Letters 26–36

Letter 26. Practice of Recollection At By-Times

I THINK you should try, without any painful effort, to dwell upon God as often as a longing for recollection, and regret that you cannot cultivate it more, comes over you. It will not do to wait for disengaged seasons, when you can close your door and be alone. The moment in which we crave after recollection is that in which to practise it; turn your heart then and there to God, 1 Rom. viii. 28.

simply, familiarly, and trustfully. The most interrupted seasons may be used thus; not merely when you are out driving, but when you are dressing, having your hair arranged — even when you are eating, and when others are talking. Useless and tiresome details in conversation will afford you similar opportunities: instead of wearying you, or exciting your ridicule, they will give you time for recollection; and thus all things turn to good for those who love God.

Another very important rule is to abstain from any fault whenever you perceive that you are about to commit it, and to bear the humiliation involved if you only discover it when committed. If you perceive the danger before committing it, beware of resisting God's Holy Spirit, Who is warning you, lest you extinguish Him within you. He is sensitively jealous; He must be hearkened to and followed. If He be grieved, He will withdraw; the least resistance wounds Him. Let everything in you yield to Him the moment He makes Himself felt. Faults committed through frailty or haste are nothing in comparison with those which close the ear to the Secret Voice of the Holy Spirit when it whispers within the soul.

As to faults which are not perceived till after they are committed, excitement and the vexation of wounded self-love will never make amends; on the contrary, such

JtecoUectiott 65 vexation is merely the impatience of pride at what is upsetting to it. So the only way to deal with such faults is to humble yourself quietly. I say quietly, because there can be no humility where there is irritation and vexation. You ought to condemn your fault, and accept your humiliation in God's Sight, without being irritated at yourself or disheartened, quietly making use of that humiliation. This is the way to win the antidote to the serpent's bite from itself. The shame of sin, borne without impatience, is the antidote of sin; but there is no humility in resisting the humiliation.

A passing thought of God during meal-times (especially when they are long, and with considerable intervals) will be very profitable in helping you to resist selfindulgence, and your exceeding fastidiousness. Besides, in the first hungry beginning of a meal there is often not much conversation, and then you can turn your thoughts to God. But all this should be done naturally as the inclination arises, and not constrainedly. . . . We often do not give God that which He asks of us; it is precisely what we are least willing to give, and we dread His asking it. He sternly requires Isaac, the only, the beloved son; all the rest is nothing in His Eyes, and He lets it be at once hard and profitless, because His Blessing is not upon a half-hearted offering. He wills to have all, and without all there is no rest to be found. " Who

66 jsqjiritttal?Detter<s hath hardened himself against Him, and hath prospered? " we read in Holy Scripture.1 If you would prosper, and have God's Blessing on your work, withhold nothing, cut to the quick, burn, spare not, and the God of Peace will be with you. Who can tell the comfort, the freedom, the strength, the influx of grace, when there is nothing left between God and the soul, and everything has been offered to Him, to the uttermost. I pray daily that God may give you strength to do this.

Letter 27. Faults to Be Met With a Vigorous Spirit

I DO not fully remember what I said that you wished to have in writing, but I think we were talking of an exceeding sensitiveness which cannot be controlled. Many people worry and torment themselves uselessly about this. Such sensitiveness does not depend upon ourselves; God has given it as part of our disposition, as a trial, and He does not will to set us free, but rather to use it as a discipline. Be it ours to enter into His design. Temptations are necessary; our, business is not to give way under them. Internal and external temptations alike all tend to strengthen us for victory. Interior temptations are the most profitable, because they humble 1 Job ix. 4.

/ reefoom from sell 67 us more directly by showing us our inward corruption, while external temptations tend rather to show the wickedness of the world around us. But our inward temptations make us feel that our own natural inclinations are as bad as those of the world itself. All alike come from God's Hand, Who can use both ourselves and others to teach us self-mortification.

Not unfrequently it is the revolt of pride, which is disturbed and disheartened at seeing such internal rebellion just when it would fain find submission, and be able to indulge self-complacency. We must strive to be faithful in will, notwithstanding our natural repugnances and opposition; we must not resist God when He pleases to show us by these tempests to what shipwreck we are exposed did not His Hand save us. Even if we should fall deliberately through weakness, we must humble and correct ourselves without giving way to self-pity. We must not lose a moment in returning to God; only we must do so naturally and without excitement, rising up and resuming our course vigorously, without being mortified and disappointed at our fall.

XXVIH:

FREEDOM FROM SELF.

So long as we are centred in self, we shall be a prey to the contradiction, the wickedness, and injustice of men.

Our temper brings us into collision with other tempers; our passions clash with those of our neighbours; our wishes are so many tender places open to the shafts of those around; our pride, which is incompatible with our neighbours', rises like the waves of a stormy sea; — everything rouses, attacks, rebuffs us. We are exposed on all sides by reason of the sensitiveness of passion and the jealousy of pride. No peace is to be looked for within when we are at the mercy of a mass of greedy, insatiable longings, and when we can never satisfy that " me " which is so keen and so touchy as to whatever concerns it. Hence in our dealings with others we are like a bedridden invalid, who cannot be touched anywhere without pain. A sickly self-love cannot be touched without screaming; the mere tip of a finger seems to scarify it. Then add to this the roughness of neighbours in their ignorance of self, their disgust at our infirmities (at the least as great as ours towards theirs), and you soon find all the children of Adam tormenting one another, each embittering the other's life. And this martyrdom of self-love you will find in every nation, every town, every community, every family, often between friends.

The only remedy is to renounce self. If we set aside — lose sight of — self, we shall have nothing to lose, to fear, or to consider; and then we shall find that true peace which is given to "men of good-will," i.e. those who have no will save God's, which has become theirs. Then jf ceebom from J>elf 69 men will not be able to harm us; they can no longer attack us through hopes or fears, for we shall be ready for everything, and refuse nothing. And this is to be inaccessible, invulnerable to the enemy. Man can only do what God permits, and whatever God permks him to do against us becomes our will, because it is God's. So doing, we shall store our treasure so high that no human hand can reach to assail it. Our good name may be tarnished, but we consent, knowing that if God humbles us, it is good to be humbled. Friendship fails us: well! it is because the One True Friend is jealous of all others, and sees fit to loosen our ties. We may be worried, inconvenienced, distressed; but it is God, and that is enough. We love the Hand which smites; there is peace beneath all our woes, a blessed peace. Wre will that which is, we desire nothing which is denied us; and the more absolute this self-renunciation, the deeper our peace. Any lingering wishes and clingings disturb it; if every bond were broken, our freedom would be boundless. Let contempt, pain, death, overwhelm me, still I hear Jesus Christ saying, " Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul." ' Powerless indeed are they; even though they can destroy life, their day is soon over! They can but break the earthen vessel, kill that which voluntarily dies daily. Anticipate somewhat the welcome deliverance, and then the soul ' Matt. x. 28.

70 jlptritttal will escape from their hands into the Bosom of God, where all is unchanging peace and rest.

Letter 29. To the Comtesse de Montberon.' on a Simple Mind

YOUR religion is somewhat too restless and active. Do not distrust God; so long as you do not fail Him He will not fail you, but will give you such help as you need to serve Him. Either His Providence will supply you with external guidance, or His Holy Spirit will make up within for that which is outwardly lacking. Believe that God is faithful to His promises, and He will give you according to the measure of your faith. If you were forsaken in a desert wilderness, manna would fall from Heaven for you alone, and waters would gush forth from the rocks. So fear nothing save mistrust of God, and do not be over-anxious even on that score. Bear with yourself as you would bear with others, without self-deception. Put aside all your mental and spiritual fastidiousness, which you are disposed to display towards God as well as to men. There is a great deal of refined selfishness and complacency in all that. Be natural with Him Who delights to reveal Himself to the simple heart. Become 1 The following letters, to No. LXV., are all addressed to this lady.

common; no: by vulgarity, but by renouncing all fastidiousness of intellect " Blessed are the poor in spirit; " — who have taken the vow of spiritual poverty, who live from day to day by continual alms, and by absolute selfsurrender to Providence! How glad I should be to see you as indifferent about intellectual things as a penitent is about dress and ornaments!

Letter 30. Some Rules As to Dress

You are not mistaken, Madame, in believing that it is not enough merely to change the object of eagerness, and that there is a restless eagerness which needs checking, even in God's service, and the correction of our own faults. This thought may be of great use in calming without relaxing your energy. The eagerness with which you set about the best things mars them, and throws you into an excitement which is all the more opposed to the peacefulness of God's Holy Spirit because you strive to control it, and hide it within you out of mere worldly courtesy. A little simplicity would enable you to exercise the same virtue with less effort.

I highly approve of your communicating once a fortnight. It is not too often for one leading a retired life, trying to give herself to her duties, to reading and prayer.

72 jepirituat Betters!

You need to seek food, comfort, and strength to bear your crosses, and overcome your failings in the Sacrament of love and life. Do not try to judge yourself, or give way to any scruples as to your communion.

As to confession, I can say nothing, only your Confessor can speak positively as to that. God will not suffer him to fail you if you strive simply to do that which His Grace requires of you. Go on in full, hearty faith, and try to do as your Confessor bids you.

Neither can I say anything very definite as to your reading and prayer. I do not know enough of your tastes, leadings, or needs. . . .

As to dress, it seems to me you ought to consider M. de Montberon's tastes and wishes. If he thinks economy necessary, you should retrench as much as possible; if he wishes you to keep up a certain external style, do whatever he seems to desire, simply to please him, not to indulge your own tastes. If he leaves you to your own judgment in this matter, I should say that a medium was the best self-denial for you. You are inclined to extremes; your pride and fastidiousness would stop short in nothing but perfect magnificence; — and severe simplicity is but another refinement of self-will; it is a splendid renunciation of splendour. But the mid-course is trying to pride. It makes you seem wanting in taste, and feel commonplace. I have heard of you formerly

Ittebttatioit 73 dressing like the Sisters of a Community; this is too much outwardly, and too little in reality. Moderation in dress will be a much greater trial to you in the bottom of your heart; but your unfailing rule should be perfect openness with M. de Montberon, and unhesitating compliance with whatever you see pleases him best.

Letter 31. On Meditation

As to meditation, use it not merely at appointed times, but further, in the intervals between other occupations as much as you find yourself able; but be careful to husband your strength, bodily and mental, and stop whenever you feel weary. Always begin with the most weighty points which have struck you when reading. Follow the leadings of your heart, so as to sustain yourself with a loving realisation of God's Presence, of the Holy Trinity, and of the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. Cling closely to this holy companionship, give yourself up to it with boundless confidence, and hold such converse with it as a single-hearted love inspires. When you have spoken out of the abundance of your heart to those Blessed Ones, hearken with your mental ear, silencing your restless, eager spirit. As to distractions, they will die away of themselves if you never encourage them voluntarily, if you choose the path of love, if you are not distracted by the fear of distractions, and if, when you find your imagination wandering, you recall it quietly and without vexation to your devotions. Your facility in meditation is a token of God's Love; for, were it otherwise, your scrupulous temperament would disturb you greatly when you want to think upon God.

As to reading, I am not afraid of your studying most parts of Holy Scripture. ... I specially advise you to read the New Testament, but do not dwell upon the difficult passages of the Epistle to the Romans; also the historical books of the Old Testament, the Psalms, Proverbs, Wisdom, and Ecclesiasticus, and parts of the Prophecies. Do not forget the Imitation of Christ, or S. Francis de Sales' Works. His Letters and his Entrdiens are full of teaching and experience. When what you read induces meditation, put down the book, and resume it afterwards. Read but little at once; read slowly and quietly; read lovingly.

Do not dwell any more on your general confessions; it is a danger to the peace which God would give you, and might rekindle your scruples. Whatever excites your sensitive, eager thoughts is a peril and a snare to you. Follow trustfully the attraction God gives you towards His Infinite Perfection. Love Him as you wish

©it the £UkiU!5j5 of a / rien& 75 to be loved; it is none too much. Love Him according to the notions He has given you of exceeding love. Do not make yourself a martyr to Its bienseances, and to perfect courtesy. Such sensitiveness consumes the mind, and involves too much self-concentration. Speak and act without so much circumspection. If you are absorbed in God, you will be less eager to please men, and will really please them more.

Letter 32. On the Sickness of a Friend

I SYMPATHISE sincerely in the grief which the dangerous illness of Mdlle. . . . causes you, and your suspense is a still further trial. Nothing is so trying to nature as suspense between a faint hope and a mighty fear; but we must have faith as to the extent of our trials, as in all else. Our sensitiveness makes us often disposed to fancy that we are tried beyond our strength, but we really know neither our strength to endure nor the nature of God's trials. Only He Who knows both these, and every turn of the hearts which He has made, knows how to deal out a due proportion. Let us leave it all to Him, and be content to bear in silence. What we call impossible is only such to our softness and cowardice; what we fancy overwhelming is only so to pride and self-will, which cannot be too much crushed. But the new Adam finds fresh strength and heavenly consolation in this crushing of the old Adam.

Offer up your friend to God; would you withhold her from Him? Would you put her between Him and you, as a wall of separation? What do you sacrifice but the short, wretched life of a person who could only surfer and, perhaps, risk her salvation here? You will soon see her again, not in this world's sunshine, which lights up nought save vanity and sorrow, but in the pure light of eternal truth, which blesses all those who behold it. The more upright and excellent your friend, the fitter she is not to tarry in this evil world. It is true that there are but few real friends, and it is hard to lose them; but we do not lose them — we rather are in danger of losing ourselves while waiting to follow those we mourn.

As to prayer, Madame, do not fear. There is no illusion in following God's leading, and abiding in His Presence engrossed in love and admiration, provided such engrossment never gives us a foolish idea that we are very advanced; provided it does not prevent our being conscious of frailty, imperfection, and the need of amendment; provided it never leads us to neglect any duty, external or internal; provided we are sincere, humble, simple, and docile to those set over us. Do not

Scat I) of a / ricnl) 77 hesitate; accept God's gifts. Open your heart to Him, feed upon Him. Hesitation would constrain you, interfere with the workings of grace, and plunge you into a sea of perplexities, in which you would always be undoing with one hand what the other does. So long as you think of God, love Him, abide in His Presence, and cleave to His Will without presumption, without neglecting any duty or relaxing in precept or counsel, without wandering from obedience and the ordinary path, you will be in no danger of delusion. Follow God's leadings. Say to the Bridegroom, " Draw me, and I will run after Thee." ' Put no limit to your recollection, save what is requisite to preserve health, and to fulfil the duties of your position in life. Only, take care that your body does not suffer from your mind's activity. ... I should fear this more than illusion in a life so upright and regular as yours.

Letter 33. On the Death of the Same

I WAITED for you to hear from others of your friend's death. God has taken her from this world's perils, after preparing her by long sickness, and He has deprived you of 1 Cant. L 4.

a very excellent friend who satisfied your fastidious taste. All that He does seems hard, but it is in mercy. Soon all this will be over, and we shall see in the light of truth how well God loves us when He lays the cross upon us.

Letter 34. The Beginnings of Divine Love

I AM very irregular, but you require my irregularities and my dryness. Until our friends become perfect we must turn their imperfections to good account; they will be more profitable than even perfections if they mortify and detach us. So forgive me all my faults, and believe me when I say with all Christian sincerity that no one can care for you more heartily and stedfastly than I do.

You are still in swaddling-clothes; but as children grow these are loosened. There is one kind of growth, however, which I do not covet for you. God forbid that you should grow after the world's fashion. Jesus Christ would not allow His full-grown Apostles to keep little children from coming to Him; the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs, He said, and woe to the great who do not become small like them. I infinitely prefer your swaddling-clothes and your childlike timidity to the stiff, proud dignity of strict Pharisees.

of Shunt loue 79

When God moulds a soul to Himself, it readily dispenses with whatever externals He takes away. Love is a great casuist in all doubtful matters; it possesses a delicacy and jealous perception which exceeds all human reasoning. We ought to be subject to external order. and submit to those set over us; but when externals are lacking, we must sit loose to them, live by faith, and.be led by love. . . . What you experience is a great novelty for you; it is an altogether unknown life to you. One does not know one's self; one seems to be dreaming with one's eyes open. Receive all, but set your heart on nothing: love, bear, and still love on. Dwell little on your gifts, save to thank the Bridegroom Who gives them; be very simple, docile, faithful to duty in evendetail. Love imparts great freedom: it makes everything simple without despising rule.

Take as much sleep as you can. your body needs it; and you must not neglect that, even out of eagerness for prayer. The spirit of prayer knows how even to leave off praying when it is in conformity to God's requirements. While you sleep your heart will watch. When sleepless, do not fail to recall God's Presence, but you must not sacrifice needful sleep. What you are now feeling is but the beginning. The most vivid and excited feelings are not the purest or deepest; but the keenness of newborn love sows the first seeds within the heart.

8o

Be it yours now to draw the sweet milk of love from the fount of Divine Compassion; love even as God prompts you at the present moment. By and by, if He imposes privation on you, your love will change its character, and you will experience another kind of novelty.

Letter 35. Scruples

... I WISH you were as simple in your confessions as in meditation. But God works gradually, and the slowness with which He works tends to humble us, to exercise our patience as regards ourselves, and to make us more dependent on Him. So we must wait patiently for your simplicity to grow and spread over your confessions, in which I can see that you indulge too much scruple. There is no objection to your communicating on the appointed days without going to confession, when you have no definite fault of which to accuse yourself since your last confession. This may easily occur in the short interval between your confessions. God would have us enjoy liberty when we seek Him only. Love is familiar; it has no reservations, no contrivances; it lies on the surface of all intercourse with the Beloved. Where we find scrupulous consideration about

Him, we must suspect that some other love divides the heart, restraining it, and causing it to hesitate. We do not dwell so much and so anxiously on our own state save because we are clinging to some other affection, and so put a limit on union with the Beloved. You who are so keenly alive to friendship, would you not feel the reserve of a friend towards whom you had none, especially if he were always doling out his confidence as though afraid of letting it exceed a certain limit? You would assuredly say, "I do not treat you as you treat me; I weigh nothing, and you weigh everything; you do not love me as I love you, or as you ought to love." And if you, all unworthy as you are, demand so single and unreserved a love, how much more right has the Heavenly Bridegroom to be jealous? Strive, then, to attain greater singleness of heart I do not want anything which perplexes or constrains you; enough if you do not resist the leadings of simplicity, and if you throw aside all anxious retrospection when you discover it

Follow the bent of your heart as to reading, and as to meditation do not waken the Bride until she awakes spontaneously. Take care of your health; let your imagination and senses have some diversion when you feel that they need external relief. Such innocent recreation will in nowise interfere with the loving Presence of God. ... I will never fail you, please God.

I am dry and hard, but God lets His Own Goodness tell in those whom He uses to do His work, and who require tenderness to promote it. Trust yourself to God, and look to Him only. He is the real Friend, Whose Heart will always be infinitely tenderer than yours. Mistrust yourself, not Him. He is jealous, but it is the jealousy of exceeding Love, and we ought to be jealous over ourselves on His behalf, even as He is. Trust to love; it takes all, but it gives all. It leaves nothing in the heart save itself. It can tolerate nothing else; but then it can satiate every longing, for it comprises everything. Those who taste it are inebriate with a sweetness which yet is but a foretaste of heavenly joy. Conscious love ravishes, transports, absorbs, makes the soul indifferent to the loss of all else; but hidden love, which conceals itself to teach the soul detachment, is a sorer martyrdom than anything conceivable which is merely exterior.

Letter 36. The Source of Scruples

... I THOUGHT in our last conversation that your scruples had somewhat hindered and withered you. They would damage you irreparably if you listen to them; it would be real faithlessness. You are enjSouree of £cruple<> 83 lightened enough to let them go; and if you fail to do so, you will grieve the Holy Spirit of God. " Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty: " ' but where constraint, anxiety, and a slavish fear are, there is self-will and overweening care for self. How far from all these disturbances true Love is. They who are so absorbed in their own fancies care but little for the Beloved. All your troubles come from want of faith. If you had not resisted God to follow your own devices, you would not have suffered thus; there is no greater evil than these efforts to attain a visionary relief. A dropsical patient only increases his thirst by drinking, and so the victim of scruples only increases his trouble by heeding them; and indeed he deserves it. The only cure is to silence them and turn at once to God; and at such times it is prayer and not confession that will heal the heart. Try, then, to make up for lost time; for, honestly, I think you are rather upset and enfeebled. But this evil may be turned to good; for such experience of privation, of trial, and of your own weakness, will carry light with it, and teach you not to think too much of the pleasant side of your more peaceful and abounding phases. Take heart, and be very straightforward; you are not enough so, and that often makes you argue, and prevents your speaking out fully.