Letter 143. To a Young Lady

ON THE RIGHT USE OF HIGH ASPIRATIONS. Mademoiselle,

My brother brought me your letter, and I thank God that He has given some light to your mind; you must not be surprised if you do not yet see altogether clearly. Spiritual maladies, like those of the body, are generally followed by some relapse, which are not unprofitable, especially inasmuch as they remind us of the past, and make us watchful not to fall again through over great freedom and laxity, before our strength is re-established.

And now that you have nearly escaped from all the terrible trials through which you have been led, I think, my dear child, that you should rest awhile, and pause to reflect upon the vanity of our earthly mind, and see how prone it is to get itself entangled and distorted. I am sure that you see plainly how the interior troubles which have beset you were caused by a multitude of over-eager thoughts and aspirations after an imaginary perfection. I mean that your imagination formed an ideal of absolute perfection to which your will aspired; but overwhelmed by its great difficulty, or more truly, its impossible nature, the will remained paralysed. Then it overflowed in useless wishes, which were like useless drones, devouring the honey, while your really good desires were neglected and starved.

Now then, take breath and reflect; look back upon the dangers from which you have escaped, and so turn aside from such as may be before you. Be suspicious of all such aspirations as are generally acknowledged to be unpractical, all visions of a Christian perfection so ideal that it cannot be exercised, a perfection altogether theoretical, never reduced to practice.

Remember that no grace so tends to perfection as that of patience, and we need it, not only with others, but with ourselves. Those who aim at a pure Love of God require more patience with themselves than with other people. If we would attain perfection, we must bear with our imperfection; that is, bear with it patiently, not cherish or encourage it. True humility is fostered by such endurance.

We must honestly confess that we are poor creatures, who can do but little that is good, but God, Who is Infinitely Good, looks favourably on our poor attempts, and accepts the preparation of our hearts.

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Now what is this preparation of heart? According to Holy Scripture, “ God is Greater than our heart,” and our heart is greater than the world. When it goes apart, and makes ready to serve God, by serving our neighbour, by self-mortification, and similar good works, it “prepares” itself for a high degree of perfection. But all this preparation bears no proportion to God’s Goodness, which is infinitely “greater than our heart,” although it is beyond the measure of the world and of our ordinary strength. A mind which has pondered upon God’s Greatness, His Infinite Power and Goodness, cannot but strive to make great preparation for Him. It prepares a body, mortified without rebellion; diligence in prayer, without distraction; gentleness in ordinary life, free from any bitterness; humility, free from all outbreaks of vanity. All this is good; it is an admirable preparation. Not but what it falls short of a fitting service rendered to God, but, even so, the question is who really renders such a service? When we come to practise we stop short, and find that we cannot carry out our theories of perfection. We can mortify the flesh, but not to the absolute exclusion of all rebellious passions j we shall often still be liable to distractions, and so must we then be troubled, restless, disappointed, despairing? Certainly not Must we entertain a host of desires? No 1 Our gratitude may be very simply expressed. We may wish that we had the Seraphim’s fervour, therewith fitly to serve and worship God; but we must not waste time in mere longings, as though in this world we could attain real perfection, and then grow irritable because we do not succeed.

Not but what we must aim at perfection, while we. must not expect to attain it in this mortal life, or we shall torment ourselves unprofitably. Those who would tread safely must set themselves stedfastly to travel along the road which is appointed for them, nor must they fix their minds on the end of the journey, in such wise as to make them neglect to make a good beginning.

One word which I would have you remember; sometimes we amuse ourselves in playing at being good Angels, till we forget to be good men and women. Our imperfection must cleave to us till we rest in our grave; we cannot walk without touching the ground. We must not lie down or grovel upon it, but neither must we fancy that we can fly; we are yet but as unfledged birds. Physical death comes nearer day by day, and even so we must strive to destroy our imperfection day by day; ‘‘ I die daily.” It will be a precious imperfection if it makes us acknowledge our weakness, and strengthens our humility, our self-depreciation, our patience, and diligence.

Through it all God looks upon “the preparation of the heart.”

I do not know whether what I write will fit in with your needs, but it came into my heart to say all this because I think part of your late trouble has arisen from your making a great preparation, and then, finding the results very small, and your power insufficient to carry out your aspirations and plans, you have been seized by impatience, perturbation, restlessness, irritability; the result of which is mistrust, languor, depression, and disgust. Now if this is true, be wiser in future. Let us be content to travel by land if the sea turns us sick. Keep with Mary Magdalene, close to our Saviour's Feet; be content with lowly virtues, suitable to your own insignificance. “ Little things for little folks.” * I mean such graces as are easier to exercise while going down than while mounting up; they suit our weak limbs better; patience, forbearance, dutifulness, humility, meekness, affability, toleration of our own imperfections, and the like. I do not say but what we must try to rise up in prayer, but slowly and by degrees.

Study to attain a holy simplicity; look straight before you, and do not dwell upon all those dangers which you tell me you foresee. You take them for armies, and they are but willow trees, but all the same * “ A petit mercier, petit panie& ’*

SPIRITUAL LE77ERS OF you may easily stumble while you are gazing upon them. Keep ever before you a firm intention of serving God always and with your whole heart, and then take no thought for the morrow; ” only strive to do your very best to-day. When “to-morrow” arrives, it will have become “ to-day,” and then it will be time enough to take thought for it In all such matters we must have absolute trust and confidence in God, — we must gather our provision of manna for the day that is passing, no more; — ^never doubting but that God will send it again to-morrow, and the next day, and as long as we need it

[805.1 CXLVIII.