How We Should Exercise Ourselves at Meditation in the Second Degree of Humility

OUR Father in his Constitutions lays down the rule that, “as worldly men love and desire with all earnestness honors, fame, and the reputation of a great name on earth, so they who are advancing in spirit and following Christ our Lord in good earnest, love and intensely desire just the opposite, desiring to suffer injuries, false witnesses, insults, and to be held and accounted fools, without, however, themselves giving any occasion therefore, because they wish in some measure to imitate Christ our Lord.” And he commands that all who are about to enter the Society should first be asked if they have such desires. It certainly seems a stiff thing for a novice who has just left the world and comes “raw bleeding,” as they say, to be examined by a rule so strait and of such perfection as this. There is seen the great perfection which our institute requires; it looks for men truly detached from self and entirely dead to the world. But because this is difficult and requires high perfection, our Father goes on to say that if anyone, through our human weakness and misery, does not feel in himself such inflamed desires, he should be asked if he has at least a desire of having them; and thereupon and in this disposition to bear in patience the like occasions when they offer, he will do; for this is a good disposition for learning and making progress. It is enough for a learner to start with a desire to know his trade and to apply himself to it; in that way he will get on with it. Religion is a school of perfection; come in with this desire, and by the grace of the Lord you will go out with what you desire. Herewith, then, let us commence this exercise and proceed, taking it little by little. You say that you feel in you no desires to be undervalued and made small account of. Begin there to exercise yourself in meditation on this virtue of humility; say with the prophet: My soul hath desired to desire thy righteous ways at all times (Psalm exiii. 20). O Lord, how far I see myself removed from having those lively and inflamed desires which those great saints and truly humble men had of being undervalued by the world! I should much wish to attain at least to having a desire of having those desires; I desire to desire that. You are going on well so far; that is a good beginning and disposition for gaining your end. Insist and persevere therein in your meditation; beg of the Lord that your heart may be softened, and occupy yourself therein for several days, since these desires are very pleasing to the Lord and He listens to them with very good will, as the prophet says: The Lord hath heard the desire of the poor, and the readiness of their heart, O Lord, thou hast listened to (Psalm ix. 38). Soon God will give you a desire to suffer something for His love and to do some penance for your sins; and when He gives it to you, in what can you better fulfil this desire of suffering, and in what can you do greater penance, than in being undervalued and made small account of in retribution for your sins? As David said, when Semei cursed and insulted him: Let him alone, perchance the Lord will be pleased to accept these insults and reproaches in atonement for my sins, and that will be a great gain to me (II Kings xvi. 10).

When the Lord has done you this favor that you desire to be undervalued and rated for little in order to be like Christ and imitate Him, you must not fancy that the business is all done and that you have gained the virtue of humility; rather you are then to reckon that you have to begin afresh to plant and consolidate the virtue in your soul. You must take care not to pass lightly over these desires, but stay on them a long time in your meditation until they become efficacious enough to pass into deeds. And when you have got so far that you think you bear well the occasions of humiliation that come in your way, observe that in the same outward act there are many degrees and steps to mount to arrive at the perfection of humility. First you must practise yourself in bearing with patience all the occasions that offer, tending to your loss of honor and reputation; therein you will find occupation for some time, quite possibly for a long time. Then you must go further, and not stop or rest until you come to rejoice under contempt and insult, and feel therein as much satisfaction as worldly people do in all the honors, riches, and pleasures there are in the world, according to that saying of the prophet: I have delighted in the way of thy commandments as in all riches (Psalm cxviii. 14). When we desire a thing in good earnest, we naturally rejoice at getting it: if our desire is great, we greatly rejoice; if little, little. Take this, then, for a sign to see if you desire to be made small account of and if you are growing in the virtue of humility. And the same in other virtues.

That we may profit more by this means of meditation and thereby imprint virtue more deeply on our heart, we should descend to particular cases and difficulties that may occur, animating ourselves and bringing ourselves to the point as though they were actually present, insisting and coming to a determination thereupon, until there is no obstacle in the way, but the road is clear. In this manner vice is gradually uprooted, and virtue sinks into the innermost recesses of the heart, and perfection grows. We find a good comparison to this effect in what goldsmiths do to refine gold. They melt it in the crucible, and when it is melted they throw in a grain of corrosive sublimate, and the gold begins to boil and bubble with great fury till it has consumed all the sublimate, and when it has consumed it, the gold is at rest. Then the goldsmith throws in another grain of sublimate, and the gold once more bubbles and boils, but not with such fury as the first time; and when the sublimate is consumed, the gold is still. A third time he throws in a grain of sublimate, and again the gold begins to bubble, but quietly. When for the fourth time he throws in a little sublimate, the gold makes no noise over the sublimate, but behaves as though they had thrown in nothing, because it is now refined and purified, and that is a sign thereof. Now this is what we have to do at meditation. Throw in a grain of sublimate, imagining some case of mortification and humiliation to present itself to you; and if you take fright and are troubled, stay thereon until by the heat of prayer this grain of sublimate is consumed, and you pluck up courage to meet that occasion, and remain quiet and tranquil in face of it. Again another day throw in another grain of sublimate, imagining another awkward occurrence involving much mortification and humiliation; and if still there is a bubbling and boiling and nature is troubled, rest thereupon until you exhaust the difficulty and feel at ease about it. Another and another time throw in another grain; and when the sublimate makes in you no noise nor trouble, but whatever turns up and comes before your consideration, you can regard it with much peace and tranquillity, then the gold is refined and purified; that is a sign of your having gained the perfection of the virtue.