Letter 253. To Father Gracian, Madrid, Avila, October 15, 1578

Death of Rubeo. Chapter of Almodovar, That the friars should not be sent to Rome.

JESUS ! May the Holy Spirit be with your Paternity, my Father.

ON seeing you delivered from those affrays, I was delivered from my trouble about the rest of the affairs, come what mav !

I was deeply grieved at the news they sent me about our Father General; I feel very sad about it. On the day it arrived I could do nothing but cry and I bitterly regret that we should have given such trouble to him who certainly did not deserve it. Had we gone straight to him, our path would have been smoothed for us. God forgive him who always prevented it, for I could have arranged it with your Paternity, though you gave little credit to my opinion on the matter. The Master will bring matters right, but I feel it keenly, and also what your Paternity has suffered ; for what you told me in the first of the two letters you wrote after your interview with the Nuncio, stabbed me to the heart.

You must know, my Father, that I was extremely distressed at your not having shown him your powers at once;' your adviser can have cared little for the trouble you would draw down on yourself. I am glad experience will have taught you in future to take the proper course as I have always advocated, instead of rowing against the stream. To tell the truth, obstacles have blocked our way. However, there is no more to be said about it, for God ordains such things so that His servants may suffer.

I should like to write more, but this letter must go at nightfall and it is late in the evening now. I have sent a lengthy letter to the Bishop of Osma, asking him to consult with the President and Father Mariano about the matter of which I wrote, and to let me know the result.

I have just seen my brother who desires to be kindly remembered to you. All here think that it would not be well to send friars to Rome, (especially now that Father General is dead,) for the following reasons. First, that their going would not be secret, and before they left Spain perhaps they might be captured by the Calced which would expose our fathers to deadly danger, and their papers and money would be forfeited. Again, they do not know how matters are managed in Rome, and when they arrived, our Father General no longer being there, they would be taken up as recusants when they were seen wandering through the streets, and there would be no one to defend them, as I told Father Mariano. If, with all influences in our favour, we have been unable to free Fray John in Spain, what would it be in Rome?

Every one here (especially my brother, who is much grieved at the way the Discalced are treated) opposes the idea of our sending friars to Rome, believing that some one should be sent who understands the law in such questions. Lorenzo considers this a very important point, as he knows the Mitigated fathers well. The aflfair would be put entirely into the hands of the person mentioned in my letter. Docflor Rueda feels such complete confidence in him that he thinks no one else would be required.

Let your Paternity examine the whole matter carefully, and if you and Father Mariano agree with what I say, despatch a messenger to Almodovar, telling them not to make arrangements for the fathers' journey to Rome. Will you send me word about it at once. The delegate who would be sent from here is thoroughly capable, but would cost rather more. If the funds can be found now, each convent will give its share later on. We could borrow from the legacy left to Alcala and repay it afterwards, for I certainly cannot supply the money from Avila at present. I am telling Father Mariano so, as you will see by the enclosed letter.

Keep in good health, my Father: the Lord will bring all our affairs right. God grant we may agree this time and that nothing more may be done for the present to give these friars a chance of martyrizing us.

Your Paternity's unworthy subject, Teresa de Jesus.

Things are in a terrible state just now and the devil is helping the Calced. He did himself a good turn when he exchanged the Archangel for the temporizer who is there now. I do not know how such folly could have been committed, but I believe they would have done worse had Ardapilla been there. I realize now, my Father, what martyrdom you suffered amid such conflicfling opinions. They should have left you alone, for God was evidently guiding you.

All your daughters here beg for your prayers. I am glad you ordered that the subjed: should not be mentioned. Let us adl with deliberation and carry out this plan about Rome. Time smooths difficulties and, as your Paternity says, things will be settled there in time. Only, I wish you were near me so that we could see one another from time to time; it would be a great consolation to my soul. However, I do not deserve consolation but cross after cross — as long as you have none, let them come and welcome.

I am fairly well, though this head of mine is in a very bad state.

May God be ever with your Paternity ! For charity's sake, do not tire yourself by writing much. I am very glad they are electing no Provincial: from what your Paternity says, it is extremely prudent, though when Fray Antonio told me they were bound to nominate one under pain of sin, I did not contradidl him. I thought all had been settled there but if they have to go to Rome to obtain the confirmation of the elections, they might also petition for the separate province. If they pass through Avila, let them give me an account of all that is to be done.

To-day is Od:ober 15.

I am your Paternity's subjed: and daughter, Teresa de Jesus