That Our Talk and Conversations Ought to Be of God, and of Some Means to Make Them So

ET no evil word come from your mouth, says the Apostle (Eph. iv. 29), but let all your conversation be ever of good things, things of edification and profit for the hearers, apt to kindle and set them on fire with the love of God and the desire of virtue and perfection. This is a thing very necessary for us, since it is our end and institute not only to attend to our own spiritual progress, but also to that of our neighbor; and talk and conversations of this sort are one of the things that greatly edify those with whom we deal and does them much good. Besides the profit that these conversations carry with them, there is this, that people of the world, seeing that our conversation is always on these subjects, conceive a high idea and great respect for us, understanding him to be full of God who never converses with them except of God, and thus our ministrations in their regard are apt to be of great effect. Of Father Francis Xavier it is read in his Life that he did more good by his private conversations than by his sermons. And our Father in his Constitutions, treating of the means which they of the Society have to aid their neighbor, sets down this for one of the chief, and lays it down for a general rule that they of the Society are to be careful to make use of it, even the lay brothers.

That we may know how and be able to do this better, it will help us much, in the first place, to be accustomed here amongst ourselves to speak of good and spiritual things. We read of the blessed St. Francis that he made his religious often sit down by themselves to talk of the things of God, that they might be trained to this language and style of conversation when they should be in the company of seculars. And it is related there that once, when they were engaged in this holy conversation, the Lord appeared in the midst of them in the shape of a most beautiful youth and gave them His blessing, letting them understand how these conversations pleased Him. And in the Society there is this practice in the novitiate of often bringing the novices together to talk to one another of spiritual things; and all our life afterwards we are wont to have frequent spiritual conferences amongst ourselves in order to gain dexterity in this language; and besides it is much commended to us in our ordinary conversations.

St. Bernard in this matter gives a very good and grave reprehension to certain religious of his time, putting before them what was the custom in the golden age. “Oh, how far off we are,” he says, ‘from those monks that were in the time of St. Anthony and of St. Paul, the first hermit! When they met together and visited one another, all their conversation was of heaven, and they took with such avidity and hunger this food of the soul, speaking and treating of God and of the profit of their souls, that they forgot their bodily food and often went whole days fasting in this occupation. And that was a good order, since they served first the more leading and worthier part of themselves, which is the soul. But nowadays when we meet, there is none who asks for or distributes this spiritual and heavenly food, none who is wont in visits and conversations to speak of the Holy Scriptures or of what concerns the salvation of souls, but it is all laughing, joking, and words that the wind carries away. And the worst of it is,” says the saint, “the knowing how to entertain one another in this way is called affability and discretion, and the contrary is called dryness, rudeness, and rusticity; and those who speak of God are held up for melancholy persons, and their company is shunned. This charity is the ruin of true charity, and this discretion the ruin of true discretion. For what charity is it to love the flesh and despise the spirit? And what discretion is it to give all to the body and nothing to the soul?

To feed the body full and starve the soul is not discretion nor charity, but cruelty and a great breach of due order.” Tauler, a grave doctor, relates that the Lord once appeared to a great servant of His and told him with great emotion of six complaints that He had against His servants; whereof the second was that in their meetings and conversations they spoke of vain and pointless things, while as for Himself, none took His name in his mouth. Let us, then, take care that the Lord may not bring this complaint against us and may not be able to give us this reprehension.

St. Bernard and St. Bonaventure give another good means for always speaking of edifying things. It is that, when we go out to converse with our neighbor, we should have ready certain good and profitable things to say to them; and when they speak of idle and vain things, we should promptly put in things of edification to cut short and change the conversation, of which point our rules admonish us. And it is not much to ask that we who are religious should take this means to keep up talk and conversation about God, so proper to our vocation, since we see that people in the world do the same to keep up their worldly talk and conversation. In this we should show good understanding and discretion, and dexterity in setting bounds to and cutting short conversations not to the point, and bringing in the things of God.

A third thing that will help us much herein is a great love of God and great affection for spiritual things; because in this way we shall feel no weariness or disgust in speaking of God or hearing Him spoken of, but rather we shall take much delight therein; since it is no burden, but on the contrary a pleasure and delight for anyone to speak of that which he loves and has at heart. Else see with what hearty good will the tradesman speaks of his bargains and business. In season and out of season, at all times, he is glad to hear of a good opening for buying and selling. The farmer speaks readily enough of his tillage and crops, the shepherd of his calves and lambs. He who guideth the plough and glorieth in wielding the goad, will diligently urge on his oxen, and his whole occupation is his work in the fields, and his talk is of breeds of bulls (Ecclus. xxxviii. 26). Every man willingly talks of what is to him matter of business. So also with us, who have left the world and are aiming at perfection, if we have a great love of God and affection for spiritual things, all our joy and recreation will be to speak of those things and we shall not want matter of conversation. Thus it is a very good sign when one has a taste for speaking and talking about God, and a bad sign when one has it not, according to what St. John says: They are of the world, and therefore they talk of the things of the world (I John iv. 5).

St. Augustine, on those words of the Wise Man: Thou hast fed them with the food of angels, and hast given them bread from heaven, prepared with no labor of theirs, having in itself all that is delicious and the sweetness of all tastes (Wisdom xvi. 20), says that this manna from heaven, with which God nourished the children of Israel in the desert, had to each one the taste that he wished, according to the above words; but that, he goes on to say, must be understood only of the good, for to the wicked it had not the taste that they wished, otherwise they would not have asked and longed for other food, as they did ask and long for it. To these, not only did the manna not have the taste of all things desirable, but they came in time to be disgusted with it and cloyed with it, and they sighed after the flesh meat and remembered the fleshpots of Egypt, the cucumbers and melons and leeks and onions and garlic that they ate there; that they desired and longed for in preference. But the good were quite satisfied with the manna, and had no desire of other food nor memory of it, because in the manna they found all the tastes that they wished. Now this is the difference between good and perfect religious and the tepid and imperfect, that good religious have a great taste for spiritual things and the things of God and of speaking and talking of them, and they find in that manna all good tastes. God has for them the taste of all they desire, and they say with St. Augustine and St. Francis, My God and my all. God is all things to them, and they find in Him all that they desire. But to the tepid and imperfect this divine manna has not the taste of all things; but it disgusts them, and they reject it and rejoice rather in hearing of a story than of a matter of edification, which is not a good sign.

“Happy the tongue,” says St. Jerome, “that can speak only of God.” And St. Basil says: “To the true servant of God all vain and useless conversations are an annoyance; and conversations and talks about God are sweeter and more delicious than honey.” Hence it is that a soul that is much drawn to God, when she feels the want of virtuous recreation and some means of forgetting her labors and infirmities, has no need to distract herself with talks and conversations about idle and ridiculous things, for as she loves not those things, so they go rather to increase her pain and affliction. What consoles her and gives her relief is talking and hearing others talk of what she loves and desires. So we read of St. Catharine of Siena that she was never tired of speaking about God; rather it was her recreation and the means to increase her health and vigor and make her forget her infirmities and labors. And we read the same of many other saints.