Chapter XXIV. How to Rule the Tongue

THE tongue of man needs to be well ruled and restrained, because we are all too inclined to let it run on and discourse upon things which are most agreeable to our senses.

It is usually pride which is at the root of much speaking. We persuade ourselves that we know a great deal, and take delight in our own conceits; and then, we strive by a multitude of words to convey to others the same idea, so as to gain an ascendancy over them, as though they stood in need of our instruction. To express in a few words all the evils which arise from much speaking is an impossibility.

Talkativeness is the mother of idleness, the evidence of ignorance and folly, the door of slander, the purveyor of falsehood, the damper of fervent devotion.

A multitude of words kindles the evil passions, and these in turn incite the tongue to continue its thoughtless utterances.

Indulge not in lengthy conversations with those who are bored thereby, lest you weary them, nor with those who like to listen to you, lest you go beyond the bounds of modesty.

Do not speak loudly, or in a dictatorial manner, which is odious to others and a mark of presumption and vanity.

Never speak of yourself, or of your doings, or of your family, unless there is real necessity for doing so, and then be as brief, as reserved as possible. If others seem to you to talk too much about themselves, try to view their conduct in a favourable light; but do not copy it, even though their words may tend to self-humiliation and self-condemnation.

Rarely speak of your neighbour and of his affairs, unless, indeed, an opportunity offers of saying something in his favour.

Be ready to speak of God, and especially of His Love and Goodness, but with guardedness, lest you fall into some error concerning Him; and rather delight to hear others speak of Him, treasuring up their words in your inmost heart.

Let the sound of men's words strike only upon your ear, and let your heart be lifted up to God; and, if you must listen to what they say in order to know how to reply to them, still forget not to raise your eyes thoughtfully towards Heaven, where God dwells, and contemplate His loftiness, as He deigns to regard your vileness.

Whatever comes into your mind for you to speak, ponder over it well before you utter it, for you will discover that much which you were going to say had better remain unspoken. Indeed I go further, and assure you, that not a few of those things, which you have after consideration spoken, would have been better if they had been consigned to silence; and the truth of this you will perceive, if, when the occasion for speaking is past, you reflect upon what you have said.

Silence, beloved, is a safe stronghold in the spiritual battle, and a sure pledge of victory.

Silence is the friend of him who distrusts self and trusts in God; it is the guardian of the spirit of prayer, and a wonderful help in the attainment of virtues.

If you would learn to bridle your tongue, think often upon the evils and dangers of talkativeness, and the great advantages of silence. Love this virtue; and from time to time (in order to gain the habit of it) keep silence even when you might lawfully speak, provided no prejudice arise from it to your neighbour or to yourself.

And to keep aloof from conversation will be the more helpful, because instead of men, you will have for your companions the Angels, the Saints, and God Himself.

Finally, give yourself to the thought of the conflict in which you are engaged, that, seeing how much lies before you, you may the more easily refrain from overmuch talking.