The Postulant
The chief characteristics of a Carmelite vocation — Impetuous joy — Recollection — Echoes from the cloister — Fervent preparation for her clothing — The ceremony.
August 2, 1901, the day on which the doors of Carmel opened to the happy postulant, was the first Friday of the month, a day consecrated to the sufferings of our Saviour and to reparation — Elizabeth's two special devotions at the time she entered our convent, which was dedicated to le Cceur agonisant de Jesus.
There, seconded by the grace of the Mystery which had so long inspired her prayer, she was to be, till death, an angel of consolation, fulfilling St Teresa's object in making her foundations : " To give our Lord friends whose devotion nothing can affect, now that so many forget and offend Him."
While the Divine Master, exposed upon His Eucharistic throne, was receiving her adoration for the first time within the cloister, we rejoiced at being able to offer a victim of such purity as this innocent girl to the great High Priest.
" Her soul is altogether angelic ; there are few like it even among those who enter the cloister," said the Dominican Father who had come to con- secrate her generous self-oblation. His words fitly describe the beginning of her religious life. She had passed through the world preserving her innocence without a stain, and might have said, like another of heaven's chosen souls " Touch me not ; I am passing by I" She would " pass by " at Carmel " as a bright fire, and frankincense burning in the fire."*
Her gifts, both of nature and of grace, were an augury of her future career. She already possessed the spirit of the eremitical life with which St. Teresa endowed her convents. While in the midst of worldly society she dwelt within the little cell she had constructed in her heart, and now that she was set on the Holy Mountain, she would soon win the graces of solitude.
From the very first she was delighted with a saying of our Mothers in the old days, "Live alone with the One" which became the motto of her religious life.
Prayer, which the seraphic Mother termed the cement that held her convents together, was already familiar to the postulant. We have seen how she was actuated by the spirit of penance and apostolic zeal, so that the chief characteristics of the Carmelite were already to be recognized in her.
Elizabeth of the Trinity set forth joyously on her holy career. She was delighted with everything, above all with her name, which gave the characteristic of her special drawing towards God. In order to correspond to it, she entered into the profound recollection which in the end absorbed her entirely ) *in her " Three."
" We were struck by this on seeing her at her first * Ecclus. 1. 9.
community duty in the refectory. After having finished her meal, she sat with closed eyes, her hands folded beneath her little cape, her whole attitude being that of one in deep prayer rather than of mere recollection. Indeed, to have opened her eyes she would have needed no slight effort.
A young nun who was serving, struck by such religious demeanour and entire oblivion of all around her in a postulant so soon after her entrance, said to herself . " It is too good to last ; no one could be so mortified on the very first day !" Yet to the last no one ever saw her raise her eyes needlessly during a conventual duty ; she was always retired and absorbed in God. Elizabeth was told that she might, and should take notice of what was around her. She obeyed, but with a certain amount of constraint which showed that she was not distracted from the thought of her Divine Master. " In the garden, in the cloisters — indeed, everywhere," she said, " He is so truly present that it seems as if we were only separated by a thin veil, and He were on the point of appearing."
She wrote more playfully, but to the same effect, to her family : " As you like details, I will tell you something very interesting. We have washed our clothes. I turned my dress up for the occasion, covered myself entirely with a large apron, and put on a pair of clogs to complete my costume. 1 went down to the wash-house where every one was rubbing away with all her might, and I tried to do the same. I splashed and soaked myself finely, but never mind — I was delighted with it ! Everything at Carmel is delightful ! iWe find the good God at, the wash just the same as at prayer ; there is nothing
7°
THE "PRAISE OF GLORY"
\ but Him everywhere ; we breathe Him and see Him, The prospect widens before me every day."
She wrote to the priest who had been the confidant of her great secrets for the last fifteen years, and who now consoles her mother: " I thank you with all my heart for your kindness to dear mamma ; I am not surprised at what she tells me. You know how grateful I am to you ; no day passes that I do not pray for you. I feel that all the treasures of the soul of Christ belong to me, so that I am infinitely rich. How overjoyed I am at drawing from this source for those 1 love and who have helped me !
" How good the good God is ! I cannot express my happiness, which I realize better every day. There is nothing here but Him ; He is all ; He suffices for all I like the hour of the great silence best — the time at which I am now writing to you. Picture me to yourself in the little cell of which I am so fond— the tiny sanctuary kept for Him and me alone. You can imagine what happy hours I spend there with Him I love. The Blessed Sacrament is exposed on Sundays in a small oratory in the house. When I open the door and look at the Divine Prisoner Who has made me His captive in Carmel, I almost feel as though I were opening the door of heaven. There I lay before Jesus all those who dwell in my heart, and I find them again near Him. You see, I often think of you, and I know, too, that each morning, when you offer the Holy Sacrifice, you remember your little Carmelite, who entrusted you with her secret such a long while ago. I do not regret the years I spent in waiting ; happiness deserves to be bought dearly, ood the good God is ! . . .
such great Oh I how
THE POSTULANT 71/
"I am glad that I live in the days of persecution. How holy we ought to be ! Pray that I may attain to the sanctity for which I long. I want to love as the saints and martyrs loved."
Elizabeth writes to her mother :
" To-morrow is the Feast of our Lady of the Seven Dolours. I thought that it might be called your feast too, dearest mamma, so I prayed fervently for you, and put your soul into the soul of the Mother of Sorrows, asking her to console you. I have a great devotion to a statue of the Mater dolorosa that stands at the end of our cloister ; I go there every evening to speak to her of you. I love the tears of our Lady, which 1 unite to those my poor mother sheds when she thinks of her Elizabeth. If only you could read my soul, you would learn how happy I am at Carmel ; my joy increases every day, and is known to God alone. What a wonderful lot He has chosen for His poor little child ! If you could but see all this for a single instant, you would be bound to rejoice, for before I could enter this little corner of heaven your fiat was required. I thank you again for having given it so bravely.
u The good God loves you, and your daughter is more fond of you than ever."
She writes to a little friend who would not be consoled for her absence, trying to make her understand the depths of her joy, and reassuring her about her health, which had suffered slightly from the trials of her last days at home.
" If you only knew how happy I am, you could not possibly cry any more, but would thank God for me. You will wonder, perhaps, how I can be so happy after having left all those I love to enter the solitude that delights me. I possess everything in God, and find those I left again with Him. We are not separated ; there will never be any grille between our hearts, and mine will always be the same. It dilates in Carmel, and knows how to love better than ever.
" The good God has restored my health without powders or quinine : I am stronger every day, and have a ravenous appetite. They take great care of me here ; you need not feel anxious. I sleep more soundly on the straw mattress than I ever slept before. I did not feel very safe on the first night, but expected to roll out on one side or the other before morning, but nothing of the sort happened, and now that I am used to it, the bed is delightfully comfortable. I like everything at Carmel ; the time flies, and I feel as if I had always lived in the convent."
Elizabeth was as gentle and obedient here as she had been in the world, and from the very first showed a tender charity that revealed Who was the Guest Who dwelt in her little " house."
The nun in the next cell suffered from violent headaches, and could not bear the least noise. For five years Sister Elizabeth was careful of her slightest movements, never seeming to suffer from the extreme constraint, for unselfishness had become her second nature. She had practised virtue for so long that she seemed to require no effort to conquer self, and had we not known of her extreme sensitiveness, we should have thought her indifferent to the inevitable friction of opposite characters.01
As a postulant, she gave evidence of a spiritual life laid on solid foundations. The following letter describes jher intimacy with God f)
" Life for the Carmelite is communion with God from morning till night, and from night till morning. How empty our cells and cloisters would be did He not fill them ! But we see Him in everything, for we bear Him within us, and our life is heaven anticipated. Prayer is rest and repose , we come quite simply to Him we lovej we keep close to Him like a babe in its mother's arms^and let our heart go out to Him."
answered by our little sisterj at recreation in the noviceship a week after she entered Carmel.
" What do you consider the ideal of sanctity ?" — " To live by love."
\ " What is the quickest way to attain to it ?" — " To become little, and to surrender self once for all . 'J>
"Which saint do you prefer?" — "The beloved disciple who rested on his Master's heart."
" Which woman saint do you prefer ?" — " Our holy Mother, Saint Teresa, because she died of love."
" What is your chief characteristic r" — " Sensitiveness."
"What is your favourite virtue ?"—" Purity : 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.' "
" What fault do you most dislike ?"— " Any kind of selfishness."
" Give a definition of prayer." — " The union of one who is not'*, with the One Who is."
" What book do you like best ?"— " < The Soul of Christ/ which reveals to me all the secrets of the Father Who is in heaven."
"Do you long greatly for heaven?" — "Sometimes I feel homesick for it ; but excepting the vision of it, I possess it in the depths of my soul."
" What kind of martyrdom would you prefer ?" — " 1 love them all, especially the martyrdom of love."
"What name would you like to have in heaven ?" — " The will "\ of God."
" What is your motto ?"— " God in me and I in Him." 3
It was evident that her whole time was spent in the perpetual communion with God of which she speaks. The silence of Carmel was a joy to her, for she could fix her thoughts on heaven. " You ask me what I am doing," she wrote to a friend. u I might answer that a Carmelite only does one thing . love and pray. But as she is still on earth, though living in heaven, she must, while devoting herself to love, do some work in order to accomplish the will of Him Who first submitted to labour as an example to us. We begin our day with an hour's prayer ; then we say the Divine Office, and assist at Mass. Vespers are at two o'clock ; mental prayer from five to six ; Compline at a quarter to eight ; we pray from then until Matins at nine o'clock, and leave the choir at a little before eleven to go to rest. We have two hours' recreation during the day, and keep silence at other times. When I am not employed elsewhere, I work in our cell. A straw mattress and a small chair are its only furniture, but it is full of God, and I pass many happy hours there with my Bridegroom. There is something sacred about the cell ; it is a private sanctuary for Him and His little bride. We are so happy there together! I am silent, listening to Him and loving Him, while sewing the dear serge that I have so longed to wear/'
The months passed by, and our dear little sister was looking forward to wearing the holy habit of the Immaculate Virgin — <c Queen and Glory of Carmel." She was particularly fond of our mantle, the symbol of purity. When would she approach the altar, wrapped in its white folds ? She pondered over it — indeed, she did more: she questioned St. Teresa herself, and put her cause into the holy Mother's hands.
During the octave of the great feast of October 15 Elizabeth spent the hour between Compline and Matins in prayer before the relic exposed in the saint's hermitage. One evening, while praying more fervently than ever for the "double spirit" of Carmel and the mantle, which was to be for her also the sign of special blessing, she was informed, interiorly, that it would be given her on the approaching Feast of the Immaculate Conception.
On the next day she told the Mother Prioress, who, to humble her, replied that before thinking of wearing the habit of an Order, its spirit and virtues must be acquired. Sister Elizabeth accepted the little trial with her usual calm, and went away as sweet and peaceful as she was before.
A month later Chapter met, and considered the question of her clothing. The Mother Prioress told her that she would have to make her petition on that very day, and bade her pray a great deal, adding: If I do not know what the decision of the good God and the community will be, but you must prepare yourself to receive the answer peacefully, whatever it may be. You have still much to work at, so perhaps you will be put off." " Yes, Mother," she replied, " I am very imperfect ; but I think the good God will grant me this grace, and how can my sisters refuse it me ? They must love me, for I am so fond of them !"
Every voice and heart was in favour of the young sister for whom the nuns already felt such warm affection.
Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity, overwhelmed with gratitude, had recourse for her preparation to Him Who she knew loved her deeply. The Divine
Master responded to her appeal, operating such great things within her soul that she sometimes seemed quite faint. cc I can no longer bear the burden of these graces," she said. Her longing for heaven became more ardent. Like the bride in the Canticles, she languished while waiting for the Vision, the eternal union ; her holy languor alone could check her constant presentiment of a speedy end to her time of waiting and her hopes of suffering greatly for God.
We need only look into the "Spiritual Canticle" of our Father, St. John of the Cross, to find the history of Elizabeth's soul : " The wise man saith that the soul that seeketh Him as a treasure shall find Him. God grants a certain spiritual presence of Himself to the fervent prayers of the loving soul which seeks Him more earnestly than treasure, seeing that it has abandoned all things, even itself, for His sake. In that presence He shows certain profound glimpses of His Divinity and beauty, whereby He still increases the soul's anxious desire to behold Him. For as men throw water on the coals of the forge to cause intenser heat, so our Lord in His dealings with certain souls, in the intermission of their love, makes some revelations of His Majesty, to quicken their fervour, and to prepare them more and more for those graces which He will give them afterwards. Thus the soul, in that obscure presence of God, beholding and feeling the supreme good and beauty hidden there, is dying of desire of the vision."2
Thus God Himself prepared Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity, for the interior transformation of which her clothing was but the symbol.
When the date of the ceremony was discussed, her obedience and self-surrender prevented her expressing the desire she still cherished that it might be on the day for which she secretly hoped. The wishes of her family and the preacher's engagements both seemed to oppose the fulfilment of St. Teresas tromise^ and the clothing was fixed for December 27, the Feast of St. John the Evangelist. However, circumstances made it necessary to choose an earlier day, and Sister Elizabeth wrote to Carcassonne : " Mary will clothe me with the habit of Carmel on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception ; I am to prepare for my betrothals by a retreat of three days. When I think about it, I feel as if I were no longer in this world. Pray hard that your little Carmelite may give and surrender herself completely, and may gladden the heart of her Divine Master !"
Her ardent longings were gratified on December 8, 1 901. The day was Sunday! Elizabeth, whose devotion to the Mystery of the Blessed Trinity was daily becoming deeper, was delighted at the coincidence ; the Immaculate Virgin presented her as a sacrifice of praise to the glory of the Three Divine Persons. The young girl's joy was so great that she was unconscious of what she was doing and what was going on around her. The Prioress noticed it on meeting her at the enclosure door, and wondered how the ceremony would pass off. The Divine Master rewarded the generous novice for the gift of her heart by filling it with an overwhelming love.
The first stage of her religious life ends here. Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity had tasted the sweetness and joys of Thabor, but she was not to stay there. Like the Apostles and saints, she was called to follow our Saviour in the anguish of His Agony, in the sufferings of Calvary. Her love knew no limits, and God desired that there should be no limit to the favours He had begun to bestow on her. The soul, fainting beneath "the burden of His grace," must be dilated ; a deeper bed must be made for the flood of grace which was already overflowing. This Divine work was to be wrought by suffering.
SISTER,
ELIZABETH OF THE TRINITY CLOTHING DAY.
ON HER
To face page 78.
Footnotes
Chapter 7 of 19