Letter CXLV. To the Abbots Assembled at Citeaux

(Circa A.D. 1137.)

Bernard begs them to have compassion upon his labours and sufferings, and to excuse his absence on that account. He earnestly desires to die among his brethren, and not in a foreign land.¹

In much weakness of body and anxiety of mind, as God knows, have I dictated these words to you— a man miser able and born to suffering, yet your brother. Would that I might merit to have now the Holy Spirit, in whom ye have met together, as my advocate to your whole body, that He might impress upon your hearts the trouble that I am suffering, and bring before your brotherly affections my sad and suppliant countenance just as it now is. I do not pray Him to create new pity in you, for I know how familiar to you all is that virtue, but I do ask Him to give you a keen sense of how much loving pity I now stand in need. For I am certain that if that were given you, tears would unceasingly flow forth from the fount of your love, that groans and sobs and sighs would knock at heaven's gate, so that God would hear and be gracious unto me, and say, " I have restored thee to thy brethren, thou shalt not die amid strangers, but amongst thine own people." I am so worn, indeed, by my great labours and griefs that I am often awearied of life. But I speak as a man, because of my infirmity; I desire my life to be prolonged till I return to you, that I may not die away from you. For the rest, brethren, make good your ways, determining and holding to what is true, honest, and useful. Before all things endeavour to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, and the God of peace shall be with you.