Letter 337. To Father Gracian, Seville, Valladolid, November 20, 1580

The Saint's anxiety at not hearing from him. Don Francisco leaves Pastrana and arranges his marrtage.

Illness of Father Hernandez.

May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with your Paternity.

JESUS!

HIS letter is not in my handwriting, as having already written a long letter to Avila to-day, my head is tired. I sent your Paternity a letter yesterday by Dofia Juana Dantisco and had already forwarded a very long one to you in the same way. God grant you reached Seville more‘safely than your letters reach Valladolid, (if you have written any) for I shall be very anxious until I know that you arrived safely. This is to inform you that a courier travels between Seville and this town, so do not fail to send me a note by him. I am well, glory be to God, and Sister Maria de San José is free from fever.

I gave you an account yesterday of Don Francisco’s behaviour, which surprised every one. It seems as though he must have been taken to pieces and transformed into somebody else. I am not astonished, considering his intercourse with his relations, but I am surprised that God should thus relinquish a creature who desired to serve Him. The divine judgments are wonderful. I was very presenting the Brief at the Carmel of Seville.» May God protect you and make you as holy as I ask of Him. Amen. The unworthy servant and daughter of your Paternity, Teresa de Jesus.

This letter has been written so quickly that God grant it may be readable! Francisco is in a most unhappy state of mind; I hear that he is suffering severely with his stomach and head and that his heart is very weak. God has shown me great favour in preventing his taking the habit. He said a great deal to me in Avila about no one’s having forced him into the religious life. I assure you, my Father, that I always dreaded what has happened, though I do not know why. It isa relief to me not to have charge of him, though he declares that he will not marry against my wishes. However, I fear it will bring him little happiness, and, but that I do not wish to seem annoyed at his condué, I would have nothing to do with the match. If your Paternity read the letters he wrote me from Alcala and Pastrana, you would be astonished at the joy and eagerness with which he looked forward to my obtaining the habit for him. He must have been strongly tempted, but I said nothing to him on the subject as he was sensitive on the point and his relative was present. He must feel ashamed of himself. May God bring the matter right and protect your Paternity. In my opinion, with the holy he would have been holy. I trust the Lord that he will save his soul, as he fears offending God.