Book I, Part 3, Chapter 1. Against the first Excuse of those who defer changing their Lives, and advancing in Virtue, till another Time

1. There is no doubt, that what we have hitherto said should be more than enough for the obtaining the chief end we have proposed to ourselves, which is to excite men to a sincere love of virtue, Almighty God's assisting grace cooperating; but though all this be true, yet the malice of man is not without its excuses and apparent reasons, either to defend or comfort itself when it does amiss. As Ecclesiasticus affirms in these words : " The sinner will avoid correction, and will find out some excuse, according to his own will;" Eccl. xxxii. 21. And Solomon says to the same purpose, " That he who has a mind to forsake his friend, is seeking out for occasions to do it" (Prov. xviii. 1) ; so the wicked that desire to separate themselves from God have always some excuse or other ready. For some there are we see, that defer this business of salvation to another time ; others, again, defer it till their death ; others say they are afraid of setting on an undertaking so hard and laborious ; some again there are, that comfort themselves with the hope of God's mercy, whilst they persuade themselves, that without charity they may be saved by faith and hope; and others, in fine, enamored with the world, cannot quit the happiness they have in it, even for obtaining of that which God has promised them. These are the most frequent deceits and amusements the enemy of mankind makes use of to

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infatuate men, that he may keep them all their life-time under the slavery of sin, that death may surprise them in that miserable state. We shall now expose those frauds in this last part of the book, and first answer those who put off this grand concern till another time, which is their most frequent practice.

2. Some, therefore, there are, who own all that has been said to be true, and that there is no way so secure as that of virtue, which they design to follow, though they cannot do it at present, but they shall have time enough hereafter, to do it better, and with more ease. St. Augustine tells us, it was thus he answered God before his conversion : " Stay but a little longer, O Lord ; just now, just now, I will leave the world ;" St. Aug. L. 8. Conf. c. 5, Thus the wicked deal continually with God, first appointing one day, and then another, still shifting the time of their conversion.

3. It will be no hard matter to prove, that this is a manifest artifice of the old serpent, who has been very well used to lying and deceiving of men ; and this once made out and granted, all the controversy ceases. For we are already convinced there is nothing in this world which every Christian ought to desire more than his salvation, and that for the obtaining it, a sincere conversion and a perfect amendment of life is absolutely necessary ; for without these there is not salvation to be expected. What we have, therefore, to do is, to see when this conversion ought to be. All the business at present is the appointing of the time ; as to the rest, it is what every body is agreed on. You say you will begin your conversion very shortly ; I say you are to begin it at this very moment. You say it will be easier to do it hereafter ; I say, it will be easier to do it now. Let us see which of the two is in the right.

4. But before we speak of the easiness of conversion, I desire you will tell me, who is it that has given you security for an after conversion? How many do you think have been deceived by this hope ? St. Gregory tells us, " that God, who has promised to pardon a sinner if he does penance, has not promised that he shall live till to-morrow;" Homil. 12. in Evang. St. Casarius has something to the same purpose : " Somebody perhaps will say, When I come to be old, then I will make use of the physic of penance. How can human weakness have the impudence to presume so far of itself, when it has not so much as the promise of one day?" St. Csesar. Homil. 13. Tom. 2. Biblioth. Patr. As for my part, I cannot but think that the number of those souls that have been lost by this means is infinite. It was thus the rich man in the gospel was damned for ever. St. Luke says of him, that seeing he had as good a crop one year as he could have desired, he began to consider with himself, and to say, " Wliat shall I do because I have no room where to bestow my fruits ? And he said, this will I do ; I will pull down my barns, and will build greater : and into them will I gather all things that are grown to me, and my goods. And I will say to my soul: Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years, take thy rest, eat, drink, make good cheer." Luke xii. 17, 18, 19, 20. But, as this unfortunate wretch was computing what he was worth, he heard a voice which said to him, " Thou fool, this night do they require thy soul of thee : and whose shall those things be which thou hast provided ?" What greater folly then can there be, than for a man to dispose of hereafter, with as much authority as if he had time itself in his own hands, whereas there is none but God that can dispose of it ? St. John says of God, " He has the keys of death and life," to open and to shut them when and on whom he thought fit ; with what face, then, can a vile worm dare to usurp such a power ? This insolence alone deserves for its punishment never to have an opportunity of doing penance for the future, that so the fool may pay for his folly, in not taking his advantage of the time God gave him.

5. And since the number of persons who meet with this kind of punishment is so great, it will be but prudent to learn to be wise at other men's expenses, and to let their misfortunes teach us how to secure ourselves pursuant to this wholesome advice of Ecclesiasticus : " My son, defer not thy conversion to God, and do not put it off from day to day. For his wrath will come on a sudden, and will destroy thee in the day of his vengeance." Ecclus. v. 8, 9.

§ I. — But after all, put the case that you shall live as long as you imagine ; whether do you think it will be easier to begin from this very moment to amend your life, or to defer it till another time? For the clearer understanding of this point, we will sum up, in short, the chief reasons which make a present conversion seem so difficult. The difficulty does not proceed from those obstacles which men fancy, but from the bad habit of their wicked lives past, which they had rather die than change. For this reason St. Jerome said, " That which makes the way of virtue so hard and narrow, is the long custom of sinning ; because custom, being a second nature, there is no overcoming it, without overcoming nature herself, which is the greatest victory a man can possibly gain;"Epist. 14. ad Celentian. And, therefore, St. Bernard tells us, " That when once any vice is well rooted by a custom of many years' standing, there is no overcoming it without a very extraordinary, nay, even miraculous assistance of the Almighty's;" St. Bern. c. 47. *De Modo Bene Vivendi. So that a Christian ought, on this consideration, to be afraid of nothing more than a bad habit in any vice ; because vices, in some manner, claim prescription, as well as the affairs of the world ; and when once they have got so far as this, you will find it no easy matter to overcome them, unless, as St. Bernard says, " God assists you by his particular grace."

7. Another cause of this difficulty is, the power of the devil, who has an absolute command over a soul in sin. He is the strong man in arms the gospel speaks of, that keeps all he has in his power with such care and security ; Luke xv. This difficulty also proceeds from the Almighty's withdrawing himself from the soul polluted with sin. For though he stands sentinel on the walls of Jerusalem, yet he retires still further from a soul in sin, as the number of its sins increases. And what miseries and afflictions a soul is oppressed with, on account of this separation, we may learn from God himself, who has declared by the mouth of one of his prophets, "Wo be to them, because they have departed from me;" Osee vii. 13. And in another chapter he says, "Wo be to them, whensoever I shall depart from them" (ch. ix. 12.), which is the second wo St. John speaks of in his Apocalypse, ch. xi.

8. The last cause of this difficulty is the corruption of the faculties of our soul, which are very much impaired by sin, not, indeed, in themselves, but in their operations and effects. For as vinegar corrupts and sours wine, as worms rot the fruit, and in fine, one contrary spoils another, just so is sin the greatest enemy the soul has, and the thing which is most directly opposite to her, spoils and ruins all her powers and faculties : for sin darkens the understanding, weakens the will, disorders the appetite, and makes the free-will more infirm and less able to govern itself, and the operations that belong to it, though it can never entirely lose either its being or its liberty. Now these faculties of the soul being the instruments our soul makes use of for the doing any good, and the wheels of the clock, which is a virtuous and regular life, if these wTheels and instruments are out of order, what can be expected from them but disorder and trouble ? These, therefore, are the chief causes of this difficulty, and they all of them originally spring from sin, and increase in proportion to the crimes we commit.

9. The case being thus, how can you possibly imagine that your conversion and the reformation of your life will be easier to you, when the continual increase of your sins shall have increased the occasion of these difficulties ? It is certain the greater the number your sins shall be, the less you will be disposed to leave them : nay, your deferring will but give the devil a greater power over you, and oblige God to withdraw himself so much the further from you. Hereafter your soul will be the more depraved of all its powers and faculties. Now, if this difficulty arise from these causes, what man of sound judgment will ever fancy that, when the causes of it increase on all sides, it will be less troublesome to remove them than when they are fewer ?

10. For it is evident that, if you continue every d*y *o commit new sins, you will in time add other knots to those you were tied clown by before : you will increase the chains that bound you, by adding other new ones to them, and make the weight you groaned under before much more heavy : hereafter the habit . of sin will blind the understanding, make the will less able to do any thing that is good, strengthen the appetite in its desire of evil, and render the free-will more weak in defending itself. Since, therefore, things stand thus, how can you persuade yourself you shall find less trouble in this business hereafter ? If you say, you cannot pass over this ford- till it grows deeper, how will you be able to get over when it has swelled into a rapid stream ? If you find it so hard a matter to pluck up the plants of your vices when they are but newly set, how much more troublesome will it be to remove them when they shall have taken deep root? that is, if now, whilst your vices have but little force, you say you cannot overcome them, how shall you be able to get the better of them when they are more fixed and strengthened ? You have now perhaps a hundred vices to fight with, and some time hence you may have a thousand ; now perhaps you resist bad habits of a year or two standing ; hereafter perhaps they will be of ten. Who tells you, that you may with more ease carry your burden hereafter, when you have added a deal more weight to it, since you are not able to carry it without stooping now ? How can you be so blind as not to see that all these are the artifices and deceits of a bad paymaster, who puts you off from time to time, because he has no mind to discharge the debt ? How can you choose but see that these are the impostures of the old serpent, who by his lies seduced our first parent, and is continually endeavoring to play the same trick on us ?

11. If this be true, how can you imagine that these difficulties, which seem impossible to break through now, should become much easier when their strength and number is increased ? How can a man think, that the more his crimes are, the easier it will be to get a pardon ; or that the cure will be the easier, when the disease is grown more desperate ? Have you never read in Ecclesiasticus, " that an old disease puzzles the physician, whereas that which is taken in the beginning is soon cured" ? Eccl. x. 11, 12. This kind of cheat was discovered by an angel to one of the holy fathers of the desert, as we read in their lives ; for, taking him by the hand, he led him into a field, and there showed him a man that was gathering faggots : after he had made up a great bundle, he endeavored to carry it away on his shoulder, and finding it too heavy for him, he fell to cutting again, to make his bundle still bigger ; but perceiving himself less able to carry it now than he was before, he went on, nevertheless, a third time to increase his former bundle, imagining that adding more to it was the way to make it lighter. The holy man wondering at what he saw, the angel told him that those men were guilty of no less folly, who, finding themselves unable to bear up under the weight of their sins, which press so heavily on them, yet increase their load every day, by heaping sin on sin, supposing they shall be better able to carry the load hereafter, when it shall be much bigger, though they cannot carry it now.

12. Amongst all these things, which are such hinderance to our conversion, what shall I say of the force of ill custom in particular, and of the power it has to keep us in our sins ? For it is certain, that as a man, when he is striking in a nail, drives it the farther every stroke he gives, and that the deeper it goes, the harder it is to be plucked out again ; in the same manner, every bad action we do is like a fresh stroke with a hammer, that drives our vices deeper into our souls, and by degrees fixes them so fast there, that it is as much as man can do to get them out again. This is the reason why so many persons, who spent their youth in debauchery and vice, are frequently subject to the same sins even in their old age, though their years and the weakness of nature itself have cast them off. So that, when nature is quite tired and worn out with sin, custom still runs in the same track, and makes this sort of men seek after pleasures, which they are out of all possibility of enjoying : so tyrannical and arbitrary is the power which evil custom alone exercises over those that are carried away by it. For this reason, we read in the book of Job, " That the bones of a wicked man shall be filled with the sins of his youth, and that they shall sleep with him in the dust ;" Job xx. 11. By this we may see that such kind of vices as these have no other end but death, the common end of all things ; nor do they end here, but continue for all eternity ; and, therefore it is said, they sleep with him in the dust. For an old custom, which is changed into nature, imprints the very inclinations to vice so deep into the bones and marrow, that, like a slow fever in a phthisical man, it sets the very bowels into a flame, and makes him quite despair of any ease or comfort. This is what our Saviour himself has taught us by his raising of Lazarus to life again, after he had been dead four days : it was with cries and a great many tears that he raised him, notwithstanding he had with much ease restored several dead to life before. This was to give us to understand, what a miraculous work it was for God to raise a man to life, that had been four days dead and almost corrupted ; that is, who had been a long time accustomed to sin, and habituated in it. For, according to St. Augustine's exposition, the first of these four days is the pleasure of the sin, the second is the consent given to it, the committing of it the third, and the fourth is the custom of sinning ; and he that has once arrived to this degree, is the Lazarus that has been four days dead, that cannot be restored to life again but by our Saviour's sighs and tears.

13. This plainly demonstrates how difficult that man makes his conversion, who always puts it off from time to time, and how, the longer he defers, the more painful he makes it. It is, therefore, a folly and deceit in those men who say, it will be much easier for them to amend their lives hereafter, than it is at present.

§ II. — 14. But let us put the case now, that all fall out as you imagine, and that your hopes meet with no disappointment : yet what will you say to all the time you lose before your conversion, in which you might merit such mighty treasures? What folly would it be, to speak according to the world, for a man, when the town was taken by storm, and the soldiers plundering up and down, and loading themselves with wealth, to be playing in the market among the children: your folly is much greater; for whilst the just are busying themselves on good works, that they may, by virtue of them, purchase the kingdom of heaven, you lose this opportunity, and spend your time in the follies and trifles of the world.

15. And what will you say, not only to those goods you lose, but to the evils you commit in the mean time ? Is it not certain, as Saint Augustine says, " That a man ought not, for the world, to commit one venial sin?" Lib. 4. Samendaciud. c. 1. How can you then consent so easily to commit so many mortal during all this time, when you ought not to commit any one sin whatsoever, though it were for the salvation of a thousand worlds ? How can you dare to sin against and provoke him to wrath, at whose gates you must knock, at whose feet you are to fall, from whose hands you are to expect your eternal lot, whose mercy you pretend to obtain at last by your sighs and tears ? How can you dare, with so much treachery, to offend him whom you will one day stand so much in need of, and whom you must expect to find so much the less favorable to you, as you shall have offended him the more? Against such persons as these, St. Bernard reasons excellently well, when he says, " Tell me now, you who reckon so falsely, continuing still in your evil courses, whether you think that God will pardon you your sins or not. If you imagine he will not, what greater folly than to sin on without hopes of pardon ? And if you persuade yourself he is so good and merciful as to pardon you, notwithstanding you have so frequently offended him, tell me what greater ingratitude and malice can there be, than to make that the occasion of offending, which ought to excite you the more strongly to love him V How can a man answer this argument ?

What will you say of the tears, the sins you now commit will cost you hereafter ? For if God should call and visit you hereafter (and your condition will be very miserable if he does not), be assured that every mouthful you eat now will be more bitter to you than gall, that every sin you have committed will cost you 27 S2 continual tears, and that you will, one day, wish you had suffered a thousand deaths rather than have offended so good a God. The time king David spent in unlawful pleasures was but short, and yet his grief and sorrow for it was such, that he himself tells us, " Every night I will wash my bed, and water my couch with my tears ;" Ps. vi. 7. His tears flowed from him with such excess, that St. Jerome's translation, instead of saying, " I will wash my bed," renders it, " I will make my bed swim in my tears ;" to give us a lively representation of those streams that flowed from his eyes, because he had not observed the law of God. Why then will you spend your time in sowing such seed as can never bring you any other fruit but tears ?

16. You ought further to consider, that you do not only sow tears for the future, but raise difficulties to obstruct a good life, through the settled habit of living ill. For as a lingering distemper is scarce ever so perfectly cured, but that it leaves some of its ill symptoms behind, even so does the habit of sin, which is of long continuance, weaken a man on that side, and expose him the more to the attacks of his mortal enemy. Moses made the children of Israel drink the very ashes of the calf they had adored, in punishment of their crime ; Exod. xxxii. 20. The ordinary punishment Almighty God inflicts for some kjrnd of sins is, to permit them, by a just judgment, to remain in our very bones, as if we had drank them up, and to let them become our executioners which were the idols we adored before.

17. Add to all this, the bad choice and distribution you make in setting apart old age to do penance, and suffering the prime and flower of your years to slip away, without making any advantage of it. What folly would it be for a man, who has many beasts of burthen, and several loads to put on them, to lay all on the weakest beast and to let the rest go light ? Such is the folly of those who leave the whole burthen of penance for their old age to carry, and let their youth and vigorous days pass away without laying any weight on them ; whereas youth is fitter to bear this load than old age, which is scarce able to support itself. It was a good saying of the great philosopher Seneca, " That whoever defers his being virtuous till he comes to be old, does as good as tell us, he will spend no other time on virtue but that which is good for nothing else ;" Sen. lib. de Brevitate vitae, c. 15. Consider, further, how great this satisfaction is, which the divine Majesty requires for those offences committed against him. This satisfaction is so great, as St. John Climachus tells us, " That man can scarce satisfy to-day for the sins of to-day, and so balance his daily account." Why then will you be all your life-time increasing your debts, and defer the payment of them to old age, which will have enough to do to wipe off its own scores ? This crime is so heinous, that St. Gregory looks on it as a sort of treason. That man (says he) comes very short of the allegiance he owes to God, who expects old age to do penance in. Nay, he has much reason to fear his falling into the hands of justice, for having presumed so rashly on mercy." Grad. 5.

§ III. — 18. But let us put the case now, that nothing of what we have said happens ; yet, if there be any honesty, and reason or justice in the world, is not the greatness of the benefits you have received, and of the glory you have a promise of, a sufficient motive to make you less sparing of the time you spend in the service of him who has been so liberal in rewarding you ? It was with a deal of reason Ecclesiasticus said : " Let nothing hinder you from praying at all times, and be not afraid of doing justice even unto death, because the reward which God gives remains forever ;" Eccl. xviii. 22. If, therefore, the continuance of the reward be so long, why should you desire your service to end so soon ? If the reward is to remain as long as God shall remain in heaven, why should not your service continue as long as you live on earth ? Your whole life, at best, is but one small point, and yet you will cut off the two thirds of it, and leave God no more than a mere puff or breath.

19. Besides^ all this, if you Tiave any hopes of your salvation, you are to suppose that God has predestinated you from all eternity for this salvation. If, then, God has been so forward as to love you from all eternity, to make you a Christian, to adopt you for one of his children, and to make you an heir of his kingdom, how can you neglect to love him till the end of your days, who has loved you from all eternity, which has no beginning ? How can you resolve to do him so little service, who has resolved to confer so many favors on you? It is but reasonable that, since the reward is to last forever, the service should do so too, if it be possible. But since it can last no longer than life, why will you, out of so short a space, take so much time which would have been spent in God's service, leaving him so little, and that the worst part of it. For, as Seneca says, " The little that is left at the bottom of a vessel is nothing but dregs." Thus you see how small a share you have for God : " Cursed be the deceitful man," says God to his prophet Malachy, " who has a male in his flock, and yet sacrifices an infirm creature to me ; because I am a great King, says the Lord of hosts, and my name is terrible amongst the nations ;" Mai. i. 14. As if he had said more plainly, There are none but great services due to so great a Lord as I am, and it is an affront to such a majesty to offer it the refuse of any thing. Why, therefore, do you reserve the better and more beautiful part of your life for the service of the devil, and are willing to give God no other part but what the world will not accept of? God has said, " There shall not be in your house a greater measure and a less, but your weight shall be true and just ;" Deut. xxv.

14, 15. And yet, in contradiction to this law, you will keep two unequal measures, a great one for the devil, whom you treat as your friend, and another very little one for God, whom you deal with as an enemy.

20. Above all this, I earnestly desire, that if these benefits cannot move, you would at least reflect on the inestimable favor the eternal Father has conferred on you, in giving you his only begotten Son to redeem your soul, by laying down that life which was worth infinitely more than all the lives of men and angels together ; so that, had you all those lives in yourself, and an infinite number more, you ought to give them all to him that has given his life ; and yet all this would be too small a return for it. On what account, with what face, and by what privilege, can you refuse him, who has laid down so precious a life for you, such a poor and miserable one as yours is ? What is worse, you take away the best and most noble part of it, and leave him nothing but the lees and dregs.

21. We will conclude this chapter as Solomon ends his Ecclesiastes, where he exhorts man to be mindful of his Creator in his youth, and not to put off a business of such concern till old age comes on, which is unfit for any kind of corporal labors ; and whose infirmities and inabilities he describes under obscure and wonderful parables. " Remember," says he, " thy Creator in the days of thy youth, before the time of affliction comes and the years approach, of which thou mayst say, they do not please me ; before the sun and light, with the moon and stars, grow dark, when the guards of the house," that is to say, the hand, " shall tremble ; when the stoutest persons shall quake," that is to say, the legs, which bore all the weight of this building ; " when there shall be but few teeth left, and those quite useless ; and when those faculties, which see through the windows of the eyes, shall grow dark: when they shall shut the gates in the street," because the organs and instruments of all the other senses will fail too ; " and when a man shall awake at the crowing of the cock," by reason of the little sleep men generally take when they are at this age ; " when all the daughters of music shall become deaf," because all the vessels, which form the voice, shrink up and grow narrow ; " when there is no strength left for to go upright, nor to walk in a rugged or slippery way ;" when, on the contrary, ic a man is apt to stumble upon smooth and even ground ; when the almond tree shall be blossomed," that is, when the head shall be covered with gray hairs ; " when there shall be nobody left to carry the burden, be it ever so light and easy ; when man shall be deprived of all things," because the faculties of the soul, where the seat of the appetites is, grow weaker and weaker every day ; for man shall go to the house of his eternity," which is the grave, "and his friends shall go up and down in the streets to bewail him ; when," in fine, " The. dust shall return to its earth, from whence it came, and the spirit shall go towards God that gave it ;" Eccl. xii. 8. Thus far Solomon.

22. Follow, therefore, this advice: remember your Creator whilst you are yet young, and do not put off doing penance to those heavy years when nature itself fails, and the vigor of all the senses weakens and decays, and man is fitter to supply the defects of nature, by making much of himself, than to embrace the toils and hardships of penance, when virtue seems rather a necessity than a choice, and when vices gain a reputation by us, because they quit us sooner than we quit them ; though, for the most part, we are the same when we grow old as we were when young, according to the saying of Ecclesiasticus : " How shall you find in your old age what you never laid up in your youth ?" Eccl. xxv. 5.

23. This is the wholesome advice we have from Solomon ; and Ecclesiasticus gives us the same, when he says, " You shall confess and praise- God whilst you are alive ; wThilst you are alive and in good health you shall praise God, and you shall be glorified in his mercies;" Eccl. xvii. 27. It is a very mysterious thing, that all of the sick that were near the pool, he who first went in after the motion of the waters, found a most certain cure (John v. 4), to give us to understand, that all our salvation depends on our ready compliance with and submission to the Almighty's inward motions. Run, therefore, and make all the haste you can ; " And if," as the prophet says, " you shall hear the voice of God to-day" (Ps. xciv. 8), do not put off your answer till to-morrow, but begin from this very moment the work of your salvation, which you will find so much easier to finish, as you shall begin the sooner.