Stanza X
Note
THE soul, having reached this degree of love, resembles a sick man exceedingly wearied, whose appetite is gone, and to whom his food is loathsome, and all things annoyance and trouble. Amidst all things that present themselves to his thoughts, or feelings, or sight, his only wish and desire is health; and everything that does not contribute thereto is weariness and oppressive. The soul, therefore, in pain because of its love of God, has three peculiarities. Under all circumstances, and in all affairs, the thought of its health— that is, the Beloved — is ever present to it; and though it is obliged to attend to them because it cannot help it, its heart is ever with Him. The second peculiarity, namely, a loss of pleasure in everything, arises from the first. The third also, a consequence of the second, is that all things become wearisome, and all affairs full of vexation and annoyance.
The reason is that the palate of the will having touched and tasted of the food of the love of God, the will instantly, under all circumstances, regardless of every other consideration, seeks the fruition of the Beloved. It is with the soul now as it was with Mary Magdalene, when in her burning love she sought Him in the garden. She, thinking Him to be the gardener, spoke to Him without further reflection, saying: ' If thou hast taken Him hence, tell me where thou hast laid Him, and I will take Him away/1 The soul is under the influence of a like anxiety to find Him in all things, and not finding Him immediately, as it desires — but rather the very reverse — not only has no pleasure in them, but is even tormented by them, and sometimes exceedingly so: for such souls suffer greatly in their intercourse with men and in the transactions of the world, because these things hinder rather than help them in their search.
The bride in the Canticle shows us that she had these three peculiarities when seeking the Bridegroom. ‘ I sought Him and found Him not; the keepers that go about the city found me, they struck me and wounded me: the keepers of the walls took away my cloak.'2 The keepers that go about the city are the affairs of this world, which, when they ' find ' a soul seeking after God, inflict upon it much pain, and grief, and loathing; for the soul not only does not find in them what it seeks, but rather a hindrance. They who keep the wall of con templation, that the soul may not enter — that is, evil spirits and worldly affairs — take away the cloak of peace and the quiet of loving contemplation. All this inflicts infinite vexation on the soul enamoured of God; and while it remains on earth without the vision of God, there is no relief, great or small, from these afflictions, and the soul therefore continues to complain to the Beloved, saying:
Quench Thou my troubles,
For no one else can soothe them;
And let mine eyes behold Thee,
For , Thou art their light,
And I will keep them for Thee alone.
HERE the soul continues to beseech the Beloved to put an end to its anxieties and distress — none other than He can do so — and that in such a way that its eyes may behold Him; for He alone is the light by which they see, and there is none other but He on whom it will look.
' Quench Thou my troubles.'
- The desire of love has this property, that every thing said or done which does not become that which the will loves, wearies and annoys it, and makes it peevish when it sees itself disappointed in its desires. This and its weary longing after the vision of God is here called ' troubles/ These troubles nothing can remove except the possession of the Beloved; hence the soul prays Him to quench them with His presence, to cool their feverishness, as the cooling water him who is wearied by the heat. The soul makes use of the expression ' quench/ to denote its sufferings from the fire of love.
' For no one else can soothe them/
- The soul, in order to move and persuade the Beloved to grant its petition, says, ' As none other but Thou can satisfy my needs, do Thou quench my troubles/ Remember here that God is then close at hand, to com fort the soul. and to satisfy its wants, when it has and seeks no satisfaction or comfort out of Him. The soul that finds no pleasure out of God cannot be long unvisited by the Beloved.
' And let mine eyes behold Thee/
- Let me see Thee face to face with the eyes of the soul,
' For Thou art their light.'
- God is the supernatural light of the soul, without which it abides in darkness. And now, in the excess of its affection, it calls Him the light of its eyes, as an earthly lover, to express his affection, calls the object of his love the light of his eyes. The soul says in effect in the foregoing terms, ' Since my eyes have no other light, either of nature or of love, but Thee, let them behold Thee, Who in every way art their light.' David was regretting this light when he said in his trouble, ' The light of mine eyes, and the same is not with me; '3 and Tobias, when he said, ' What manner of joy shall be to me who sit in darkness, and see not the light of heaven ?'4 He was longing for the clear vision of God; for the light of heaven is the Son of God; as St. John saith in the Apocalypse: ' And the city needeth not sun, nor moon to shine in it; for the glory of God hath illuminated it, and the Lamb is the lamp thereof/5
' And I will keep them for Thee alone/
- The soul seeks to constrain the Bridegroom to let it see the light of its eyes, not only because it would be in darkness without it, but also because it will not look upon anything but on Him. For as that soul is justly deprived of this divine light if it fixes the eyes of the will on any other light, proceeding from anything that is not God, for then its vision is confined to that object; so also the soul, by a certain fitness, deserves the divine light, if it shuts its eyes against all objects whatever, to open them only for the vision of God.
Footnotes
Chapter 13 of 41