Letter I. To Messer Francesco Vai, Prato

He exhorts this his spiritual son to return to Rome, and gives him several pieces of advice,

Jesus Maria ! I don't know whether I ought to call you '' dearest," as people generally put at the beginning of letters, considering that your love of war, or rather of keeping a whole skin, is so great as to give you the heart to absent yourself from us all, father, friends, and brothers. Good sons are wont to assist their father in his necessities with their substance, their strength, and their life. I will say nothing about that man, who, albeit he was ignorant of Christ, gave himself up alive to redeem his father's corpse; and I will hold my tongue about many others besides, who ought to make you ashamed of yourself, because although you profess to be spiritual, you may perhaps be taken aback by a long string of examples, and have a fit of the same fear I spoke of, regarding a whole skin; whereas by rights you ought to have paid ready money for an opportunity like this of coming, if need was, to receive the crown of martyrdom. One may see from this that you have not as yet made a start, for death is in the habit of affrighting those only who are still in their sins; but not those who, like St. Paul, have desired, and do desire, to die and be with Christ ; and

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3S6 LETTERS OF ST. PHILIP NERI

like Job, who lamented within himself that his days were so much prolonged, though he earnestly wished for death. Indeed, the truth is, one of the greatest crosses that can happen to a person such as I would wish you to be, is not to die for Christ, which perchance by coming here you might do. There is no one but would be willing to stand on Mount Thahor and see Christ transfigured ; but to go up to Jerusalem, and accompany Christ to Mount Calvary, few are willing. One who is a true Christian gains a knowledge of himself in the fire of tribulations; for as to the consolations you had with Brother Alexius on your journey, there is nothing wonderful in your reading, or shedding a few tears, or feeling some little glow of devotion more than usual, Christ drawing you by this sweet call to some little of His cross. Spiritual persons are wont to have first sweetness, then bitterness ; lay aside then this tepidity of yours ; drop the mask, take hold of the cross, and let not the cross take hold of you. Besides this, be prudent, and not troublesome to anybody; take care that others may rather have of yours than you of theirs, because a spiritual man must rather give than have; and if, as you have written me word, you have met with so much humility and benevolence, do you on your part learn to be amiable and lowly; and if the friend you praise so much has shown you hospitality nine days in Florence, for one time you have entertained him at Prato, remember that you are under an obligation to entertain him there eighty-one days. But since, to my misfortune, I have a secretary who does not let me see too much of him, and who has so little memory that he would have driven fine conceits even out of Solomon's head, I must draw to a close, all the more as I am ill in bed visited by the Lord. Pray to God, and with this I will conclude, that I may draw fruit out of it for my soul, not forgetting at the same time to recommend me to Sister Caterina, whom you must beg to pray that I may be enabled to gain a great number of souls, and may not bury in the earth the talents I possess, whether they be five, ten, three, or one. Recommend me, too, to Messer. Giovanni Simoni, and beg him to mind and recommend me to Messer. Francesco Buonsignori, and do you recommend me to him for me when you go to Florence.

I should not wish, therefore, as I said when you went away, that you should inconvenience yourself to come here, so long as you are well both in mind and body, and can feel that you have the means of advancing, and persons to direct you. I leave it to you to decide whether you will come: I can truly say that there is nothing to fear here on account of the wars, so do not let fear make you tiuu back ; or anything else either. Pray to God for me, for I am ill of body, and my soul is by no means as I would have it. Simone and Lodovico Cancellieri, who have written this letter for me, recommend themselves to you. — Yours,

Philip Neri,

Rome, November 6, 1556.