Letter 323. To Father Gracian, Madrid, Toledo, June 3, 1580

The Saint petitions the Archbishop of Toledo for leave to make the Madrid foundation. Father Antonio's convalescence. The journey to Segovia.

JESUS!

May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with your Paternity, my Father.

| DO not know why our Lord puts so many obstacles in the way of my leaving Toledo and speaking to this ‘angel’. I wrote a sort of petition to him to-day as people advised me to: we shall ~ see whether he bids me go to Madrid or not. Another difficulty is that I fear we shall miss meeting Fray Angel on our way to Segovia, as he sent to say that when the feasts were over he should start for Madrid immediately. However, if the Archbishop settles the affair, I think we shall not defer our journey on Fray Angel’s account, but shall leave here on Tuesday.

Father Antonio’s health is so much better that he can say Mass: this is good news for you as you will be able to stay where you are. We shall talk when we meet at Segovia—if not, we shall see each other in heaven.” Fray Antonio has been so ill that I dreaded travelling alone with him lest he should break down on the way. As it would have been a pleasure to meet your Paternity, your absence

TO FATHER GRACIAN 43 added to my troubles to a certain extent, but I cannot understand why, whenever I try to get any pleasure for myself in this life, I always meet with disappointment. You might have come to see Fray Antonio when he was so seriously ill, it would have looked well; and it would not be amiss if you wrote to tell him you were glad of his recovery, for he has been very depressed.

Fray Hernando del Castillo’ is here. Report said that the Princess of Eboli had returned to her house in Madrid: the last news is that she is at Pastrana. I do not know which is true: in either case, it is a very good position for her. I am well, glory be to God. Will your Paternity let me know when Fray Angel arrives. Letters travel more quickly and safely by the carriers. I have written your Paternity two, telling you that I had received one from Father Nicolas together with the others sent with it. The one dated Tuesday before Corpus Christi day was delivered to me to-day, the Friday after that feast. Mother Brianda’s brother is taking you my answer. She is well and all the sisters ask for your Paternity’s prayers as I do for Sefior Velasco’s. As I wrote to him a short time ago, I am not doing so now. I am very sorry that the important letter I wrote to him was lost: it was to ask him to arrange for his sister to be in Madrid when I go there.

Father Nicolas tells me that he has left a deposit of eight hundred ducats at Seville, which the prioress says is for the needs of the Order in these negotiations. I tell you this so that the person who lent you a hundred ducats may be sure of prompt repayment. In case you cannot settle the matter, — if I write to Casademonte he will forward the sum immediately. May God direct all as He sees we need it, and have you in His keeping as I ask of Him. Your Paternity’s servant, Teresa de Jesus.

Will you despatch the enclosed letter to Father Nicolas and ask the fathers at Carmel what they know of the Father Vicar General: if possible let . me know what they say. I still expect to start on Tuesday or Wednesday unless anything fresh occurs: there seems some spell against our leaving.