VI — THE EXERCISE OF PATIENCE

Presence of God. — Give me, O Lord, greater patience, so that I may suffer more for love of You.

Meditation

1 — Patience is a virtue of primary and daily necessity. As we need bread to live, so every day — indeed every moment — we need patience, because every day and every moment brings its own burden. One becomes patient by making acts of patience, that is, by accustoming oneself to accept gently all that opposes us and makes us suffer. But if, instead of accepting, we rebel and try with all our power to escape everything that displeases us, we will never acquire patience.

If, for example, because of duty we are in contact with a person who jars us, or burdened with heavy, difficult, and tedious work, and we try to free ourselves from it as quickly as possible by urgently requesting a change, then we deprive ourselves of a precious occasion prepared for us by God Himself to practice virtue. In some cases it is lawful, and may even be obligatory, to lay our difficulties before superiors and humbly ask for a remedy; but we must never insist on obtaining it at all costs. Rather, we should think that divine Providence has disposed this circumstance for us precisely to help us acquire the patience we still lack.

St. Philip Neri, who one day complained to the Lord about having to deal with a very impertinent and troublesome person, heard interiorly this answer: “Philip, you asked Me for patience; here is the means to acquire it.” God will certainly give us the virtues we ask of Him, but He will give them only if, using the means He offers and the help of his grace, we apply ourselves to practicing them.

Whoever truly wants to become holy will never be eager to avoid occasions of exercising patience, but will seek to embrace them willingly to the end, just as they present themselves, because in them he sees the means disposed by God for his sanctification. And how can a little creature dare to want to change what has been disposed “in measure, and number, and weight” (Wis. 11:20) by God’s infinite wisdom?

2 — God knows how to draw good from evil; therefore He can make use — and in fact does make use — even of our own defects and sins and those of others to make us exercise patience. Patience with ourselves, seeing ourselves so fragile and imperfect, so easy to fall, humbly acknowledging our faults and peacefully bearing their consequences; patience with others, compassionating each one’s weakness and accepting without irritation the discomforts and sufferings that may come to us from others’ defects.

When, for example, someone disturbs us or provokes us, we must not stop to consider his way of acting, because this easily moves us to indignation and makes patience harder. Instead, we must turn our gaze away from the creature and fix it on God, who permits that contradiction in order to make us progress in virtue. We must also avoid complaining to others about what we suffer, and not complain inwardly to ourselves either; complaints always embitter the heart and dispose it poorly to accept suffering in peace. “To suffer and be silent for You, my God” (St. Therese) is the motto of the patient soul that wants to conform to Jesus in his Passion: “He was offered ... and did not open his mouth” (Is. 53:7).

If we need some help to bear a trial, let us speak only with those who can encourage us to suffer for love of God, not with those who, consoling and sympathizing in an overly human way, might feed resentment in us toward those who make us suffer.

The saints were all eager for those occasions of suffering from which we flee so diligently. Let us think of St. Frances de Chantal who for many years submitted to living in her father-in-law’s house in contact with a servant who disrespected her, slandered her, and even harmed her children’s interests. Let us think of St. John of the Cross who, having freedom to choose the convent where he would spend his final years, preferred the one whose superior was opposed to him. Heroisms of saints, yes — but heroisms from which God excludes no soul of good will; rather, He invites every soul to them. Heroisms for which we too, if we truly want to be generous, must prepare ourselves through loving acceptance of all that makes us suffer.

Colloquy

“O Lord, we would like to serve You, yes, and to give You pleasure — but without suffering anything! Yet we are much more grateful to You when in your service we suffer something in imitation of You and for love of You.

“The exercise of suffering is so precious and noble that You, O Word, dwelling in the bosom of the Eternal Father and overflowing with all the riches and delights of Paradise, came down to earth in order to possess this robe of suffering. You are God and cannot be mistaken. Therefore, as You chose naked suffering, so I too want to choose it for love of You. What I ask of You now, Lord, is to grant me to experience a naked suffering not mixed with any consolation.

“With confidence in your goodness, I hope You will grant me this grace before I die.

“But to profit from tribulations, one must accept all with complete abandonment to your will. Then even in sadness the soul finds comfort; and if for some time You leave it in darkness, soon that sadness will be changed into joy, so that for no sweetness in the world would it ever wish not to have suffered.

“O blessed, happy, and glorious the one who suffers for You, O Word! I dare to say it: so long as we are pilgrims, suffering for You is in a certain way greater than possessing You; for possessing You here we can still lose You, but if we suffer for love of You, You will admit us to eternal life where we can lose You no more” (St. Mary Magdalene de’ Pazzi, adapted).