Thirtieth point. His humility

Her answer on the thirtieth point was :

I affirm that I have always believed and known from the words and actions of our Blessed Founder that he was perfectly humble. Not that he posed, or that he used words of selfdepreciation — unless it was on rare occasions, when he spoke from his heart — for he was wont to speak but little of himself and of his own concerns. Indeed he used to say that we ought not to speak either good or evil of ourselves, for that self-praise and self-blame both had equally their root in vanity.

He very seldom made known any of his virtues, unless to his nearest and most con fidential friends. Neither did he publish abroad

128 Saint Sane #. tie Cijantai'g depositions his imperfections, although he was always ready to own them most frankly and candidly. He sometimes said that if he had not been afraid of giving scandal, he would have spoken of them very freely.

Sometimes he talked about the defects of his past life in order not only to humble himself, but also to help and console those to whom he was speaking. He also would frequently exalt the work and abilities of some other Prelate, by depreciating his own.

His humility was hearty, noble, real, and solid, making him totally indifferent to either esteem or contempt. He had a very poor opinion of himself, loved to be despised and humiliated,* and thought highly of such practices. He told me once that he had been labouring for three whole years to acquire this virtue of humility, and that he loved and valued it above all others.

When he was treated with contempt he never showed the slightest irritation. In a letter written with his own hand and seen and read by me, he expresses himself thus : " Would to God that I were as insensible to all other things, as I am to blame and contempt." Our Blessed Founder never boasted or set himself up above others. Only, he showed a proper regard for his own dignity, so as to retain the respect due to it for the edification of his neighbour.

He was marvellously dexterous in hiding the store of virtues which he possessed, so as not to

• II aimait le mepris et sa propre abjection.

attract the admiring notice of others. Some one having told him on one occasion that the Parisians held him in such high esteem that they watched for him as though he were a Saint, he re plied in a tone of the profoundest resignation : " I have nothing corresponding to such high esteem." When he was speaking on some doctrine of great importance he allowed his words to come forth one after another, almost timidly.

When people paid him honour and showed their high opinion of his holiness, the kind and genial Prelate received their homage with the most unaffected and simple cheerfulness, saying pleasantly that he must not refuse to accept the honours they were so good as to pay him, at the same time showing plainly that he condescended thus in order to satisfy them, and to do honour, so to speak, to the honours they were rendering to him. He said also that it was best not to undertake any great matter until one had been for a long time dead to oneself and buried to the world, and that one would then be, as it were, dragged forth and brought to light by force — by the power, that is, of the Sun of justice, which raises from the dust and makes manifest hidde things.

The late M. Louis de Sales, Provost o Cathedral Church, who knew him very intim told me that our Blessed Founder was espe careful in concealing his good deeds, and di with such admirable skill that his intention was very seldom divined by those about him.

130 Saint Sane J. Ire CBjantaP*

In his carriage and gestures there was a won derful dignity, blended, however, with such a deep humility, that no one feared to approach him. The poor, even the very peasants, accosted him with perfect confidence; he was glad to be with them, heard them tell him all their small affairs, and often even spoke in their dialect so as to make himself more at home with them; he de spised none, hoAvever lowly they might be. He treated all persons with the honour which suited their respective ranks, and spoke of them in the same way. He imposed this behaviour as a rule upon our Order. He used to say that there was not a man living who cared less about honours than he did, or, on the other hand, who liked better to pay them.

He received the smallest services rendered to him with such hearty affection, that you would have thought none were due to him. Once he asked some one if she prayed to God for him* and as she hesitated before answering, thinking that he really had no need of prayers, he added with great feeling : " Pray for me, that I may not be lost."

Our Blessed Founder was never in a hurry to give his advice, or to support his own opinions; he would always rather put forward those of others than his own, unless in matters in which the service of God was concerned, or the good of his neighbour, for there he was firm, without, however, despising the opinions of others, or any thing that they said; on the contrary, he always gave his approval as far as was possible. To this line of conduct he adhered steadily on all occa sions, as is well known. He was so anxious for the perfection of his neighbour, and so much afraid of putting him to the blush, that I really do not believe any one was ever put to confusion by any act of his.

He made up his mind to submit his judgment and his will to those of others; saying it was far easier to fall in with the wish of all, than to make a single person agree with one's own wish.

He had a great wish to restrict our Order to the simple title of a Congregation, and on this subject the illustrious Cardinal Bellarmin was of his opinion; but the late Archbishop of Lyons * urged him so strongly in the matter that our Blessed Founder consented, in deference to him, to place us under the rule of St. Augustine, writing to His Eminence in these words : " I repress my desires, submitting to the decrees of God's Pro vidence, lam silent, and acquiesce in your judg ment and counsel."

He used to say that we ought to wish every one to succeed better than ourselves in their active undertakings, such as preaching, speaking, writing well, and so on. " For," he said, " humility ought to destroy in us all that is not necessary for our advancement in grace."

Once, when he returned from preaching before a large and distinguished congregation, I asked him if he was satisfied with his sermon. " No,"

• The Cardinal de Marquemont [Tr.].

132 Saint 3ane jT. tie (Efjantal's Impositions he said, " but what does it matter ! " without the least concern for what people might think.

He did not wish to appear humble, but only a man far less deserving of esteem than people thought him to be; for he knew perfectly well in what high consideration he was held. He told me one day in a letter, which was in answer to one I had sent him, that after having read what I had written, he walked up and down his room several times with tears in his eyes, thinking what he really was in comparison with what people imagined him to be, saying that " we ought never to esteem ourselves better in the sight of men, than we are in the sight of God."

He could not endure praise, especially when given to him publicly. A worthy Prelate, a great pillar of the Church, once praised him openly from the pulpit and in his very presence, overwhelming him with confusion, so that he could scarcely raise his eyes from the ground, and seemed on the point of fainting. It is said that he afterwards addressed a serious remonstrance to the Prelate.

Our Blessed Founder never disdained to raise his hat with the greatest affability to the most insignificant people, to the peasants, and even to his own servants, often at the same time speaking kindly words to them suitable to their circum stances.

He used to say that " we ought to be absolutely faithful in practising even the smallest virtues, neglecting none : and that it was better to be great in the sight of God in the exercise of these, than small in His sight with virtues which appeared great in the eyes of the world."

He has told me that if it had not been for fear of vexing the servants, he would have waited on himself. So dearly did he love this precious virtue of humility, practising it on all possible occasions, in his dress, his furniture, and all details of daily life.

Here, at Annecy, he was lodged in a house containing large rooms, spacious halls, and long galleries. On his first arrival he had his bed placed in a very small dressing-roorn, " in order," he said to me, " that after having walked about all the day like a Prelate in these great halls and galleries, I may at night find myself lodged like the poor little man I really am."

This virtue of humility was recommended by our Blessed Founder to all his penitents, and especially to us Nuns of the Visitation. One day, when he had come to our Convent at Lyons to hear the confession of a sick sister, paper and ink were put ready for him on a table, and he was entreated to write down what he most desired of us. He did so, writing very carefully at the top of the page HUMILITY and nothing else, thus showing us plainly how highly he esteemed that virtue.

His servants have told me that when he was passing through the town, and they wanted to clear the way for him, especially of heavily loaded carts or carriages, he forbade them, saying : " Are they

134 Saint 3anc J* tic CJjantal'a Bepogttfon* not men just as much as we are," and would at the same time take the most inconvenient part of the street.

He also showed his humility when travelling in country parts by always choosing the poorest and smallest spots for his lodging, saying that " he was never more comfortable than when he was uncomfortable." In his last journey to Lyons, he preferred the gardener's cottage belonging to our House of the Visitation (taking up his abode in the Confessor's bedroom) to all the other more comfortable quarters which were offered to him either by Monks or secular Priests, and this as much from his love of poverty as from his fear of inconveniencing any* one.

He used to say that " we must hide our own littleness in God's infinite greatness, and remain there hidden like a chicken under its mother's wings; " and that " blessed were the humble and poor in spirit, for they went on their way con fidently and reached the haven happily."

" Let us," he said, " leave the heights of these dazzling virtues to lofty souls; we do not deserve so high a rank in the service of God."

Our Blessed Founder was never known to apply for any dignity for himself, or for any permission to preach in the famous pulpits of great towns; on the contrary, he often refused these honours when offered to him. His only ambition, he said, was to spend his life usefully in the service of God.

On one occasion he told his brother and successor as Bishop of Geneva,* and he told me the same, that he would not take three steps to obtain a Cardinal's hat. I have seen a letter written by his own hand in which he expresses himself thus : " News has come to me from two quarters, from Rome and from Paris, that they are wanting to set me on a higher pinnacle in the eyes of the world. My answer is before God. No, never imagine that I would lift a finger to gain the whole world; I despise it too heartily. If this is not for the greater glory of God, it is nothing and less than nothing to me."

On the $oth of the same month of July, at seven o clock in the morning, she continued her deposition as follows :

Continuing my evidence on the point dealt with before, I may tell you that on one occasion, when certain preferments had been offered to our Blessed Founder, he wrote as follows : " I feel, and it is a great joy to me to feel, that my soul not only has no desire to think of these honours, but even holds them in as small regard as she would do at the moment of death, when the whole world appears as nothing but smoke ! " One day he was asked which of the eight beati tudes was his favourite. He replied : Blessed are those loho suffer for justice sake. " I would rather," he added, " that at the day of the last judgment, when all things shall be revealed, my

• John Francis de Sales [Tr.].

1 36 Saint Sane JF+ tie (jRjantar* lieposittons justice, if any is to be found in me, should be hidden from all the world, and seen only by God." Such was the true humility of heart and mind of our Blessed Father.

Even in practising the virtues, he chose indeed the best, but not the most apparent and highly esteemed. He preferred humility, gentleness, cordial benevolence towards his neighbour, yielding to the inclinations of others, modesty, simplicity, and similar little virtues which, as he used to say, " spring up at the foot of the Cross, unseen by men, yet which mortify and sanctify the heart " — he preferred them, I say, to extra ordinary fasting, hair shirts, disciplines, and other mortifications of an external nature, such as attract wonder and admiration, and are thought so much of by the world. His delight was to be hidden from all save God.

A friend wrote to him one day in the highest terms of praise, as regards the benefit derived from his conversation. He received this reply from our Blessed Founder: "I should indeed like to have you here with me that I might open your eyes to my inferiority, which is really so extreme, that I am nothing but a phantom and a shadow of an ecclesiastic, with no experience to guide me in my speaking and writing except what I borrow from others."

On another occasion a Monk wrote to our Blessed Founder in most laudatory terms. To those who brought the letter he said : " This good Father declares that I am a flower, a vase of flowers, and a phoenix; but the real truth is that I am nothing but a most loathsome man, a carrion crow, a mere dung-heap; I am the most absolute nothing of all nothings, the concentra tion of every human misery; I am grieved that this good Father does not occupy his mind with some better subject."

Now all these things were said by our Blessed Founder truthfully, according to his belief; and in conclusion, I declare in all truth and sincerity that I have never observed in any one of his words or actions, the slightest shadow of a design to exalt himself in the eyes of the world; on the contrary, I have noticed that on all occasions he practised this virtue of humility as much as it was possible for him to do. And this is true and well known.