A Meditation before Confession

Consider, 157, my soul, that God is thy first beginning from whom thou hast receiv’d thy whole being; that he has made thee for himself, and for a happy eternity, and sent thee into this world, to the e-end that by loving and serving him thou might’st merit this happy eternity. Ah! how little hast thou hitherto thought either — of thy first beginning, or last end! How little hast thou corresponded to the only end — for which thou camest into the world! How little hast thou loved thy soveraign good! Ah, what empty toys and trifles have hitherto taken up thy thoughts! Ah, wretched husks of swine, which thou hast loved more than God! Repent and amend.

CONSIDER, 2¢/), what a filthy monster sin is, which thou hast hitherto carried about with thee, and cherish’d in thy breast. Mortal sin is so great an evil, so black, so odious and hideous, that hell itself has nothing worse. Tis the greatest of all evils, infinitely opposite to the soveraign good. ‘This dismal poison changed in a moment innumerable angels into ugly devils: this same is the bane of the whole world;; and daily crowds hell with innumerable souls. ‘This cursed stain is the fuel which nourishes that everlasting fire, and which endless ages will never be able to efface. Alas! my poor soul, how wretched then has thy case been all this while thou hast been in sin! ‘Thou hast been all this while a very monster of filth and ugliness; odious and abominable to God and his angels. The foulest creature upon earth is certainly a beauty in comparison with a soul in sin; and couldst thou but see thyself as thou art 33 in this state, the very sight would strike thee dead. Ah, detest then so great an evil, and abhor it from thy heart: and spare no pains to get rid of it.

CONSIDER, 34, the multitude of thy sins; and how from thy first coming to the use of reason till this very hour, thou hast not let one day pass without many ways offending thy God. And what had he done to deserve this treatment at thy hands? Ah, how early didst thou turn thy back upon him! How quickly didst thou fall from the supreme good into the bottomless pit of sin and misery! Hast thou not defiled all the powers of the soul, and all the senses and members of the body, by manifold sins? Hast thou not perverted all the gifts of God by abusing them, and turning them to the offence of the giver? And yet all this while he has spared thee, whilst millions of others have been cut off in their sins; yea, are actually burning in hell for lesser sins than thou hast committed: he has with an admirable love watch’d over thee night and day, or the devil would have long since carried thee away. Alas! all the while thou hast been in sin there was but a hair’s breadth betwixt thy soul and hell, viz. the slender thread of life, which thy God held in his hand, which thou hast so often provoked him to break, and if he had broken it, in that moment thou must have been in hell. Oh! love him then, and bless him for ever for his 2 234 Before Confession forbearance and long-suffering. Heartily beg pardon for having so long a time, and so very often, abused his mercy and affronted his justice. Resolve to return to him now at . least with thy whole heart, and beg that — thou may’st never any more turn thy back upon him.

CONSIDER, 4th/y, that death will be with thee very quickly; and that a sudden and unprovided death is frequently the just punishment of sin. Ah! make then thy peace with God in time; and remember that a death-bed repentance is but a poor chance: alas! they will certainly deceive themselves, that design to put upon God’s justice, by living in sin, and dying in grace. Consider also the dreadful account thou must give immediately after death of all the sins of thy life; and how wretched thy case will then be, if thou dost not now wash away thy sinful stains by penitential tears. Ah! what a dismal eternity wilt thou be condemned to, if thou art then found in mortal sin. Alas! canst thou bear everlasting fire? Canst thou endure to burn for ever? and what a loss will it be to thee to lose for ever thy God, thy soveraign good, the fountain of all good. Ah! nothing but sin can rob thee of heaven, or condemn thee to hell. Renounce then so great an evil, and detest it for ever.

CONSIDER, 5¢h/y, how good God is in himself, and how good he has been to thee. He is an ocean every way infinite of goodness and perfection; a beauty so charming, as to ravish all that see him, and eternally fill their souls with inconceivable joy, delight and love. He is the inexhaustible source of all perfection, and of all being; and every good that is in any of his creatures, is from him, by him and in him. He is eternal, without beginning, ending, or change; he is immense and incomprehensible, filling heaven and earth, and all things therein; his power, wisdom, mercy and justice are all infinite. And who art thou, my soul, that so great a God should set his heart upon thee? Ah! he has thought of thee from all eternity. He has loved thee from all eternity. He has prepared a happy eternity for thee. And how little hast thou thought of him! How little hast thou loved him! How frequently and how grievously hast thou offended him! But, O my good and loving God, I am now at least resolved by thy grace to do so no more. I have said, now I begin: oh! let this be the change of the right-hand of the most high.

CONSIDER, 6th/y, the innumerable benefits and favours thou hast received from God. He has given thee thy very being. He formed thy body in thy mother’s womb, and created thy immortal soul to his own image. He kept thee from perishing by any one of those innumerable accidents, to which thou wert exposed for the space of nine months; and brought thee safe to the waters of baptism, where he washed thee from sin, made thee his child, and heir to his kingdom. He provided for thee during thy helpless infancy and childhood. He gave thee an early knowledge of himself, and of his heavenly truths. He has favoured thee with many calls, inspirations and graces, beyond thousands of others. He has made thee a member of his church by a distinguishing mercy; he has admitted thee to his sacraments, and given himself to thee in the blessed Eucharist. He has borne with thy repeated treasons for a great many years and has still been thy constant benefactor, notwithstanding all thy ingratitude. And is it possible, my soul, that thou shouldst still offend him? Oh! rather let me die, dear Lord, than offend thee any more.

CONSIDER, 7¢h/y, how much thy Saviour Jesus Christ, the Son of God, has suffered for thy sins. His whole life was a continual suffering: but what dreadful torments did he endure for thee in his Passion and death! What a bitter agony in the garden of Gethsemane! What a bloody sweat! O the anguish of his sacred soul, which forced from his body this dismal sweat! O the heinousness of thy sins, my soul, which thy Saviour has thus bewailed with tears of blood! Alas! it was for the love of thee he suffered all this, For thee he permitted himself to be betrayed and sold by one of his own disciples. For thee he gave himself up to the hands of sinners, to be apprehended as a malefactor, bound, beaten and abused; falsely accused, and unjustly condemned muffled, spit upon, and loaded with all manner of reproaches; forsaken by all his friends, and denied by the chief of his apostles; exposed all the night, and all the day, to the insults and scoffs of his enemies, to the insolencies of the mob and of the soldiers; cloathed in a fool’s garment, judged to be worse than a Barabbas; rent and torn with whips and scourges; crowned with thorns; derided as a mock king; vested with a purple garment, and a scepter of a reed; condemned to a disgraceful death; loaded with a heavy cross laid upon his wounded shoulders drenched with gall and vinegar; violently stript of his cloaths, which now clave fast to his wounds; stretched on the cross as on a rack, and nailed to it with gross nails drove through his hands and feet; hoisted up into the air betwixt two thieves, and there, in most bitter torments and anguish, he was pleased to hang for the space of three hours, bleeding and dying for the love of thee. Ah! how much then have thy sins cost this innocent Lamb of God! Ah! how dearly has he loved thee! since in the midst of all his tortures he had thee in his heart, and even then was pleading thy cause with his eternal Father, when thy sins were crucifying him? Grieve then, my soul, for having offended so good a God; grieve that thou grievest so little for so great an evil. Run in now at least to thy crucified Saviour, embrace his feet like Magdalene, and strive to wash them with thy tears.