Letter 14. To Dona Juana de Pedraca

A Penitent of the Holy Father in Granada

JESUS

Be in your soul. I give Him thanks that He has given me the grace not to forget the poor, and not to take my ease, as you say. It would pain me much if I thought you believe what you say. It would be an evil return after so much kindness, when I deserve none. All that is wanting now is that I should forget you ; but consider how that is to be forgotten which is ever present to the soul. But as you are now in the darkness and emptiness of spiritual poverty, you think that all things and all men are failing you ; nor is this wonderful, since you think God Himself fails you. But nothing fails you, nor have you need of any counsel, there is no reason why you should, you will learn nothing, you will find none, for all is groundless suspicion. He who desires nothing but God does not walk in darkness, however blind and poor he may think himself to be ; and he who indulges in no presumptuous thoughts, nor seeks his own satisfaction either in God or in creatures, who does not serve his own will in anything, is in no danger of falling, or in any need of counsel.

You are in the right path, my daughter ; be resigned, and be glad. What ! are you to undertake to guide yourself ? You would do it well, no doubt. You have never been in a better state than now, for you have never been so humble, so submissive ; you have never held yourself, and the things of the world, in greater contempt ; you have never seen yourself to be so bad, nor God to be so good ; you have never served Him so purely and disinterestedly as now. You are not running after the imperfections of your own will, seeking self, as perhaps you once did. What do you mean ? What manner of life and conversation do you propose to your self in this world ? In what do you imagine the service of God to consist, except in abstaining from evil, keeping His commandments, and doing His work as well as we can. When you do this, what need have you to seek here and there for other instructions, other lights, other consolations, in which ordinarily lurk many snares and dangers to the soul, which is deceived and deluded by its appetites and perceptions : its very faculties lead it astray.

It is a great grace of God when He so darkens and impoverishes the soul that the senses cannot deceive it. And that it may not go astray, it has nothing to do but to walk in the beaten path of the law of God and of the Church, living solely by faith, dim and true, in certain hope and perfect charity, looking for all its blessings inheaven ; living here as pilgrims, beggars, exiles, orphans, desolate, possessing nothing, and looking for everything above.

Rejoice, then, and put your trust in God, Who has given you these tokens ; you CAN do so ; nay, you ought to do so. If not, you must not be surprised if He should be angry when He finds you so dull, seeing that He has placed you in so safe a path, and led you to so secure a haven. Desire nothing but this, and bend your soul to it, which is in a good and safe condition, and go to communion as usual. Go to confession when you have some definite matter, and speak of that only. When you have anything to say to me write, and that promptly and frequently, which you can always do through dona Ana, if not through the nuns.

I have been somewhat unwell, but am now much better. Fr. John Evangelist,* however, is still suffering. Recommend him to God, and me also, my daughter in our Lord.

FR. JOHN OF THE CROSS.

From SEGOVIA : Oct. i2th, 1589.