Letter XIII. To a Young Lady

The gift of prayer comes from heaven, and we must prepare ourselves for it with care; by it we put ourselves in the presence of God. How a young person should behave when her parents oppose her desire of becoming a religious.

Mademoiselle, — Some time ago I received one of your letters, which I much value, because it testifies to the confidence you have in my love, which indeed is really yours, doubt not. I only regret that I am very little capable of answering what you ask me concerning your troubles in prayer. I know that you are where you cannot lack anything in this kind; but charity, which loves to communicate itself, makes you ask mine in giving me yours. I will therefore say something to you.

The disquietude you have in prayer, which is joined with a very eager anxiety to find some object which may content your spirit, is enough, of itself, to hinder you from getting what you seek. We pass our hand and our eyes a hundred times over a thing, without noticing it at all, when we seek it with too much excitement.

From this vain and useless eagerness you can only incur lassitude of spirit; and hence this coldness and numbness of your soul. I know not the remedies you should use, but I feel sure that if you can prevent this eagerness you will gain much; for it is one of the greatest traitors which devotion and true virtue can meet with. It pretends to excite us to good, but it is only to make us tepid, and only makes us run in order to make us stumble. This is why we must always beware of it, and specially in prayer.

And to aid yourself in this, remember that the graces and goods of prayer are not waters of earth but of heaven, and that thus all our efforts cannot obtain them. Of course, we must dispose ourselves for them with a great care, but a humble and quiet care. We must keep our hearts open to heaven, and await the holy dew. And never forget to carry to prayer this consideration, that in it we approach God, and put ourselves in his presence for two principal reasons.

1. To give God the honour and homage we owe him; and this can be done without his speaking to us or we to him: for this duty is paid by remembering that he is our God, and we his vile creatures, and by remaining prostrate in spirit before him, awaiting his commands.

How many courtiers go a hundred times into the presence of the king, not to hear him or speak to him, but simply to be seen by him, and to testify by this assiduity that they are his servants? And this end in prostrating ourselves before God, only to testify and protest our will and gratitude is very excellent, holy, and pure, and therefore of the greatest perfection.

2. To speak with him, and hear him speak to us by his inspirations and interior movements, and generally this is with a very delicious pleasure, because it is a great good for us to speak to so great a Lord; and when he answers he spreads abroad a thousand precious balms and unguents, which give great sweetness to the soul.

Well, my daughter, as you wish me to speak thus, one of these two goods can never fail you in prayer. If we can speak to our Lord, let us speak, let us praise him, beseech him, listen to him; if we cannot use our voice, still let us stay in the room and do reverence to him; he will see us there, he will accept our patience, and will favour our silence; another time we shall be quite amazed to be taken by the hand and he will converse with us, and will make a hundred turns with us in the walks of his garden of prayer. And if he should never do this, let us be content with our duty of being in his suite, and with the great grace and too great honour he does us in suffering our presence.

Thus we shall not be over-eager to speak to him, since it is not less useful for us to be with him; yea, it is more useful though not so much to our taste. When, then, you come to him, speak to him if you can; if you cannot, stay there; be seen, and care for nothing else. Such is my advice, I do not know if it is good, but I am not too much concerned about it, because, as I have said, you are where much better advice cannot fail you.

As to your fear that your father may make you lose your desire to be a Carmelite, by the long time he fixes, say to God: Lord, all my desire is before you* and let him act; he will turn your father's heart and arrange for his own glory and your good. Meanwhile nourish your good desire, and keep it alive under the ashes of humility and resignation to the will of God.

My prayers which you ask, are not wanting to you; for I could not forget you, especially at Holy Mass; I trust to your charity not to be forgotten in yours.