Letter CCLXXXIX. To the Queen of Jerusalem

(Circa A.I). 1153.)

Bernard instructs her how she should behave if she would be an honourable widow before God and queen before men.

To his beloved daughter in Christ, MlLLSENDLS,¹ Queen of Jerusalem, BERNARD, called Abbot of Clairvaux, wishes mercy from God our Saviour.

1. I wonder why I have not seen any letter from you for so long a time, and have not had your usual salutations. I cannot forget your old affection for me, which I have ofttimes put to the proof. I have heard, I confess, some evil reports of you; and although I do not altogether believe them, yet I am grieved that, whether they are true or false, your good fame should be so compromised. But my dear Uncle Andrew has written, and I cannot disbelieve him in anything; he gives me a better account of you; he says how peaceably and meekly you bear yourself, how wisely you rule yourself and yours by the advice of wise men, how you love the brethren of the Temple, and cherish them, with what foresight and wisdom, according to the measure given you by God, you meet with sound counsels and aids the dangers threatening the Holy Land. These are the actions that become a brave woman, a lowly widow, an exalted queen. For though you are a queen, it is no disgrace to be a widow, and if you had wished it you would not be one. I think that it is your glory, especially among Christians, to live no less as a widow than a queen. One is of succession, the other of virtue; one of birth, the other of the gift of God; that came by good fortune, this by a brave spirit. The honour is twofold, one according to the world, the other according to God, but each from God. Nor let the honour of widowhood seem to you small, about which the Apostle says, Honour widows which are widows indeed (1 Tim. v. 3).

2. You certainly have before you a second familiar piece of advice in the wholesome words of the Apostle, who teaches you to "provide things honest not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of men" (2 Cor. viii. 21). In the sight of God, as a widow; in the sight of men, as a queen. Recollect that you are a queen, and that your good deeds cannot lie in obscurity under a bushel. They are on a candlestick that they may be seen of all. Recollect that you are a widow, and that you have not now to please your husband, but to please God alone. Happy are you if you place your Saviour as a wall before you for a guard to your conscience, and a bulwark to repel infamy. Happy, I say, if like one desolate and a widow you entrust yourself wholly to God, for Him to rule you. Else, if you are not well ruled you do not rule well. The Queen of the South came to hear the wisdom of Solomon, that she might learn to be ruled, and so to rule. And behold! a Greater than Solomon is here (S. Matt. xii. 42). I speak of Jesus, and Him crucified. Commit yourself to Him to rule you, to be taught by Him how you ought to rule. Learn as a widow, for He is meek and lowly of heart (S. Matt. xL 29); learn as a queen, because he judges the poor with righteousness, and reproves with equity for the meek of the earth (Is. xi. 4). Therefore, when you think of your dignity, forget not your widowhood, because (to say to you plainly what I think) you cannot be a good queen if you are not a good widow. You ask how a good widow is to be known. From the words of the Apostle: If she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the Saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work (1 Tim. v. 10). If thou doest these things, happy art thou, and well will it be with thee. May the Lord bless you out of Sion, my daughter renowned in the Lord, worthy of all veneration. My admonition has been sent first; I shall now expect a reply to follow. I have given you the occasion, and will admit of no excuse, if our friendship is not renewed by your sending me frequently for the future words and letters of friendship.

Footnotes

1. Milisendis, or Melusina, was daughter of Baldwin, the second Latin King of Jerusalem. He was succeeded by his son-in-law, Fulk, husband of this Milisendis, who was thrown on his head from his horse while hunting, and died after three days, A.D. 1142. Ep. 206, 354, and 355 were written to her. Her sister, Ivera, was a nun (Will, of Tyre, lib. xv. subjlnem). ↩