35 — LET US TRADE WITH TIME

December 31

Presence of God. — On this last day of the year I recollect myself at the feet of the Child Jesus to consider, in the light of eternity, the value of time.

Meditation

1 — Time passes and never returns. God has assigned to each of us a determined time to realize the divine plan for our soul: we have only this time and no other. Time badly used is lost forever. The condition of our life is this continual flowing, this continual running of time that has no return; in eternity, instead, we shall be fixed, we shall be established. And we shall be established in that degree of love that we have reached now, in time; if such degree is great, in a great degree of love and glory we shall be established forever, but if we have reached a small degree, we shall not have more for all eternity. Once the flow of time is over, no progress is possible anymore. “Therefore, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all” (Gal. 6, 10). “It is a matter of giving each instant the maximum love, of making the fleeing instant eternal by giving it the value of eternity” (Sr. Carmela d. Sp. S., O.C.D.): this is the best way to use the time God grants us. Charity allows us to adhere with docility and love to the will of God, and thus at the end of life we shall have realized the divine plan for our soul, we shall have reached that degree of love that God expects from each of us and with which we shall love and glorify Him forever.

2 — Increase of charity depends on meritorious acts, that is, on good works performed under the influence of charity. Every good work merits an increase of charity, and this can be granted to the soul immediately, or only at the end of life, according to whether the soul has acted with all the love of which it is capable or, on the contrary, somewhat by force, with tepidity and negligence. In the first case, increase of charity is similar to interest immediately incorporated into capital and therefore bearing fruit with it, in the second case it is similar to that interest which is not added to the capital and therefore does not increase with it, although it remains property of the one who acquired it.

For the merit of our good works—that is, the increase of charity gained by them—to be granted immediately to the soul, it is necessary that such works be performed with all love, that is, with all the good will and generosity of which the soul is capable: then it is as if the soul opens itself to receive the increase of love merited, and this in fact joins at once the capital of charity it possesses, immediately increasing its degree and intensity.

To grow in love we have only the short day of this earthly life, and if we want to draw from it the greatest possible fruit, we must apply ourselves to doing our good works “with all the heart,” overcoming inertia and natural tepidity. Then love will grow beyond measure and the soul will be able, with St. Teresa of the Child Jesus, to say to the Lord: “Your love has grown with me and now has become an abyss whose depths I cannot sound” (St. 10). We ought to hurry while we still have time, because then “night comes, when no one can work” (Jn. 9, 4).

Colloquy

O Lord, considering the new year that has passed and that You granted me to grow in Your love, I cannot help but lament over myself and repeat to You: how little I have loved You, my God! How badly I have used my time!

“How slowly my desires are kindled, while You so early began to draw me and call me, so that I might occupy myself wholly with You! But have You perhaps cast out the miserable? Have You perhaps sent away the poor beggar when he wanted to draw near? Have Your greatnesses and the magnificence of Your works, Lord, a limit? How easy for You it is now to show them in Your servant, my God and my Mercy! You are powerful, O great God. And this is the moment to show whether my soul deceives itself when, thinking of lost time, it affirms that in an instant You can make me recover it. I seem to rave, because, according to what they say, lost time cannot be recovered.

“Blessed be my God! I recognize, Lord, Your sovereign power. You are powerful: yes, You truly are. And then, what is impossible to Him who can do all?

“You know well, my God, that, despite my great miseries, I have never ceased to acknowledge Your sovereign power and mercy. At least in this I have not offended You; and You, Lord, take account of it. Recover for me, O my God, the time I have lost, pouring into me Your grace for the present and for the future, so that I may appear before You with the wedding garment. If You will, You can” (T.G. Es. 4).

For my part, O Lord, I see no better way to recover lost time than to apply myself with all my strength to the exercise of love. Yes, my love will increase if I know how to do for You “with all my heart,” that is, “with all good will,” every duty of mine, every good work. But I am so weak and feeble, so indolent, inclined to flee effort, to avoid or at least diminish sacrifice; my nature always tends to what is easier, less tiring and falls so easily into negligence, listlessness. Help me, Lord, and strengthen my love with Your omnipotent strength. It is so little what I can do for You; may I at least know how to do it with all the love of which You have made me capable.