Chapter XIX. Of the Sacrament of Matrimony, and of the Nuptial Benediction

Q. When was matrimony instituted?

A, It was first instituted by God Almighty between our parents in the earthly Paradise, Gen. ii. and this institution was confirmed by Christ in the New Testament, St. Matt. xix. 4, 5, 6, where he concludes, 'What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.' And our Lord, to shew that this state is holy, and not to be condemned or despised, was pleased to honour it with his first miracle, wrought at the wedding of Cana, St. John ii.

Q. What are the ends for which matrimony is instituted?

A. For the procreation of children, which may serve God here, and people heaven hereafter; for a remedy against concupiscence, and for the benefit of conjugal society, that m.an and wife may mutually help one another, and contribute to one ^another's salvation.

i Q. How do you prove that matrimony is a sacrament?

A, Because it is a conjunction made and sanctified by God himself, and not to be dissolved by any power of man, as being a sacred sign or mysterious representation of the indissoluble union of Christ and his church. Hence St. Paul, Eph. v. 31, 32. expressly calls it a 'great sacrament or mystery,' with regard to Christ and his church; and as such it has been always acknowledged in the Catholic Church. See St. Ambrose, 1. 1. de Abraham, c. 7; St. Augustine, 1. de Bono Conjug. c. 18 and 24. 1. de Fide et Operibus, c. 17. 1. de Nuptis et Concep. 10. &c.

Q. Does matrimony give grace to those that receive it?

A, Yes, if they receive it in the dispositions that they ought, it gives a grace to the married couple to love one another according to God, to restrain the violence of concupiscence, to bear with one another's weaknesses, and to bring up their chil* dren in the fear of God.

Q. How comes it then that some marriages are unhappy, if matrimony be a sacrament which gives so great a grace?

A. Because the greatest part do not receive it in the dispostions they ought: they consult not Go4 in their choice, but only their own lust or temporal interest; they prepare not themselves for it, by putting themselves in the state of grace; and too often are guilty of freedoms before marriage, which are not allowable by the law of God.

Q. In what dispositions ought persons to receive the sacrament of matrimony?

A, They ought to be in a state of grace, by confession: their intention ought to be pure, viz. to embrace this holy state for the ends for which God instituted it; and if they be under the carfe of parents, &c. they ought to consult them, and do nothing in this kind without their consent.

Q. In what manner does the Catholic Church proceed in the administration of matrimony?

A, First, she orders that the banns should be proclaimed on three Sundays, or festival days, before the celebration of marriage; to the end, that if any one knows any impediment why the parties may not, by the law of God, or his church, be joined in matrimony, he may declare it.

Secondly, the parties are to be married by their own parish priest, in the presence of two or three witnesses.

Thirdly, the parties express, in the presence of the priest, their mutual consent; according to the usual form of the church; after which the priest says, I join you ijj matrimony, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Fourthly, the priest blesses the ring according to this form.

F. Our help is in the name of the Lord.

A. Who made heaven and earth.

F. O Lord! hear my prayer.

A. And let my cry come to thee.

F. The Lord be with you.

A, And with thy spirit.

Let us pray.

Bless, >Ji 0 Lord! this ring, which we bless »J* in thy name, that she that shall wear it, keeping inviolable fidelity to her spouse, may ever remain in peace and in thy will, and always live in mutual charity. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then the priest sprinkles the ring with holy water; and the bridegroom taking it, puts it on the fourth finger of the left hand of the bride, saying, ^ In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.' Here also, according to the custom of Ireland, the bridegroom puts some gold and silver into the hand of the bride, saying, * With this ring I thee wed, this gold and silver I give thee, and with all my worldly goods I Ihee endow.'

After this the priest says, F. Confirm, O God! this which thou hast wrought in us. A. From thy holy temple which is in Jerusalem. Lord! have mercy on us. Christ! have mercy on us. Lord! have mercy on us. Our Father, &c. And lead us not into temptation. A, But deliver us from evil. V. Save thy servants. A. Trusting in thee, O my God! F. Send them help, O Lord! from thy sanctuary. A. And defend them from Sion. F. Be to them, O Lord! a tower of strength. A, Against the face of the enemy. F. O Lord! hear my prayer. A, And let my cry come to thee. F. The Lord be with you. A. And with thy spirit.

Let us pray.

Look down, O Lord! we beseech thee, upon those thy servants, and afford thy favourable assistance to thy own institution, by which thou hast ordained the propagatioq of mankind; and that they, who are joined together by thy authority, may be preserved by thy aid. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Fifthly, after this, if the nuptial.benediction is to be given, the priest says the Mass appointed in the Missal, for the bridegroom and the bride; and having said the Pater Nosier, turning about to the new married couple, he says over them the following prayers.

Let us pray.

Mercifully give ear, O Lord! to our prayers, and let thy grace accompany this thy institution, by which thou hast ordained the propagation of mankind; that this tie, which is made by thy authority, may be preserved by thy grace. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, &c.

Let us pray.

O God! who by thy omnipotent hand didst create all things of nothing; who at the first forming of the world, having made man to the likeness of God, didst out of his flesh make the woman, and give her to him for his help, and by this didst inform us that what in its beginning was one, ought never be separated: O God! who by so excellent a mystery hast consecrated this union of both sexes, that thou wouldst have it be a type of that great sacrament which is betwixt Christ and his church: O God! by whom this contract and mutual commerce has been ordained, and privileged with a blessing, which alone has not been recalled, either in punishment of original sin, or by the sentence, of the flood, mercifully look on this thy servant the bride, who being now to be given in marriage, earnestly desires to be received under thy protection. May love and peace abound in her, may she marry in Christ faithful and chaste, may she ever imitate those holy women of former times, may she be as acceptable to her husband as Rachel, as discreet as Rebecca, may she in her years and fidelity be like Sarah, and may the author of evil at no time have any share in her actions; may she be steady in faith and the commandments; may she be true to her engagements, and flee all unlawful addresses; may she fortify her infirmity by thy discipline, may she be gravely bashful, venerably modest, and well learned in the doctrine of heaven; may she be fruitful in her offspring; may she be approved and innocent; and may her happy lot be to arrive at length to the rest of the blessed in the kingdom of heaven; may they both see their children's children to the third and fourth generation, and live to a happy old age. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, &c.

After the priest's communion, they both receive the blessed sacrament, and in the end of the Mass, before the usual blessing of the people, the priest turns to the bridegroom and bride, and says.

The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you, and may he fulfil his blessing in you, that you may see your children's children to the third and fourth generation, and afterwards enter into the possession of everlasting life, by the help of our Lord Jesus Christ; who, with the Father; and the Holy Ghost, liveth and reigneth God for ever and ever. Amen.

Then the priest admonishes them to be faithful to one another, to love one another, and to live in the fear of God, and exhorts them to be continent, by mutual consent, at the times of devotion, and especially at the times of fasting, ant^ of great solemnities, and so he finishes the Mas? in the usual manner.

Q. Is there any obligation of receiving thi? nuptial benediction when persons are married?

A, The church wishes that it were never omit ted in the first marriage, when it may be had, because of the blessing it draws down from heaven, and it would certainly be a fault for persons to marry without it, when and where it may be had.

Q- Why does not the church allow of this nuptial benediction, when the man or woman has been once married before?

A, Before the second marriage does not so perfectly represent the union of Christ and his church, which is an eternal tie of one to one.

Q. Why does not the church allow of the solemnity of marriage from the first Sunday of Advent till after Twelfth day, and from Ash- Wednesday till after Low-Sunday?

A. Because the times of Advent and Lent are times of penance, as the times of Christmas and Easter are times of extraordinary devotion, and therefore are not proper for marriage feasts, or such like solemnities.

Q. What are the duties of married people to one another?

A, You shall hear them from Scripture.

Ephes. V. 22. ^Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord.' Ver. 23. 'Because the man is the head of the woman, as Christ is the head of the church: he is the Saviour of his body.' Ver. 24. ' Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so also let women be to their husbands in all things.' Ver. 25. 'Husbands love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself for it.' Ver. 28. ^So ought also husbands to love their wives as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife, loveth himself.' Ver. 29. ' For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it, and cherisheth it, as Christ also doth the church.' Ver. 30. 'Because we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.' Ver. 31. 'For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall adhere to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.' (Gen. ii.) Ver. 32. 'This sacrament is great, but I say in Christ and in the church.' Ver. 33. ' However, let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself; and let the wife reverence the husband.' See to the same effect, Colos. iii. 18, 19.

1 St. Peter iii. 11. 'Let women be subject to their husbands, to the end, that if any believe not the word, they be gained without the word by the conversation of the women.' Ver. 2. ' Beholding your chaste conversation in fear.' Ver. 3. ' Whose adorning let it not be in the outward plaiting of the hair, or laying on gold round about, or putting on apparel.' Ver. 4. ' But the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptibility of a quiet and modest spirit, which is rich in the sight of God.' Ver. 5. 'For in this manner heretofore also holy women, hoping in God, adorned themselves, being subject to their husbands.' Ver. 6. 'As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are,' (fee. Ver. 7. ' Husbands, in like manner, dwelling with them according to knowledge, give honour to the woman as to the weaker vessel, as to the joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.'

1 Cor. vii. 3. ' Let the husband render the (marriage) debt to the wife; and in like manner the wife to her husband.' Ver. 4. ' The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and in like manner the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife.' Ver. 5. 'Defraud not one another, unless perhaps by consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer, and return again together to the same, lest satan tempt you on account of your incontinency.' Ver. 6. 'Yet this I speak according to indulgence, not according to command.' ' Ver. 7. 'For I would have you all to be as myself,' &c. Ver. 10. 'But as to them who are joined in wedlock, it is not I but the Lord commands that the wife depart not from the husband.' Ver. 11. 'But if she shall depart that she remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.'

Titus ii, 4. ' They may teach the young women prudence, that they love their husbands, be tender of their children.' Ver. 5. ' Discreet, chaste, sober, having care of the house, gentle, submissive to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.'

There are also excellent documents for married people in the book of Tobias, ch. vi. 16. 'Then the angel Raphael said to him, hear me, and I will shew thee who they are over whom the devil can prevail.' Ver. 17. 'For they who in such manner receive matrimony as to shut out God from themselves and from their mind, and to give themselves to their lust, as the horse and the mule, which have not understanding: over them the devil hath power.' Ver. 22. 'Thou shalt take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather for the love of children than for lust, that in the seed of Abraham thou mayest obtain blessing in children.'

And chap. iii. 16. 'Thou knowest. Lord! that I never coveted a husband, and have kept my soul

Clean from all concupiscence.' Ver. 16.^1 never kept company with them t,hat play, nor with them that walk in lightness did I make myself a partner.' Ver. 17. 'But a husband I consented to take, with thy fear, not with my lust.'

And chap. iii. 8. 'Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for his helpmate.' Ver. 9. 'And now. Lord! thou knowest that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name m.ay be blessed for ever.'

Q. What are the duties of married people with i^gard to the education of their children?

A, They are obliged to train them up from their vfiry infancy in the fear of God, and to give them early impressions of piety; to see that they be instructed in the Christian Doctrine, and that they be kept to their prayers and other religious duties; in fine, to give them good example, and to remove from them the occasions of sin, especially bad company and idleness.

Q. Does the Catholic Church allow her children to marry with those that are not of her communion?

A. She has often prohibited such marriages, as may be seen in the sixteenth canon of the Council of Illiberis, the 10th canon of the Council of Laodicea, the 14th canon of the Council of Chalcedon, the 67th canon of the Council of Agde, &:c. Though sometimes, and in some places, pastors of the church, for weighty reasons, have been forced to dispense with this law, and to celebrate such marriages.'

Q. Why is the church so averse to these kind of marriages?

A, First, because she would not have her children communicate in sacred things, such as matrimony is, with those that are out of her communion.

Secondly, because such marriages are apt to give occasion to dissensions in families, whilst one of the parties draw one way, the other another. Thirdly, because there is a danger of the Catholic party being perverted, or at least of not being allowed the free exercise of religion. Fourthly, because there is a danger of the children being brought up in error, of which we have seen some sad instances. Where note, that those bargains are by no means to be allowed of, by which the contracting parties agree to have the boys brought up m the religion of the father, and the girls to follow ehe mother. God and his church will have no such division, nor give up thus their right to any one.