Letter 19. To Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, Lima, Toledo, January 17, 1570

Congratulations o?i his p}-ojecf of returning to Spain to educate his children. State of the Reform. Advantages of Avila for his children's education. Thanks for money. Family neivs. Condolence on the death of his 'wife.

I HAVE written to vou by four difFerent messengers, and in three of the letters I included one for Señor Jerome de Cepeda, As it is impossible that they should all have failed to reach you, I will not answer vour questions now. As tor the good resolution with which our Lord has inspired vou, I will only sav that I have thanked Him for it and that it seems to me verv prudent. The motives vou state for it show me, more or less, what other reasons mav have influenced vou, and I trust our Lord that thev will render Him glorv. All our communities are offering special and constant praver that, since vou intend to serve our Lord, His Majestv mav guide vou aright and may diredt matters as is best for the children's souls.

I have alreadv told vou that we have six houses of nuns and two of friars, all of our Order and discalced. The friars lead lives of great perfeólion and the nuns are so like those of St. Joseph's that they seem but one community. It is encouraging to see with what sincerity and purity of soul they glorify our Lord.

At present I am at Toledo. It will be a year since I came on the eve of Lady-day next March. During this time I visited a town belonging to Ruy Gomez, Prince of Eboli, where a house was founded for friars and another for nuns, both of which are doing well. I returned here to set this house in order; it seems likely to become an important one. My health has been much better, for the climate of Toledo is so fine that I sometimes feel tempted to wish that you would settle here, but for the difficulty of educating the children. However, in the neighbourhood of Avila you could find a pleasant place to winter in as others do. I think that if God brings my brother Jerome de Cepeda back to Spain, it would be better for his health to live here. But all will be as God chooses. I do not think I have felt so well for the last forty years, although I keep the Rule like the rest and never eat meat without real necessity.

A year ago I had ague, which left me in better health. I was then making a foundation at Valladolid where the Señora Doña Maria de Mendoza, widow of Cobos, the secretary of state, half killed me with kindness as she is very fond of me. So when God sees that our welfare needs good health, He sends it to us — otherwise, sickness. May He be blessed for all things! I am grieved to hear that you have been suffering with your eyes: it is a trying complaint. Thank God they are so much better !

Juan de Ovalle has already told you that he left Toledo for Seville. A friend of mine managed the matter so well that he was able to get the bar of silver the very day he arrived. He brought it here and will receive payment for it at the end of this month, January. The account of the duties to be paid, drawn out in my presence, is enclosed in this letter, for 1 took no small part in the contrad: as I understand such things. 1 have become such a bargainer and business woman, from having to do with these houses and the Order, that I know how to deal with such matters, and I look upon your aifairs as one with theirs and am glad to manage them. Before I forget it, I must tell you that Cueto's son has died since I wrote to you; he was very young. Nothing can be depended upon in this life; it is a comfort to me that you realize it so well.

As soon as my work is finished here I wish to return to Avila, where I am still Prioress, lest the Bishop should be annoyed, for I and the whole Order are deeply indebted to him. I do not know what the Master will do with me; perhaps I may go to Salamanca where a house is to be given to me. These convents do so much good wherever they are that my conscience urges me to found as many as possible although it is extremely tiring work. May God so bless my labours as to make me courageous!

I torgot to mention in my former letters what good opportunities Avila offers for your boys' education. The Jesuits have a college there in which

they teach grammar and confess the pupils every week; their scholars become such good Christians that we ought to thank God for it. Philosophy is also taught by the Jesuits, and later on, theology may be read at St. Thomas', so there is no need to go outside Avila for virtue or learning. The whole city is so religious that strangers declare they are edified by the amount of prayer and confessions and by the very perfed: lives led by seculars, among whom is Francisco de Salcedo.

You have done me a great kindness by making so generous a gift to Cepeda. That Saint — for I do not think the title is more than his due — never wearies of expressing his gratitude. Old Pedro de el Peso died a year ago; he had run a good course. Anna de Cepeda was very glad of your help, which will make a rich woman of her as other people aid her because she is such a good soul. There are many places in which she might live but for her peculiar character which unsuits her for society. God leads her by that way, and I have never dared to admit her into any of our convents. Not that she lacks goodness, but I see that her present mode of life suits her best; she would not stay with Doña Maria or with any one else, for it would not be to her taste. She seems a kind of hermit, is as good as she always was, and performs austere penances.

The son of my sister Doña Maria and Don Martin de Guzman is professed, and is making great progress in sanctity. As I said. Doña Beatriz and her daughter are dead; Doña Magdalena, the younger daughter, is at a convent boarding-school. I very much wish that God would send her a religious vocation; she is extremely pretty. I have not seen her for many years. They talk of marrying her to a widower, a proprietor:' 1 do not know how the matter will end.

I wrote telling you how opportunely your present to my sister arrived. I have been surprised at the way in which God tries her by poverty, which she has borne so well that He now wills to grant her some relief. As for myself, I want nothing and have more than I need, so that if you send me any alms I shall share them with her and spend the rest on good works for your benefit. Your gift came very seasonably on account of some scruples of mine. While making foundations there are times when, careful as I am, I might perhaps give rather smaller presents to the learned theologians I consult, for 1 always choose such persons when my soul is concerned. These expenses, always conneófed with our houses, are trities no doubt; still I was very glad of your present as I no longer need help from any one. Not that my friends would have refused it, but I like to be independent with these gentlemen, so that I can speak my mind to them. The world is so mercenary that it gives me a horror of money, therefore I shall keep none of it, but after having given part to the Order, I shall be free to dispose of the rest in the way I mentioned, because I have authority from the General and the Provincial to receive or change nuns, and to help one house with the property of another.

I do not know why, but people are blind enough to place credit in me to such an extent that they sometimes entrust me with as much as one or two thousand ducats, so, now that I abhor money, God wills that I should be occupied with nothing else, which is no light cross. God grant I may serve Him well with it, for everything will pass away!

It will indeed be a comfort to have you here. I have so little earthly comfort that perhaps God means to grant me this, and will bring us together to work for His honour and glory and to help souls. It is grievous to see so many lost, and those Indians cost me dear.'° May God give them light! The miseries of human nature abound here as well as there. I travel to many places and talk to many people, yet often I can only say we are worse than the beasts, for we do not understand our soul's high dignity, but drag it down to the low level of worldly things. God give us light!

You can discuss matters with Fray Garcia de Toledo, the Viceroy's nephew," whom I miss very

'"Alonso Maldonado, Commissary-General of the Franciscans in the West Indies, preached so touching a sermon to the nuns at Avila on the millions of souls perishing among the Indians for want of instruction, and begged the community so earnestly to do penance for them, that St. Teresa was overcome with grief and a desire to help them. When, a few months later, Rubeo told her to make as many foundations as possible, she looked upon this order as an answer to her longings. (See Found, i, 6, 7; ii, 3.)

"Don Francisco de Toledo, second son of the count of Oropesa, was Viceroy of Peru from 1569 to 1581.

much as regards my personal affairs. Yoli must know, should you require anything from the Viceroy, that he is an excellent Christian ; it is most fortunate that he was willing to go out. I enclosed a letter for him in each parcel, also some relics for you to wear on the journey : I verv much wish they had reached you safely.

I did not exped: that my letter would be so long. I want vou to realise what a mercv God has shown vou in granting such a death to Doña Juana." We have prayed for her here, and had dirges said for her soul in all our houses, and I trust His Majesty that she no longer requires prayers. You should strive to mitigate your grief, for to mourn so deeply for those who, freed from earthlv miseries, have passed to the true life, befits persons who forget that there is a life which is eternal. Remember me aifed:ionately to my brother, Señor Jerome de Cepeda: ask him to consider this letter as addressed to him. I am very glad he is settling his affairs so as to be able to return to Spain in a few years. If possible, I should prefer that he did not leave his children behind, so that we might be together here and prepare one another to be together for all eternity.

To-dav is January 17, 1570. Your unworthy servant,

Teresa de Jesus, Carmelite.

Many of the Masses are already said and the rest will be. I have received a nun without a dowry (and I wished to give her even her bed) as

'"■ Don Lorenzo's wife. It is stated by a witness for the canonisation that the Saint visited America in spirit, saw Don Lorenzo and his wife and heard them tallting together.

an offering to God' that He may bring you safely to me with your children, to whom I send my love. I took another nun in the same way as an offering for Señor Jerome de Cepeda. I have admitted many without money because they were devout, and our Lord brings others with dowries so that all is well. One has entered at Medina with eight thousand ducats and another will come here bringing with her nine thousand ducats, although I asked for nothing. Indeed, so many wish to come that we should thank God for it. One might almost say that no sooner does any one begin to pradlise prayer than she desires to join us. We cannot take more than thirteen in each house, for our Constitutions forbid us to beg and we eat whatever is brought to the turn, so that we cannot have a large community. I think you will be delighted when you see our convents. As for the alms we receive, no one asks me for an account of them nor has any one the right to see them but myself, which entails additional trouble on me.

Give my kindest regards to Señor Pedro Ahumada and tell him all about me, for I have little time for writing. I feel very anxious about Augustin de Ahumada' as I do not know whether he is devout or not; I pray much for him. Remember me to Señor Hernando de Cepeda; his sister's daughter lately made a fairly good marriage.