55. Knowing God— First Sermon for Trinity Sunday

Synopsis — Deserted by the world, the Apostles turned inward to God — They went bach to the city, recalling the teaching of Jesus — They fearfully examined their souls and bitterly repented of their sins — They grew in hope, and confidently awaited the Holy Spirit — Reasons why He had not been granted them before.

FIFTH SERMON FOR THE FEAST OF PENTECOST. Then they returned to Jerusalem. — Acts i, 12.

When the eternal Son of God had finished the work His Father had sent Him to accomplish, and His bodily presence had been taken away from His disciples, they returned from the Mount of Olives to Jerusalem.

And there they did six things. First, seeing themselves deserted by the whole world, seeing, too, that all Heaven's joy and consolation had been taken away from them, they turned inward. They withdrew their thoughts from all outward things, for this world was now wholly dead to them, and with it all the joy of transitory things.

Secondly, they resolved on self-renunciation. Now they had as leave die as live. As long as God's will were done and His honor saved, they cared not what might happen to them. Hence it was that they went back into the city, a place full of their enemies, because they had been so commanded by the Lord, there to await what His will had in store for them. This they did, although not without great fear.

Thirdly, they called to mind the sweet and holy teaching of Jesus by word and by example ; and how stupidly they had received it all ; how unworthy they had been to hear His words and to look upon Him ; and how feebly they had responded to His loving care. Recognizing all this, they confessed it before God with bitter sorrow of heart, and upbraided themselves with interior reproaches.

Fourthly, they now remembered how their beloved Master had in all things practiced self-sacrifice; that in His whole life He never was a self-seeker. They recalled, too. His words : "If any man will come after

Me, let him deny himself" (Matt, xv, 24). Upon this they inspected their own souls, and they owned that they were very far from true denial of self, and that they had copied Christ's example only in a natural way. They became aware that fear and other natural motives had not been displaced by higher ones. They sorrowfully confessed all this, and accused themselves bitterly, and despised themselves heartily.

Fifthly, they rose out of this humble state of mind, this candid avowal of dullness of soul and of disorderly inclinations, and they turned with sincere longings to their beloved Master. From the depths of their heart they implored Him to forgive their great imperfections, to cure all cowardice within them, to correct all the self-seeking of their perverted nature, and to utterly strip them of anything that could lead them astray from a true life, establishing in them the rule of His blessed humanity. All this they did with most hearty sincerity; otherwise, I do not believe that they would have received the Holy Ghost.

Sixthly, they aroused within their souls a gentle sentiment of confidence, recalling the word of their Master that He would bring them help and would comfort them. Although they saw themselves forsaken and opposed by all, and in the sorest necessity, yet were they full of a great confidence in their faithful Master and Lord. They were sure that He would not abandon them, even though they felt some misgivings on account of their unworthiness, and their lack of disengagement from worldly things.

And now you might ask this question : Since the disciples were dead to the world, and since they sincerely longed that all shortcomings of nature might be remedied by the Divine light, why was the Holy Ghost not given them immediately after the Lord's ascension? I answer that we cannot believe that the Holy Spirit was withheld from them during the interval between the ascension and Pentecost, and we may be sure that they received Him ; but only in a preparatory sort of way. They were to receive Him in far greater fullness at Pentecost. The more they advanced in self-knowledge and self-annihilation, so much the more plentifully was He imparted to them. He was delayed till Pentecost as to the fullnes of His graces, because they were not as yet entirely emptied of self. Then it was that their souls were perfectly ready for Him because entirely disengaged from other claimants. Only then ; that is to say when God's Spirit was poured into them and the Divine power finished the work of preparation : that preparation had been going on beforehand, but only then was it completed. God now was in their souls content with Himself as He possessed them. And this we will more fully explain in the next sermon. St. Gregory speaks of the disciples and of souls similar to them, when he says : "In proportion as the Divine power grows within us, so does our own spirit lose its strength; and thus do we increase wholly in God, as we decrease wholly in ourself." May this holy gift be granted us by the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.