Letter (number unidentified). To Don Alonso Velasquez, Bishop of Osma, and Former Confessor of the Saint, Palencia, May, 1581

St. Teresa’s prayers for the Bishop. Advice on prayer.

JESUS!

Most Reverend Father of my soul, (2 of the highest graces for which I am indebted to our Lord is the wish to obey. This virtue is a great joy and comfort to me, because it was most strongly commended by Him.

The other day you asked me to pray for you. I had been careful to do so and have increased my prayers since, not reflecting on my own worthlessness but looking on it asa command from you, so I trust your Lordship will receive what seemed to be manifested to me and will accept my good will, since I am instigated by obedience.

IspoKe to our Lord of the graces He has bestowed on you of which I know: the gifts of humility, charity, zeal for souls, and a desire for His glory. Aware that it was your wish, I begged for you an

TO DON ALONSO VELASQUEZ 163 increase in perfection and all the virtues, so that you might be worthy of the office to which He has called you. It was made known to me that you were wanting in the foundation of these virtues, without which the edifice falls to pieces for want of solidity. Prayer with its burning lamp, the light of faith, is lacking to you; also perseverance and fortitude in prayer which destroy the obstacles to union, that is, the unction of the Holy Ghost. This is the cause of the dryness and want of union of your soul.

We must bear with the importunity of a host of thoughts and rebellious fancies, besides natural impulses caused in the soul by its want of union, and in the body by its insubordination against the spirit. Though we imagine we are free from imperfections, yet, when God opens the eyes of the soul, as He is accustomed to do during prayer, these imperfections become perfectly clear.

It was shown to me that at the beginning of prayer your Lordship should make the sign of the cross, accuse yourself of all the faults committed since your last confession, and detach yourself from everything as though you were to die that very hour. You should sincerely repent of your sins and recite the Miserere and then say: ‘I come to Thy school, O Lord, to learn and not to teach. I will speak to Thee, though I am but dust and ashes and a miserable worm of the earth.’ Then add: ‘ Lord, manifest Thy power in me, who am but a wretched ant!’ After offering yourselfas a perpetual holocaust, place either before your eyes or mind a picture of Christ crucified, gazing on Him and meditating on one detail after the other with peace and affection of soul.

First, consider the divine nature of the Word of the Father united to the human nature, which would have no being in itself had not God given it one. Think of the ineffable love and profound humility with which God so emptied Himself, making man God by God becoming man. With what magnificence and generosity did God make use of His power, manifesting Himself to men, making them partakers of His glory, might, and greatness!

If this should arouse in you the admiration it usually excites, dwell upon it, for you ought to wonder at the sublime being so abased and the

~ abased exalted. Look at that thorn-crowned head, and consider how dense and blind are our intelle@s. Beg our Lord to open the eyes of our soul and to illumine our mind with the light of faith, so that we may humbly realize what God is and what we are, and that with this lowly self-knowledge we may keep His laws and counsels, doing His will in all things.

Then gaze upon His nail-pierced hands, contrasting His generosity with our meanness, His gifts with ours.

Look upon His feet, pierced by the nails, and recall how eagerly He seeks us and how slow we are to search for Him. See the wound in His side, which reveals His heart with its intense love for us, and His longing that it may be our nest and retuge, the door by which we may enter the ark amid the deluge of our temptations and trials, Entreat Him, since He wished that His side should

TO DON ALONZO VELASQUEZ 165 be opened to testify His love for us, that ours may be opened to Him, that we may reveal our heart to Him, lay our needs before Him, and ask for and obtain a remedy.

When you pray, you should be submissive and docile, ready to follow as God leads you, trusting entirely to Him. Listen attentively to the lesson He reads you, whether He turns His back or face to you: I mean, whether He shuts the door and leaves you outside, or leads you by the hand into His palace. Remain at peace in either case. When He reproves you, acknowledge His righteous and just judgment, and humble yourself, admitting that His judgment is righteous and just. If He consoles you, consider that you are unworthy of it and admire His goodness Whose nature it is to manifest Himself to men and make them share His power and bounty. It is the greatest insult that we should doubt God’s generosity in granting us favours, for He prefers to manifest His omnipotence by His mercy rather than by His justice. It would be a signal blasphemy to deny His ability to revenge insults offered Him, but a greater to deny His potency in the way He best likes to show it—by bestowing favours.

Not to be ready to yield up our understanding in prayer is to wish to teach, rather than to be taught by Him which is the object of our prayer. It would frustrate the end and intention with which we practise it.

If we call ourselves dust and ashes, we must possess their property, which is to lie on the ground. But should the wind rise it would be against their nature not to rise, to remain in the air as long as it uplifted them, and to return to their place when it fell. So the soul which compares itself to dust and ashes must follow the same laws; must be abased during prayer in its self-knowledge; but when the gentle breath of the Holy Spirit upraises and wafts it into the heart of God, there sustaining it and revealing His goodness and power, it must enjoy these mercies thankfully since He loves it so deeply, pressing it to His breast as a loving bridegroom caresses his bride.

It would be very rude and ill-bred of the wife of a king, drawn by him from the lower classes, to refuse to come to his court on the day he wished. Holy Scripture tells us how deeply Queen Vasthi offended her husband by such condu&. Our Lord is wounded by souls’ avoiding His presence for He declares that ‘ His deli ghts are to be with the children of men.’ (Prov. vii. 31). If all men withdrew from Him, God would be deprived of His delights. Though done under the pretext of humility, it would be indiscreet, discourteous and, ina way, contemptuous to refuse what He offered. How foolish of a person not to take what is offered when he needs it to support his life!

I said that you must resemble an earth-worm whose nature it is to grovel on the ground, abject, subject to its Creator and to creatures, never asserting itself though trampled on or pecked at by the birds. To be ‘trampled on’, means when, during prayer, the flesh rises against the spirit and with a thousand tricks and restless motions represents that many other occupations would be more useful, such as

TO DON ALONSO VELASQUEZ 167 helping other people, preparing a sermon, or performing the duties of our state of life. To this it may be answered that our own need is the first and greatest obligation, that perfect charity begins at home, and that, to do his work well, the shepherd must stand on the highest ground to watch his flock lest wild beasts attack it. Now, this high place is prayer.

I used the comparison of an earth-worm because, though the sparrows peck it, it does not rise from the ground or forfeit the obedience and submission Owing to its Creator which enjoin that it should remain where He placed it. Soman must not move from where God placed him: that is, in prayer, though the birds, that is, the devils, may peck and molest him with the importunate fancies and thoughts and restlessness caused by them at such times. The evil one rouses the imagination, dragging it hither and thither, and through the imagination he reaches the heart. Our prayer produces no small results if we suffer these annoyances and importunities patiently. To do this is to offer oneself as a holocaust in which the sacrifice is entirely consumed in the fire of temptation, nothing being left of it. Toremain in prayer without gathering anything from it is not loss of time but a great gain, for we are toiling without self-interest, solely for the honour and glory of our Lord. It may seem to you now that you labour in vain, but it is not so. You are like sons who work on their father’s estate: they are not paid every evening but receive the whole of their wages at the year’s end.

It strongly resembles the prayer in the garden

168. ST: TERESA’S CRI Tees in which our Lord Jesus Christ besought His Father to deliver Him from the bitterness and difficulty of overcoming His human nature. He did not ask to be delivered from His sufferings but from His repugnance to them. Christ asked, as regards man’s lower nature, that the strength of the spirit might be communicated to the flesh, makin g it as prompt to force itself to suffer as was the soul. He was told that this was not expedient but that He must drink the chalice, must overcome the cowardice and weakness of the flesh, to teach us that though He was true God, He was true man, since He felt the penalties of human nature like the rest of mankind. Anyone who gives himself to prayer must work ~ hard, like the ant, which, as it does not grow tired of storing in times of plenty for cold, wet weather, does not die of hunger like improvident inseéts. We must make ready against the violent tempests of death and judgment.

We must wear our wedding-clothes, our holiday clothes, for prayer: those for rest and not for work. Everyone tries to dress better on festivals, spending money on garments, which he thinks well laid out if they look fine. No one becomes learned ora courtier cheaply, or without serious effort: nor can we become heavenly courtiers or learned in divine matters without giving time and labour of soul.

I will say no more to your Lordship except to beg pardon for my audacity. Though this letter may be full of mistakes and nonsense, it is through no want of the zeal due to you from a faithful sheep of your flock who commends herself to your holy

TO VEN. ANA DE SAN AUGUSTIN 169 prayers. May our Lord have you in His keeping and grant you an increase of grace. Your Lordship’s unworthy servant and subjeét, Teresa de Jesus.