Tenth meditation. Obedience

First point.

Reflect that you have vowed religious obedience. It is an entire surrender (says St. Climacus) of all human desires; a voluntary death, a life without curiosity, an assured road which seeks no excuse before God, a secure voyage, a tomb of selfwill, and a giving life to humility. Ah, how badly you have practised a virtue so exalted! If you do not observe it as you should, you will expose your soul to all the sins opposed to the above-mentioned virtue.

Second point.

In order to animate yourself still further to the practice of this holy virtue, consider our sweet Jesus in the house of St. Joseph, retired from the world, and obedient in all things. There it was that He originated the monastic life. But, my God, in what does He obey? In things low and vile, in helping to draw a saw, or handle a plane, He, the God of majesty and glory! And we, poor insignificant creatures, abject beyond expression, hesitate to obey if some glory and satisfaction are not connected with our act of obedience.

Third point.

Kevolve in your mind these blessed words of Our Saviour: " I am not come into the world to do My own will, but that of My Father who sent Me; " and say: " 0 my God, I have not entered the convent to do my will, but that of my celestial Father, who sent me hither by His inspirations, which I behold in my Eules, in my

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observances, and in all that my Superiors ordain for me." Assuredly, the Eeligious who wishes to do her own will in the convent does not imitate her divine Spouse; therefore, on the Day of J udgment she will deserve to be judged with worldlings and the refractory. O God, what confusion!

Affections.

Lord, I admit that in obedience all is safe, and that out of it all is precarious. Alas! I have acted very wrongfully in allowing my self-will to live! I have renounced my vows and my profession. Ah, what a misfortune! I have resumed the care of self, after having abandoned myself entirely to Thee. 0 Lord! I repent of my fault. Henceforth, casting myself into the arms of obedience and of my Superiors, I resolve, with the assistance of Thy

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grace, to walk blindly, regarding not where they lead me, but only the assured path in which I walk, namely, to Thy blessed eternity.

O my sweet and obedient Saviour! how deluded I have been to prefer obedience in great to obedience in small matters! No, my God, do not permit this misfortune to befall me, but cause me to regard with the eyes of faith lowly things as exercises in which I can more easily imitate Thy holy humanity, abased and humiliated. Never permit me, therefore, to murmur at anything that may be commanded, nor to criticise the employments that may be given me; but, with sincere affection, may I consider that my food and my sweetest nourishment is in all things to practise holy obedience!

O self-judgment, betrayer of my will, it is time for me to crush you, else you will

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annihilate me. Ah, my God! I do not wish to restrain my own will because at all times it leads me into evil, but because it prevents me from following Thee. O Thou who wert obedient unto death, even unto the death of the cross, grant that I may live and die only by obedience! Our Saviour did not desire to do His own most blessed will. Shall I ever, then, dare to do my will, which is altogether corrupt?

CHASTITY.