Letter 53. To Mother Mary Baptist, Prioress, Segovia, May 13 and 14, 1574

OF VALLADOLID

Thanks for letters. Difficulties of the Discalced Fathers. Fathers Banez and Medina.

Jesus be with you, my daughter !

YOUR servant is a quick walker; I expected him to return to-morrow from Madrid, where I sent him because I knew no one else I could trust with this business, and he came back to-day, Thursday. I have to answer letters from Avila at the same time and, as neither my eyes nor my head are fit for the work, I cannot despatch them until to-morrow — God grant they may be ready even then! How I should like to write at leisure to you and the Señora Maria! I feel almost well, for the syrup I mentioned to our Father has cured my attack of melancholy and seems to have completely freed me from the fever.

I laughed a little at Father Domingo's letter, as I was without the complaint at the time, but do not tell him so because I sent him a very charming note which perhaps he may show you. Indeed, both of vour letters delighted me, especially yours telling me that that saint" is at rest after having died such a beautiful death. I am astonished at anyone regretting her great gain instead of envying her.

I feel for the severe troubles you have had and still have, my daughter, with these numerous and most important affairs. I know by experience what it means, but I do not think your health would benefit, but rather the reverse, by your having the rest of which you speak. I am certain of it for I know your character, so that I make little of your trials, for in one way or another you are bound to become a saint, and your longing for solitude does you more good than solitude itself would do.

Oh! if you only knew what an agitation is being made secretly in favour of the Discalced ! We ought to thank God for it. It has all been caused by the two who went to Andalusia: Gracian and Mariano. My joy is tempered by sorrow at the pain it will cause our Father General, to whom I am deeply attached. Yet I realise that otherwise we should have lost everything. Will you all pray about the matter. Father Domingo and some papers I am forwarding to him will inform you about the affair.

Do not send me your letters except by a thoroughly dependable messenger, even though you should be obliged to wait several days for one.

It is very unfortunate for us that our Father Visitor should be so far away; but even were the distance greater I think that certain matters would oblige me to send to him, for the other superior cannot decide some questions either on his own authority or as a deputy. May he hold his office for many years!

As for Father Medina, never fear that I should distress myself about him even were he far more embittered against me: indeed, he makes me laugh. I should feel half a word from Father Domingo far more keenly. The other owes me nothing, and I care little whether he likes me or not. As he has not seen our convents and knows nothing about them, he ought not to be put on a par with Father Domingo who loves them and looks upon them as something belonging to him: indeed, he has been their loyal defender.

You have had many disturbances conneóled with your affairs, yet every one would welcome them for her own house.

Remember me very kindly to Doña Maria Sámago; tell her it is the way of the world and we can trust no one but God. I believe all you say about her and her sister. It is a good thing that no more has been done regarding them, for we owe them gratitude and should have shown great ingratitude, especially to the Bishop. God will order things differently as time goes on, and we shall be able to help these ladies. I knew very well that the Señora Doña Maria would not be pleased. I meant to write to her but fear it will be impossible.

I must tell you that Doña Maria Cibrian is dead. Will you all pray for her. Give my warmest thanks to the Prioress of the convent of the Madre de Dios who is doing us a great charity here through her friend. She must excuse my not writing to her as I am not well and am suffering from my eyes. Take care of your own health; I do not want you to be injured by your many troubles and sleepless nights.

Oh, how I long to go and see you some day! We are not far from one another, yet I do not know how it can be managed. Tell my dear Casilda, if she thinks it prudent, to give the enclosed letter to her aunt to whom I showed the letter she wrote to me. The aunt has been very friendly to me for some time and I can trust her in every way.

I am sure to have forgotten something. God be with you and have you in His keeping for me, for I am extremely fond of you! I cannot tell how I can endure your feeling such aífeílion for my Father — it shows how you deceived me when I thought you were a great servant of God. May He make a saint of you !

To-day is May 14. I long to see my good Maria de la Cruz.' Give her and Stephany'" many loving messages from me. Father Paul Hernandez came back astonished at her progress, as he had reason to be.

Yours,

Teresa de Jesus.

I have just heard what advice you gave Isabel de San Pablo. She makes me laugh with her convents. She kept me alive in my last illness; her good temper and high spirits cheered me and she revived me by reciting the Divine Office with me. I assure you that she would perform any other duty just as well, and, had she the health, could with confidence be trusted to govern a convent.