Letters 43–57

Letter 43

I^n 0en0ible JFeimour.

Be at rest, M. . . Sensible fervour in no wise depends upon yourself: the only thing so depending is your will. Give that to God without reserve. The point is not to feel an attraction for holiness, but to will whatever God wills. Acknowledge your faults humbly, seek detachment, give yourself up, try to love God more than yourself, and His Glory more than life; at all events, desire to attain such love, and ask it of Him. He will love you, and will fill your heart with His Peace.

Letter 44

We turn all evil into good by bearing it patiently for the love of God; and, on the contrary, we turii all good into evil when we cleave to it in self-love. All real good lies in detachment and self-abandonment to God. Now is the time of trial. Now you must lie in God's. Hand in unreserved confidence and trust. What would I not give to see you speedily cured of your malady, and still more of the love of the world 1 Self-love is a hundred-fold more poisonous than smallpox: its poison lurks within. I pray heartily for you. ...

Do not be anxious, you are in God's Hands* Live as though you expected to die each day; then you will always be ready, for true preparation

9 consists in detachment from the world and cleavingto God. While you are so ailing, do not distress yourself about being regular in your meditation. The effort might be harmful to you in your weak state* While that lasts, it is enough if you recall the Presence of God quietly whenever you find that you have forgotten it. Simple, familiar intercourse with God, telling Him all that troubles you, aiid asking His comfort, will not exhaust you, but will strengthen your heart."

Letter 45

I AM experiencing a shameful weariness of the cross. I seem to have no strength left for suffering, or power to breathe. I shudder at the cross, and not less at my own cowardice, and between the two I am a very burden to myself. I tremble continually with the dread of some fresh cause of suffering. Such a life is not living; but what does it matter? Our life ought to be merely a slow deatlu We have only to give ourselves up to the All- Powerful Will Which is crucifying us by degrees. My heart aches just now at what you tell me, and your suffering increases mine; but I detect an amount of selfish-^ ness and levity in myself of which I am ashamed. I am overwhelmed by the smallest contrariety, and the most trivial encouragement, exalts me unduly. Nothing is so humbling as to discover how tender one is over one's self, how hard towards others, how qowardly at the shadow of a cross, how frivolously

HUMILITY p3 ready to rebound at the least gleam of flattery. But it is well; God opens a very wonderful book for our instruction when He sets us reading our own hearts. '

Letter 46

This depression which is wearing you distresses me; I dread it for you more than any active suffering. I know by experience what it is to feel one's heart withered, and disgusted with all that might bring comfort. Even yet I sometimes feel this sort of general revulsion; and I am quite sure that, if it were continual, I should not long be able to fight against it. I have just been on a mission in Tournai. Everything went off well, and there was some food for self-satisfaction; but, after all, the good one does is but a small matter. If one were not upheld by the spirit of faith to work on without seeing the fruit of one's labour, one would be disheartened, so little does one accomplish, either in winning others or in amending one's self. Oh, what a difference there is between disgust and weariness with one's self and real amendment! I am a large diocese to myself, more overwhelming than the external one, and which I am unable to reform! But one inust bear with one's self without flattery, in like manner as with one's neighbours. ■ «■ " ■■■ ■ ■ ' »

Letter 47

(ITo 0ne ffufffttits from )Dfpre00ton.

I THINK I understand what is troubling you. You are in such a dry, barren state that you can find no solace, and lack all confident assurance. But your conduct is straightforward, and free from all that tends to illusion. I even fancy that you are more regular, without being less unconstrained. I can see that you are more moderate, less decided, more kindly, less keen to the faults of others,more patient, more diligent in your duties. Though you may fancy that all this is natural, nevertheless it is not at all your natural tendency, but quite the reverse. We need not be surprised that the workings of grace hide themselves by mingling with those of nature. Moreover, one is always committing faults of natural impulse, especially persons of a quick temper, and the inner consciousness makes one believe that life is full of such natural impulses to which one yields. Yet all the while one is working to conquer them, and the work is not less real because it is very imperceptible. And on the other hand, a perception of one's faults keeps up mistrust of self and humility. Do not, then,be down-hearted; and even if God gives you but little comfort, do not grow weary of waiting on Him. The world is not suitable to you. Most society would not be congenial, even if it was not dangerous; but I should like you to have some innocent companionship to amuse and refresh your mind. As for myself, I am dry and languid, life has no pleasure; but one must

ON CRITICISM OF OTHERS 95 be always going on, and take daily what it pleases God to send. If I dared, I would say that I wish for Him only and solely.

Letter 48

I MUST confess that I am delighted to see yoa overwhelmed by your faults and your powerlessness to conquer them. Such despair when the natural man is reduced to expect nothing from self and to hope only in God, is exactly what He wants. He will amend us when we give up the hope of amending ourselves. It is true that your natural character is quick and sharp, with a morbid tendency too much alive to the faults of others, and prone to retain impressions; but God will not judge you for your natural temperament, which you did not choose, and cannot lay aside at will. It will indeed turn to your sanctification if you bear it as a cross. What God doe^ require of you is that you should really do what His Grace puts before you. You have to be lowly within, as you cannot be meek externally; you have to drop your natural hauteur directly that you become conscious of it; you have to make up by meekness for the harm you may have done in a burst of pride; you have to practise lowliness steadily and perseveringly when opportunity arises; you have to lay aside your own views in all sincerity.

. It is not to be wondered at that the high esteem in which your opinion has been held by so many o for years past should have insensibly fostered self'- .reliance and a pride of which, you are unconscious. I am much more afraid of. this for you than of any outbreaks of temper. Your temper will only lead to fits of rudeness; it will show you your pride, which perhaps you would never perceive without these outbreaks. But the real source of evil is solely the secret pride which has so long been ■nurtured under false pretences. Subttiiit them to be humbled now by yoiir own failings, just as formerly attention to the faults of. others made you proud. Accustom yourself to see people slight your opinion, and try yourself not to criticise them. At any rate, if you find any fault, let it be in all simplicity; not with a view to judge and admonish, but only as a suggestion, and ready to be criticised yourself as well as to criticise. In a word, your great aim must be to put yourself on a level with the humblest and most faulty; lead them to be free and open with you, and if you have anything to impart to them, do. so less as correcting than as comforting aind strengthening them.

Letter 49

It seems to me that you need greater liberality as to the faults of others. I grant that you cannot help seeing them when they are forced upon you, or avoid your inevitable conclusions as to the principles on which some seem to act. Neither c^n you ^vert a certain annoyance which such

ON CRITICISM OF OTHERS 97 things cause. Suffice it if you try to bear with obvious faults, avoid judging such as are doubtful, and resist the dislike which estranges you from people.

Perfection finds it easy to bear with the imperfections of others, and to be all things to all men. One ought to learn to put up with the most obvious faults in worthy souls, and to leave them alone till God gives the sign for a gradual weeding; else one is likely to tear up the good grain with the weeds. God often leaves certain infirmities besetting the most advanced souls, such as seem quite out of character with their excellence; just as in reclaimed ground men leave tokens to show how extensive the work of clearance has been. God leaves such tokens to show whence He has brought them.

All such must labour in their own measure at selfamendment, and you must labour to endure their imperfections. Your own experience will teach you that correction is a bitter thing; and as you know this, give heed to soften it to others. You have not naturally so much an ardent zeal to correct others as a great fastidiousness which shuts your heart to them.

I intreat you more than ever not to spare any of my faults. Even should you think you detect such as do not really exist, it will not be a great mis* fortune. Jf your admonitions wound me, it will show that you have touched a tender place^ and so you will do me service in exercising my humility, and accustoming me to bear reproof, i need humiliation more than most men, by reason of my naturally proud character, and because G6<1 requires

I^en. S/. L.—I.] G a more absolute death to all pride of me. I greatly need this honesty, and I trust that so far from disuniting us, it will draw us closer together.

Letter 50

. . . Imperfect as we ourselves are, we only know ourselves partly; and the same self-love which causes our failings hides them very subtly, both from others and from ourselves. Self-love cannot abide to see itself, the sight would overwhelm it with shame and vexation; and if it catches an accidental glimpse, it seeks some false light which may soften and condone what is so hideous. And thus we always keep up some illusion so long as we retain aay self-love. To see ourselves perfectly, self-love must be rooted up, and the love of God reign solely in us, and then the same light which shows our faults would remove them.' Till then we only half know ourselves, because we are only half given to God, cleaving to self a great deal more than we think, or dare to own to ourselves. When we " receive all truth," we shall see clearly; and loving ourselves only with the love of charity, we shall see ourselves as we see our neighbour, without self-interest, and without flattery. Meanwhile God spares our weakness, only showing us our true hideousness in proportion to the courage He gives us to bear the sight. He shows us first one bit, and then another, as He gradually leads us on to amendment. Without this

DEALING WITH OTHERS' FAULTS 99 merciful preparation of light and strength in due proportion, the sight of our frailty would only tend to despair.

Those to whom spiritual guidance is intrusted should only lay bare men's faults as God prepares the heart to see them. One must learn to watch a failing patiently, and take no external measure until God begins to make it felt by the inward conscience. Nay, more: one must imitate God's Own way of dealing with the soul, softening His rebuke, so that the person rebuked feels as if it was rather self-reproach, and a sense of wounded love, than God rebuking. All other methods of guidance, reproving impatiently, or because one is vexed at infirmities, savour of earthly judgments, not the correction of grace. It is imperfection rebuking the imperfect; it is a subtle, clinging self-love, which cannot see anything to forgive in the self-love of others. The greater our own self-love, the more severe critics we shall be. Nothing is so offensive to a haughty, sensitive self-conceit as the self-conceit of others. But, on the contrary, the love of God is full of consideration, forbearance, condescension, and tender-^ ness. It adapts itself, waits, and never moves more than one step at a time. The less self-love we have, the more we know how to adapt ourselves to curing our neighbours' failings of that kind; we learn better never to lance without putting plenty of healing ointment to the wound, never to purge the patient without feeding him up, never to risk an operation save when nature indicates its safety. One learns to wait years before giving a salutary warning; to wait till Providence prepares suitable lOO external circumstances, and grace opens the heart. If you persist in gathering fruit before it is ripe, you simply waste your labour.

You say rightly that your changeful moods escape you, and that you know not what to say of yourself. As most of our moods are passing and complicated, our explanations are apt to become untrue before we have finished making them; something quite different supervenes, and that in its turn seems unreal. So it is best to be content to say that about one's self which seems to be true at the moment one is opening one's heart. It is not necessary to tell everything methodically; suffice it to keep back nothing intentionally, and to soften nothing with the flattering touches of self-conceit. God supplies what is lacking to an upright heart according to its needs; and those [spiritual guides] who are enlightened by grace easily perceive what people do not know how to tell when the penitent is honest, simple, and unreserved.

As to our imperfect friends, they can only know us imperfectly. They often judge only from the external failings which make themselves felt in society, and which jar upon their own self-conceit. Self-conceit is a very sharp, harsh, unforgiving critic; and the same self-conceit which softens their view of their own faults makes them magnify ours. Their point of view being wholly different from ours, they see that which we do not perceive in ourselves, and overlook much that we see. They are quick to discern many things which woiind their sensitive, jealous self-love, and which ours equally conceals^; but they do not see those secret faults which sully

SELF-RENUNCIA TION I O I

■^- - - - , ^ our virtues more, though they only oiTend God. And so their maturest judgment is very superficial. My conclusion is that it is best to hearken to God in a profound inward silence, and in all simplicity to say for or against one's self whatever His Light discovers to one at the moment one is seeking to open one's heart. . . .

Letter 51

I LIKE you best in pain and sorrow. I perceive honesty and lowliness in your letters, and I thank God gratefully for it. We must love what God loves, and I doubt not but that He loves us best when He humbles us. Painful though the operation maybe, be sure that it is useful and necessary: the surgeon hurts in proportion as he cuts to the quick, and the patient feels nothing while it i6 mortified flesh that is probed. If you were really dead to the things in question, you would not feel pain when they are cut off. You must seek absolute detachment if you would be at peace and die to self. Do not be satisfied with making some effort, or with a humility which consists of jerks. Give yourself up to God unreservedly, and accept His dealings to the fullest extent. Be courageous, but not with a mere earthly courage: do not lose the mighty fruits of this cross. Submit yourself for correction, not merely to N. . . , but even to the most insignificant who may take upon themselves to admonish you in season and out of season. If

I this is harmful to those who vent an indiscreet criticism upon you, at all events it is most profitable to youy who accept it in the spirit of self-abnegation. As to your faults, bear them patiently, as you would bear those of others, without over-indulgence or false excuses^ You must not cherish them, because they are displeasing to God; but you must realise your own helplessness to conquer them, and profit by the humiliation in your own sight to attain mistrust of self. Nothing can be done till you acquire this absolute mistrust of the natural man. But we must never despair of God's Goodness to us, -and mistrust only ourselves. The more we mistrust self and trust in God only for the correction of our faults, the further that work will advance. But then, too, we must combine persevering efforts on our own part with trust in Him. Grace only works effectually in us in proportion to our unremitting correspondence to it. We must watch, do violence to self, shun self-delusion, accept the most humili* ating counsels meekly, and measure our own faithfulness to God by our daily sacrifices and attempts at self-renunciation.

Letter 52

Patience in contemplatinff fl)tie*^ oton JFattrt0.

There never was a time when all hearts were more open to you than now; but God permits you to be unable to see it— in fact, to imagine the precise reverse. All your sensitiveness and your groundless imaginations will turn to good, provide<l

SELF-LOVE 103 that you do not give any voluntary consent to them. Even your heart is gnawed by a cruel jealousy: you will only be like the souls in purgatory, who, as you know, suffer keenly, yet with perfect peace. Sufifering which does not deprive us of a peaceful will, and which is lovingly accepted, may be very keen, but it carries a powerful consolation with it. In such a state we suffer severely; but we are content to suffer, and would not lessen our suffering. If we could question the souls in purgatory as to their condition, they would reply, We suffer an exceeding pain, but nothing so takes away the sting of pain as full submission, and we do not seek to hasten our deliverance by one hour. They burn with a jealous and avenging fire. . You burn with the fires of a jealous self-love, which God would divert into an entire sacrifice to pure love. Submit to Him unreservedly. Listen no more to your self-promptings — you will but prolong your purgatory — and remember that resistance to the Spirit of God will turn that purgatory into hell.

Letter 53

I INTREAT you not to give ear to self. Self-love whispers into one ear, and the love of God into the other. Self-love is impetuous, restless, audacious, misleading; the love of God is simple, calm, laconic. It speaks with a gentle, tender voice. The moment one listens to the cries of self-love, one is unable to perceive the quiet, modest whisper of holy love.

'I Each speaks of its own chief object. Self-love speaks of nought save that " I," which, according to:it, is never sufficiently considered. It seeks nothing but friendship, esteem, consideration, and is driven to despair by whatever does not flatter it. The love of God, op the contrary, would have this "me*' forgotten, absolutely set aside, God being all: it would have that idol of worldly men trodden under foot, smashed, so that God Himself might become ' the " Me" of His loving servants, who should be as full of Him as worldly people are of *' me." Strive to silence that chattering, complaining, idle self-love, and listen in the silence of your heart to that higher love, which only speaks when you take counsel with it. Do not fail to tell your troubles honestly to such persons as are able to comfort you.

Letter 54

Though you do not write to me, I cannot forbear writing, and urging you to give me tidings of yourself. Are you at peace in your solitude? Are you at peace with yourself.? One is never less alone than when with one's self only. One can always leave •others at certain hours, and find means of retirement; but directly one is given up to self, there is no season or interval sure. Self-love clamours day -and night; the more solitary, the livelier and more importunate it is. I pray God to supplant it, and Himself to fill all the needs of your heart. Happy the soul which is hushed by listening to Him only!

TOTAL SELF-RENUNCIATION I05

What comfortable truths He whispers when room is made for Him! Just as we can tell God everything without any formal utterance, so He says all to us without connected speech. Man's heart never speaks so perfectly as when he lays it bare without reserve to God. He who opens it simply to the Divine Eye, giving himself up to the Will of his Beloved, says everything without one uttered word; and so likewise God says all without a word when He shows forth His Truth and Love. Where love is, there is all. Give yourself up to Infinite Love, and you will hear all and understand all.

tS^otal %(If«reituncfation*

N. . . will tell you how much I think of you, and how glad I am to hear that you are at rest. Oh, what a mighty sacrifice simplicity is! It is the very martyrdom of self-love. Not to give ear to self-love is real abnegation; it is easier to bear the sharpest torments. Ten years of bodily austerities are. as nothing in comparison with such a cutting off of the jealousies and sensitiveness of a restless personal self-love. Such abnegation would be the greatest of props if it were clearly perceived. But then it would cease to be self-abnegation; it would become the richest and most flattering of possessions. So that this self-abandonment must hide us from ourselves and be itself concealed, and then it will really give us all which it hides from our selflove. The heart's sole treasure is detachment.

I Whoever is detached from all things — self included — will find more than all in God. The love of God grows rich in all that which an avaricious self-love loses. Do you live and die daily on Job's dunghill. Jesus Christ has made us rich, as S. Paul tells us, through His poverty.' We seek after cloth of gold, but all we want is the nakedness of the Cross, where Christ's garments were rent asunder and seized by those who crucified Him. It is easy for me to say all this, — I who am always seeking rest and comfort, I who shrink from pain and suffering, I who cry out directly that God touches the quick, — but nevertheless it is the truth which condemns me, and a condemnation which I endorse with my whole heart, if I do not deceive myself. Do you the like.

Letter 56

I DO enter into your troubles; would that I could something more! You must imitate Abraham's faith, and go on, not knowing whither. We only lose our way when we choose our own aim. Whoever seeks God's Will only finds it everywhere whithersoever God's Providence leads him, and so he never goes astray. Real trust, having no selfish path and no aim at self-pleasing, is sure to go straight on as God pleases. The straight way lies in renouncing self, so that God may be all, and we ourselves nothing. I hope that He Who feeds the birds of the air will take care of you. Happy he

ABSOLUTE TRUST m GOD IO7 who like Jesus Christ has not where to lay his head! Surely they who have accepted interior poverty need not fear that which is exterior \ Be faithful to God, and He will be faithful to His Promises. Give honour to religion, which is so much despised, and it will be returned with usury. Show itie world a courtier who lives a life of simple faitb.

Keep up a wholesome dread of your eager liveliness, your taste for the world, your secret ambition, which slips in unperceived. Do not let yourself be run away with amid political or social intercourse, which dissipates your mind, and unfits you for prayer and recollection. Talk but little, be brief, economise your time, work methodically and steadily, let deeds have the preference over fine words.

I repeat it, the future is not irt your hands; it may never be yours. Be content to think of the present; eat your daily bread. " To-morrow will care for the things of itself; sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.'' Storing up manna for two days is tempting God; the manna putrifies. You cannot to-day have to-morrow's grace; that will only come with to-morrow's need. The present moment is a brief eternity to us.

Letter 57

No one cat! be more keenly alive to all that has happened to you than I am. Bear your cross as a treasure; it is thereby that we become worthy of God, and conformed to His Dear Son. Crosses

.Io are part of our daily bread; God regulates their proportions according to our real needs, which He knows, though we do not. Let us leave it all to Him. Do you let yourself be the child of Providence, and let your relations and friends talk. Do not seek to penetrate the future. The manna grew corrupt when, out of over-caution, it was stored up for mcffe than a day. Do not ask, What are we to do tomorrow? "To-morrow will take thought for the things of itself." Confine yourself to the needs of to-day; God will each day give you the requisite help for those. " They who seek the Lord shall want no manner of thing that is good." ' Providence would work miracles for us, but we hinder God^s miracles by trying to forestall them. In our restless activity we erect ourselves into a providence as inefficient as that of God would be effectual.

As to N. . . , he cares for religion, and has good principles, but he needs strengthening and sustaining. , He must be helped without constraining him. You know his impetuous mind and his long-formed habits; you must pass over many things in him which I shpuld not pass oyer in you. God knows better than we do what He has. given to each man, and what to require of him. You must be considerate, forbearing, patient, hopeful, and rely upon the Ruler of hearts, Who is faithful to His Promises.

Be faithful and submissive yourself. Profit by your weaknesses to acquire unlimited self-mistrust, and by a childlike pliability in receiving correction. Lowliness will be your strength even amid weakness.

• Ps.zxxiv. lo.

FORBEARANCE I09