XI — CHARITY IS NOT SELFISH

Presence of God. — O God, who from eternity have loved me and always love me without any self-interest, teach me to love without calculations and measures.

Meditation

1 — Charity “is not selfish” (1 Cor. 13:5). Being sensitive to others’ needs and sufferings, being always ready to lend help to neighbor, does not justify demanding return. Charity has this as its own: while it gives itself generously to others, it asks nothing for itself. “Do good and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, who is kind even toward the ungrateful and the wicked” (Lk. 6:35). Charity is not giving in order to receive, but giving without calculation or measure, which deems itself supremely repaid by the honor of being able to serve and love God in his creatures. Charity loves, serves, gives itself, spends itself for the delight of loving, of serving God in neighbor, for the joy of imitating his infinite prodigality, the joy of feeling itself a child of the heavenly Father, who benefits all without distinction. What reward greater than that of being called and truly being children of God? To have this one reward, charity seeks to avoid every earthly reward. Therefore it hides the good it does: “let not your left hand know what your right hand does” (Mt. 6:3), and seeks by preference to benefit precisely those from whom it cannot hope any return: “When you give a lunch or dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers... lest they in turn invite you and repayment be made to you. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind; and you will be blessed, because they have no way to repay you” (Lk. 14:12-14). How distant is the Gospel’s logic from the logic of human calculations!

When in a heart there is born the passion to give itself to God, there is born at the same time that of giving itself to neighbor solely for love of God. Then that heart no longer distinguishes whether it is directly service of God or of brethren; seeing God in all, it gives itself to brethren in order to give itself to God, gives itself to neighbor as it would give itself to God. This is the attitude of Paul’s heart, which cries out: “Most gladly I will spend and be utterly spent for your souls; even if, loving you so abundantly, I should be loved less” (2 Cor. 12:15).

2 — “Charity is patient, is kind... is not angered, does not become bitter... does not disdain... does not grow weary” (1 Cor. 13:4-5). Charity does not grow weary, does not lose patience before the ungrateful; it is not irritated before refusals, but perseveres in loving and doing good. Charity does not demand gratitude, is not touchy, does not feel offended by lack of delicacy and regard; but, despite the coldness and hostilities it may meet around itself, it continues in its one occupation: to give itself and always give itself for love of God. And yet charity is not insensitive to ingratitude and offenses. On the contrary, the more delicate a heart is in love, the more sensitive it is to all that is contrary to love; but it does not use its sensitivity as a weapon of defense for its own rights, to protest others’ ingratitude, or to demand some justice. Rather it uses it to make of it a sacrifice to God, precisely for the benefit of those who make it suffer. This is charity’s characteristic: “it is not overcome by evil, but overcomes evil with good” (cf. Rom. 12:21).

Yet we all know how difficult and hard this is for selfish and exacting nature. At times, precisely when a soul applies itself with greater commitment to delicate fraternal charity, there awakens in it a more vivid sense of indignation and protest before the lack of regard of which it is made the object. But this is clearly a temptation that must be stifled at birth so it gains no foothold. Whoever, under pretext of justice or of teaching others, indulges such sentiments and acts accordingly will soon become an exacting person, to the great harm of charity. Especially in common life this long-suffering charity is necessary, one that knows how to pass over small or great wrongs, misunderstandings, and offenses; that knows how to accept in peace pinpricks, without even appearing to suffer them, without taking revenge by making others understand that they cause us pain. With God’s grace, and by force of struggles against the resentments of self-love, we must arrive at this charity completely forgetful of self; and then in our environment of life we shall be “not judges, but angels of peace” (St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus, CR).

Colloquy

“O eternal God, the soul that truly loves You labors for the utility of its neighbor, and it cannot be otherwise, because love of You and love of neighbor are one and the same thing: as much as the soul loves You, so much does it love neighbor, because love toward him comes from You.

“This is the means You have given us, O most high God, so that we may exercise and prove our virtue; since, not being able to be useful to You, we are useful to neighbor. Therefore the soul enamored of You, most lovable Lord, never ceases to labor for the good of all its brethren, striving to look to their needs and to help them promptly.

“O God, eternal Trinity, You ask us to love You with that same love with which You love us. This we cannot do, since You loved us without being loved by us, whereas, however much love we bear You, we shall always love You as debtors and not gratuitously, because You loved us first. So, since we cannot render to You that love You ask, You have given us neighbor, that we may do for him what we cannot do for You, namely love him without being anticipated, gratuitously and without expecting any advantage.

“Teach me then, O Lord, to love neighbor without being loved by him, to love him with no regard to my utility, but only because You love me, only to return your gratuitous love. Thus I shall fulfill the commandment of the law: to love You above all things, and neighbor as myself” (cf. St. Catherine of Siena).