Chapter 10: The indulgence which our Lord granted to St. Gertrude— Her ardent desire to be conformed in all things to the will of God

As the Saint learned that an indulgence of many years was published on condition of the usual offerings, she said, with her whole heart : " Lord, if I were rich I would willingly give a large sum of gold and silver, that by this means I might be absolved by these indulgences for the praise and glory of Thy Name." To this the Lord replied lovingly, saying : " I grant you, by My authority, a full remission of all your sins and negligences ; " and at the same moment she saw her soul without spot, and as white as snow.

But some time after, entering into herself and finding her soul still adorned with the same purity, she feared what she had seen before had been an illusion, as it seemed impossible that it had not been in some degree tarnished by the negligences and faults into which her weakness caused

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her to f;ill HO often. liut the Ln I her ;«m1.' by Uiene wordn : " I>o:it thou think that I ponaesi lew |/ than I have be1. to wed on My 0rMtur6f1 If I h to tin-, n, ii virtu:, that if a dtoolotUttd men . format ••', and even become brighter than before, how much more can J, who am the Creator of the nun, by directing My looku upon a .'.inner, /':inovc all hin Htain:;, j>ui,: him, hy tin; fin: of My low, from ",v< .ry :-j>ot '<"

On another oc'-.;j.:-.ion H!H; wa:< HO »Ji x;oura^;d l>y her mi worth inean a/id weakne:,;;, tJjat nhe .••.eernco1 to liave rifj power to prai;-;e (joo1, nor to tante tlje HWcetne-.H of contem plation. liut the J.onJ, oy a pure efl'eet of Hi- mr-.rcy, W) reMtored h'-r <;our.v/e; },y communicalin^ to h< i the moHt Jioly convcfHation of J' u:, (Jnjj.t,, that all }jer <{•-. .ire.'i \ver« h;i.ti:ifir;rl, and ;,he Deemed to he pre:-ented to the Kiu;^ of km"-:, h»:r Spoune, witlj tlje :-,;..me beauty an KHther wa« pi' • .ented to A .\n-.i u . AH nhe appealed : o adorned, the .Saviour, in loving r;onde'.een:-.ion, addre;;He,d IjerthuK: "What do:.t, Uiou d«.:,ire, O<jueen?J> " I heneeeh and iniplon; Th«j'r, O Lord," hhe re-plied, " with all my heart, that Thy ador able and I)ivine will may be accompimhed in me, aecordin;/ to Thy f/ood pleaaure." Our Lord then named different pcrHoriH wlio had recommended theni'.'-l ve:', to her prayerH, ;md asked what H!I« fle:-jred for each individually. " Lord," she replied, " J only ask that Thy mo:.t j.ea.eeful will may be perfectly uocomplihhed in them." Our Lord inrjuired further: "And what do you deHire that I Khould do for you '< " "I have no other joy," nhe annwered, "than to denire that Thy amiable and peaceful will may alway accomplished in me, and in all creatures; and I am ready, for thin end, t,o offer every member of my body to be ex po., ed, one after the other, to the acutent buffering." God, i • • I RJOfl -rui. 01 ' ' ' »:on. Ml)

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as He should be praised for all His gifts, the words, " 1 sought Him, and I found Him not," are added.

By these words, " The watchman found me," she under stood the justice and mercy of God, which cause the soul to enter into herself, and then to compare her unworthiness with the benefits which she has received from God ; so that she begins by her grief and repentance for her faults to seek His mercy, saying : " Have you seen Him whom my soul loveth ? " And thus, as she has no faith in her own merits, she turns with humble confidence to the Divine mercy, and by the fervour of her prayers, and the inspiration of grace, she at last finds Him whom the faith ful soul seeks.

This Antiphon being concluded, she felt her heart deeply moved by all the sweetness with which the Divine mercy had filled it during this time, and with many other graces which it would be impossible to describe, so that even her bodily strength failed her. Then she said to God : " It seems to me that I can truly say to Thee now, ' Behold ! my beloved Lord ! not only my inmost soul, but every part of my body is moved towards Thee ! ' " — " I know and feel it perfectly," replied our Lord, " because these graces have flowed from Me and returned to Me. But as for you, who are held captive in the chains of mortality, you can never understand all the reciprocal sweetness which My Divinity feels towards you." He added : " Know, however, that this movement of grace glorifies you, as My Body was glorified on Mount Thabor in presence of My three beloved dis ciples ; so that I can say of you, in the sweetness of my charity : ' This is My beloved daughter, in whom I am well pleased.' For it is the property of this grace to com municate to the body as well as to the mind a marvellous glory and brightness."