The.x. Chapter. Of • latterye

ANd into thys pleasaunte frenesye of much foolyshe vayne glorye, be there some men broughte sometyme by suche as thē selues doe in in a manet hyre to f[…]tter thē, and woulde not be contente if a man sho[…]lde dooe otherwyse, but would be […]yghte angrye, not onelye if a man tolde them truth when they doe […]ought in dede, but also if they praise it but slenderly.

Vincent. Forsooth Uncle thys is very trueth, I haue been ere thys and not very long agoe where I sawe so proper experience of thys poynt, that I muste stop your tale for so longe whyle I tell you myne.

☞Anthony. I praye you Cosin tell on.

Vincent. When I was fyrste in Almayne Uncle, it happed me to be somewhat fauoured wyth a great man of the Churche, and a greate state, one of the greatest in al that countrey there, and in dede whosoeuer might spende as much as he might in one thing and other, were a right greate state in anye countrey of christendome. But gloryous was he verye farre aboue al measure, and that was great peitye, for it dyd harme, and made him abuse many great gyftes that god had geuē him, neuer was he sac[…]a[…]e of hearing his owne praise. So happed it one daye, that he hadde in a greate audience, made an Oracion in a certaine maner, wherein he liked him self so wel, that at his dinner he satte hym thought on thornes, tyll he myght heare howe they that satte wyth hym at hys boarde woulde commende it: and when he had sytte musing a whyle, deuising (as I thought after) on some prettye proper waye, to bring it in wythal: At laste, for lacke of a better (lest he shoulde haue letted the matter to longe) he broughte it euen bloontly forthe, & asked vs al that satte at his bordes ende (for at his owne messe in the myddest, there satte but him selfe alone) howe wel we lyked hys Oracion yt he made that daye. But in fayth Uncle, when that probleme was once proponed, till it was ful answered, no man I wene eate one morsel of meate more, euerye man was fallen in so depe […] studdy, for the fynding of some exquisite prayse. For he that shoulde haue broughte out but a vulgare, and a commen commendacion, woulde haue thought hym selfe, shamed for euer.

Than sayde we ou[…] sentences by […] as we satte. from the lowest vnto the highest in good order, as it had beene a great matter of the cōmē wayle in a right solemne counsayle, when it came to my parte (I will not safe it for no boste Uncle) me thought by our lady for my parte I quitte my selfe very wel. And I liked my selfe the better because me thought my wordes (being but a straunger) went yet wt some grace in the Almayne tonge, wherein letting my latine alone, me lusted to shewe my cunning, and I hoped to be liked ye better because I sawe yt he yt satte next me & should say his sētence after me, was an vnlearned priest, for he could speake no latine at al: but whē he came forth for hys parte, wyth my Lordes commendacion, the wylye Foxe hadde beene so well accustomed in the courte, wyth the crafte of flatterye, that he wente beyonde me to to farre. And than myght I see by him, what excellencie a ryghte meane wytte maye come to in one crafte, that in al hys whole lyfe studieth and busieth hys witte aboute no moe, but that one. But I made after a solemne vowe to my selfe, yt if euer he and I were matched together at that borde againe, when we should fall to our flattery. I woulde flatter in latine, that he shoulde not contende […]yth me no more. For thoughe I could be contente, to be oute runne of a horse, yet woulde I no more abyde it to be out[…]unne of an Asse. But Uncle, here beganne nowe the game: he that sate highest and was to speake laste, was a greate benyf[…]zed man and not a doctor onelye, but also somewhat learned in dede in the lawes of the Churche, a worlde it was to see howe he ma[…]ked euerye mannes worde, that spake before hym, and it semed that euerye worde, the more proper that it was, the worse he liked it, for the com[…]raunce that he had to studye out a better to passe it. The man euyn sweatte with the laboure, so that he was fayne in the whyle nowe and than, to wype hys face: howbeit in conclusion, when it came to hys course, we that had spoken before hym had so taken all vp among vs before, that we had not lefte hym one wyse woorde to speake.

Antony. Alas good manne, among so many of you some good felowe shoulde haue lente hym one.

Vincent. It neded not as happe was vncle. For he found out such a shift, that in his slattering, he passed vs all the mayny.

Antony. Why, what sayd he Cosin?

Vincent. By oure ladye vncle, not one woorde. But lyke as I trowe. Plinius telleth, that whan Appelles the painter (in the table that he painted of the sacrifice, and the death of Iphigenia) had (in the makyng of the sorowefull countenaunces of the noble menne of Grece that beheld it) spente oute so muche of hys craft and hys connyng, that when he came to make the countenaunce of kyng Agamemnon, her father whiche ye reserued for the laste, leste if he hadde made his visage before, he muste in some of the other after, eyther haue made the visage lesse dolorous than he could, and thereby haue forborne some parte of his praise, or doyng the vttermoste of hys crafte, myghte haue happed to make some other looke more heauely, for the pitie of her paine, than her owne father, which had bene yet a farre greater faulte in hys payntyng, when he came I saye to the makyng of hys face therfore laste of all, he coulde deuyse no maner of newe heauye cheare and countenaunce for her father, but that he had made there alreadye in some of the other, muche more heauye before, and therefore to thentent that no manne shoulde see what maner countenaunce it was that her father had, the paynter was fayne to paint him, holding hys face in hys hande kercher, the like pagiaunt in a maner plaied vs there this good auncient honorable flatterer: for when he sawe that he coulde finde no woorde of prayse that woulde passe all that had been spoken beefore alreadye, the wylye foxe woulde speake neuer a woorde, but as he were rauished vnto heauen warde, with the wonder of the wysdome and eloquence that my Lordes grace had vttered in that Oracion, he fette a long sighe with an Oh from ye bottome of hys breste, & helde vp both hys handes, and lyfted vp hys head, and cast both hys yien vp into the welkin and wepte.

Anthony. Forsoth Cosin he played hys parte very properlye, but was that great prelates Oracyon any thyng prayse worthy? for you can tell I see well, for you would not I wene playe as Iuuenal merely describeth the blynde Senatoure one of the flatterers of Tyberyus themperoure, that among the remnaunte […]o magnified the greate fyshe that themperoure hadde sente for them to shewe them, whiche thys blinde Senatoure, Montanus I trowe they called hym, marueled of as muche as any that marueled moste: and many thynges he spake thereof, with some of hys woordes directed thereunto, lookyng hymself toward the lyfte syde, whyle the fyshe laye on hys ryghte syde, you woulde not I trowe Cosin haue taken vpon you to prayse it so, but if you had heard it.

☞Vincent. I heard it vncle in dede, and to say the trouth it was not to dispraise: howbeit surelye somewhat lesse prayse might haue serued it, by more a great deale than the half: but thys am I sure, had it been the worst that euer was made, the prayse had not been the lesse of one here. For they that vsed to prayse hym to hys face, neuer considered, howe muche the thing deserued, but how great a laude and prayse themselfe could geue his good grace.

Anthony. Surely Cosin as Terence sayeth, suche folkes make men of fooles euen starke mad, and much cause haue theyr lordes to be righte angry with them.

☞Vincent. God hath in dede, and is I wene, but as for their lordes vncle, if they would after waxe angrye with them therfore, they should in my mynde doe them very greate wrong, when it is one of the thynges that they specially kepe them for. For those that are of suche vaynglorious mynd (be they lordes or be they meaner men) can be much better content to haue their deuises commended then amended: and requier they their seruaunt and their frende neuer so specially to tell them the very trueth, yet shall he better please them if he speake them fayre, then if he tell them trueth. For they be in the case yt Martial is speaketh of, in an Epigrame vnto a frende of his that requireth his iudgemēt, how he liked his vea[…]sis, but he praied him in any wise to tel him euen the verye trueth: to whō Marcial made aunswere in this wise. The very trueth of me thou dost require, ye verye trueth is this my frende dere, yt the very trueth thou wouldest not gladly heare: & in good fayth vncle ye self same prelate yt I told you my […]ale of[…] I dare be bolde to sweare it, (I know it so surely) had on a time made of hys owne drawyng, a certayne treatise, that shoulde serue for a leage betwene the countreye and a great Prince. In which treatise, himself thought that he had deuysed his articles so wysely, and indicted thē so wel, that al the world would allow them: wherupon longing sore to be praised, he called vnto him a frende of his, a man well learned, and of good woorship, and very well expert in those matters, as he that had been diuerse tymes embassadour for that countrey, and had made manye suche treatises hymselfe. When he toke him the treatise, and that he had read it, he asked hym howe he lyked it and sayd: But I pray you tell me the verye trouth, and that he spake so heartely, that the tother had went he would fayne haue heard the t[…]outh, and in trust therof he tolde him a fault therein. At the hearyng whereof, he sware in greate angre. By the masse thou art a very foole. The other afterward tolde me that he would neuer tell him trueth agayne.

Anthony. Without question Cosyn, I cannot greatly blame him, and thus themselfe make euerye manne mocke them, flatter thē & deceiue them. Those I say, that are of suche vayneglorious mind: For if they bee content to heare the trueth, let them than make muche of those that tell them trueth, and withdrawe theyr eare from them that falsely flatter them, and they shal be more truelye serued than with.xx. requestes praying men to tell them trueth. Kyng Ladislaus, our lord assoyle his soule, vsed muche thys maner among his seruauntes, when any of them praysed any dede of his, or any condicion in him, if he perceiued that they sayde but trueth he woulde let it passe by vncontrolled. But when he sawe that they sette to a glose vpon it for hys prayse of their owne makyng besyde, then woulde he shortlye saye vnto them: I praye thee good fellowe, when thou sayest grace at my borde, neuer brynge in, Gloria patri, without a Sicut erat. Euery acte that euer I dyd, if thou reporte it agayne to mine honor with a Gloria patri. Neuer reporte it but with a Sicut era[…], that is to wete, euen as it was[…] and none other wyse: & lyfte me not vp with no lyes, for I loue it not. If men would vse this waie with them, that this noble king vsed, it woulde minishe muche of theyr false flatery. I can well alowe that mē shoulde commend (keping them within the bondes of truth) such thinges as they see prayse worthy in other men to geue them the greater courage to thencrease ther[…]f, for men kepe styll in that poynte one condicion of chyldren, that prayse mus[…]e prycke them forthe, but better it were to doe well, and looke for none.

Howbeit, they that can not finde in theyr hearte to cō mende an other mannes good dede, shewe them selfe eyther enuious, or els of nature very colde & dull. But out of questiō, he that putteth his pleasure in the prayse of the peo[…]le, hath but a fond fantasy. For if his fynger doe but ake of an hote blayne[…] a great mayny of mens mouthes blo[…]ing out his prayse, wil scantly doe hym among them al[…] halfe so much […]ase, as to haue one litle boy[…] to blowe vpon his fynger.