is there amongst us of so great patience and vertue, that if perhaps (as we read concerning Mary the Sister of Moses) he should see his flesh by a certain leprosy on the sudden white with an ill whiteness, should be able to bear it with an equal mind, and give his Creator thanks? Now what is this flesh of ours but a certain rotten Coat with which we are clothed? Or what is this bodily leprosy to be looked upon by the Elect, but as the Rod of our Father's correction, and the purgation of our Heart? But there, there is vehement tribulation, and most just cause of grief, when a Sinner awaked out of the sleep of his miserable pleasure, shall begin to deprehend and see that internal leprosy which he has got to himself with much study and labour. For no body hates his own flesh, much less can the Soul hate it self.