Letter 398. To Lorenzo de Cepeda, St. Teresa’s Nephew, Peru, Avila, December 15, 1581

Congratulations on his marriage. His child in § ‘pain. Teresita’s good qualities. Troubles at St. ‘Foseph’s, Avila. Messages to Augustin.

JESUS! May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with you, my son!

| RECEIVED your letter, and my joy at the good fortune our Lord has bestowed on you renews my pain at the grief I see you feel—as well you may. As I wrote at length about my brother’s death (may he be in glory!), I do not wish to renew your sorrow. I deeply regret that things are going very differently from what I wish, although, as I wrote to you, it has been a great comfort to me to witness Don Francisco’s success, for setting aside the rank of his bride who is conneéted with all the principal families in Spain, her own good qualities would have sufficed alone. You should write her the most polite letter possible and send her a present, for she deserves it. I assure you that if Don Francisco had been very rich it would have been an excellent match for him, but after having paid all the legacies left by his father, Teresa’s dowry,

TO DON LORENZO DE CEPEDA 269 and his own debts, there is so little money left that unless God provides for him, I do not know how he will manage to live.

May God be for ever praised for having favoured you by giving you a wife who will make your home happy and peaceful! I sincerely congratulate you, for the thought of your happiness is a great comfort to me. I kiss the Sefiora Maria’s hands repeatedly: she has a bedeswoman here with many to help her. We should very much like to meet her, but if that would entail hersharing our troubles, I would rather she were in peace at home than undergoing trials here.

It is Sister Teresa de Jesus who cheers my spirits. She is a woman now and grows steadily in virtue. Though I laughed when I read her letter to you, you may well take her advice, for God truly speaks by her and she practises what she preaches. May He uphold her, for she edifies us all. Her judgment is sound and I believe she will prove capable in every way. Be sure to write to her for she is very lonely; I feel deeply sorry for her when I think of her affeCtion for her father and the care he took of her, for there is no one to show her any kindness now. Don Francisco loves her dearly but can do nothing else for her.

Diego Juarez gave me more details than did you and your brother about Dofia Maria’s excellent qualities and all the rest of your good fortune, for your letters are too short, considering from what a distance they come. It is a great mercy of God that you made so good a match and were able to marry soon,’ [as you began to be fond of pleasure when you were so young that we should have had trouble with you. It makes me realize how much I love you, for the child resembles you so closely that I cannot help keeping her near me and loving her dearly though I am deeply grieved at the offence committed against God. Considering how small she is, it is extraordinary how like she is to Teresa in her patience. May God make her His faithful servant, for the little one is not to blame! You must take care that she is well trained, which she would not be where she is when she grows older. It would be better for her to be brought up by her aunt until we know what God means to make of her. Since He has given you riches, you might send a certain sum of money here and the interest would pay for her maintenance. When she is twelve years old, our Lord will decide as to what is to be done with her, and it is a great thing that she should be taught to be good. There would then be the money to provide for her future. She certainly deserves that this should be done for her, for she has a lovable character, and, baby as she is, she never likes to leave this house. There would have been no need to make us any payment for her] had not this convent been in a state of great necessity just now, for Francisco de Salcedo died (may he be in glory!) and left us a legacy which barely pays for our dinner and leaves nothing for supper, yet

' The paragraph in brackets was suppressed in former editions of the Letters and has been translated from the Spanish of P. Grégoire’s Lettres de Ste. Thérése by his kind permission, having first been printed at Quito in 1898 by Canon Manuel Polit.

TO DON LORENZO DE CEPEDA 271 almost all the other alms stopped at once. As time goes on matters will improve, but nothing has been added until now so that we suffer very much. Teresa’s dowry will be a great help if God allows her to be professed, as she anxiously desires to be.

At times my health is better than usual. Since you left Spain, God has founded a convent of Discalced nuns at Palencia, at Soria, and another at Granada, and after Christmas I am to leave here to found one at Burgos. God willing, I hope to return soon to Avila.

I am expecting a visit from my sister and her daughter; you would be extremely sorry if you knew how very poor they are. I greatly pity Dofia Beatriz, who wishes to be a nun but has no dowry. It would be real charity if you could manage to send them some money; however small the sum, it would be much for them. I am the one who wants no money: I only ask you to pray that I may do the will of God and that all of you may become great saints, for everything else will pass away.

All the nuns here, especially Mother San Jeronimo, wish to be kindly remembered to you; we all intercede for you. Take care, my son, since you bear the name of so good a father, that your a¢tions are worthy of him.

From what you write, when this letter reaches you, my brother, Augustin de Ahumada,will already have started. God bring him back safely! Should he not have left, will you kindly show him this letter for my head will not allow me to write much.

I assure you that unless he brings back the means to maintain himself, he will be in great straits, for there is no one here who could support him, and I should be deeply grieved at being unable to help him.

The Viceroy has returned and Father Garcia’ is well, but I have not seen him.

It is a rash thing for a man of Augustin’s age to take such a dangerous voyage for the sake ofmoney. He and I ought to think of nothing now except preparing for heaven. May God bring us there and may He make you as holy as I ask of Him! Amen, Amen. I kiss the hands of all your friends and will say no more. I enclose a letter from Teresa de Jesus: follow her advice and I shall be satisfied.

The convent of St. Joseph, Avila, Décember 1 oe 1581.

Your servant, Teresa de Jesus.