XIX. To an English superioress

A nun belonging to a community to which Dom Marmion was preaching the annual retreat attracted his attention. She was a woman of lively intelligence and wide culture. Dom Marmion found her docile to his guidance and capable of progress in the spiritual life to avery high degree; and he undertook the direction of her soul. Hence the importance of the letters to follow, which reveal to us the spiritual master in action. Dom Marmion makes known here what he means by direction. In fulfilling a task that he feels he has received from Christ, he shows a sure authority and a paternal solicitude. We are brought to recognize here a true spiritual friendship at a high level, one in which the director himself ts enriched by the soul he ts leading with the help of God’s enlightenment. “I regard you as one of my fastest and sincerest friends, and on my side this is quite mutual”

(December 12, 1909). What a pity that the answers from the mysterious correspondent have not survived!

The sisters in religion of this deceased nun have been good enough to lend us these letters for publication, but on the express condition that no allusion be made which could identify the nun herself, or her house. Thus there are many omissions in the text we are going to read — too numerous, even, for us to indicate them each time by ellipsis marks; but we can assure the reader that none of the essential doctrine has been omitted — and this, after all, 1s the important point.

Dom Marmion preaches total surrender to God, placing one’s soul without reserve in His hands: the self-effacement of the soul before Christ, in whom it should live, according to St. Paul, who 1s constantly quoted by him. He had a particular love for this saying of the Apostle: “Gladly will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me” (II Cor. 12:9). If he had taken a too human interest in this soul, he would have given a different reply to her repeated protestations of wretchedness and unworthiness.

We have thought it important to throw as much light as possible on the story of this spiritual correspondence by publishing for the first time an English translation of the account this religious wrote in French on January 6, 1938, for Dom Raymond Thibaut.

Feast of the Epiphany, 1938. You have asked me, Reverend Father, for my impressions concerning dear Dom Columba of holy memory. I have written them in French, hoping thereby you may be able to make out better my bad writing. He came to us for the first time in 1906. He was then Prior at Louvain. I had had some difficulty in arranging for him to preach us a retreat before our Renewal of Vows. I remember the first interview with him in the parlor. What struck me specially in him was his kindness, a simplicity that immediately put one at ease with him, combined with a sympathetic understanding that greatly helped one to open one’s heart. In the course of our conversation, so spontaneous on his side, I was impressed by the breadth of his views; more than anything else, I felt myself really in the presence of a man of God who was filled with supernatural life. It seemed so easy for him to give himself to those souls who approached him with sincerity; and he made them feel the interest he took in them. The frankness that characterized him inspired others with a great confidence to be equally frank with him. He was very Irish in the quickness of his answers and full of the spontaneous humor that marks his race.

I remember that during this first interview I ventured to tell him that one of our older nuns, who was very devoted to the Jesuit Order to which a dearly loved brother belonged, had been somewhat hurt by certain criticisms of the “Method of St. Ignatius,” coming as they did from a religious, and I asked him to avoid anything similar. 1 feared that this request was somewhat daring, but I was immediately reassured by his answer: “Well, Mother, I shall be as Jesuit as a Benedictine can be’; and he talked to me about his great respect for the Society of Jesus. I saw for myself later how groundless had been my fears and how unnecessary my remark. There was no narrow-mindedness in Dom Columba. He was far removed from those “who have only their own interests in view.” He had a special, fatherly love for those who seek to further God’s Kingdom, quite understanding that each religious order 1s born of a thought from God.

The conferences that he gave three times a day during this triduum were for me and for many others a real revelation. He gave us all his beautiful doctrine and we felt as if raised toward God by some tidal wave. For the rest of my life I shall never forget his conferences on the Divinity of Jesus Christ. It seemed to me that, although I had believed it as an article of faith, I had never realized it before to such a degree. I went to make my Way of the Cross and at each station I was seized by the thought: “And He who suffers so, who was thus treated .. .1s God.” It was a new revelation to me. Father Columba’s lively faith had a power of imparting itself to others which one finds only in the saints.

This triduum was the beginning of a relationship between him and our community which was to last until his death. His visits were always occasions of grace for our souls and strengthened our appreciation of his doctrine as well as our veneration for him. His humility was remarkable. This theologian, whose writings are comparable to those of the Doctors of the Church, which have been admired and praised by popes, this monk who is rightly called “A Master of the Spiritual Life,” humbly sought the opinion of others, and, what is more, followed it even when experience had shown that the criticisms so humbly accepted by him were entirely unfounded. It seems to me that there was a great affinity between him and St. Teresa of Jesus.

Dom Columba admitted quite openly that he was very sensitive, an inborn characteristic of the Celts. But he offered the suffering which re- sulted from this sensitiveness wholeheartedly to God and never allowed it to degenerate into resentment. There was never an interval between the pain his sensitive nature suffered and the forgiveness that sprang from his loving heart. His forgiveness was complete, as is that of God himself.

We recently received a visit from a father of his Order who had known Dom Columba well, and he spoke of him with enthusiasm. “I have never,” he said, “met a man with a more remarkable spirit of obedience; — he was steeped in it.I knew him as prior at Louvain, and I was struck by the manner in which he loved to bring out that he owed obedience in all things and at all times to his Abbot: If Father Abbot approves — If Father Abbot permits —I will ask permission of Father Abbot. One might have thought him a novice in his attitude of dependence, and he had gloried in this state of subjection. It was to obey that he entered religion, and in obedience that he found his happiness.”

He once told me with great simplicity about an occasion when obedience was really hard to accept, since it concerned a soul whom he had promised to help. To succeed in obeying he made an act of humility as the saints do, and went off full of confidence in God and entirely submissive to his superior who represented Him. A few minutes later he received the permission that had been previously refused.

Dom Columba had certainly received magnificent natural gifts; but such gifts are not virtues, and those so noteworthy in him were not acquired without effort. In July of 1916 he wrote to me: “You know, sensitiveness 1s an Irish fault; I had to combat it for many years.” Thus imperfect souls, tempted and discouraged, found in him a compassionate kindness, a tenderness that reflected the kindness and tenderness of the Heart of Jesus. To a soul greatly tried he wrote: “I suffer with you, for you are very dear to me; but I offer you to Him since He wishes it. You are dearer to me than ever in your time of suffering, but I offer you to Him, since this suffering is willed by Him. Unless you embrace not only His Cross, but also His humiliations, you will never be entirely His, and you will never taste either His joy or His peace. He plumbed the depth of tribulation; He suffered more than any man ever suffered; but He embraced 1t, He loved humiliation because it was His Father’s will. That ts what I want for you; that 1s what He asks of you.” We have here the combination of kindness and firmness which supposed complete generosity on his part. He spoke to souls, as he said himself, directly, straightforwardly.

I have sent you, Reverend Father, the letters I received from him. All that he taught, he lived; and thts is also the impression of those who, having known him, read the outstanding spiritual teaching contained in his works. One feels that it 1s not all the result of study or speculation, but that it has been dictated by his heart and has sprung from a living source. Dom Columba’s writings make him known better than anything that could be written about him.

Pax Mont-César, Louvain. 19 April 1906. My dear Rev. Mother,

Since my return from A ... I have not had a moment free, or I should have written you a line ere this. I was very happy at A.... I think Our Lord means me to take a very special interest in your Houses. I love the spirit of your Rule; and feel that when perfectly understood and lived up to, it can lead to the highest sanctity.

As for yourself, I have prayed for you daily since I left. Believe me, my dear child, Our Lord wishes to be everything for you and in you; that is why He allows you to be so J/ittle in yourself. Try and assimilate St. Paul’s magnificent theology. It is just what your soul wants. You are a capacity, at present almost empty, and Our Lord wants to fill it. I should advise you to read the beautiful little commentary on St. Paul’s Epistles by “a Piconio.” It is translated into French, (Pichini), and perhaps into English. I should like you to read the life of the holy Martyr “St. John Perboyre” Lazariste, by a member of the same Congregation. His whole spiritual life is just what yours should be.

You will say: “What impertinence to take the direction of my soul without being asked!” I am quite sure Our Lord wishes it. So there is really nothing left for you but to accept the arrangement.

I don’t know what answer F. Abbot gave to your letter, as he hasn’t said a word to me. So let us leave that to Our Lord.

Assure all the Sisters of my prayer and remembrance before Our Lord.

Your devoted Father in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion. O.S.B. P.*

Prior.

Pax Mont-César, Louvain. 1 May 1906. My dear Child,

Your letter was a great pleasure, for I see we have the same ideas. I am the mortal enemy of what is called “direction.” The Holy Ghost alone can form souls; and the director has only to point out to his spiritual child the road by which God is leading her; give her some general rules for her conduct, and control her progress; answer her difficulties, if any, at distant intervals. Thus, if I see you during the Retreat, two, or at most three, letters a year would suffice. This is specially true of Religious whose interior life is based on the liturgy; for the source in which they find the food of their souls is so pure, that their souls are much less liable to error and hallucination, than those who elaborate their whole spiritual life out of their own inner consciousness. During the coming Retreat, give me a humble story of your past, and I will tell you, with God’s help, what He wants from you. :

For the moment, I shall give you one or two principles which ought to be the key-note of your spiritual life. 1. God does all things for the glory of His Son Jesus. Now, Jesus is especially glorified by those souls who, convinced of their utter incapacity, lean on Him, look to Him for light, for help, for all. 2. You should try to realise most vividly that, being a member of Jesus Xt. by your baptism, and more and more so by every Communion, your needs, your infirmities, your faults, are in a true sense the needs, the infirmities, the faults of Jesus: Vere languores nostros tpse tulit, et infirmitates nostras ipse portavit. Posuit in eo Dominus iniquitatem omnium nostrum. Factus est pro nobis peccatum.' 3. When you feel your weakness and misery, present yourself without fear before the eyes of your Heavenly Father, in the name and person of His Divine Son. Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis ut inhabitet in me virtus Christi The weaker

*“Surely He hath borne our infirmities and carried our sorrows. . . . The Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all” (Isa. 53:4, 6). “[He, who knew no sin], he hath [been] made sin for us” (literally: “He is made sin for us’’) (II Cor. 5:21).

*“Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me” (II Cor. 12:9). This text will be like a theme throughout these letters. See Introduction to this Section. you are, the more Our Lord wishes to be your all. Laeva ejus sub capite meo, et dextera illius amplexabitur me.’

I am so busy I can’t say more for the present; and I reserve the rest for August. I am looking forward with great pleasure to the Retreat. I am so peaceful, and at home, at N [. . .], it is a real rest.

Pray for me, my dear child, as I do daily for you, and Believe me

Your devoted in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B. P.

Pax Mont-César. 5 Oct. 1906. My dear Child,

I have been so busy since my return. I know you will understand my delay in answering. I am so pleased to hear that Our Lord has blessed the Retreat, and poured out His grace on a Community which is becoming more and more dear to me. I shall first answer your questions, and then add what Our Lord may inspire for yourself:

1. You should insist on having another copy of the Vie de la Mere Deleloé* as yours is incomplete. The parts I considered unfit for publishing were retrenched when reading the proof sheets.

2. The notes of Retreat I sent, were taken down almost word for word. The Abbess* was almost scrupulously careful to reproduce exactly what I said. I don’t think there is an expression, or a thought, which I had not communicated.

As regards yourself: I am perfectly certain that despite your unworthiness and littleness, that God means and wishes to unite you very closely to Him. He is Master of His gifts, which He bestows freely on whom He wishes. I wish you to give yourself up without fear to the leading of the Holy Spirit. If He unites you even very closely with God, don’t resist, and don’t be afraid. Your misery and

° «His left hand is under my head, and his right hand shall embrace me” (Cant. 2 D063).

‘A Belgian Benedictine mystic. This is probably an allusion to the work of Bruno Destrée, O.S.B., Une Mystique inconnue du 18° siecle, La Mére Jeanne Deleloé (Bruges, Desclée, 1904). Author was a monk of Mont-César.

• Most likely the abbess of Maredret. This concerns notes of a retreat preached by Dom Marmion in this monastery of Benedictine nuns. unworthiness, which God has had the goodness to reveal to you, will protect you against illusion, and will but become more and more manifest to the eyes of your soul. God’s glory, as derived from us, consists principally in the infinite condescensions of His mercy. The more miserable and unworthy we are, — provided we have a good will and seek Him sincerely, —the more is His mercy exalted in stooping down to our misery. “There is more joy in Heaven before God’s Angels for one sinner who does penance, than for the 99 who need not penance”; * and there is more glory given to God when He condescends to stoop down to a poor, mean, selfish, ordinary creature, than when He communicates Himself to one of those grand, noble, superior natures which, to our eyes, seem to claim His notice. St. Paul understood this so well: “He hath chosen the weak and despicable things of this world to confound the strong,” etc; ut non glorietur in conspectu ejus omnis caro,’ “That man should not glory in His sight.*

The triumph of the Passion, and of the merits of Jesus Christ, is attained when they lift up a poor, weak, and niiserable creature, and unite it with the Divinity. Therefore, my dear child, fear not to go whither God is certainly calling you. “One soul,” says Blosius,° “who gives herself up without reserve to God, allowing Him to act in her and with her as He pleases, does more for His glory and for souls in one hour, than others in long years of activity.” And this is certain.

I am so busy, — we are just arranging classes, studies, etc., — I can’t write to you what I intend regarding the H. Spirit. God seeks those who adore Him in Spirit and in truth.® He is the Spirit of the Father and Son, and those who allow themselves to be led by Him, seek the Father and Son in truth. He is the Holy Spirit, because all His inspirations are infinitely holy. He is the same identical Spirit which inspired Jesus in every act and thought; and it is by union with Him that the interior of J.C. is formed in our hearts. He is the Pater pauperum,' the Father of the poor, and He does not disdain to unite

8 Luke 15:7.

“See I Cor. 1:27—29.

• Blosius, (Louis de Blois), O.S.B., 4 Book of Spiritual Instructions, trans. B. A. Wilberforce, O.P. (London, 1900), chap. 1, n°. 4.

*John 4:24. * Sequence for Pentecost.

Himself with those who remain in adoration and spirit of annthilation in His presence. He is the Spirit of Holy Charity; and being the same in all unites us in holy love.

The new decree ® about the Pentateuch merely says that the arguments presented up to this have not demonstrated that Moses was not the author of the greatest part of the Pent. It leaves us free to believe: 1) that certain portions have been composed by others. 2) It admits the possibility of arguments being found which demonstrate that the greater part is not from Moses. My personal opinion is that Moses was the author of the greater part.

Your devoted Father in J.C. [no signature |

P.S. I enclose card containing names of books for Sister X |. . .]. Please pray for the writer, a young monk, one of my former pupils, one of our holiest and best, dying.°

(I shall have to undergo an operation for rupture this month. Please pray that all may go well.)?°

• Pax Chanoinesses Réguliéres de Saint Augustin,’ Jupille-lez-Liége, 5 Nov. [1906] My dear Child,

I have just finished my Retreat, which has been greatly blessed by God, and I am worn out; but must send you one line before going to bed. I go to the Institute, Monday 12th. I expect the operation for the 13th or 14th. I shall send you word as soon as I am able. You may be quite sure Our Lord has confided your soul to my keeping; and

*Of the Pontifical Biblical Commission. The Fribourg conferences of M.-J. Lagrange, O.P., had dealt with the ‘Mosaic authenticity of the Pentateuch.” See reference to Pére Lagrange in Letter 16, Note 2, Section III (to Dr. Dwyer), and Murphy (ed.), Pére Lagrange and the Scriptures, pp. 185 ff. (MEE).

°Dom Pius de Hemptinne, who died on January 27, 1907. See reference in Letter 3, Section XVI.

*©In those days an operation for hernia seemed more serious than nowadays, and was also much more painful.

*Convent where Dom Marmion often preached to the nuns and to the students in their large boarding school for girls. that you may trust my word. There is mo illusion in the conviction of intimate union you experience at times; though, when it is past, you may begin to doubt its reality. Our life is a life of faith, and experimental conviction, if continual, might diminish the merit of faith. There can never be any illusion in the desire of uniting your will perfectly with the Divine Will. You cannot practise this too much. St. Jane Chantal wrote that for years her prayer consisted “en laissant sa volonté s'enfoncer de plus en plus dans la Divine Volonté.” C’est la votre voie.?

I pray for you daily, and feel Our Lord will show forth His mercy once more in lifting up your nothingness to His perfect union.

I am to be invited here for the annual Retreat 1907. If A |. . .] has any intention of inviting me, they should write to my Abbot at the beginning of the new year. Otherwise they will be too late.

Tell the sisters I ever pray for all.

Your devoted Father in Christ, D.C.

~ eax Jumet. Institute Dogniaux. Nov. 29th. [1906] My dear Child,

I was so pleased with your letter that I must answer it, even though still condemned to lie on my back. All danger, and, I may say, all suffering is now past; and I am to get up tomorrow; and perhaps say H. Mass on Sunday. You will ask me why I was pleased with your letter; well, just because you speak to me just as you think; and that is so rare. I can’t say how much I value it.

I had had little experience of physical suffering. I always dreaded it; and although I offer myself daily at Holy Mass in union with the Divine Victim, without reserve to the love and wisdom of the Heavenly Father, yet I never asked for suffering. After the operation you are placed on your back, without a pillow, head down; you are dead sick from the chloroform, and some, like me, have terrible pains in back and loins. You are told that to shift or move is to destroy all; and so there you are all that weary night alone; and the next day and the next

< Vetting her will sink more and more into the Divine Will.’ That is your way.” night; a little water to wet your lips. It is like hell. I had no consolation; save the unfelt one of being united to God’s Will; and a glance at the Crucifix. Some don’t suffer at all so much. After the first 48 hours, things are better. Then you are at your ease. I am so glad to have suffered a little. I feel it will do a great work in my soul. Iam so unmortified! You need have no more anxiety now, as I am quite convalescent; and stay on here now 10 days, merely to be under the doctor’s eye, and rest.

The nuns here are so kind to me; and I get Holy Communion every morning; and have long hours alone with God. The more I gaze at Him, the more I see that He is the source of all good. It is infinitely better to look at Him than at ourselves.

I can’t tell you how pleased I am at your honest (English) way of speaking to me of my notes of retreat. If people only would, or could treat with each other thus, how agreeable life would be! Most people flatter me; either knowingly, or because affection cozens them. What you say is just what I think myself. The notes contain helpful thoughts; but only: 1. for those who know me; 2. or presented in good literary form. I am incapable of writing classical French; and I feel my English wants the ring and flavour which makes things readable.’

I have been thinking about your soul. Despite your very real defects and misery, which are doubtless much greater than what we see, God loves you dearly; and wishes to substitute His greatness to your littleness; His generosity to your meanness; His Truth and Wisdom to your silliness. He can do all that, if you only let Him. Confiteor tibi Pater, Dne caeli et terrae, quia abscondisti haec a sapientibus et prudentibus et revelasti ea parvulis.” You are one of these very little

• Here is what his correspondent wrote on June 9, 1923, concerning this remark, in a letter to Dom Raymond Thibaut: “He had sent me several retreat notes taken, I think, by a nun, saying that there was some talk of publishing them and asking my advice. I ventured to write to him that I did not advise it; these notes seemed to me rather poor and it seemed impossible to publish them, at least without working them up. You will see with what admirable humility he thanked me for my advice . . . which was completely unfounded, for his “Retreats” published later were a very great success. I had only known him then for a short time, and I found his spoken word greatly superior to his written.”

*“T confess to Thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because Thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent and hast revealed them to the little ones” (Matt.

2:25). A138 people whom God deigns to look down on. Try to look much more at God than at yourself; to glory in your miseries as being the object and motive of His mercies; to love virtue more than you fear vice; to glorify the infinite merits and virtues of Jesus by drawing from them largely to supply your need. When duty permits, don’t regard as lost either for you, or for the Community the moments you spend in union of love with God. He is the source of all the good you will do in yourself, or in others. Now my child, there’s a programme for a whole year, yes, for a life.

It would be a great sacrifice if I can’t go to A[.. .]. Jupille is asking too. F. Abbot won’t allow both. God will decide which he will select. I should be glad to get a reading of F. Tyrrell’s Letter to a Professor. Poor fellow, I fear he is drifting; God knows whither.

Your very devoted in J.C. D. Columba Marmion.

~

Pax Tyburn Convent, 6, Hyde Park Place, London, W. [no date, 1906 or 1907| My dear Child,

Just a line to say Iam so sorry to be unable to pay you a visit. But God wishes it so; and souls united in His love are not separated by distance. I do hope you are very faithful to Our Lord, even in the midst of the darkness through which He so often wishes to lead you. Etiamst ambulavero in medio umbrae mortis, non timebo mala, guoniam tu mecum es. This is a fervent peace, and so filled with the evidence of God’s very special care.

One case out of many. A young English Protestant lady hears her sister has been converted. She is distracted with sorrow, as she is a strong Protestant. She prays: and during the night, Our Lady appears to her and explains all. She becomes a fervent Catholic. She comes here by accident, and feels immediately that she is called by Our Lord. It is discovered after her entry that she is a relation to B. Fenwick, S.]J., who was martyred here under Elizabeth. I pray daily for you, and do

*“FRor though I should walk in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for thou art with me” (Ps. 22:4). hope you are keeping up your courage, despite the darkness of your ordinary life. I go to A[. . .]| Monday. Can I do anything for you? Good bye. Ever Yours devotedly in J.C. D. Columba, O.S.B.

Pax Mont-César. 1 Jan. 1907 My dear Child,

Don’t be disappointed at my sending you such a scrap, which certainly does represent my desire of having a chat with you. I am getting much better. The effects of the operation are past, the wound quite healed; and, but for a nasty attack of influenza, I should be all right again. I begin a short Retreat at the American College * tomorrow, which I recommend to your prayers. I suppose it is vain to ask or desire your going to A|. . .] during the retreat. I should be so glad to complete what I consider to be God’s work in your soul, by delivering you over completely to Our Dear Lord “Who has looked down on your lowliness” and wants you all to Himself (no accounting for tastes).

Our Divine Lord inclines me more and more to live in an entire dependence on Him, and the movements of His Spirit. The Father has placed all things beneath the feet of His Beloved Son, and I feel more and more drawn to live in a state of habitual adoration and annihilation before Jesus in my heart. I tell you this for yourself, because I feel Our lord will lead you also by that path. I pray daily for you at Holy Mass; and know you do also for me.

I read the Much abused Letter,? and think it can’t be sufficiently “abused,” as it is pure Protestantism, and even very low Church. I did not come across the controversy about Lord Acton;* but I was

• At Louvain.

? Tyrrell’s communication.

®Dom Aidan (later Cardinal) Gasquet, O.S.B., monk of Downside and historian, whose recently published work Lord Acton and His Circle (London, 1906), which Gasquet’s biographer Sir Shane Leslie calls ‘‘a stirring of cold embers” was intended to keep Lord Acton’s “memory orthodox.” See Cardinal Gasquet. A Memorr, pp. 115 f. (MEE) aware that Dom Gasquet had taken up an extreme position on the question.

Josephine was elected Rev. Mother of Jupille on Holy Innocents, under the name of Mother Columba. She is doing very well indeed. I gave a Retreat to the girls there, which was a great consolation, as God seemed to bless it greatly; despite my unfitness for speaking to young girls, whose mentalité is quite a mystery to me.

May God bless you, and take you all to Himself. My best wishes to all for 1907.

Your Father in J.C. D. Columba M.

Pax Mont-César, Louvain. 10 Jan. 1907. My dear Child,

The light and interior movement you received during the Retreat were verily from God, and a grace. When such graces pass, they are often followed by seasons of doubt. S. Theresa, even after moments of highest union, during which she was incapable of doubting of the divine action, frequently fell back into doubt and trouble when the devine contact had ceased. Of course, in your case there is no question of such exalted favours; but I mention the fact in order to show that doubt may succeed to absolute certitude in such cases. Go on quietly living by pure faith, without any feeling. Jesus is your supplement in all things; and so in your communications with God, if you find yourself dry and rationalistic, just close the eyes of your soul, and in humble adoration just say one long Amen to all that Jesus is doing and saying in your name in sinu Patris.* This is often my case. The fact that you derive grace from humiliation is an excellent symptom of your soul’s health. Our only way of knowing the state of our soul are the fruits. Ex fructibus eorum cognoscetis eos.” Now be quite at peace. I don’t in the least look on you as a saint, or a very spiritual person; but Our Lord has preserved you pure and free from great sin; and I know He wants to have you very intimately united with

• “Tn the bosom of the Father” (John 1:18). * “By their fruits you shall know them” (Matt. 7:16).

Him. “I confess to Thee, O Father, . . . because Thou hast hidden these things from the wise and prudent, and Thou hast revealed them to the little ones.” * You are one of those little ones.

Try and become more motherly and loving.* We can govern souls by force and authority; but it is only by meekness and love that we can gain them to God. I wish you to read the life of Mme. Jeanne de Chantal by Mgr. Bougaud. She was much tried by temptations against faith for years. There is something in us all in league with evil; and it gives an echo when we come in contact with it. Some time ago, we were reading the life of Luther; and I was distressed at finding in my heart an echo to all his crimes, of which I feel myself perfectly capable. So don’t be astonished to feel this at times.

Your devoted Father in J.C. DRG:

IX. mepax Mont-César, Louvain. March 1907. My dear Child,

Please excuse my delay in answering. I am overwhelmed with work. I am sure God wishes to lead your soul by the path of pure faith; and that is by faith without any of the self-satisfaction which sentiments and perceived certainty give. From time to time, you will receive a ray of light and warmth, and you must live on that; holding on to your faith, without any reflex consolation; though ever with a very real, but unfelt joy, in the depth of your soul. Try to love this way of pure faith; it is so sure, so unselfish, so very glorious to God. God never gives virtue in a high degree without our having fought and suffered for it. This is true of faith, which is the “root and foundation of all justice.” + You will seem to yourself at times, to have lost almost your faith; yet it remains whole and entire in the fie point of your soul; all gathered up into so sharp and imperceptible a point that it seems no longer to exist. Close your eyes, and remain united with Jesus, saying a loving Amen to all He is gazing at in His Father.

5 Matt. 11:25.

“This nun was superior during most of the time she corresponded with Dom

Marmion. + Council of Trent. Session VI on Justification, chap. 8.

It is a real sacrifice not to go to see you. A father has sometimes a weakness for the most sickly and less gifted of his children. Yet I am powerless, as I am under obedience; and may do nothing but what I am told. If Our Lord sees that it would be useful He will arrange.

Your devoted Father in Xto. f. Columba.

Pax Mont-César. 19 April | 1907? | My dear Child, I hope you are serving Our Lord in joy and peace. He loves you so. I want you to read Blosius. His Comfort for the Faint-hearted is just what you want. His spirit is just what I love; it is so true, so like the S. Heart. It is a real sacrifice not to go to A[. . .] this year. I am always so happy and so at home there; and I feel Our Lord did bless my work. You should try more and more to walk by faith, and not by impression. God has given us our reason, and He wishes us to guide ourselves by that faculty enlightened by faith. It is by reason we differ from animals; and God is glorified by our acting according to the nature He has given us. There are so many, especially women, who form for themselves a conscience of impressions which change with every wind. Yours devotedly in J.C. D. Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

P.S. You will scold me if I don’t tell you I am in first class health, etc. XI.

Bre Da x Louvain, 26 April [1907? | My dear Child,

There is no presumption in following the attrait* of which you speak. On the contrary it would displease God were you to hold back through vain fear. These strong desires are dans l’ordre de la foi,”

1“Tnclination.” 2 “Tn the line of Faith.” although very supernatural. Therefore as far as I have any jurisdiction over you — and I understand that you have given me full powers, —I wish you to yield without fear to these invitations of grace, and to continue your prayer which disposes you for such union. “A soul that gives herself up completely to God’s leading, allowing Him to operate in her just as He pleases, gives more glory to God, and does more for souls in one hour, than others in long years.” Louis de Blois. God often acts thus with very imperfect, ungrateful souls, because He likes. Go to H. Communion every day. I shall pray that Our Lord may arrange things so that you may come to AJ. . .|. You are a pessimistic impressionist, but have an inordinate fear of good impressions. Believe me, your discouraging impressions are false; the others generally true.

PLOULSHaen

• Pax Mont-César, Louvain, 5 June [1907? | My dear Child,

There are two ways of presenting oneself before God. 1) As the Pharisee of the Gospel: leaning on our own works, and asking God to reward us for our justice. “I observe all your law. I fast. I give alms. You ought to be satisfied with me.” God detests such self-righteous people, though they may be very correct and irreproachable. 2) As St. Paul: “I regard all my own righteousness as dung (ut stercora); my whole confidence is in J.C., who, through His merits, gives to my works all their value.” Hence he glories, not in his works, but in his infirmities. Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis. Such people are dear to God, because they glorify His Son; and this is His sole desire. You are rich in infirmities. And were you to lean on Xt. alone, doing all, suffering all, in His name, united with Him, He would render you more and more agreeable to His Father. He would bring you with Him into that sanctuary which He calls sinus Patris, His Father’s bosom; and there, under God’s eye, you would constantly try to please Him by doing what you feel is most pleasing to Him. Those

*“Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities” (II Cor. 12:9). See also Phil. 314-11. alone dwell in God’s bosom, who have an immense confidence in His Fatherly goodness and mercy, which are infinite; and who try their best to please Him in all things. Now there is your programme for the present.

I feel Our Lord has given you to me as my child whom I am to present to Him to be one of the triumphs of His mercy. For St. Paul says: “He has chosen the weak, and the feeble, and the things of nothing; that no flesh might glory in His sight.” ?

Poor von Hiigel.’ I fear he is mal entouré.* Tyrrell is, I fear, an evil influence for many.

Ever yours in J.C.

Das

H Pax Ampleforth College (Oswaldkirk).? 9 Sept. [1907] My dear Child,

Your last letter was almost a pain, as I see you allow the view of your miseries, which are very finite to hide the riches which are yours in J.C., and which are infinite. It is a great grace to see our miseries and our littleness, which are really much greater than we imagine; but this knowledge is real poison unless it be coupled with an zmmense faith and confidence in the all-sufficiency of Our dear Lord’s merits, riches and virtues, which are all ours. Vos estis corpus Xti et membra de membro. “You are Xt’s body, and the very members of His members.” * The members really possess as theirs all the divinity and the merit of the person whose members they are; and this is what glorifies Jesus: to have such a high appreciation of His merits and of His Jove in giving them to us. (Et nos credidimus caritati Det. 1 John),° that our misery and unworthiness do not discourage us. There are two

*1 Cor. 1:28—20.

• Baron Friedrich von Hiigel (1852-1925), English Catholic philosopher and student of mysticism, who maintained warm ties of friendship with Loisy and Tyrrell without ever leaving the Church himself. (MEE)

**Tn bad company.”

*Dom Marmion was preaching a retreat at this English Benedictine abbey.

21 Corat2i2°7 *«We hath believed the charity, which God hath to us” (I John 4:16). classes of persons who give little glory to J.C.: 1) those who do not see or realise their misery and unworthiness, and consequently don’t feel the need of J.C. 2) Those who do see their misery, but have not that strong faith in the Divinity of J.C., by which they are, as it were, glad to be so weak in order that Jesus may be glorified by them. Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus mets ut inhabitet in me virtus Xti. How far you are from glorifying in your infirmities.

Try and have a most pure intention in all you do. Unite your intentions to those of your Divine Spouse, and don’t mind the results. God does not give results (to be) felt. Place yourself daily on the altar with Jesus, to be offered up to God’s glory; and to be eaten up by those who surround you.

I did not promise to go to see you in December. It is very probable I may not have permission, though I hope to. Just write to me towards the beginning of December, and mention, — which is true—, that my visit will be useful. This will probably determine F. Abbot to allow me.

Ever your gratefully in J.C. D. Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

P.S. The Church, towers, and south wing of our Abbey are yet to be built.

• Pax St. Thomas’ Abbey, Erdington,’ 11 Dec. [1907] My dear Child,

Allow me to express my very sincere gratitude for your warm welcome and very generous offering. I pray Our dear Lord to pay you a hundred-fold.

The more I pray for you, the more I see that your way is absolute and unreserved “abandon.” * God will care for you just in so far as you cast yourself and all your cares in the bosom of His Paternal love and

*“Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me” (II Cor. 12:9).

• Benedictine abbey near Birmingham founded by Beuron on the banishment of the Congregation from Germany during the Kulturkampf.

? “Abandonment,” self-surrender. providence. When in His presence, in the darkness of faith, adore Him in His ways, His Providence, His often unfathomable wisdom; then cast yourself on His bosom just as a child nisi efficiamini sicut parvuli non intrabitis in regnum caelorum.® He will treat you as you treat Him; and give you that “joy and peace in believing” of which St. Paul speaks.* Offer Him a daily holocaust of all sensitiveness, leaving yourself and all that concerns you in His loving care. Jacta super Dominum curam tuam et ipse te nutriet. I have been trying to finish this letter for the last few days, and can’t. All my moments are taken. Ever yours in J.C. D. Columba

• Pax Mont-César, Louvain, 8 Jan. 1908. My dear Child, '

Do forgive me for having left your letter so long without a reply. I have been so overwhelmed with work that I am sure, if you were by me, you would have said: “don’t write at present.” In any case, were you to measure my interest in your soul by my correspondence, you would be very far from the reality. I do believe God means me to help you; and I pray daily for you. In every soul, three spirits strive for the mastery. The spirit of falsehood and blasphemy, who, from the beginning, ever suggests the contrary of what God whispers. “If you eat of this fruit you shall certainly die,” says God. Nequaquam moriemin;

“you shall not die by any means,” ?

was Satan’s reply; and all his suggestions are but the echo of this first lie. Then there is the spirit of the world, inclining us to judge things according to the maxims of sense, and of carnal prudence; prudentia hujus mundi stultitia est apud

Deum. “The prudence of this world is folly with God.” * Then there

**Unless you . . . become as little children, you shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matt. 18:3).

*Rom. 15:13.

° “Cast thy care upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee” (Ps. 54:23).

• Gen. 3:4.

• See I Cor. 3:19. is the Spirit of God, ever whispering in our ears to raise our hearts above nature sursum corda, and to live by faith; justus meus ex fide vivit.» ‘This spirit always inclines us towards simple, loving faith, “abandon” of self into God’s hands. It fills us with “peace and joy in believing”; and produces the fruits of which St. Paul speaks.*

Now, my dear child, in certain persons the action of these several spirits is more tangible and striking than in others. In you, the influence of these spirits is very marked. You will always know them by their fruits, even though Satan may try to clothe himself as an angel of light. Our Lord says: Ex fructibus cognoscetis eos.” You will recognize these spirits by the fruits they produce in your soul. God’s spirit, even when He reproaches us, or inclines us to confusion, or compunction for our sins, ever fills the soul with peace, and filial confidence in our Heavenly Father. The other spirits dry up our souls, fill us with naturalistic tendencies; or, if it be the spirit of hell, casts gloom and discouragement into our soul. Now, just as Eve should have refused to believe, or even to listen to the infernal spirit when he contradicted God’s testimony, just as she ought to have put him to flight by saying, as St. Michael, Quis ut Deus? ® “Do you think I will pay any attention to your hissing lies, when they contradict God’s word!” So should we. I recommend you a great fidelity to the movements of the H. Spirit. Your baptism and your confirmation have established Him as a living fountain in your soul. Hear His whisperings, and put the other inspirations to flight at once. If you are faithful in this, little by little this Divine Spirit will become your guide, and bear you with Him into God’s bosom. The Holy Spirit holds the place for us, that Jesus did for His Apostles during His mortal life. Just as they could have recourse to Him, speak to Him, pray, etc., so He has sent us “another Paraclete to stay with us, and teach us all things which He has told sis

I am on the commission of “Vigilance” for this diocese, which means work, work. Pray for me, for, in all sooth, to you, my child, I

° “My just man liveth by faith’ (Heb. 10:38).

S Rom aIs;13:

°“By their fruits you shall know them’””’ (Matt. 7:16).

°“Who is like God?” — the meaning of the Hebrew name “Michael.” “John 14: and 26. say it from my heart, I feel such a distance between what I preach and what I practise, that I really tremble lest I become like a sign-post showing the way to others and remaining stationary myself. I should be very glad to read Maud Petre’s work.® Ever yours very devotedly in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

4 Pax Downside,! 28 April | 1908 | My dear Child,

I had been looking forward to the pleasure of seeing you on my way back, but I have just received a letter from the Cardinal of Malines, begging me to come on to Malines on my arrival in Belgium next Tuesday evening, as he wants to see me, and must go away the next morning. I must therefore put off my visit till September. I should have liked so much to have seen you; as I see you want winding up. Your soul is very dear to God, but He wants a more perfect abandon into His hands; and allows you to feel all your impotency, as long as you fail to look for all things from Him. Your present state is due in part to physical weakness, and in part it is a trial; when it is past, you will find that you had been getting nearer to God, though it seemed you were drifting from Him.

The sign that your present state is not due principally to your infidelities — though of course it is likely that they are not wholly foreign to it — is that you feel deep down in your soul a great want of God, which is a real torment, as you seem so hopelessly estranged from Him. It is He who gives this double, and seemingly contradictory, sentiment. He wants you to Jong for Him, and at the same time to see, that of yourself you are quite incapable of finding Him. He will come in the end, destderium pauperum exaudivit Dominus;? you are one of those poor ones just now.

This is a most delightful place, in fact too beautiful; and I should

• A fervent disciple, apologist, and biographer of Tyrrell. The allusion is probably to her work, Catholicism and Independence (London, 1907).

*Dom Marmion was preaching the annual retreat at the Abbey at this time. * “The Lord hath heard the desire of the poor” (Ps. 9:17). be very happy, but for the very nasty weather, and the fact that I am feeling rather seedy. This is generally the price I have to pay for God’s blessing on a Retreat.

Pray for me, as I do for you, daily, that God may give us the grace to seek Him alone. “If your eye be simple, your whole being will be in light.” ° May God bless you.

Yours very devotedly in J.C.

Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

Pax Mont-César, Louvain, 26 May [1908] My dear Child in J.C.,

It is really very kind of you to take such an interest in me. It is a joy and an encouragement, because I feel it is so sincere. Well, you may be at peace. It was only a nasty attack of influenza, such as I get every year. The operation I went through two years ago was most successful, and final; and leaves no trace nor weakness. I am getting over the influenza, though still under the spell.

I feel very intensely your bereavement and your suffering. People like you love very strongly and very completely those who are dear to them. And when they lose one of them, they lose part of themselves. Mother Prioress spoke to me of your dear sister, of her beautiful soul and strange career. I believe she was one of Providence’s special cared ones; and that all has been for the best. As I know you, I can feel what a void this loss has made in your poor heart. It must bleed for a time; but God Himself wishes to fill up the gap. It is by successive detachments that He ends by becoming our All; and at times this separation from all human solace is almost like death. I have gone through it; and know that poor human weakness could not bear it, were it to last. But little by little God becomes our All; and in Him we find again what we seem to have lost.

I have been praying much for you. First, I believe God has given you to me to cultivate and prepare for perfect union with Him; and

3 Matt. 6:22. um then again, because I feel how you are suffering. Such trials are often for souls like you le point de départ of a very perfect life. For souls like yours, God wants to be All, Deus meus et omnia;* but as long as they could lean on any human aid, how legitimate and holy soever it might be, He could not be their All. This is the perfection of the virtue of poverty; it is perfect hope: to have lost all created joy, and lean on God alone.

In Holy Communion, you enter into union directly with Jesus Xt., and through Him with the Father and the H. Spirit who are in Him. Again you enter with Him, and through Him, into union with all His members, and especially with those who are perfectly united with Him in glory. This is that Communion for which He prayed His Father, ut omnes unum sint, sicut ego in te et tu in me, ut sint consummati in unum?

I advise you to go from time to time before the B. Sacrament, and placing yourself at Our Lord’s feet, beg Him to be all for you.

I shall be delighted to read your sister’s biography. I feel she is already in peace and light; but you may depénd on my prayers and sacrifices just as if she were my own.

I do hope, on my way back from Woolhampton, that I may be able to spend a day with you. Ask our Lord, and if He sees fit, He will arrange it.

Believe me ever yours very devotedly in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

4 Pax Brussels; 8 July [1908] My dear Child,

His qui diligunt Deum, omnia cooperantur in bonum. “For those who love God, all things cooperate unto good.” * Of course nature must have its way, and our poor hearts must bleed when those whom we have loved are taken from us. I would not like to think you did

• St. Francis of Assisi.

• “That they may all be one, as thou Father, in men, and I in thee . . . that they may be perfect in one” (John 17:21-23). *Rom. 8:28.

The Abbot’s Irish cross and ring.

With Queen Elizabeth of the Belgians at Maredsous in 1920. not feel this trial; for Jesus wept over Lazarus; and He has given us human hearts; but yet we must lift our thoughts to God’s bosom, and see those we love, there waiting for us, and loving Him in our place. As you say, my dear child, I feel Our Lord has given you to me to fit you for Himself. I do not write much, but I bring you daily with me on the altar; and there I offer you, and all your needs and pleadings, to God through J.C.

It seems to me that you are now more than ever my child; and as such I shall say Holy Mass for our mother with all the affection and fervour I would have for my own.

I have just given the monthly conference at the Institut Saint-Louis, Brussels | where| I am writing this... .?

May God bless you and sanctify you.

Ever your devoted Father in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

4 Pax Mont-César, Louvain, 15 Nov. | 1908] My dear Child in J.C.,

You must have a little word for your jubilee. It is the 22nd anniversary of my entrance into the Religious life,’ so I shall thank God at H. Mass next Saturday for all the graces given us both; and ask for grace to make a new start. Iam very glad indeed you were inspired to take up St. Gertrude. Her spirit is just the antidote for your spiritual ills. Her views of our faults is absolutely true. Faults arising from weakness, and really detested in our hearts, do not prevent God from loving us. They excite His compassion. Quomodo miseretur pater filiorum misertus est Dominus timentibus se, quoniam ipse cognovit figmentum nostrum.” This was St. Paul’s great devotion: to present himself before his Heavenly Father with all his infirmities; and as he looks always on himself as a member of J.C., these infirmities

• Cardinal Mercier had asked Dom Marmion to give a spiritual conference each month for the clergy of Brussels.

*November 21, 1886.

*“As a father hath compassion on his children, so hath the Lord compassion on them that fear Him: for He knoweth our frame” (Ps. 102:13-14). were really Christ’s. Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus mets, ut inhabitet in me virtus Christi. Try and fill yourself with that spirit of childlike confidence in God, and it will give you the same attitude towards those who call you “mother.” God treats us as we treat others; and the more loving and indulgent we are towards others, the more God bends down to us in our weakness.

It appears to me that the more closely I become united with Our Divine Lord, the more He draws me towards His Father; and the more He wills me to be filled with His filial spirit. You could not do better than follow out that thought. It is the whole spirit of the new law: non accepistis spiritum servitutis iterum in timore, sed accepistis spiritum adoptionis filiorum, in quo clamamus Abba Pater? Most of your difficulties come from your not allowing yourself to be guided and inspired by this spirit of love, but listen too often to the other spirit of fear, which paralyses your soul, and prevents God’s grace. There is a very good French edition of the works of St. Gertrude: Le Héraut del Amour Divin. Révélations de Ste. Gertrude. Traduites par les R. R. Péres de Solesmes. Chez H. Oudin, Paris. 24 rue Condé. 1907.

It may interest the Community to hear the account of a very strange experience I had on my way back from Germany. I had leave to spend a day at Aix-la-Chapelle. I lodged at a Sanatorium kept by Franciscan Nuns. I got there Tuesday night; and during supper, the Superioress told me there was a sad case in the house. A lady of a wealthy German family, mother of six children, had left her husband and family on account of his conjugal infidelity. She had become an atheist; and spent her time travelling. She had joined a masonic society in Italy, undertaking never to call a priest, and to die without Religion. She had taken an apartment in the Sanatorium, just to study anatomy, and while away her time. She was utterly without religion.

The Superioress asked me to try to bring her back to God. As I had to leave next day at 3 o'clock, I had very little hope. However, after my Mass, I felt I ought to try, and begged Our Lord to act through me. I asked the lady to dine with me. She consented through

*“For you have not received the spirit of bondage again in fear: but you have received the spirit of adoption of sons, whereby we cry: Abba: Father” (Rom. 8:15). curiosity. A very charming person, 37 years of age, speaking fluently French, English, Italian, etc., and very clever. God gave me the grace to touch her heart. She consented to confess to me; but I had no faculties to confess there; and I had to leave at 3.

Most unexpectedly a materialistic doctor turned up at 2 o’clock, and offered to bring her and me for a drive in his motor-car. He brought us across the Frontier to Moresnet, in the diocese of Liége, in which I have full faculties. Just as we got there, his machine broke down; and he was obliged to spend an hour mending it. During that time, I prepared the lady, and heard her confession in a Church close by. She was most beautifully disposed; and I had the happiness of giving her H. Communion next morning. Such experiences confirm our faith.

I am going to Bruges in January to give a retreat at St. André.

I daily pray for all.

Yours in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B. som Pax Chanoinesses Réguliéres de St. Augustin, Jupille-lez-Liége, 7 March [1909]. My dear Child in J.C.,

I was so pleased to receive your letter, and to see that Our Dear Lord has lifted the veil a moment; just as He did for the disciples. Of course we must walk, not by vision, but by faith. Yet He condescends to our weakness, and, from time to time, allows the light of His divine mercy and beauty to pierce the clouds and darkness in which He habitually envelopes Himself. Nudes et caligo in circuitu ejus.’ You have come down from the mountain on which you would have dwelt forever. Domine, bonum est nos hic esse. You now see “only Jesus” neminem viderunt nisi solum Jesum?

My dear child, you must never forget that in the present order of

*“Clouds and darkness are round about him” (Ps. 96:2).

• Allusion to the Transfiguration of our Lord, an episode frequently referred to by

Dom Marmion in his conferences: “Lord, it is good for us to be here. . . . And they lifting up their eyes saw no one but only Jesus” (Matt. 17:48).

Providence, God is glorified by our faith. Sine fide impossibile est placere Deo.® He, from time to time, gives us to feel that He is sweet, and that He loves us; but that is the exception. He expects us to believe, and confide in His love without any feeling of it. Nos credidimus caritati Dei;* “we, says St. John, we have believed in God’s love for us.” In the Psalm Attendite,° God is ever complaining that, despite the repeated proof of His ever-loving providence, the Jews were ever falling back into distrust: non fuerunt memores multitudinis misericordiae suae. “They were not mindful of the multitude of His mercies,’ and so He complains of them semper errant corde.®

Now, my dear child, I have studied your soul in prayer, and I know that God wants you to serve Him by pure faith in spite of all sorts of repugnance; and so you must be satisfied to go in faith without consolation, nor feeling, trusting in Him, and in the words of His minister, who speaks in His name. He will often leave you in your weakness, and seem to deprive you of every help; yet He is ever in the centre of your heart, guiding and protecting you. You must have a great faith, not only in His Jove, but also in the wisdom of His guidance. It is impossible that Our Lord should command you by the voice of obedience to undertake anything which would be detrimental to your soul. It will seem to you at times, that the task imposed is above your strength; but God is bound to give you all the light and grace necessary to fill an office in which He Himself places you. You know I bring you daily in my heart to the altar; and place all your wants and intentions in Our Lord’s hands.

I daily get marks of His loving care. I had a great desire to make a good retreat; but have been prevented for some years to make my annual retreat. And even when I can make it, I am so often interrupted I cannot fully recollect myself. I also longed for years to visit Paray-le-Monial. And now the Cardinal has just obtained permission from my Lord Abbot for me to accompany him to Paray-le-Monial during his retreat, which he will make there this year on returning

• “But without faith, it is impossible to please God” (Heb. 11:6).

*I John 4:16.

5 Ps. 77. °«These always err in heart” (Ps. 94:10). from Rome. I shall let you know the date in order that you may accompany me by your prayers. I must now leave you; but you may ever count on my prayers; and my sincere attachment in J.C. Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.

Pax Douai Abbey, Woolhampton,’ R.S.O., Berks., 2 August | 1909]. My dear Child,

I had been looking forward with such pleasure to spending a few hours with you; but Our Dear Lord asks a sacrifice this time. F. Abbot and our Subprior are leaving for the Congress at Cologne? tomorrow; and as the Monastery will be thus almost without any Superior, I have received a formal order to go back directly, as soon as my work here is finished. It is a real sacrifice for me not to see you, and I know it is also for you. Let us offer it up for your sanctification. I do so desire and pray that God may give you the grace to throw yourself without reserve into His arms, and find all in Him. I want your very special prayers for myself, for the next few weeks. I can’t say by letter what I should otherwise confide to you; but I have reason to fear that the general chapter, at which I have just assisted, may be the occasion of very important changes in my life and responsibilities.* Please don’t say anything of this, as nothing is certain yet. I am giving a retreat at Ramsgate, 3-11 Sep.; and at Maredsous, 12-19 Sep. This latter retreat is very important at present. I shall of course write as soon as I have anything definite to tell you.

God bless you, my child,

Yirssiney cs D. Columba, O.S.B.

*Dom Marmion was preaching the annual retreat here at the time.

• International Eucharistic Congress.

• This concerned the probable resignation of the abbacy of Maredsous by Dom Hildebrand de Hemptinne, who had been appointed Primate of the Benedictine Order. The monks of Maredsous therefore had to elect a new abbot, and Dom Marmion knew that the choice might fall on him. See the letter to follow; also Section X, Introduction.

Pax St. Augustine’s College, Ramsgate * 7 Sep. [1909 | My dear Child,

Just one word to say I am praying for you. I do so yearn to see you give yourself without reserve to God, and find all in Him. The glorious Communion of Saints appeals to me more and more. We are really so “one” in J.C. The more closely we are united with Jesus, the more closely the bonds of holy love embrace and envelope us. It is in Jesus, and in Him alone, that you will find those who are so dear to you in truth. He is Truth, and the more closely we abide in Him, the truer is our union with those we love. If we only find them in ourselves, in our own poor human hearts, in our feelings and remembrance, our union is fruitless for them; — for us, it only makes the void deeper and more hopeless. But when we unite ourselves to them in Jesus, our union is a joy for them, and peace for us. Now, my dear child, do meditate on those lines. I feel Our Lord inspires me to write them for you.

As regards myself, I give the retreat at Maredsous from Sep. 12-19. (I leave here Saturday morning.) After the retreat, there is a canonical visit, beginning the 20th. This will most likely be followed by the election of a new Abbot for Maredsous. There was some probability of my being selected; but my own Abbot (Louvain) has the right of veto, and he means using it; as he told me he is convinced that my place is at Louvain. I am at perfect peace, as I wish only for God’s will; and I am sincerely convinced that the position — for many reasons — was far beyond my strength. Of course, the other Superiors can override the veto; but this is scarcely likely. Of course you will look on this as very confidential; but I may not hide anything from my dear child.

Ever yrs. D. Columba, O.S.B.

• At the time Dom Marmion was preaching the annual retreat at this English abbey.

Pax Maredsous, 12 Dec. [1909]. My dear Child,

It is really too bad of me to keep you so long without any news. You know it is not from any want of interest or affection. I regard you as one of my fastest and sincerest friends; and on my side this is quite mutual. My charge here is so vast, so engrossing; the large Abbey, the college, the school of arts, the convent, the wide relations with all sorts of people, so take up, so eat up my day that I find no time for recollection or reading. However, God is very good to me. And I beg Jesus every morning to govern the Monastery through me; and He does so most wonderfully, despite my infidelities and mistakes. My Monks are wonderfully docile; and do their best to help and sustain me. Yet of course there are many crosses, and heavy responsibilities. My health is good, though I am often tired and weary. But I must confess that, up to this, things have been much easier than I had anticipated. I see more and more that the great point is to sink our personality, and let Xt. act in us and through us. How I long to see you, my dear child, place all your consolation in God; not in the sense that you should reject all other joy, but that no human consolation should be necessary for your peace.

I never forget my dear children at |. . .]. I daily bring them in my heart to the altar, that united with our dear Lord they may be accepted by the Father.

Ever yours most faithfully, Columba, Abb.

Pax

Maredsous, 16 June [1910]

My dear Child, | It is a long time since I heard from you, or you from me. Friend- ship founded on God is independent of time or distance, for it par- takes somehow of God’s own Eternity; and so I have no fears that your friendship for me has, in any way, changed or diminished.

Mine has not in any case. . . . For that place which I have given you in my heart is ever yours; and you accompany me daily to the altar where we meet in that Communion of which Jesus is the centre and the bond.

I am getting on well, D.G. The Community is most docile and devoted. And the difficulties —some of them very considerable — which I found on my arrival, are, by God’s grace, gradually melting away. I should so like to see you, but am not certain that I can. I have promised Stanbrook for years to give them a retreat, & am going in August. I start on the 16th & must be back in Brussels on the 27th. The Abbot of Erdington wants to see me & has made me promise to pay them a visit. I may be going to Farnborough in November.

Ever yrs. in J.C. # Columba, Abb.

XXV. max The Abbey, Farnborough! Hants., 19 Nov. [1910] My dear Child,

I had been looking forward with a real longing to see you. It was on that account that I had put off answering your very welcome letter. I have just received a wire from Belgium calling me back as quickly as possible. I must leave here immediately after the retreat, and go home directly. This is a real trial for me, for I am most devoted to you; and it would have been a real joy to have spent a day or more with you. Had I seen you, I should have spoken to you nearly as follows: God has poured forth all “the treasures of His Wisdom and of His Science” ? on the Sacred Humanity of J.C. because of its union with the Word. And the measure of His gifts to us, is the degree of our union with this same Word. Now, this union with the Word is effected by the power and efficiency of the Sacred Humanity, especially in H. Communion. What we have to do is to maintain ourselves, through the Sacred Humanity, in an habitual state of absolute adoration and submission to the Word, Who resides within us. Our life must be an “Amen” ever echoing the wishes and the designs of

*Dom (Abbot) Marmion was preaching the annual retreat at this English abbey. § Colis233) that Word on us. A soul, once arrived at that state, becomes the object of the outpouring of God’s best gifts. Monday, my 24th anniversary of entry, I shall say H. Mass for ws two, that Our Lord may do for you all that I should have wished and more. In great haste, EVere yr swine) oe Columba, Abb.

Pax Abbaye de Maredsous, 6 Dec. [1911 | My dear Child,

I was so glad to get a word, for I never forget, though I don’t write. It is a great happiness for me to know that God is taking possession of His Kingdom in your soul. All your trials were intended to prepare and purify your interior for Him. As I promised you, I take you daily in my heart to the H. Altar, and make all your intentions and your interests mine in Our Lord’s heart. I feel this manner of praying for those we love is most efficacious. As regards the retreat, I am fully determined to go, and prefer August; though as yet I can’t fix the date, as I must be present in mitre and crosier at the Marial Congress at Maastricht, which takes place some time in August, somewhere about the 15th.

I have most weighty matters on hand at present. The Abbey and College are going on well, D.G., and God is helping me wonderfully; but I have a lot of relations and official matters outside of my ordinary work, which take up all my moments. Then I have no secretary, nor personal helper. Pray for me.

EVetay Sina) .c: F Columba, Abb.

Pax Abbaye de Maredsous, 6 Feb. [1912] My dear Child, Just a word to ask you to fix the date of your retreat, as I have such a number of arrangements to make. I am giving the retreat to the

UB: clergy of Westminster from Sep. 2-6. I should be glad to go to you, so as to have finished a couple of days before beginning at Westminster. I am often very worn out after a retreat, & I shall need all my strength for that of Westminster. . . . All the month of August up to the 25th is taken up in various ways, & our own retreat here begins Sep. 24.

I have seldom been so busy as I have been this year. I hope next year to be able to breathe more freely; and not seem to forget those whom I really love so dearly in J.C. It is especially at H. Mass that I find myself united in J.C. with those I love; and beg Him to be my all for them, as He is more and more every day for myself.

I must say good bye. I start for Rome on the 25th with the Cardinal. I shall ask St. Peter to give you a stronger faith.

Ever yrs. in J.C. # Columba, Abb.

XXVIII. ~

Pax Rome, 22 Sep. [1912]

Just a word to say I had a long audience from the Pope to-day (25 minutes). He was most kind. He wrote the enclosed for you, and I send it as a token. His words are those of J.C., who really intends to fill you with every grace and benediction. He wrote on the card you gave me the following words: In cunctis rerum angustiis vere cogita ‘Dominus est. Et Deus erit tibi adjutor fortis.’ die 22 Sep. 1912. Pius PP.X. send you this as a mark of my profound and very true affection in J.C. + Columba, Abb.

On your card Pius X has written with his own hand Deus repleat te omni benedictione.? Pius PP.X.

XXIX. bax Maredsous, 5 Dec. 1912. My dear Child,

I have been waiting to see if I should have any news, which might

• «Tn all trials think truly: It is the Lord. And God will be for thee a powerful help.” * “God fill thee with all blessing.” interest you. Up to this, nothing. For me, I am in God’s hands for all, — have no desire but to be His very humble instrument in all things. I would not like to move a finger in any direction, lest I might get out of His keeping.

I read some accounts of Maud Petre’s Life of F. Tyrrell. It is sad, sad reading. When fundamental sincerity and straight forwardness are wanting, a man, particularly a priest, may do anything. Baron von Hiigel would consult better for his reputation by silence. There is not a particle of likeness between F. Tyrrell’s life and St. Augustine’s Confessions. The one is a humble confession of sin with efficacious resolution of amendment. The other is a vain boasting of ill-doing; and the open avowal of systematic disloyalty towards the Church.

I often think of our walk in the convent park; and of how perfectly our souls agree. If I am the guide Our Lord means for you, you are for me the soul who understands me best, and who could best counsel and encourage me. It may be that you are to have that role later. Ever Yrs. in Xto,

Columba, Abb.

Pax Jermyn Court Hotel, Piccadilly Circus, [London]. 7 Jan. (1913). My dear Child,

I have just got to London, and must get on to Erdington in the morning. .. . I am in very good health; and very happy trying to live only in J.C. hidden in God. I feel you are getting very near His S. Heart, and will help me to live only by Him, and in His Spirit. Oui spiritu Dei aguntur, hi sunt filii Dei.’ . . . | shall be at Erdington till the 16. Send me just a line.

Ever Yrs. in amore Xti,

• Columba, Abb.

? Autobiography and Life of George Tyrrell (London, 1912). On Von Hiigel see Note 3 to Letter 12 of this Section. **“For whosoever are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God” (Rom.

8:14).

Ht Pax Tournai, 16 Feb. [1913] My dear Child,

... Your letter was a great consolation on my jubilee day.’ I do hope that I may henceforth live all for God alone. I feel Our Lord wants me to live as He did, propter Patrem;* and that in two senses. 1. That all my inspiration may come from Him; 2. all my activity be employed for Him.

There is to be an election in May for a coadjutor-Primate O.S.B. with the right of succession. It is of very great importance for us. The Cardinal thinks I may be selected; but I don’t think so. I would be much freer during vacation than I am at present; but I leave all that to God.

God bless you and keep you close to His Heart. There I find you every morning.

. Y OUISh ile EG! Columba.

P.S. I am going to buy a pocket Breviary with your too generous gift.

Pax Abbaye de Maredsous, 8 Dec. 1913. My dear Child,

Just a word to say that since my last visit, I feel more than ever that God has given you to my keeping, to help you to arrive at perfect union, and the perfect accomplishment of His will. It is not that I am any better, or as good as many of those who have come in contact with you, but I feel that I have been sent; that Our Lord has said to me when confiding your soul to me: Ego ero tecum.' I try to answer this call of the Divine Master by daily prayer for you. I want, before you leave, to give you a pledge of that union which Our Lord

• Twenty-fifth anniversary of his monastic profession on February 10, 1888.

• “By the Father’ (John 6:58). *<T will be with thee” (Exod. 3:12). has established between our souls. It is a reliquary which I am sending you by this post. It contains two relics; both absolutely authentic. The one of St. Edmund has just been sent me from Pontigny, where the Saint’s body is preserved; and it is a piece of his flesh. The other is a bone of St. John Berchmans.

In all your troubles and pains know that you have a friend, who is most sincerely devoted to you; and whose greatest joy will be to help you gain that perfect union with God in Xt., which is His own dearest wish.

I am suffering from a severe attack of influenza.

Ever Yrs. in J.C. + Columba, Abb.

XXXITI.

4 Pax Maredsous, 30 Dec. [1913]. My dear Child,

I am so busy, but you must not think that when I used to spoil you with long letters we were more, or as, united in J.C., as now. I ever pray for you; and feel Our Lord has given you to me to prepare for union with Him. The little Infant, who is in our heart, is gazing on the Face of His Father, semper apparet vultui Dei pro nobis: He sees in His Father’s Eternal Love the place you occupy; God’s plan for you, a plan so minute that “not a hair of your head falls without Him.”? Give yourself up to Jesus, the Eternal Wisdom, in order that He may lead you and guide you to the fulfilment of that ideal. Now this is enough for you to think about in that till I see you. I should so wish to run down to see you; but I fear that is impossible.

May God bless and protect you.

Pi vciaey GSeriiie | as Columba, Abb.

• «That he may appear now in the presence of God for us” (Heb. 9:24). ? See Matt. 10:29-30.

Pax Roscrea’ 6 Jan. 1914. My dear Child,

Just a word to say, I have got all the letters and am writing... . Were I to listen to my heart of hearts I should certainly go to see and bless you; but this may not be this time. As I know you will be pleased to hear it, I shall tell you that God is blessing my retreat wonderfully. They are in a state of great enthusiasm over it. May God be blessed who thus employs such poor little creatures to be His instruments. As regards your question Secretum meum mihi;* God does not expect you, nor approve of your opening your heart often. No one has a right to such communications, but those to whom God has confided your soul.

May God bless you and love you as I do in Him,

• Columba, Abb.

• Pax Abbaye de Saint-Benoit, Maredsous, par Maredret, le 14 March 1914. My dear Child,

The time approaches when you must leave, and go where God calls you. I very often think of this, and, to be candid, with a certain sadness. I want you like Abraham to put yourself in God’s hands absolutely. Every time that God called Abraham, his invariable answer was: Adsum,' no explanations, no plans. The Lord calls, and the servant obeys. I want you to choose a day on which you wish to make your offering of self to God’s loving Providence. Let me know the day, and I shall offer H. Mass for you, and place you on the paten with Jesus, so that your oblation may be agreeable to the Father. The more I gaze at God through the eyes of Jesus living in my heart, the more clearly I see that nothing can be so high, so

• Cistercian abbey in Ireland where Abbot Marmion was preaching the annual retreat.

? “My secret to myself” (Isa. 24:16).

• “Here I am” (Gen. 22:1). This was Abram’s response when the Lord called him and instructed him to take his beloved son Isaac, begotten in his old age, and sacrifice him to the Lord. divine, as to remit oneself totally to God. Surely the Creator has a right to dispose of the creature whom He has drawn from nothing; surely He, in His infinite wisdom, knows what we are suited to accomplish in His plan. Surely His infinite Love is the most secure resting place for our blindness and weakness. What I want to see in you, dear child, is that profound conviction that all our real strength is in the Virtus CAristi. St. Paul is so anxious that this virtue alone should be the source of all his activity that he rejoices in his weakness and takes glory in it.? It is this divine virtue, coming to His members from Christ, which gives all this beauty to our actions. As the Church prays in one of her collects: in sola spe gratiae celestis innititur.’ I am D.G., well and happy, though daily trials meet me. His Eminence is here at present in retreat. He is a real saint. May God bless and guard you and lead you to His perfect love. vere ts aitiy | ec +H Columba, Abb.

(Postcard) London, Tyburn, 23 Sept. 1914. I have just got through the German lines, and was on the point of being shot. I was looking for a house for a great part of my Community,’ as we can’t hold out any longer.

Columba, Abb. XXXVII.

• Pax 23, Parkhill Rd., Hampstead, | London | 15, Dec. [1914]. My dear Child,

I am sending you the photo promised. I am so much better. You told me I could have recourse to you in my wants with a brother’s freedom. Well, if you could send me a J/it#le altar-linen, for our new house, it would be most welcome. We shall be six priests, and we ei Cora:0.

$«.. [so that thy servants] putting all their trust in the hope of thy heavenly favor.’ Collect of the Fifth Sunday after Epiphany.

The youngest monks, who had taken refuge in England after the invasion of Belgium. They found shelter at Edermine, Ireland, thanks to a generous benefactress. shall want purificators, etc. Just a little, s.v.p.* Our address is Edermine House, Enniscorthy, Co. Wexford.

I pray for you all with all my heart. Do ask Our Lord to take me back to His Heart during these few days I shall be spending at Edermine. I get there about the atst.

Ever iY rsesitin) Columba, Abb.

XXXVIII.

(Postcard) ha Dax Edermine, Enniscorthy. 2 March [1915]?

I have just received your letter. I could come either the week before, or the week after Laetare Sunday, that is to say between 8-13, or between 15-21. How many a) days? b) conferences?

My voice has come back but is still feeble. I am better since I came here. The solitude is delightful and the community most fervent.

Dom Chapman went to Rome to work with D. Gasquet on the Vulgate.”

Yours (in J.C.) 4? Columba, Abb.

XXXIX. tH Pax Edermine, Enniscorthy. 28 June [1915] My dear Child,

Don’t be cross with me, but I fear I must modify my plans, malgré moi.’ My retreat at St. Bernard’s* ends on the 18th. I may get up to

• S’ul vous plait (If you please).

• The original of this letter is in French.

?Dom Chapman (whose remarkable Spiritual Letters were published in 1935) was still at this writing a monk of Maredsous. After the War he transferred to Downside Abbey, where Dom Aidan Gasquet (who had been made a cardinal in 1914), was also a member. These two monks worked in Rome on the revision of the Latin Vulgate text of the Bible, an assignment given them by the Pope himself.

**Tn spite of myself” —i.e., in spite of my wishes in the matter.

*Mt. St. Bernard’s, Cistercian abbey in Leicestershire, England, where Abbot Marmion was preaching the annual retreat.

London that night or next day. I must remain at London 2 or 3 days, as 8 of my young Monks have just been convoked for the army; and I must leave no stone unturned to prevent their going out as soldiers. Four of my young Monks who arrived at Calais lately were told that they were not wanted, —and are trying to get |assigned | as vicaires* in a French diocese; and nevertheless they insist on my sending out 8 more, who are in holy orders and at their studies. I am then odliged to go to Ramsgate to settle a delicate matter with two of my monks, who are in that monastery. Then I must go to Sheffield the 23, 24-25th on important business regarding our financial position, & on the 26th I begin at Southwark! ° As I finish at Southwark on the 31 . . . I must return to begin a retreat at Dublin the 5th.® In your last letter you told me you were suffering. I have seldom suffered more im every way, than for some time past. I feel we have to take out our part in the general expiation, which is being offered to God’s justice and sanctity. My soul, my body, my senses, [. . .|” God Himself, all things seem to combine to make me suffer. May His holy name be blessed. I pray daily, and name you daily at Mass. I feel then the Communion of saints, and sinners. May God bless and protect you all. Your Father “# Columba, Abb.

Pax Abbaye de Maredsous, 16.VII.19. My dear Child,

I have just received your letter. I have been praying for you —as I do daily, for I look on you as that soul whom Our Lord has confined to me above all others; and with whom I am the most united. God has given me lately to see that the greatest and highest act of love is

• Actually they did their military service as medical orderlies.

• Literally, “vicar,” but equivalent to “curate” or assistant pastor. ° A retreat to the clergy.

° A retreat to the Dominican nuns.

• An erased word. to offer oneself to Him to bear the burden of souls which He lays on us. It is the highest obedience. It is most like that of Jesus. St. Benedict thus described it: regere animas et multorum servire mortbus —“to govern souls and become the servant of the characters and whims of many.” ? Let us help each other by our union with Jesus, — in Him by the union of our prayer. My cross at present is very heavy. My Community is very numerous; but they are, though very fervent and excellent, in many ways affected by the wave of democratic ideas which fill the air. Then I am beginning to feel the effects of age (61), especially since my last grave illness.” I am still in good health, but weak, and more and more inclined to drowsiness, which is a torment at Office, at prayer, and even at H. Mass.* It costs me more to say my fiat to this, than to any other divine permission. I should like immensely to see you. ... Still, God gives me great grace, and I become more and more detached from all creatures; and keep my eyes ever fixed on eternity.

~ Ever Yrs. # Columba, Abb.

Xr

Pax Abbaye de Saint-Benoit, Maredsous, 21.VI.20. My dear Child,

Please forgive my long silence. It is not forgetfulness, for I pray for you daily, and with my whole heart of hearts; but I am crushed with work and worries. On reading your letter, I saw that your soul is passing through the fire of Jove in darkness. St. Francis de Sales paints your state perfectly, while describing his own during the last years of his life. A prince had a musician who was most devoted to him. His joy was to rejoice the heart of his prince by his beauteous

• Rule of St. Benedict, chap. 2: What sort of man the abbot ought to be.

• During a journey to the British Isles in 1919, Abbot Marmion became so seriously ill in Dublin that he thought he was dying.

® This almost insurmountable drowsiness was a great trial, and one that lasted until his death. See his private note in which he reveals that he had asked the Holy Father’s intercession for relief from this affliction (Section XIV, Letter 7, Note 5). singing, and the sweet harmony of his music. However, at the same time, he himself took a vast pleasure in listening to his melodies. At last he became absolutely deaf. He could no longer find any pleasure for himself in his music and chant; but he continued to play and sing with all his heart just to give pleasure to his beloved prince. This is your case. I Rnow your heart; and I know that you love God dearly, as He loves you. But just as Jesus on the cross, He alone must see and feel the fragrance of that love. You must be immolated in the darkness of Calvary. Take this as certain.

I had a nice visit from the Queen.’ She was most gracious, and had a long chat with me in my apartments. She also had herself photographed several times standing by my side. She gave me a beautiful chalice all adorned with pearls and rubies. I am very fond of her.

May God bless and love you, and take you al/ to Himself.

Your most devoted in J.C. Columba, Abb.

Pax Maredsous, 8.1X.1920. My dear Child,

I am grateful to God for having heard my prayer for you. That light did come from Him. The S. Humanity had no human person; (it is that human person that is the object of our self love, and all its consequences: sensitiveness, susceptibility, etc.; we must immolate it to the Divine Spouse the Word, and thus all such barriers are broken down); and so gave itself to the Divine Spouse the Word without any barrier. This is your exemplaire. If you could dash every child born of self-love against the rock Xt.* your union would be perfect. I pray for this for us.

God bless you and love you as I do.

Columba, Abb.

• Queen Elizabeth of the Belgians. See Section III, Letter 20. * Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue. See also I Cor. 10:4.

Pax Maredsous. 30-V-21.' My dear Child in Jesus-Christ,

There is some discussion about the meaning of Canon 645. Some have a little doubt that it applies to those who have finished these three years. However, the most probable opinion, and one which agrees perfectly with the spirit of the Canon is that if there has been no deceit or deliberate concealment, an illness which appears after profession is not a legitimate cause for dismissal. I should never dare act on such a motive, but I should try to bring the person to ask for a dispensation, or to leave voluntarily at the expiration of the 3 years.

I shall pray a lot for you these days. I too need prayers to know and carry out God’s will. My niece, | Annie], is at the point of death; as also my nephew Jos. Marmion, who was an army doctor during the war, and fell ill at Gallipoli. He never entirely recovered. He was an excellent christian, going to Holy Communion almost every day. He was operated on last Friday, but there is little hope for him.

God bless and love you.

P.S. May I ask you to send me back the note-book, as I need it for reference.

Pax Maredsous, [October, 1922] My dear Child,

I have been praying for you from my heart of hearts that God and His H. Spirit may give you the light and the strength to draw, from the trial He has sent you, not bitterness, but holy joy in union with that of Jesus in His Passion. It is certain that our Heavenly Father so loves that a hair of our head does not fall without His permission. I am sure that all that has happened to you, in its intimate details, was known and even willed for you by Him. You need have no fear that I should let any one know your sentiment, just as I don’t tell

• This letter is retranslated from the French translation of an English original that has been lost. you theirs. I do want you to unite with Jesus in His acceptance of the humiliations and deceptions He has endured for us: Saturabitur opprobris,’ Until you can embrace, not only His cross but His humiliations, you will never be entirely His, nor taste His peace and joy. He touched the very bottom of the abyss; and loved it, because it was His Father’s Will. That is what I want from you; what He wants from you.

I am so rushed at present. I really have not a moment.

May God bless and love you.

• Columba, Abb.

(Fragment from a lost letter.)

1. [.. .| full of abandoning of self to His love will come of this. I feel like Mary gazing on Jesus dying on the cross. I suffer because you are very dear to me; but I offer you to Him, because He wishes it so. You may depend on my absolute discretion, as I do on you. [. . .| |. . .| remembrance at the Altar. You are dearer to me now in your hour of suffering than ever, as you are certainly dearer to Him. May God bless and love you. Columba, Abb.

(Fragment from another lost letter.)

2. My dear Child,

I am in retreat, and have besides many cares and preoccupations; but I won’t interrupt my retreat to send you a few lines. For I do most firmly believe that Our Lord has united us in His love for our mutual help. I never celebrate H. Mass without offering you, and all your wants and infirmities in union with Jesus to His Father. I am glad you so |. . .| [. . .] I was delighted you had such a beautiful retreat. |. . .|