Letter 146. To Father Gracian, Paterna, Toledo, the middle of December, 1576

Joy at receiving Father Gradan s letters. Scandal about a nun at Paterna. The community at Paterna. Offer of a foundation. Desire for a separate province.

Jesus be with your Paternity, my Father.

OH! how happy to-day has been, for Father Mariano has sent me all the letters you wrote to him. You need not tell him to do so as he always forwards them because I asked him, and even if they arrive late, they are a great comfort. Still, you show me great charity by writing to tell me the main points of what is happening, because as I said, the others are slow in coming unless you send him one to transmit to me, when he despatches it at once. We are very close friends.

The manner, and above all the perfeólion, with which your Paternity writes, make me praise God.

0 my Father! with what majesty you treat this subjedt and how it comforts my soul! If we were not faithful to God for the sake of the gain to ourselves, but only for the authority He gives His representatives, and if our faithfulness increased in proportion to that authority, our profit would still be immense. It is clearly evident that your Paternity stands in God's favour. May He be blessed for all things: for the mercies He grants me and such light and powers as He bestows on you. I do not know when I shall succeed in serving Him as

1 ought.

I must say that the letter you wrote me from Trigueros about Tostado was a politic piece of work. You did well to tear up the letters containing a petition which they wanted to show you. God helps you, my Father, and teaches you visibly, as they say. There is no doubt you will meet with great success in your enterprise. Oh, how I envy you and Fray Antonio when I think how many sins you will both prevent! And here am I, with only my wishes!

Let me know what foundation there is for this virgin of the cloister's having been accused of losing her character; for it seems monstrous wickedness to bring such a charge falsely.' However, nothing can compare with what you told mc in your letter the other day. Do you think it is a small grace from God that your Paternity should bear such trials as you do? I assure you that it is His reward for the services you have rendered to Him where you are. And this will not be the only recompense. I am aghast at all the misfortunes with which you meet, especially regarding the Masses; I have been to choir to beg God to convert these souls. It is impossible that His Majesty should allow such an evil to go on now that He has begun to make it manifest.

I realize more clearly every day what are the eífeóls of prayer and what a soul ought to be in God's sight if it prays for the salvation of others for the sake of the divine glory alone. Really, my Father, I beheve that the objed: of founding these convents is being fulfilled — that is, that God should be petitioned to help those who toil for His honour and service, since we women are good for nothing ourselves. When I refledl upon the perfed:ion of these nuns, I am not surprised at their obtaining all they ask from God. I was delighted at seeing the letter from the Prioress of Paterna to your Paternity and the prudence God bestows on you in all matters. I trust in Him that these nuns of ours will do much good; they have made me wish that new foundations should not be stopped. I have already told your Paternity about a sister to which the enclosed letter from the Prioress of Medina relates. It is not a thousand ducats that they offer, but only six hundred. Possibly the person who wished for the foundation may be keeping the rest of the money for the present. I consulted Doilor Velasquez on the matter as I feel scrupulous about taking part in it against the General's order. He was very anxious that I should get Doña Luisa' to write to the ambassador in Rome and ask him to obtain the General's permission. Doctor Velasquez offers to supply the required information himself If the General refuses, they will apply to the Pope, telling him that these convents are mirrors of per-feélion for Spain. This will be our plan, unless your Paternity disapproves of it.

I replied that I wanted fuller information on the subjed: and wrote to that effedl to the Maestro Ripalda, formerly Rector at Burgos, my great friend in the Company of Jesus, asking him to let me know. If the thing seems feasible, I shall send some one to see the place and to consult about the matter. If your Paternity approves, when the fine weather comes I could commission Antonio Gaytan and Julian de Avila to go there. If your Paternity sends the necessary authorization, they could undertake the aifair as they did at Caravaca, without my going there. Although more of our nuns were sent to reform convents, there would be enough to suffice for all if only a few went to each house, as in the place where you are at present. However, more than two nuns would be required where the community was larger than at Paterna, and I should not have been averse to their having taken a lay sister with them even there, since we have some to spare. And what lay sisters they are !

I am fully convinced that there is no help for our communities of nuns unless there is some one 'within the citadel' to guard them. The convent of the Incarnation causes one to praise God for its present condition. Oh i how I wish all the nuns were withdrawn from the jurisdiction of theCalced, for that is the source of all the evils, and there is no other remedy for it. When we become a separate province, Í must dedicate my life to bringing it about. Yet, although houses subjed: to the friars may be relaxed, they are not in such a terrible state as those under the ordinary. If the prelates realized what a burden they have taken upon themselves and were as solicitous as your Paternity, matters would be very different and the numbers of prayers offered by holy souls for the Church would be no small favour from God.

I quite approve of what you say about the sisters' habits: in the course of a year you might make the rule binding upon all. When once the matter is carried, it is settled; there may be an outcry for a few days, but if some of the nuns are punished the rest will be silent, for most women are timid. For charity 's sake, do not keep those novices there since they have begun so badly. It is very essential that we should succeed with that house since it is the first we are reforming. I assure you that if these nuns were friendly, you have repaid them well by what you have done for them.

I am amused at the rigour of our Father, Fray Antonio. However, it is not misplaced, being strongly needed by some of the sisters, for I know them. He may have prevented more than one sin of speech and perhaps in future they will be more submissive. There is need of both kindness and severity, for that is the way our Lord treats us. There was no other means for those who were so obstinate. As I said before, our poor Discalced nuns are very isolated at Paterna and the position would be very trying if any of them fell ill. God will give them health as He sees that they require it.

All your Paternity's daughters in this part of Spain are going on well except those of Veas, who are being killed by lawsuits, but it is not of much account if they meet with some trials as they suffered nothing in founding their house. Never shall I spend happier days than those I passed there with my Paul. I was glad he signed himself your son' — how impetuously I exclaimed (as 1 was alone): 'That he is !' I am delighted at his saying so but I should be far more delighted if I were to see that he had brought matters to such a happy termination in Andalusia that he could return to look after us in Castile as I trust in God he will be able to do some day.

I am very sorry that the Prioress of Seville is ill, for it would be difficult to find another so well suited to that place. Will your Paternity kindly give orders that she is to be carefully tended, and that she should take some remedies for her chronic fever.

Oh, how well I get on with my confessor ! He has told me to eat more and to go to recreation as a penance.

My daughter Isabel is here. She asks how long you are going to play such tricks on her as to omit answering her letters. The other day, when I gave her a piece of melon, she declared that it was so cold it froze her throat. She says the quaintest things and is always merry: her sweet disposition reminds me of my Father's. May God watch over you and protedl you with greater care than He shows me ! Amen, amen.

Your Paternity's daughter. Teresa de Jesus.

I must tell you that the nuns there are extremely afraid of their prioress: also that they never state the whole of the case frankly to the superiors of the Order. There is need for caution about the students doing their errands for them.