Diogenes

Died the 1st year of the 1 14th Olympiad, at the age of 90: he was therefore horn the 3d year of the 9l8t Olympiad.

DiooEWEs the Cynic, son of Isecius, a banker, was bom at Sinope, a city of Paphlagonia, about the 91 St Olympiad. He was accused, along with his father, of forgery. Isecius was arrested and confined in prison, where he died. Diogenes took the alarm and fled to Athens. As soon as he arrived, he went to Antisthenes, who, having resolved never to take another disciple, endeavoured to discourage him, and even repulsed him with his stick. Diogenes, not in the least irritated by this, stooped his head: " Strike! strike!" cried he; ** fear nothing: you will never find a stick hard enough to send me away whilst you are speaking." Antis-thenes, at length subdued by the obstinacy of Diogenes, agreed that he should be his disciple. Diogenes was obliged to live in poverty, as a man banished from his country, and who received no assistance from any place. He saw one day a mouse running about briskly without fearing to be surprised by night, or troubling itself to seek a lodging, and even without thinking of its food.

This consoled him uiider his misery, aiid he resolved to take example by the mouse, and live quietly without troubling himself for the future; and to be satisfied without those things which were not absolutely necessary wherewith to support life. He doubled his cloak so that by wrapping himself up in it, it served both for bed and covering. His whole furniture consisted of a stick, a wallet, and a bowl: the two latter he always carried with blm; but only used his stick when he travelled, or when he was indisposed. He said, that real cripples were neither the blind nor the deaf, but only those who had no wallet. His feet were always bare: he did not wear sandals even when the ground was covered with snow. He also wished to accustom himself to eat raw meat, but in that he never succeeded. Having begged a person he knew to give him a small room in his house, to retire to sometimes, he had to wait so long for a positive answer, that he had recourse to a tub which he rolled before him, when he wished to remove his place of abode; and never afterwards used any other shelter. In the heat of summer, when the sun scorched the earth, he would roll himself in the burning sands; and in the middle ot winter he would embrace statues covered with snow, to accustom himself to suffer without inconvenience the extremes of heat and cold. He despised the world: he treated Plato and his disciples as spendthrifts and epicures, and called the orators slaves of the people. He said that crowns were marks of glory, as fragile as bubbles that burst as they rise, and that spectiicles were the marvel of fools: in ahort, nothing escaped his satire. He ate, spoke, and lav down, in all places, and at all times, just as inclination prompted him. Sometimes, viewing the portico of Jupiter, he would exclaim, "Ah! the Athenians hav€ indeed built me a fine place to taloe my meals in I" He often said, " When I look upon the teachers, physicians, and philosophers in the world, I am tempted to beliere that man by his wisdom is raised for above the level of beasts; but, on the other hand, when I see the soothsayers, Inteipreters of dreams, and men whom riches and honour are capable of elating, I cannot help thinkmg they are the most foolish of all atumals." One day as he was walking, he saw a child drinking out of the hollow of his hand: Diogenes was ashamed of hhnself; « What!" said he, *< do children know better than I the things they can live without?" and instantly taking his bowl from the wallet, broke it, as an utensil that was useless to him. He praised €i£eedlngly those who, having been on the point of marriage, had then changed their minds; as well as those who, after preparing every thing for a voyage, remained on shore: he did not estimate less highly such as had been chosen to govern the republic, and refused to engage in it; like those who, having been invited to the table of kings or lords, yQt preferred returning to plain fare at home. He only studied morality, and entirely neglected all the other sciences. His wit was keen, and easily confuted the objections that were raised against his philosophy.

His opinion concerning marriage would have revolted the least civilised tribes of savages. He not only rejected the religious and civil contracts, but even attacked the natural contract of unity of choice. He thought there, was no harm in tidnng any thing that he wanted. He did not wish people to afflict themselves about any thing. " It is much better," s^dhe, "to console than to hang oneself." One day, beginning to speak upon an iniportant and highly useful subject, and seeing every body pass by without troubling themselves to listen to what he was saying, he began to sing. Numbers of citizens directly assembled in crowds around him. He then reprimanded them severely for running from all sides for trifles, when they did not choose to listen to things of the greatest importance. He was astonished that critics shotdd tor« ment themselves to discover the misfortunes of Ulysses, without paying any attention to A'eir own. He blamed musicians fot* »king so muth trouble to tune their instruments, instead of attending to their minds, which required so much more care. He sa^ tirized astronomers for amusing themselves with contemplating the sun, moon, and stars, without knowing the things at their feetJ He was not less severe upon the orators, who thought only of speaking well, without caring how they acted. He strongly censured certidn avaricious men, whb^ wkhing to appear very disinterested, pndsed those wha despised riches, yei thought of nothing themadives but amassing money. Nothing appeared to him more ridiculous than those men who saa-ificed to the gods for the preservation of their health, and then, as soon as the ceremony was finished, feasted and gave themselves up to ^e greatest excesses.

To coadiule, be said that he met with many who tried to aurpass eaoh other in foolishness, hut that jBOl one had emulation enough to he the first in the road to virtue.

Diogenes ohservmg that Plato at a magnifi.- •cent repast only ate olives, asked the reason why he who pretended to he so wise, did not eat more freely of the delicacies for the sake of which he we^t to Sicily. " I generally live when I am in Sicily,"' replied Plato, " on capers, oliyes, and similar things, as I do in this country." — « Of what use was it, then," said Diogenes, -<'togo to Sicily? are there neither capers nor olives in Athens?" As Plato was one day entert^ningsome fnends of Dionysius the Tyrant, Diogenes went to his house, and putting his liirty feet on a handsome carpet, said, " Thus I trample on. the pride of Plato."-— "Yes, Diogenes," rq)lied Plato, " b^t it 2a with greater pride." A certain sophist Tinshing to show Diogenes the depth of his wit, <* You are not what I am," said he; '< I am a man, consequently you are not a man." — '* That reasoning would he true," answered Diogenes, '< if you had begun by saying, you are not what I am; since then you must have concluded, that you are not a man." Being asked in what part of Greece he had seen wise men, he replied, " I have seen many children in Lacedemonia; but as for men, I can find them no where." As he was once walking in the middle of the day with a.lighted lantern in his hand, he was asked wlat he was looking for: "I am seeking for an honest man," answered he. Anothef time he b^gan to cry in the middle of the street, " O men,

220 0(d(3£N£8.

men! ho, ho!" Number8 of meu immecKifeiy surrounded him: Diogenes drove thera sway with hi« stick; '' It is men," said he, ^thal! I am ealliiig for.* Demosthenes dining one- iay at a tareni, saw Diogenes pass, and hH himself directly. ^ Ek> not hide yonfself," sdd he, ** for the more jou hide yourself y the farther yon go into what yon ought t» avoid." Be saw another time some strangers who were come to see Dpmosthenes: Diogenes went straight to them, and laughingly said, <^ Here^ here, look at hrar wel) \ behold the great orator of Atliens l^ Diogenes was one day in a mag^- nificent palace, where gold and sSver abounded. After examining fts beauties, he be^an to cough and spat upon the fiace of a Phrygian who was showing him the palace. '** My friend,"' said he, " I did not see a dirtier place to spit on." One day he went, half shaved, into a room where some young people were rejoicing, but they obliged him to depart after ill-treating him. IHogenes, to punDsh them, wrote on a piece of paper the names c^f those by whom he had been struck, and walked tfarongfa the streets with it tied to his shoulder, to make them known and ^sgrace thera to the woiid. One day a notorious rogue reproadied' him for Ms po^ verty: ** I have never seen any body punished for being poor,'" said he, " but I have seen many a rogue hung." He often said, that the most use-^ ful things were commonly least esteemed ^ that a statue cost five thousand crowns, whilst a bushel of flour was not worth twenty pence. One day, when he was going into a bath, he found the water very dirty: <^After bathing here," said he, *• wher^

4I0 we go to wash?" Diogenes was ODce takeu hj some Macedonians near Cheroneay who carried him directly to Philip: the king asked him who he was;" I am the spy of your insatiable avidity," re-plied he. Philip was so pleased with the answer, that he gare him his liberty, and sent* him.b^k. Diogenes thought that wise men could never want any thing, and that every thing was in their power. << To the gods," said he, '' all things belong: the wise are friends of the gods; between friends every thing is common— consequently every thing belongs to the wise." It was Diogenes who, whenever be wanted any thing, said he would, ask his friends for it. When Alexander was p;issing through Corinth he had the curiosity to go and see Diogenes, who was there at that time. He found him sitting in the son, in the Craneum, mending his tub with glue. ** I am the great king Alexander," * said he to him. " I am the dog Diogenes," replied the philosophei'. '* Do you not fear me?" continued Alexander. ' Is there any one who fears what is good?" asked Diogenes. Alexander admired the wit and imrestrained manners of Diogenes, and after conversing some time with him, said, '< 1 see, Diogenes, you are in want of many things; I shall be happy to assist you — ask me for whatever you want."—" Stand a little on one side then," i-eplied Diogenes; " you prevent me from feeling the sun." Alexander was very^uch surprised at seeing a man above every thing human. " Which is the riehest?" contmued Diogenes; " he who is contented with his doak and wallet, or he whom a whole kingdom does not satisfy, and who daily u3 exposes himself to a thousand dangers, to ixigtuetkt his dominious?" The coariers were indignant thai Alexander paid so much honour to the dog Diogenes, who did not even move a step. Alexander, perceiving it, twned and said to them, •• If I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes."

As Diogenes was passing through Eginat, he wasF talien by some pirates, who carried hhn to Crete and exposed him to sale, '^rhis did not at all affect bim; he did not even seem to consider it as a misfortune. Seeing a certain person, named Xeuaide, very fat and well-dressed, "You must sell me to bun, "said he, " for I sec he wants a master/' As Xeuaide ap« proached to bai^in for him, he called out, ** Come, child, come and cheapen a man." Being asked what he could do^ he replied, that he possessed the talent of commanding men. ** Hei'add," said be^ '* proclaim in the market that if any one wants a master he may come and boy me." Those who bad the selling of him, having forbidden brm to sit down, ** Whatdoes it signify? " said Diogenes; " fisb are bought in any posture; and I am astonished that when not even the lid of a kettle is bought without first striking it to see if the metal be good, yet in buying a man it is thought enough to look at him." When the price was fixed, he said to Xeuaide, '* As I am now your slave, you have only to prepare yourself to do^as I wish: I shall be yoiv physician and steward;' therefore it does not signify whether I am a slave or free, you must obey me." Xeuaide gave him his children to instruct: Diogenes took great care of them; he made them learn by heart the finest works of the poeU^^ biooBNisi. ist^

With an abridgment of philosophy which he (jomposed ezpresflly fur them. He liltewise made them ezerciae themselves In wrestling, hwiting, riding, drawing the bow, and slinging. He accustomed them to live simply, and to drink only water; and wished them to forego all superfluities whatsoever. He took them with him in the streets negligently dressed, and often without sandals or tunic. The cblldi*en on their side loved Diogenes very much, and took particular care to recommend him to their parents. Whilst Diogenes was thus in slavery, some of his friends interested themselves to procure his release. "' You are fools," said he, " you are laughing at me: do you not know that the lion is never the slave of those who nourish it? they, on the contrary, a^ the slaves." One day, Diogenes hearing a herald proclaim that Dioxlpe had conquered men in the Olympic games, ** My friend," said he, *' rather say, slaves and unfortunate wretches; it is I who have conquered men." When he was told that he was old and onght to rest, *< What!" said he, " if I run, ought I to slacken my pace near the end of the course? would it not be better to make the greatest efforts at such a time." He saw a young man one day who was walking in the streets, and who, having dropped some bread, was ashamed of picking it up. Diogenes took up a broken bottle and walked with it through the city to let him see that no one ought to be ashamed of being carefuL <' I am like good musicians," said he; " I leave the original air, for the sake of the variations." A man came one day to be his disciple. Diogenes gave hioia ham to cairry; the man beini; 9»ham^ to be seen with Jt4n the streets, threw it down and went away. Diogenes met him some days afterwaifds; '^What," said he, ''has a ham broken our friendship?" He saw one day a womsm prostrated before the altar, in such a manner as to he exposed behind: Diogenes ran to her; " Are you not afraid, my good woman," said he, " that the gods, who see behind as well as before, should see you in an indecent posture?" When Diogenes reflected Upon his life, he said in jest, that all the curses that are inyoked in tragedies had fallen upon him; that he was without house, city, ox coimtry; living merely from hand to mouth; but that he opposed firmness to fortune, nature to customs, and reason to the troubles of the soul. A man came one day. to consult him as to the time at. which it was most proper to eat: " If you are rich," said he, " eat when you like; if poor, when you can."

llie Athenians begged him to get himself initiated into their mysteries, assuring him, that those who were, had the highest places allotted to them in the other world. ** Yes, truly," replied Diogenes; " it would be very fine for.Agesilaus and Epaminondas to stick in the mud, whilst your poor forlorn initiated wretches should be wafted to the Fortunate Islands."

It was his custom to perfume his feet; and when asked the reason, he said, that the smell of the perfume, when put on his head, was lost in the air; instead of which, when he perfumed his feet, it mounted to his nose.

An infomous eunuch having caused it to be written on the door of his oivn house, '* Nothing bod enters here," Diogenes exclaimed, <* Then which way does the master of the house enter?" Some philosophers wishing to prove to him that there was no such thing as motion, Diogenes got up, and began to wallc about. '* What are you doing?" asked one of the philosophers, « Refuting your arguments," replied he. When some one spoke to him of astrology, he as1i:ed him if it was long since he returned from the s1i:y?

Plato having defined man to be a two-legged animal without feathers, Diogenes plucked a cock, and hiding it under his cloak, took it with him to the Academy; then drawing the bird from under his cloak, and throwing it in the midst of the assembly, he exclaimed, « Behold the man of Plato!" Plato was obliged to add to his definition, that this animal had long n^ls.

As IMogenes was passing through Megara, he observed that many of the children were quite naked, but that all the sheep were well covered with wool. '< It is much better," said he, *' to be a sheep here, than a child." One day, when he was eating, he saw some little mice picking up the crumbs under the table. ** Ah!" cried he, " Diogenes nourishes parasites as well as other people do." Coming one day out of the bath, he was asked if there were many men there. He answered, "No." — ** But," said they, ** is there not a great number of people?" — ** Yes," replied he, "a great number of beings of some sort^" He was entreated to go to a festival { but he would not, because he had been at one the ^y before^ and ^ad not been thanked for his company.

A man carrying, a piece of timber inadvertently ran s^inst h^ii, and then called out^ '* Take care!" ** What 1" said Diogenes, '* are you going to strike me again?' Some time afterwards, meeting with a similar adventure, he gave a blow of his stick to the person who ran against him, and said, '' Take care yourself." He was one day feo soaked mth rain, that the water dropped from every part of his cloak. Those who saw him expressed great compassion for his uncomfortable situation; but Plato, who passed by chance, said to them, " If you wislj him to be truly unhappy, you need o^y go away, and not look at him"

A man having one day given him a box on his ear, '< I did not know,'' said he, '' that I ought to walk in the streets wiUi my head armed." Another time, being asked what he would take for a box oi^ his ear, '* A helmet," replied he. Midas, one day, gave him several blows with his fist, saying to him* *' Qp and lament; you shall have three hunilred pounds tQ make you amends." The next day, D|ogepes took an iron gauntlet, and gave Midas a violent blow on the head with it, saying, " Now go yourself and complain; you, shall have the sam^ amends you promised me." Lysias the apothecary asked him if he believed in gods: " How pan I not believe in them? " answered he, *' since I know that they have no other enemies than such as yourself."

Seeing a man washing, in hopes of purifying himself, *' Unfortunate man!" sud he, ''do you not know that, were you to wash till to-morrow^

^at would' neither prefeot fm from making faults in grammar, nor cleanse you from your crimes?" Seeing a tWd in an indecent posture, he ran to his preceptor, and stril^ing him with his stick, asked him why he did not instruct his pupil better. A man showed him one day a horoscope he had been making: '' It is something very fine," said Diogenes, ** but will it prevent mi from dying of hunger?" He blamed those who complained of fortune: " Men j" said he, ' are always asking for what appears good, but never for that which is really so." Diogenes was very well aware that many qiproved his life; but, as few tried to imitate him, he sidd, he was a dog much esteemed; but none of those who praised him had courage enough to follow the chase with him. He reproached those who were terrified at their dreams, with not paying any attention to their thoughts whilst awake, and examining with superstition all that passed in their imaginations whilst asleep. One day, as he was walking, he saw a woman in a litter, and said, ' SO wicked an animal ought not to have sudi a cage." llie Athenians loved and respected Diogenes; they caused a young man to be publicly whipped for breaking his tub, and gave him another. Hearing every body extol the happiness of Calisthenes, who was every day at the table of Alexander, ** As for me/' said Diogenes, <' I think Calisthenes very unfortunate, if it be for nothing but having to dine and svLp every day with Alexander." Crates did every tlting he could to attract him to his court; but Diogenes told him he had much rather eat only dry bread at Atheas, than live sumptuously in his palace.

Perdiccas carried his desire for his society so far^ that he even threatened to kill him, if he would fiotcome and see him. " You will not achieve any great action in doing that," replied Diogenes; *' the least little venomous animal could do the same thing; and, I can assure you, Diogenes wants neither Perdiccas nor his grandeur to enable him to live happily." — ^''▲las!" cried he once, ** the gods are very liberal to grant life to man, but all the pleasures attached to it remain unknown to those who only think of good eating, and pejrfuming themselves." Observing a man having his shoeft put on by a slave, " You will not be content," said he, ' till he wipes your nose: of what use are your hands? " Another time, seeing judges taking away to punishment a man who had stolen a small sum from the public treasury, ' Those are great thieves leading a little one," said he. He compared an ignorant rich man to a sheep covered with a golden fleece. One day he began to scratch himself in the middle of the market: '< Would to the gods!" cried he, ** that by scratching myself I could satisfy my hunger when I choose." Going into a bath, he saw a young man making very skilful but not very modest movements. ** llie better you do," said he, ** the more blameable yon are." Another time, walking through a street, he saw an advertisement on the house of a prodigal, which showed it was to be sold. *' I knew," said he, ** that excessive drunkenness would oblige your master to vomit." One day, a map reproached bioofiNts. 329

Kim wiih hia exile: ''Ah! poor unfortunate man," said Diogenes to him; ' 1 am glad of it — ^it is that which has made me a philosopher." Another said^ a short time afterwards, ' The Synopeans have condemned you to perpetual banishment;" " and I," replied he, "condemn them to remun in their own horrid country, on the shores of the Pontus Euxinus." He oden prayed to statues. When asked the reason, he replied, that it was to accustom himself to be refused. When hli poverty obliged him to b^, he said to the first he met, " If thou haat ever given any thing, do me the same ikvonr; and if thou hast never bestowed any thing before, begin with me.' When asked how Dionysius treated his friends, ** As we doWttles," said he, " which we take care of when full, and throw away when empty." Observing a spendthrift in an mn who only ate olives, he said to him '' If you had always dined thus, you would not now sup so badly. He used to say, that unruly desires were the sources of all the misfortunes that attend the. human species; that virtuous men were like the gods. That the belly was the gulf of life. That a polite discourse was a thread of honey; and that love was only the occupation of idlers. He was one day asked which was the most unfortunate state; '' That of beuig alone, old, and poor," answered he. Liberty he valued as the best thing in the world. When asked what beast bit hardest; « Amongst wild beasts," said he, ' a slanderer, and amongst tame a flatterer." He saw one day some women hanging from olive branches; <* Ah I would to the gods!" cried he, " that all trees bore the sanie fi-uHs!" A man asking him what was the pj-oper age to marry; ** When young," replied Diogenes, ''il is too soon, and when old t<io lAte.'* When asked why gold was soch H pale colour, ** It is because it is so closely allied to en?y," said he. Being pressed to send iftet hi^ slave, Manes, Who had fled, he said, ** It would be very lifSculoufl, that if Manes can do without Diogenes, Diogenes could not do without Manes/'

A certain tyrant having ask«d him what tMxble was the most proper to make a-st&tue ^th, he re* plied, ' That with which those Of Harmodltts and Aristogitohytfie great enemies of tyrants, are made.' One day Plato explained his ideas, and Spoke of the form of a table, and a ghiss. ' I see vei^ plainly a table and a glass,' said Diogenes; 'but I do not know the form of either."—^ That ts very likely," said Plato; " for to- see them- you need only have eyes, but to know the form of (hem yod must have sense.'* IHogenes'beitig asked whait he thought of Socrates, said he Was a fool. Seeing a' young man blush; '^ Courage my child/' said he, " that is th% cdlour of virtue." Two lawyers chose him for theit ai^iter. He condemned them both; oiie because he had stolen what he had been accused ofj the other because he complained of wrong, when he had 'lost nothing that he Would not have stolen from another. He was one day asked why more money was given to cripples than to philosophers. "" It is," replied he, " because those who give'to them expect to become cripples sooner than philosophers." Somebody asked him if he liad no servant. ' No,' replied Diogenes.- plOOENKfll. 2AI

.' Them who wiU bury ypu }" msked the o.ther» ** He who wants my house," replied Diogenes^ A certain man reproached him for having formerly Gained base money: '< It is true,' replied Diogenes, << that I was opce what yon now are; but yov will never be what J am."

He went one day into the school of a certain master who had only very few scholars, but was surrounded with statues of the Muses and the Graces, and other divinities. '' You have a large party of disciples here," said Diogenes, ** if w? reckon their godships in the number." Being asked what country he belonged to^ he replied, that he was a citizen of the world; meaning th|it philosophers ought not to be attached to any country in particular. Happeping to meet a spendthrift one iajf be asked him for a mma: " How!" said the §^ndthrift, ^ do you only ask an qbolus of others, and a jnina of me?" — ' I do," replied Diogenes, *^ for this reason; others may ^ve me something more another time, but I doubt much whether you will ever again have the ability to do so."

BeljDLg asked if death were to be deemed an evil, "How can it be so," he replied, " when we are not even sensible of it when it happens?"

Diogenes saw once, an awkward person who was going to shoot at a target: he ran instantly and put his head before the ipark. He was asked why he did so: ' It is for fear he should hit me," he re-plied. When Diogenes was told that most persons ridiculed him, " What does it signify," answered he, ^Mf I know myself to be laughed at; and perhaps asses mock them, when they grin and show thcff teeth, as if they were laughing." — " But/' said they, ** people do not care for asses.'— " And I," answered he, " care as little for those people." He was asked why he was called dog. ** It is," said he, ^ because I fawn upon those that give to me, that I bark at those that give me nothing, and that I bite the ^cked." Another time he was asked what kind of dog he was. " When I am hungry," said he, "I am of the greyhound kind, I caress every body; but when I am full, I savour of the mastiff, and bite all' I meet," He saw one day Anaximenes the rhetorician^ who was very corpulent: ** Give me a little of your corpulency," said he; " you will do me a great pleasure, and at the same time will free yourself of a heavy incumbrance." When he was reproached for eating in the streets and the markets — ^< It is," ssdd he, << that hunger seizes me in those places as well as every where else." As he returned from Lacedsmonia to Athens he was asked whence he came? '' I come from men," answered he, ** but I return to women." He often compared handsome courtezans to excellent wine mixed with poison. He used to call them the queens of kings, because they obtained from them all they wished. A certain man was admiring the great quantity of presents that was in a temple of Samothracia. ** 'Fhere would be many more," said Diogenes, *^ if all those that >have perished had made offerings, instead of all those that have saved themselves." One day, as he was eating in the middle of a street, several people assembled themselves around him, calling him dog.

OIOGENBf. 2S3

'* It if you that are dog9;^ siUd he; " for jpM 8ur« round a man merely because he is eating." A miserable wrestler, who was starving in his profession, bethought himself at last of turning physician. Dio" genes met him, and laAd, " You have now a fine opportunity of revenging yourself on those that have beaten you formerly." As he was walking one day, he perceived the son of a courtezan throwing stones in the middle of a crowd: " My child," sadd he, ' take care that you do not hit your fathei." A man asked him once for a cloak which he had, that belonged to him. '* If you have given it me," said Diogenes, " it is mine by right; and if you have only lent it me, I am now using it. Wait till I have done with it.** When he was reproached for drinking in public-houses, he used to answer, < If I want shaving, am I not to go to a barber's shop?" He heard one day that a man was praised for having given him alms: " It Is I that ought to be prsuised," said Diogenes, " for having merited them.' When he was asked what profit he had derived from his philosophy, he replied* " If it h[as only enabled me to suffer all the evil that may happen to me, t should have reason to be satisfied.' When he heard that the Athenians had declared Aleitander to be Bacchus, he said to him laughing, ''tVhydo you not make me Serapis?' He was reproved for lodging in dirty places: '* The sun," &£ud he, " shows itself in places that are a great deal more dirty, yet they do not spoil his beams." A certain man said to him, '' tiow tan you, who know nothing, be so bold as' to rank yourself with the philosophers?" — •* Even though I had no other x3

334 bioGitfiM^.

tnerlt," he answered, ** thah that of imitating th« philosopher, that would suffice to prove me one."

One day a young man was introduced to him, in order to become his disciple* His friends said all the good of him imagibable: that he was wise, strictly moral, and abundantly well informed. Diogenes listened very patiently to all that was said. ** As he is so accomplished," answered he, " he does not want me; why, then, do you bring him to me?"

Entering the theatre once, as every body was leaving it, he was asked his reason for so doing: he said it was what he had resolved to do all his life. Dionysius the Tyrant, after having been dethroned, returned to Corinth, where poverty obliged him to teach youth, to prevent himself from stanring.- Diogenes, hearing the children screaming, went one day into his school: Dionysius thought that Diogenes was come to console him in his misery: ' Diogenes," said he, '' I thanlc you. Alas! you see in me an example of the inconstancy of fortune." — ** Wretch!' answered Diogenes, ** 1 am surprised to see you still alive, you who have done so much harm in your kingdom j and I plainly see that you are not a better school-master than you were a king.'* Observing some women who were propitiating the gods, in ordei* that they might have sons; ** You think more (tbout having sons," said he to them, ** than that they may prove honest men." Hearing a young man of highly prepossessing appearance make Use of indecent expi-essions: " Are you not ashAm^," said he, *' to draw a sword of lead from an ivory sheath?" He used to blOOSNBf. 23d

Uy that tlios^ people who exalted virtue, yet nevei' practised it, were like musical instruments, which produced sweet sounds without having any sentiment. A man said to him one day, '* I am not fit for philosophy."—" Why do you Uve, then, miserable wretch!" said he; " since you despair of ever being able to live as you ought?" Another time he perceived a young man doing something very improper. " Are you not ashamed," said he, " thus to abase the manhood which nature gives you?" He used to say, that almost every one lived m servitude; that slaves obeyed their masters, and the mastei-s their passions; that every thing consisted in custom; that a person accustomed to live delightfully in luxury and in pleasures could never withdraw himself from it; and that, on the contrary, to despise a luxurious life was a real pleasure to those who were accustomed to live in a different way. To such a height did he carry his Cynicism, that he considered modesty as a weakness; and he was not ashamed to do the most indecent things in public. " If supping be a good thing," he used to say, ** why not sup as well in the middle of a market as in a room?" He was asked where he would like to be buried when he died. ** In the open plain," said he." — " How!" answered some one; " do you not fear to serve as food for bii-ds of prey and ferocious animals?"— " A stick must be placed near me,'' said Diogenes, " so that I may drive them away when they approach." — " But," said they, " you will not be sensible of it." — ^ Well, then, what will it signify if they devour me," answered Diogenes, " as I shall not feel it?" Some

25^ DIO0ENE8.

say that at ninety yean of age he ate a neat's foot raw, whidi caused so great an indigesti6n, that he died of it. Others say, that finding himsdf grow-^ ing old, he held his breath, ahd in that manner caused his own death by voluntary suffocation. His friends came the next day, and found him enveloped in his cloak: they uncovered him, thinking he was not asleep, for he never slept very soundly; but they found that he was dead. They disputed amongst themselves who was to bury hini, and were very near coming to blows about it; but Che magistrates and elders of Corinth arrit^d in time, and appeased them. Diogenes was interred near the gate which led towards the isthmus. Near his tomb they erected a monument, on which they placed a dog of Parian marble. ' The death of this philosopher happened the same day that Alexander died at Babylon, in the 114tb Olympiad. Diogenes was honoured with several statues, erected to him by private persons after his death, with appropriate inscriptions.