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Chapter XIV: Of the Interior Trials which form the Soul's First Purification

THE CONDITIONS under which our pilgrimage on earth must be accomplished expose all men to a certain amount of suffering and trial, which none can entirely escape. It is not merely the fact of the primeval fall and the necessary laws of expiation that subject us to many evils; the Christian has also to fill up in his flesh, according to the bold expression of St. Paul, what is wanting to the Passion of our Lord: "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man is corrupted, yet our inward man is renewed day by day. For that which is at present momentary and light of our tribulation worketh for us above measure exceedingly an eternal weight of glory."1 Writing to the Romans the Apostle from another point of view sets forth the same teaching: "And if sons, heirs also: heirs indeed of God, and joint heirs with Christ: yet so if we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified with Him. For I reckon that the sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come, that shall be revealed in us."2

Let us listen also to the prince of the apostles: "Greatly rejoice if now you must be for a little time made sorrowful in divers temptations: that the trial of your faith, much more precious than gold which is tried by the fire, may be found unto praise and glory and honour at the appearing of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen, you love; in whom also now, though you see Him not, you believe.”3

Side by side with these general reasons, which make trial and sorrow necessities for all men, the holy Scriptures speak of special and, in some sort, privileged laws, which guide our Lord in the distribution of suffering. We know that there are sufferings which are a glory to man, sufferings which are not a chastisement: “Afflicted in few things, in many they shall be well rewarded, because God hath tried them and found them worthy of Himself.”4 Who does not remember that dramatic scene with which the Book of Job opens; the Lord boasting of the fidelity of His servant, says to the enemy: “Hast thou considered My servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a simple and upright man, and fearing God and avoiding evil? And Satan answering, said: Doth Job fear God in vain? Hast Thou not made a fence for him, and his house, and all his substance round about? . . . But stretch forth Thy hand a little and touch all that he hath, and see if he blesseth Thee not to Thy face. Then the Lord said to Satan: Behold, all that he hath is in thy hand: only put not forth thy hand upon his person.”5

And after a terrible enumeration of evils, the sacred text concludes: "In all these things Job sinned not by his lips, nor spoke he any foolish thing against God."6

Holy Tobias also was struck with blindness at the very moment when he was exercising heroic fidelity to God's law: "Now this trial the Lord therefore permitted to happen to him, that an example might be given to posterity of his patience, as also of holy Job. For whereas he had always feared God from his infancy, and kept His commandments, he repined not against God because the evil of blindness had befallen him; but continued immovable in the fear of God, giving thanks to God all the days of his life."7 And when in their folly his friends mocked at his good works, he answered them: "Speak not so, for we are the children of saints, and look for that life which God will give to those that never change their faith from Him."8

Let us take notice how, in the light of faith, the trials of this life lose their terrible aspect. It seems as if the Holy Spirit would raise us above ourselves and inure us to war, by showing us the magnificence of the end to which we are tending. These trials are called by St. Paul "momentary and light"; the Book of

circuitum? . . . Sed extende paululum manum tuam, et tange cuncta quæ possidet, nisi in faciem benedixerit tibi. Dixit ergo Dominus ad Satan: Ecce universa quæ habet in manu tua sunt; tantum in eum ne extendas manum tuam (Job I, 8-12).

Wisdom mentions the elect as “afflicted in few things,” God seeming desirous of preventing us Christians from appearing doleful and victimized by giving us the sure hope of good things to come: “In every gift show a cheerful countenance, and sanctify thy tithes with joy.”9 God tries us only to correct, to heal and to save us; is it not just that we should receive from His fatherly hand with submission and calm serenity what He judges necessary for our sanctification?

There are also trials of another order; though not coming from external causes, they are yet not the interior trials of which we purpose to speak. They are the annoyances arising from our own physical or moral or intellectual weaknesses. Such a one is moved to impatience in consequence of a sanguine temperament or to sadness by a certain natural melancholy. All this is a source of trial which fidelity in God’s service can sanctify and make meritorious. The same holds good with regard to certain defects, such as awkwardness, dulness or the like, which may be of immense profit to a soul that is truly humble, generous and perfectly resigned to receive everything from God’s hand, confessing that she can lay claim to nothing.

Our very imperfections are a cause of suffering to us, but they are also a means of reform and correction when we do not cling to these defects. It is said that the most painful sting of the hornet is cured immediately if the insect can be killed and crushed upon the wound, for it carries within itself an antidote which is thus applied at once. It is by a like process that a very sensitive person may conquer his susceptibility and heal the wound by the very things that would have poisoned it, if he does but turn this sensitive disposition into an occasion of practising frequent acts of humility. Some one else is a lover of ease and comfort, and would be either dainty in point of food or over-particular about his personal convenience; but he generously falls in with the common life, and thus his natural imperfection is but an occasion of victory and merit.

We would say the same of intellectual weaknesses. To some persons a bad memory or slowness of wit, or little aptitude for study is a cause of suffering; but they resign themselves gently and humbly to be inferior to others because such is the will of God; here again is abundant matter for sanctification and an excellent cure for many illusions. In fact one thing which experience and divine light clearly show is that God always chooses for us the life which is best. In all those circumstances which do not come under our own control, why say: "If I were in such a place, I should be more recollected. ... If I had not such an employment, I should be more charitable. ... Without this obstacle I should be more humble"? All these desires and many others of the kind are but idle dreams, and attempts to shelter our scant fidelity under the false idea of what we should be if circumstances were more to our liking.

The special trials of which we here intend to speak are of another character, and it is very important to have clear ideas about them. He who wishes to lead a truly spiritual life in order, even in this world, to attain union with God, places himself by these very aspirations, by these higher ambitions, upon a new ground. He resembles the sons of Zebedee who urged their mother to ask our Lord for a special place for them in His kingdom. Our Lord in His answer, "You know not what you ask,"10 does not reproach them. He rather instructs them by those profound words. Might He not answer the same to each of us when there is question of spiritual good things? The sequel shows clearly the intention of our Divine Master.

"Can you drink the chalice that I shall drink?"11 In the first place, our Lord asks this question of those who wish to be more closely united to Him than others. Now this "chalice" is nothing else than the interior trials of which we are treating. They caused our Lord Himself, in spite of His ardent desire to save us, to exclaim: "My soul is sorrowful even unto death; stay you here, and watch with Me."12 James and John were then present, and they might have heard our Lord adding: "My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from Me. Nevertheless not as I will, but as Thou wilt."13 And yet there were no executioners present—there was no cross; our Lord was overwhelmed with a suffering that came entirely from His inmost soul.

The sons of Zebedee, who were sleeping during these dolorous hours, had heretofore answered generously: "Possumus—We can."

What an example for us, and also what an encouragement to trust ourselves to the loving Heart of our Saviour! For the Apostles were not faithful in the Garden of Olives; they could not watch even one hour with their Master. Thus we also are often courageous when the chalice is far off, and very cowardly when it comes nigh to our lips; but God in His unspeakable patience, waits for us and takes up again our foundation work.

In sufferings of this kind we must take care not to excite our Lord's compassion before His work is completed. There can be no mistake about it, certain graces which God gives to the soul are not necessary for salvation, but they must be obtained at a price. If we were to make too many difficulties, it might happen that, to spare our weakness, our Lord would let us fall back into a lower way. This, to the eye of faith, would be a terrible and irreparable misfortune.

But it may be said, What does it matter since that person will save his soul? True, but our understanding can never appreciate the superiority of a soul that might become the rival of the Cherubim or the Seraphim over one that can be assimilated only to the lower hierarchies. False modesty or the love of mediocrity cannot lawfully influence us in these matters.

We will therefore show when and how these trials appear, in what they consist and how the soul must behave herself in order not to impede God's action, and, by not impeding it, be enabled to advance.

Generally speaking interior trials do not come in the first stage of the spiritual life. In the beginning, God ordinarily draws souls by means of sensible consolations, similar to those mentioned in the first two chapters of the Canticle of Canticles. There all is serene, fresh and joyful as the dawn. If our Lord hides Himself, the soul still hears Him or at least sees Him "looking through the windows, looking through the lattices."14 No trace of suffering appears as yet. But scarcely is that soul well established like a true dove in the cleft of the rock—that is to say, rooted in faith—than her Lord requires her to catch the little foxes and to destroy those thousand little passions which will persist in springing up again.

Soon a harder road opens out before her. At the very moment when she is more than ever inflamed with joy and consolation, and when her will is entirely given up to her Lord, behold He disappears. "In my little bed by night I sought Him whom my soul loveth: I sought Him, and found Him not."15 It is in the very midst of the repose she was enjoying that the soul perceives that her Lord has gone. However she thinks it cannot really be so, and that she will soon discern His presence again.

Finding however that the silence and solitude are indeed too real she sets out in search of Him, and her search is in vain. "I will rise," she says, "and will go about the city: in the streets and the broad ways I will seek Him whom my soul loveth. I sought Him, and I found Him not."16 What a close search in mental prayer, in vocal prayer, in reading, in holy conversation! And the Lord does not show Himself, though the soul ceases not to love Him. Yea, she loves Him more purely than before, since she loves Him not merely for the joy of His presence.

Then she questions the watchmen—that is to say, those who are her guides: "Have you seen Him whom my soul loveth?"17 But what can they answer? If it is our Lord's will to hide Himself, He will not let them know where He is, and they will have no power to change His way of acting. Therefore only when she has passed them by a little—when she has mortified the desire of too human a help—does our Lord show Himself again: "When I had a little passed by them I found Him whom my soul loveth. I held Him; and I will not let Him go, till I bring Him into the house."18 How simple is this poor little one to think that she will hold Him so fast after her hard trial, that He will never again escape from her! Her inexperience makes her think that there has been some fault on her part, for she does not yet know the ways of God.

But another time the Lord, on His return, knocks at the door; and the soul, delaying perhaps too much in the sweetness of her devotion, fears that she will have to resume certain occupations from which she was glad to have been set free; in fact, she shows a certain love of self, such as heretofore our

Lord either overlooked or excused. When at last she rises she finds that her Lord has passed on. "I sought Him, and found Him not; I called, and He did not answer me."19 He now seems to have departed farther than on the first occasion. Prayer itself becomes difficult; the soul knows not whether she is heard by God.

She asks where her Lord is; she is answered by ill-treatment. Everything in her daily occupations becomes painful to her; they "take away her veil"—that is, her personality. Our Lord no longer tolerates a thousand imperfections which before He seemed to overlook. But in this anxious and painful state she is, without herself being aware of it, to be of great use to others. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my Beloved, that you tell Him that I languish with love."20 She does not think it necessary to name the person she is seeking; she thinks every one must know Him well enough. But by this very fact she provokes a question to which she gives a most ample reply; and before long, when her Lord returns, she will be able to present to Him those "daughters of Jerusalem" who, being inflamed with the desire of knowing Him, had sought Him with her.

We can but refer in a general way to these two passages of the Canticle which describe so admirably the trials of which we have spoken, and which are the means God uses to purify the soul in its inferior faculties. These sufferings are very different from those arising from our faults and imperfections, from cowardice or tepidity, or even from physical temperament; and nearly always they can be recognised by very clear signs.

Thus, while the soul no longer experiences either relish or consolation in the things of God, she finds none in human things; because God's intention is to purify her by weaning her from all satisfaction, and by putting obstacles in the way of any clinging to created things, whereas, if the dryness came from imperfections and faults, the soul would find a momentary joy in external distractions, and would succeed in satisfying her cravings outside of God.

Another feature of these trials is that, while they last, the thought of God is habitually accompanied by anxiety and a kind of painful solicitude. The soul sometimes also imagines that she is no longer serving God, but is rather going back because she feels no more relish for divine things. But this suffering proves precisely that her state does not arise from tepidity, since the character of tepidity is to have no anxiety about God's absence.

It is almost impossible that trials of this kind should not appear very early in the spiritual life, and they are a sign of the real advancement of a soul which our Lord is following up with special care. By their means He purifies her, transforms her, and prepares her for the enjoyment of graces which are truly excellent by raising her above the life of the senses: "The cause of this aridity," says St. John of the Cross, "is that God transfers to the spirit the good things and forces of the senses."21

Now it is very important not to hinder God's action, but with all our power rather to second it. Some souls will rarely experience these trials, and never for more than two or three days together; others will be under their empire for long weeks, entire months and even for years. All depends upon the good pleasure of our Lord, who alone knows our needs, as also what He intends to accomplish in us. Those who are forgetful of themselves, will pass sometimes with a light foot through these painful stages, how hard soever they may be; but those who cling too much to spiritual comfort will find them very severe, and indeed they are doubly so to them. These sufferings resemble somewhat the fire of purgatory, which burns only what it is intended to burn: a perfectly pure soul would pass through untouched.

While these trials last it is very important not to relax anything of our spiritual exercises under plea of unworthiness, and not to diminish our frequentation of the Sacraments. Far from shortening our private prayer, it would be well, after the example of our Lord, who in the hour of His agony "prayed the longer," to prolong it a few minutes. We must also be very generous in the practice of virtue, and hold fast to that exact fidelity which we imposed upon ourselves when we were drawn by sensible grace, for this is the only way of seconding the divine action. This requires great courage; for the more the soul tries to approach God, the more her sufferings increase; whereas, in other sufferings the soul can find consolation in flying to God for refuge.

It is, therefore, passively that the soul suffers in the trials which we have described, and this shows their high character, even when other sufferings of a lower kind may sometimes mingle with them; for we cannot too often repeat that in these matters strict categories and classifications must not be sought for. The science of the spiritual life, like every other science, has its laws; but experience soon shows that precise and exact classifications exist only in books, and that God's liberty, the multifarious working of external causes, the very different ways in which souls receive and make fruitful the grace of God, and also the uprisings of our evil nature, modify so greatly the features of each soul that the history of their supernatural life cannot be reduced to absolutely exact definitions.

Footnotes

  1. Propter quod non deficimus; sed licet is, qui foris est, noster homo corrumpatur, tamen is qui intus est renovatur de die in diem; id enim, quod in præsenti est momentaneum et leve tribulationis nostræ, supra modum in sublimitate æternum gloriæ pondus operatur in nobis (2 Cor., iv, 16, 17). ↩

  2. Si autem filii, et hæredes, hæredes quidem Dei, cohæredes autem Christi, si tamen compatimur, ut conglorificemur. Exisitimo enim quod non sunt condignæ passiones hujus temporis ad futuram gloriam, quæ revelabitur in nobis (Rom., viii, 17, 18). ↩

  3. In quo exsultabitis, modicum nunc si oportet contristari in variis tentationibus: ut probatio vestræ fidei, multo pretiosior auro quod per ignem probatur, inveniatur in laudem, et gloriam, et honorem, in revelatione Jesu Christi, quem cum non videritis, diligitis; in quem nunc quoque non videntes creditis (1 Pet. I, 6-8). ↩

  4. In paucis vexation multis bene disponentur, quoniam Deus tentavit eos, et invenit illos dignos se (Sap. iii, 5). ↩

  5. Numquid considerasti servum meum Job, quod non sit ei similis in terra, homo simplex et rectus ac timens Deum, et recedens a malo? Cui respondens Satan, ait: Numquid Job frustra timet Deum? Nonne tu vallasti eum, ac domum ejus, universamque substantiam per ↩

  6. In omnibus his non peccavit Job labiis suis neque stultum quid contra Deum locutus est. (Ibid., 22). ↩

  7. Hanc autem tentationem ideo permisit Dominus evenire illi, ut posteris daretur exemplum patientiæ ejus, sicut et sancti Job. Nam cum ab infantia sua semper Deum timuerit, et mandata ejus custodierit, non est contristatus contra Deum quod plaga cæcitatis evenerit ei. Sed immobilis in Dei timore permansit, agens gratias Deo omnibus diebus vitæ suæ (Tob., ii, 12-14). ↩

  8. Nolite ita loqui; quoniam filii sanctorum sumus, et vitam illam exspectamus quam Deus daturus est his qui fidem suam numquam mutant ab eo (Ibid., 17, 18). ↩

  9. In omni dato hilarem fac vultum tuum, et in exsultatione sanctifica decimas tuas (Eccli xxxv, 11). ↩

  10. Nescitis quid petatis (Matt., xx, 22). ↩

  11. Potestis bibere calicem, quem ego bibiturus sum? (Ibid., xx, 22). ↩

  12. Tristis est anima mea usque ad mortem; sustinete hic et vigilate mecum (Matth., xxvi, 38). ↩

  13. Pater mi, si possibile est, transeat a me calix iste; verumtamen non sicut ego volo, sed sicut tu (Ibid., 39). ↩

  14. Respiciens per fenestras, prospiciens per cancellos (Cant, ii, 9). ↩

  15. In lectulo meo per noctes, quæsivi quem diligit anima mea: quæsivi illum, et non inveni (Cant., iii, 1). ↩

  16. Surgam, et circuibo civitatem; per vicos et plateas quæram quem diligit anima mea; quæsivi illum, et non inveni (Ibid., 2). ↩

  17. Num quem diligit anima mea vidistis? (Cant., iii, 3). ↩

  18. Paululum cum pertransissem eos, inveni quem diligit anima mea: tenui eum: nec dimittam donec introducam illum in domum (Ibid., 4). ↩

  19. Quæsivi, et non inveni illum; vocavi, et non respondit mihi (Cant., v, 6). ↩

  20. Adjuro vos, filiæ Jerusalem, si inveneritis dilectum meum, ut nuntietis ei quia amore langueo (Ibid., 8). ↩

  21. The Obscure Night, I, ix. ↩

Chapter 15 of 24