Letter XIII. To a Man of the World

On the fear of death and of the judgments of God.

Sir, — I am truly in a great trouble to know how much you have suffered in this severe and painful illness, from which, as I hope, you will recover. I should have had very much more pain if on every hand I had not been assured that, thanks to God, you have been in no sort of danger, and that you begin to take up your strength, and are in the way of health again.

But what gives me more apprehension now is that besides the evil you suffer through corporal infirmities, you are overcharged with a violent melancholy: for I know how much this will retard the return of your health, and indeed work in the opposite direction.

It is here, sir, that my heart is greatly oppressed; and according to the greatness of the lively and extreme affection with which it cherishes you (beyond what can be said), it has an extraordinary compassion for yours. If you please, sir, tell me, I beg you, what reason have you for nourishing this sad humour which is so prejudicial to you? I fancy your mind is still embarrassed with some fear of sudden death, and of the judgments of God. Alas! what a dreadful torment is this! My soul, which endured it for six weeks, is very capable of compassionating those who are afflicted with it.

But, sir, I must speak a little with you, heart to heart, and tell you, that whoever has a true desire to serve our Lord and to avoid sin, ought not at all to disquiet himself with the thought of death or of the Divine judgments. Although both are to be feared, still the fear should not be of that terrible and terrifving nature which beats down and depresses the vigour and strength of the soul, but should be a fear so mixed with confidence in the goodness of God as by this means to become gentle.

And it behoves not, sir, that we doubt whether we may trust in God when we find it difficult to keep from sin, or when we imagine or fear that in occasions and temptations we may not be able to resist. Oh! no, sir; for distrust of our strength is not a failure of resolution, but a true acknowledgment of our misery. It is a better state of mind to distrust our own power of resistance to temptation than to look on ourselves as sufficiently strong and safe. Only we must take care that what we do not expect from our strength we do expect from the grace of God. Hence many, with great consolation, have promised themselves to do wonders for God, who, when it came to the point, have failed; and many who have had great distrust of their strength, and great fear of failing on trial, have suddenly done wonders: because this great sense of their weakness has urged them to seek the aid and succour of God, to watch, pray, and humble themselves, so as not to enter into temptation.

I say that if we feel we should have neither strength nor even any courage to resist temptation, if it presented itself at once to us, provided that we still would desire to resist it, and hope that if it came God would help us, and if we ask his help, we must by no means distress ourselves, since it is not necessary always to feel strength and courage. It suffices that we hope and desire to have it in time and place; and it is not necessary to feel in ourselves any sign or any mark that we shall have this courage; it is enough that we hope God will help us.

Samson, who was called the strong, never felt the supernatural strength with which God helped him except at the actual times; and hence it is said that when he met the lions or the enemies, the spirit of God came upon him to kill them. So God, who does nothing in vain, does not give us the strength or the courage when there is no need to use them, but at the necessary time nothing is wanting; hence we must always hope that in all occurrences he will help us, if we call upon him. And we should always use the words of David: Why are you sorrowful, my soul, and why do you disquiet me 2 Hope in the Lord;• and his prayer: When my strength fails, 0 Lord, forsake me not.f Well, then, since you desire to be entirely God's, why do you fear from your weakness, in which you are to put no sort of trust? Do you not hope in God? Ah! He who trusteth in him, shall he ever be confounded?% No, sir, he shall never be. I beseech you, sir, to quell all the objections which might arise in your mind. You need make no other answer to them save that you desire to be faithful on all occasions, and that you hope God will make you so. There is no need to test your spirit, to see whether it would or no; these tests are illusive; many are valiant while they do not see the enemy, who are not valiant in his presence; and, on the contrary, many fear before battle, to whom the actual danger gives courage. We must not fear fear.

So much on this point, sir. Meanwhile, God knows what I would do and suffer to see you entirely delivered. I am your, &c.