Book II, Chapter VI

In whatever instance a person seeketh | himself, then he falleth from love

(On these words) — " In whatever instance a person seeketh himself, then he falleth from love.” B. iii. c. 5.

Question. — How may we lose the love of God?

Answer. — By loving and seeking ourselves. Fully to understand this truth, it must first be remarked, that one who desires to make much progress in the way of perfection, cannot do better than to direct his whole intention towards God, and, in all things, to seek Him simply. This is the principal effect of divine love, and he who aspires to perfect holiness, must needs follow this path to arrive at it; he must propose to himself as his only aim, to please our Lord; and thither must all his thoughts and all his desires tend. For if he dwells on himself, instead of lifting up his mind to God, after the manner of those who faithfully seek Him, he falls, and becomes earthly and carnal, full of self-love, and the slave of his passions, from whence proceed three great evils.

1. The first is, that he loses that light, without which it is impossible to walk safely, and then becomes blind, because he cannot receive illumination from above. But one who looks ever to God, and who approaches Him with true humility, receives light, God being Light, (1 John i. 5;) and the instant that he I turns away, this Divine brightness disappears. That I which separates him from God, is attachment to his own interests; for one who thinks only of himself, who loves himself alone, is always in darkness, and

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78 BY SELF-LOVE WE LOSE THE LOVE OF GOD. cannot, in this state, perceive the truth, because he J sees all things in the false colours with which selflove depicts them to his imagination, as when we look through a blackened glass, all that we see appears dark.

2. The second evil is, that we are soon discouraged when things do not succeed as we desire. This is the reason that if, after making some efforts to break our bonds, and to lift up ourselves to God with an up-; right intention, we begin once more to mingle a little; self-love in our good works, we feel an internal weight and suffering, of which we can hardly guess the cause. How often has it happened to us, in the ordinary course of our lives, to find ourselves weary, tired, and dissatisfied This was caused, and is t almost invariably caused, by a secret self-seeking, i We think we have the best intention possible; we could swear that in the undertaking we have in hand, we regard God Alone; and yet we are sad, and feel a certain distaste which troubles our peace of mind. This is to be attributed only to this unregulated selflove. On the one hand, we have strength and courage, through the motive of the honour of God; on the other, we are weak, feeble, languishing, when we consider our own interest. “ If there lurk in thee any self-seeking, behold, this it is that hindereth and weigheth thee down.” B. iii. c. 11.

Often, after having performed some good work, you are delighted to be praised and thanked for it. This vain joy is caused only by the part that you have had in the affair. But if, having met with bad success, you are reproached and ridiculed, this is sufficient to fill your heart with bitterness for many days. Whence proceeds this vexation which you try to conceal, but which gnaws you inwardly? It is that things have not succeeded as you hoped. You would fain take a lofty flight; but hardly have

BY SELF-LOVE WE LOSE THE LOVE OF GOD. 79 t~ ’!

j you power to drag yourself along and crawl on the earth. Perform all your actions for God, propose to I yourself nothing hut His glory, you will be entirely free, and without self-reproach, i Few enjoy entire freedom of heart, because there I are few who so love God as to desire nothing beside Him; and the greater number, thinking only of themselves, and of what others may say or think of them, make themselves voluntarily slaves of the world. “ Separate yourself from yourself,” said St. Augustin, “ for there is nothing which troubles you more than yourself.” That which gives you uneasiness is, not the affair which you have to conduct, nor the employment with which you are charged, it is the attachment to your own interest, and the fear of something vexatious happening to you. Think no more of that; be wholly devoted to God: beware lest you be like those who, not endeavouring “ perfectly to die unto themselves, therefore remain entangled in themselves, and cannot be lifted up in spirit above themselves.” B. iii. c. 53.

How can a bird fly when its wings are glued, or a I weight is attached to its feet? Too great desire of i being at ease, and of succeeding in every thing, hinders us from going to God. When the interest is great and pressing, when our whole property is eni dangered, when an attempt is made to ruin our repu- tation, what efforts do we not make to prevent and turn away this misfortune Why is it that we then take so much trouble, and leave all our other occupations? Why are we incapable of doing many things I which before we did very easily? It is that all the powers of the soul are, as it were, bound to one single object; it is, that we have not entrusted the conduct i of this affair, or the care of refuting this calumny, to the hands of Providence. The soul thus retaining but very little strength to perform her duties, we need I

80 BT SELF-LOVE WE LOSE THE LOVE OF GOD.

I not wonder that they are done very feebly and im- perfectly. j

3. The third evil which befalls those who seek them- I selves is, that they commit innumerable faults. For I being deprived of the light from heaven, weakened by the passions which have acquired dominion over them, and completely occupied in seeking their own comfort, they cannot do otherwise than fail in many particulars of their duty. They suffer many disorders which they are bound to prevent, thus betray- I ing the cause of God by a base compliance with scandalous sinners; they bend and yield when they should display firmness; they flatter when they should reprove; they fly on occasions when they ought to face the enemy; they sleep while the house of God is in flames. This is extremely displeasing to the Lord, whose service ought to be preferred to all human interests. Thus they walk amidst the shadows of a dark night; they wander, fall, and are wounded, for want of seeing the path they ought to follow.

The cause of all these irregularities, is the want of an upright intention, of love for God, and of faithfulness and zeal for His Glory. God’s true servants care nothing for their own concerns, but despise themselves; and this makes them more ready and more free to employ all their powers in that which regards their Master’s honour. For this reason, also, it is, that the Saints constantly preach to us this one thing, that the surest way of serving God is to forget, ourselves, and to sacrifice all to the glory of the Lord. To lose our credit, to be deserted by those whose esteem we deserved, is very hard for the un- i mortified; for one who is not entirely dead to him- i self, can hardly turn his eyes away from the things i that flatter his passion thus he deprives himself of many graces, and falls into innumerable sins.

HOW WE ARE TO AVOID SELF-SEEKING. 81 j

Self-love is the root of all the passions. When it has excited them, they are like impetuous winds, causing violent agitations, which are commonly followed by lamentable shipwrecks. When once we have re- 1 nounced our own interests, we are sheltered from those storms which destroy so many lovers of them- selves and devotees of pleasure. “If thou hadst but once perfectly entered into the secrets of the Lord Jesus, ” says our Author, “ and tasted a little of His • ardent love; then wouldst thou not regard thine own convenience or inconvenience.” B. ii. c. 1. Would to God that we did taste the sweetness of that love, i which, binding our hearts to the Heart of Christ, makes us share His feelings, and embrace His teaching We should care very little what the world might say or think, and the uprightness of our intentions would be preserved uninjured.

Question. — What then must we do to avoid this self-seeking, and to renounce our own interests?

Answer. — First, whatever is our age, whatever our situation, we must resolve to refuse nothing to God, and to desire nothing but God. We must believe that in no other way can we destroy our self-love. We never rise above flesh and blood, said St. Augustin formerly we are always employed in seeking honour and pleasure; nothing moves us much which does not regard our own credit or repose. We do not entirely forget the things of God, but we are very negligent and weak in them; we look at them afar off; and if we sometimes apply ourselves to J them, it is only on extraordinary occasions; in general we think only of the success of our own little designs.;

2. The second thing for which we must labour, is to die continually to ourselves; to overcome ourselves, I not only on great occasions, but even on little ones, j

SIMPLICITY SEEKS, PURITY FINDS GOD.

“For it is no small benefit for a man to forsake himself even in the smallest things.” B. iii. c. 39. St. Ignatius commands the members of his company particularly to study self-abnegation, and an entire and continual mortification. The man who makes this his principal study, will infallibly drive from his heart the enemy of divine love, which is the love of self.

3. The third thing to be done is so to devote the. mind and heart to the right direction of our intention, that with a simple and sincere eye we may see God in all things, do all for His glory, and be careful never to turn aside our look, either for want of reflection,

or through natural impetuosity. Thus shall we be, free to fly to God, and to unite ourselves very closely with Him, according to the law of perfect love.

I CHAPTER VII. j