Letter 242. To Father Gracian, Madrid, Avlla, August 14, 1578

The Sainfs anxiety about Father Gracian. Advice as to obtaining a separate province.

JESUS!

May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with you, my Father.

HAD your Paternity not visited Avila, I should have gained small merit from our trials which caused me little grief, but since then I have paid my whole debt. I assure you that I was so touched by the sight of you that my heart felt broken all day yesterday, (Wednesday), for I could not bear to see you so downcast and with such grave reason, as wherever you go you are in danger and obliged to skulk and hide like a malefad:or. Yet never for a moment do I lose confidence in our final success. The fad: is, my Father, that God has sought a sure way of making me suffer by willing that the blows should fall where they hurt me more than when aimed at myself.

To-day, the vigil of our Lady's feast, the good Roque sent me a copy of the letters of provision which are a great comfort to us, for as the king thus takes the matter up your Paternity will be free from danger. Your peril was what tormented us, for I know that the sisters are courageous about all the rest. The Master has not willed that I should suffer long. It is fortunate that your Paternity left here when you did and that you are travelling via the Escorial.

You will tell me by the bearer, Pedro, all that has happened and is happening. Let news be sent to Valladolid, as the sisters there are anxious. They sent a messenger here, as they had learnt what had become of Fray Juan de Jesus. At the same time, do not forget to mention whether anything can be done to help Fray John of the Cross, nor to tell me whether it would be well to send some one to the Nuncio to show that the Discalced know something of obedience, since we are put under his authority. We shall consult together here as to our best course and shall follow it, if your Paternity is no longer at Madrid, for such an adlion cannot impair the justice of our cause, since we have obeyed. I received letters to-day from the convents of Valladolid and Medina; nothing has been notified to them. The Mitigated must have learnt what is happening, otherwise I feel sure these brethren of mine would not have been idle.

My Father, I feel rather anxious, for amid all this commotion and in these letters of provision, no other Visitor is mentioned but my Father Gracian. I should not like any edi6t to be sent from Rome against him, so I think it would be well for your Paternity to remember the light seen by Paul which seemed verified by that seen by Angela and that you should withdraw from this fire as far as possible. But do not vex the king, whatever Father Mariano may say. Your conscience is unsuited to cases about which contrary opinions may be held, for even when there is nothing to fear, you are troubled, as you have been lately. This course would appear right to every one. Let the others settle their disputes among themselves : when all has been arranged and made certain, it will be enough for you to expose yourself to danger without incurring scruples as well. I assure you that my chief anxiety during all this commotion has been the fear implanted in me (I cannot say how) that you will not be relieved from the Visitation. If it is the will of God, He will protedl you as He has hitherto, but it would be torture to me.

If you withdraw as I have suggested, you will need all your tadt in order to appear to fear nothing but offending God which is the truth. Should your Paternity converse with the Nuncio, justify yourself in this affair, and explain, if he will listen, that you will always obey him and only delayed submission in the past because you knew that Tostado was bent on destroying our newly established Reform. You might say that he can discover the state of our houses by making inquiries, and other things of the sort.

Your Paternity should strive, in every possible way, to obtain a separate province on whatever conditions the Calced require. On that all depends, even the very existence of the Reform. This must be stated to the king, the president, the archbishop, and all the rest, and they must be made to understand what scandal and contention has resulted from the want of it, especially in Castile, where as there is neither Visitor nor justice to control them, the Mitigated behave as they like. Your Paternity will know better than I how to state the case: it is very foolish of me to write about it, but I mention it lest your other cares should cause you to forget it. I am not sure whether Pedro will take this letter as he cannot get a mule: at all events, the messenger will be trustworthy. For charity's sake, let me know all that is happening, however limited your time may be, and tell me how Father Mariano is.

The nuns here commend themselves earnestly to your prayers. If you witnessed their grief at your trouble, you would be touched, for it is all on my Father's account. I feel sorry for the sisters at Veas and Caravaca: we sent them a messenger and they must be in great distress for they have heard nothing lately. We wrote to them holding out great hopes, except as regards your Paternity, so that they might pray for you more fervently. Be kind enough to let Roque know if there is any means of communicating with them from Madrid. I forwarded fifty ducats to him yesterday and am sending to-day what will complete the sum of a thousand reales!'

I should be very sorry if your Paternity were obliged to remain at Madrid, or even where you are, during the warm weather. As these affairs are likely to take a long while to settle, would it not be well for you to come to Mancera? For charity's sake, consider the question, for we should be nearer one another. Let me know what has become of the prisoners taken at Pastrana. Oh, if only another vision would deliver you from the torment into which the other plunged you a few days ago! God grant it, and may He grant me the favour of seeing you in such a position that I may be freed from all my fears. Amen.

To-day is the vigil of our Lady of August. Our joys and sorrows come to us on her feasts as though from her.''

The unworthy servant and subjed: of your Paternity.

Teresa de Jesus.

• The autograph clearly shows that the last two clauses refer to Roque, not Father Gracian.