Chapter 34: For the Feast of St. John before the Latin Gate

Of the sweet memory of St. John— How imperfections of which we forget to accuse ourselves in confession are pardoned by God.

ON the Feast * of St. John ante Portam Latinam, he ap peared to Gertrude ; and after having caressed and consoled her in a wonderful manner, he said to her : " Do not be troubled, 0 elect spouse of My Lord, at the failure of your bodily strength ; for what you suffer in this world is but little, and will last only for a moment, in comparison with the eternal delights which we now enjoy in heaven, and which you will soon possess with us when you enter therein ; for it is the nuptial couch of your Spouse, whom you love so ardently, whom you desire with such fervour, and whom you will at last possess as you desire." Then he added : " Remember that I, who was the beloved dis ciple of the Lord, was still more infirm in body than you are ; * and nevertheless I am now, as you see, the delight and devotion of the faithful ; so you also, after your death, will live in the hearts of many, and will draw many souls to God." Then she said complainingly to St. John, that she feared she had placed an obstacle to this, because she had forgotten to confess some little faults ; and when she remembered them, she could not have recourse to her con fessor ; and that she could not always remember them when she went to confession, on account of her extreme debility. '•' Do not be troubled at this, my child," replied the Saint lovingly; "for when you have prepared for a good and entire confession of your sins, and find that you cannot then have recourse to a confessor, if you forget anything in consequence of the delay, and omit to accuse yourself of it merely from a defect of memory, what you have forgotten will not fail to be effaced ; and the grief you have for the omission will adorn your soul as a precious jewel, which will render it pleasing to the heavenly court." While Mass was being said, the Saint was occupied in reflecting on some writings which she had received from God by a special favour ; and as she heard the words, Verbum Dei Deo natum, at the Sequence, she recollected herself, that she might attend more devoutly to what was chanted in honour of St. John. But the Saint appeared at her side, and told her not tc turn her mind from her first thoughts ; obtaining for her from God, in a marvel lous manner, the favour of being able to think of these writings and still to understand what was chanted in choir. At the words, Audit in gyro sedis, she said to St. John : " Oh, what joy must have filled thy soul when thou wert elevated so high ! " He replied : " You speak truly ; but know that I have a yet greater joy in the praises which you offer to God for me." He then remained seated near her until the words, Iste custos Virginis, when he took her up to the throne of God's glory, where, amid the most ineffable brightness, he was admired and praised by the •whole celestial court, feeling the ineffable delights of the words, Cceli qui palatium.