Chapter VI

(i)

C 4T DON'T see that it's anything to do with you,"

said Val coolly. " As a matter of fact

He stopped abruptly as a waiter came, cleared away a little tray of glasses, and vanished once more.

The two brothers were talking to one another in the empty smoking-room, with that extraordinary frankness on which mere friends dare not venture lest the last ties of unity should be dissolved.

Austin had begun it, of course, by such a studiously tactful sentence that irritation on Val's part followed inevitably — a sentence accompanied by a careful adjustment of a little protruding tobacco at the end of his cigarette. And Austin had been provoked to it, he would have said, by Val's nonchalant air as he swaggered in. It was simply impossible for the elder brother to refrain from such criticisms sometimes, though he ought to have learned their futility long ago; for he was of those persons who are practically always in the right and have an amazing power of discerning when others are in the wrong. If they themselves were wrong sometimes it would not matter nearly so much.

He had just observed for the second time that it was all very well talking, but the fact remained that Val had not observed the etiquette this afternoon. And he had added with a maddening humility:

" I've got to learn just as much as you have, my dear chap. I've got to do exactly what I'm told too."

When the waiter had gone again, yawning a little ostentatiously, for it was getting on for midnight, and he would have to be up and dressed by six, Val finished his sentence.

" As a matter of fact, I've talked it all out with old Meredith. I don't see there's any necessity for going into it again, particularly with you."

Austin half closed his eyes as if in resignation.

" And why not with me? "

" Because, as you've just said, you don't know anything about it."

This was precisely true. Austin had an impulse to say no more. But Val was sitting on the edge of a table and swinging his leg with such an air that it was impossible to be silent.

" I know enough about it to... to behave decently on the ice with a man like Armstrong. I was simply ashamed of you."

io8 THE COWARD

Val turned an insolent face on him.

" Awful good of you, old man. Hadn't you better keep your shame for the next time you want it yourself? "

Austin rose with dignity.

" I've no more to say after that," he said. " But you'll kindly remember that I am responsible for you to some extent at any rate; and I don't want to have to write home and say - "

" Are you? " asked Val, with an air of bewildered innocence. " I thought Meredith was."

Austin went to the door. When he reached it he turned.

" Perhaps you aren't aware that you're keeping the whole hotel up? Everyone else has gone to bed."

" Well, you'd better look sharp, then," said Val, without turning round. " You mustn't lose your beauty sleep."

Five minutes later Val too walked along the corridors on his way to bed.

He had scored distinctly just now, in the little engagement. Usually it was he who lost his temper first and left the room. But in this instance, still vibrating from his encounter with " old Meredith,"

he had struck more sharply and shrewdly than usual, preserving his balance meanwhile.

Yet, by the time he had reached the room that the two brothers shared, his exultation was gone; and a rather hollow and sick feeling was beginning to reassert itself — the tide whose first bitter waves had broken on his conscience even while still on the glacier, so soon as he had recognised that recklessness was not thought admirable. It had seemed to him so fine at the time.... A spasm had seized him, and he had pushed on, knowing perfectly well that he ought not to have done so, yet impelled by a vague desire to prove himself as courageous as he had wished to be; he had gone up the edge of the serac swiftly and cleverly, and had balanced himself on the top with a sense of triumph. And then, little by little, he had begun to realise he had behaved badly.

Austin was reading resolutely in bed, as the other came in. A dark head, a humped shoulder, and the pages of a Tauchnitz volume revealed him to be there and awake. Val began to whistle gently. The head moved irritably on the pillow. Val smiled deliberately to himself and stopped whistling.

" I beg your pardon," he said elaborately.

There was no answer.

i ID THE COWARD

By the time he was in bed a more generous mood was on him. He snuggled down into the sheets.

" I say, old man, will you put out the lights when you've done. I'm going to sleep."

' You can put them out now," said a cold voice. " I was only waiting for you."

" Sure? I can wait a few minutes if you want."

"No; it's all right."

Val sprang up in bed, switched off the lights, and sank down again.

" I say, Austin."

"Well?"

" I'm sorry I spoke like that just now," said Val, with an effort. " I was beastly; I'm sorry."

'' That's all right," said the cold voice.

(It was one of the most emphatic rules of the brotherly warfare that an apology must be instantly accepted, and no further reference made to the crime by the injured party.)

But Val felt very generous just now.

" Yes, I really am," he said. " And I was entirely in the wrong this afternoon too."

Austin was still a little sore, and could not resist preaching.

" I'm glad you see that," came his voice from the darkness. " It's very important, you know, not to "

THE COWARD in

" I've said I'm sorry, haven't I? Do you want me to say it again? "

There was silence.

" I really thought it wasn't a bad place, you know/' pursued Val. " But I quite see now that that makes no difference. Old Meredith gave me what for, all right.... I say, do you think Tom was sick? "

" Do you wish me to say? You found fault with me just now for saying anything after you'd said "

" Good Lord! " snapped Val, breaking off this rather intricate sentence. " I asked you a question."

Austin sniffed. The sound was very distinct in the silent shadows.

" Well — yes, he was, if you want to know. He said "

Austin broke off. He was simply an adept at provocative aposiopeses; and I am afraid they were frequently deliberate.

" What did he say? " asked Val all in one breath.

" He said it really wasn't safe to climb with people who wouldn't do what they were told."

"Did he?"

" I am saying that he did."

There followed a silence.

" Austin."

ii2 THE COWARD

"Well?"

" I'd better apologise to him too, hadn't I? "

" I shouldn't think it would make much difference, your apologising. The thing to do is not to do it again."

There was an indignant rustle in the darkness.

" Good Lord, Austin. Can't you open your mouth without preaching? Haven't I said - '

Then a solemn and judicial voice silenced him.

" I think you'd better go to sleep. You aren't in a frame of mind to talk about it to-night. Good night, Val."

An insolent snore answered him.

Tom Meredith came down to breakfast rather late next morning; and, as he passed through on to the verandah, whither he had bidden a passing waiter to bring his coffee and rolls, a knickerbockered figure in a white hat, sitting in the sun, rose and greeted him.

"Morning, Tom. Going to breakfast?"

Tom nodded.

" May I come and sit with you! I want to talk. Don't mind a cigarette, do you? "

When the waiter had gone again, Val began.

" I say, Tom; I wanted to say I was beastly sorry about yesterday — about my not obeying, you know. Really I didn't know how important it was.'*

" That's all right, old chap," said Tom uncomfortably. (He privately wished people wouldn't talk like this.)

" No, really I didn't. I thought it wasn't a bad enough place," pursued Val eagerly...." Yes, I know what you were going to say — that that doesn't make any difference. I know that too, now."

Tom miserably began to butter his roll. He couldn't conceive what all the fuss was about. Certainly Val had done what he shouldn't; but he had been told that, and naturally he wouldn't do it again.

Val drew three rapid breaths of cigarette-smoke.

" You won't mind my climbing with you again, will you? "

" Of course not, my good chap! What made you think "

" Didn't you say to Austin it wasn't safe to climb with people who didn't do what they were told? "

Poor Tom racked his memory. (Really this admiring youth was becoming something of a bore.)

" Er — I don't remember that I did."

"You didn't say it?"

" I don't think so."

Val rose impressively.

ii4 THE COWARD

" Well, all that I can say is " he broke off.

" Well, I'm sorry, anyhow. And I thought I'd better say so. And I promise not to do it again."

'' That's all right," murmured Tom.

" See you later," said Val, vanishing.

" Austin," came a solemn voice five minutes afterwards in the smoking-room, " I want to speak to you a moment. Do you mind coming out? "

Austin sighed elaborately, and followed him.

Val went, as one leading a criminal to execution, out through the door, down the steps, and on to a deserted corner of the sunlit terrace. And there he turned.

" Didn't you tell me last night that Tom had said he wouldn't climb again with anyone who disobeyed during an expedition? Did you, or did you not? "

Austin sighed and sat down on the balustrade.

" I did not."

"You did!"

" I said that Tom said " — he clasped his head in his hands in a gesture of resigned bewilderment — " I said that Tom said that it wasn't safe to climb with people who wouldn't do what they were told."

" It's exactly the same thing."

" There seems to me a difference," observed the other wearily.

" Well, he didn't say it anyhow — or anything like it. I've just asked him."

" Then he's simply forgotten. I tell you he did say it to me — in the smoking-room directly after dinner."

" Was anyone else with you? "

" I think not at that moment."

Val sneered.

" Very convenient," he said. " Well, anyhow, Tom says he didn't. And he says he's simply delighted to go on climbing with me, just as before; and absolutely everything you said about him last night is rot.... I mean," explained Val, with offensive courtesy, " that you must have misunderstood him.... So there," he ended feebly.

" Is that what you brought me out here to tell me?"

" And enough too, I should think! "

" It seems to me singularly unimportant," remarked Austin, getting up again. " I told you exactly what Tom said to me — no more and no less. And you drag me out here and explain like... like a woman.... If you've quite done, I think I'll go indoors again."

And he moved back with a stately sauntering gait.

n6 THE COWARD

Now all this kind of thing was the worst of Val; for it was really characteristic of him. He had a nervous system strung on wires; a touch set all jangling. And then he would vibrate, and go on vibrating; and he would dive into his own being, and into little sentences that meant nothing, and torture himself and everyone else; and flick out particles of dust and disturb himself afresh. And then all would die into silence once more; and that same nervous system would inspire him to dreams and visions and dramatic situations and acute emotions that were never justified by the event.

And so, a couple of hours later, as the three boys set out for the Findelen glacier, ropes a-swing and axe heads marching in time, peace was returned to Val's soul, and Austin was beginning to recover his balance, and Tom was thinking that one really could have enough of a good thing — even of admiration for the Alps and for Alpine prowess.