XXII — THE TRIAL OF HOPE

Presence of God. — Grant me, O Lord, an invincible hope; teach me to hope against all hope, teach me to “super-hope”.

Meditation

1 — We prove the solidity of our faith when we persevere in it despite darkness; we prove the solidity of our hope when we do not cease to hope despite adverse circumstances, by which it sometimes seems to us that God has abandoned us. As the act of faith made amid darkness and doubts is more meritorious, so the act of hope made amid desolation and abandonment is more meritorious. The theological virtues are the most fitting and proportionate means to unite us to God, and in fact we shall be united to Him more the more our faith, our hope, and our charity are pure, intense, and fully supernatural. Precisely to bring us to this, God makes us pass through the crucible of trial. For every soul dear to God, the story of Job is renewed in a certain way: he is tried in goods, in children, in his own person; he is abandoned by friends and by his wife; from rich and esteemed, he finds himself alone on a dunghill, covered from head to foot with a horrible leprosy. But if God is good, if it is true that He loves us, why does He permit all this? Why does He let us suffer? “God did not make death,” says Holy Scripture, “nor does He delight in the destruction of the living.... But the ungodly, with hand and voice, call death” (Wis. 1:13, 16). Death and suffering are consequences of sins, which God does not prevent because He wishes to leave man free. And yet not only sinners suffer, but also the innocent: why? Because God wishes to test them as gold is tested in the furnace; because He wants to purify them; He wants to raise them to a good and a happiness immeasurably superior to the goods and happiness of earth. And so God permits the suffering of the good and uses even the consequences of sin — wars, disorders, social and private injustices — for the greater good of his elect. It remains true, however, that while we are in trial we do not see, we do not understand its reason. God gives no account of his conduct, does not reveal his plans to us, and therefore it is hard for us to stand firm in faith and hope. Hard, but not impossible, because it is certain that God never sends trials beyond our strength, just as it is certain that God never abandons us unless we are first to abandon Him.

2 — The least act of hope, of trust in God, made amid trial, in a state of interior or exterior desolation, is worth immensely more than a thousand acts made in time of joy and prosperity. When you suffer in soul or body, when you experience the emptiness of abandonment and impotence, when you are harassed by repugnances and rebellions of nature that would like to shake off the Lord’s yoke, you cannot expect to have the consoling feeling of hope and trust; indeed, you will often feel the contrary sentiment, and yet, even in this state, you can make acts of hope and trust, not felt but willed. The theological virtues are exercised essentially by the will. When feeling accompanies them, their exercise is sweet and consoling; but when only the pure act of will remains, then this exercise is arid and cold, and yet for that very reason it is not less meritorious; indeed, it can be even more so and gives much glory to God. Therefore you must not be disturbed if you no longer feel trust; instead you must will to have trust, you must will to hope and to hope at any cost, despite all the blows God inflicts on you by means of trial. Then is the time to repeat with Job: “Even if God should kill me, in Him will I hope” (13:15). Do not imagine you can pass through these trials without having to fight discouragement, temptations to distrust, and perhaps even despair: this is the reaction of nature rebelling against what wounds it. The Lord, who knows our weakness, does not condemn us but has compassion on us. This state does not offend God, provided you always try gently to react with acts of willed trust. Every time the wave of discouragement tries to overwhelm you, react by anchoring yourself in God with a simple movement of trust. Even if, in certain periods, your spiritual life had to be reduced to this exercise, you would have lost nothing, but rather gained much. Precisely through these trials one arrives at heroic exercise of faith and hope; and heroic virtue is necessary to attain holiness.

Colloquy

“Save me, O God, for the waters have reached my throat! I am sunk in deep mire, where there is no foothold. I have come into deep waters, and the current overwhelms me. I am weary with crying out, my throat is dry, my eyes are consumed waiting for You, my God. But I make my prayer to You, O Lord, imploring a favorable time. O God, in your great goodness answer me with the constancy of your help. Draw me from the mud lest I sink in it; let me escape from enemies and from the deep waters. Hear me according to your merciful goodness; according to your great clemency turn to me; hide not your face from me. Save me, for You are my hope, O Lord God! You are my security from childhood; in You I have always placed my trust. O God, do not stay far from me, hasten to help me. I suffer, but I will always hope in You and abound ever more in all your praise. You, who have made me experience great anguish and misfortunes, will again restore my life and make me rise from the dark abysses of the earth; You will increase my greatness and continue to console me” (cf. Ps. 68 and 70).

“O Hope, sweet sister of faith, you are that virtue which with the keys of Christ’s Blood opens eternal life to us. You guard the city of the soul from the enemy of confusion; and when the devil, with the gravity of committed faults, wants to throw the soul into despair, you do not slacken your pace but, all manly, persevere in fortitude, placing in the scale the price of Christ’s Blood. You place the crown of victory on perseverance, for it hoped to obtain it by virtue of the Blood” (St. Catherine of Siena).